Why Do Ex-Bar Girls Remain in Pattaya?

[123Stodg]

In Pattaya I've noticed a particular type of woman that I've seen regularly. These are not one that are out working at night, but they look to have been part of the nightlife scene before. You know the type, they often have lots of tattoos, speak good English, but it's broken English and it's obvious they learned it through their work, and they carry themselves with a kind of sassy confidence that can come across as pretentious smugness. 

 

They might no longer be working directly in the bars, but they stay part of that Pattaya scene, hanging out in expat spots, some running small businesses, or even just lounging around in the same areas that they once worked. The question is why do so many of these women remain in Pattaya even after they’ve left working in the bar scene?

 

I wonder if they simply wouldn’t be accepted if they went back to their home villages. Many of them come from conservative rural farming areas where being a former bar girl, let alone one covered in tattoos, piercings, and fluent in street-smart English, might lead to social rejection. Back home, they could struggle to reintegrate into a society that looks down on their past choices and their current persona.

 

Another reason might be that Pattaya offers them a sense of freedom and belonging that they can’t find elsewhere. Pattaya has its own sort of non-Thai culture: it’s a melting pot of expats, tourists, and Thais who are used to the unconventional party scene. There, they can embrace who they’ve become without judgment, and their bold personalities might even thrive in that kind of environment where there is a constant influx of foreigners looking for excitement. Maybe they're even addicted to the perceived thrill of the place.

 

Of course, there’s also the practical aspect. Many former bar girls have built their lives around Pattaya. They’ve made connections with expats and tourists over the years, some of whom support them financially or have helped them to start a small local business. The city is also full of opportunities for unusual side hustles, things like helping foreigners with basic services, running massage shops, starting some small food business, or operating a market stall. Leaving Pattaya might even mean giving up the only stability they’ve carved out in a place where they actually know the ropes.

 

It is also possible that some truly enjoy the freer lifestyle I guess. For some, it might not be about necessity, but actually preference. So I wonder if ex-bar girls stay in Pattaya mainly because they have no choice or because they feel they've found a place where they can truly be themselves?

 

[G_Money]

It’s where the money is.

[dcsw53]

How long have you been here.
They are here for one simple reason, the hope that a farang will fall in love with them and take them away from all this.
It happened to me 10 years ago and I have never ben happier in my life. Only difference, she did not come with tatoos.

 

 

[RichardColeman]

17 minutes ago, 123Stodg said:

The question is why do so many of these women remain in Pattaya even after they’ve left working in the bar scene?

They are getting a monthly wage from men abroad - many men sending to  one lady in many cases.

 

I know married Thai women that still go to the bar scene and still have the odd client. They just seem to have farang husbands that are either too old or do not care anymore

 

[RSD1]

31 minutes ago, dcsw53 said:

They are here for one simple reason, the hope that a farang will fall in love with them and take them away from all this.

The OP seems to be referring to women that are no longer hunting for a foreigner. The question seemed to be why don't they go back home when they have the option to. 

[RSD1]

24 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

They are getting a monthly wage from men abroad - many men sending to  one lady in many cases.

 

I know married Thai women that still go to the bar scene and still have the odd client. They just seem to have farang husbands that are either too old or do not care anymore

 

Yes, they could have someone sending them money from abroad, but that doesn't answer the question why are they staying in Pattaya, does it? 
 

And if they're still having the odd client, then they're still working in the nightlife. They aren't ex-bar girls, but that answers why they are still there. 

[RSD1]

To me, it's simple, what is in Pattaya stays in Pattaya. 

[hotandsticky]

Just now, RSD1 said:

Yes, they could have someone sending them money from abroad, but that doesn't answer the question why are they staying in Pattaya, does it? 
 

And if they're still having the odd client, then they're still working in the nightlife. They aren't ex-bar girls, but that answers why they are still there. 

 

 

They would have exercised that option much earlier if it was of interest. Consider Pattaya - with friends and a vibrant social scene compared to Bumfuknowhere watching rice grow or tapping rubber............hmmmm, tough choice.

[RSD1]

1 minute ago, hotandsticky said:

They would have exercised that option much earlier if it was of interest. Consider Pattaya - with friends and a vibrant social scene compared to Bumfuknowhere watching rice grow or tapping rubber............hmmmm, tough choice.

I guess there's two types. The ones who get hooked on the place and don't ever leave. And then you got the ones who do want to go back home to their villages. Some go back to help take care of aging parents. There are probably all kinds of scenarios. I would guess much less than 50% of them stay there. 

[MalcolmB]

27 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

The OP seems to be referring to women that are no longer hunting for a foreigner. The question seemed to be why don't they go back home when they have the option to. 

Greedy families always asking them for money?

Kids and parents that they have abandoned and burned bridges?

Pattaya is fun, living in the sticks is boring?

Friends are in Pattaya? 
Hundreds of reasons, impossible to generalize 

[hotandsticky]

20 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

I guess there's two types. The ones who get hooked on the place and don't ever leave. And then you got the ones who do want to go back home to their villages. Some go back to help take care of aging parents. There are probably all kinds of scenarios. I would guess much less than 50% of them stay there. 

 

 

50/50 sounds a reasonable stab at the number.

[OneMoreFarang]

All of above.

Personally, I live in Sukhumvit in Bangkok. These days I don't go out as much anymore as I used to. Do I move? No. Because I am familiar with where I live, and I like it. If I would move, then obviously it should be a "better" place. But better in which way? Quiet with fewer restaurants? A place with fewer young people and more old people? Maybe a village up country? All this doesn't sound better to me. And I am pretty sure with many girls who lived in Pattaya it's the same. Why move to a less exiting place?

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, 123Stodg said:

I wonder if they simply wouldn’t be accepted if they went back to their home villages. Many of them come from conservative rural farming areas where being a former bar girl, let alone one covered in tattoos, piercings, and fluent in street-smart English, might lead to social rejection. Back home, they could struggle to reintegrate into a society that looks down on their past choices and their current persona.

 

It seems the most important question is if they have wealth. If yes, then it seems nothing else matters. It seems to me most villagers look up to people with money, a nice house, a big pickup, and all that. And then many send their daughters to places like Pattaya to get the same. TiT.

[OneMoreFarang]

35 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

The question seemed to be why don't they go back home when they have the option to.

Go home for what reason?

To see the old parents and take care of them? No more parties, no more entertainment?

Obviously, some do that. But it seems to me they do it mostly because they are old themselves and/or run out of money to afford Pattaya and parties.

[cdemundo]

I think it's fairly common preference.

I saw Sean Penn describe the reason why he is often lat for appointments:

"I like to stay where I am."

 

Laziness, familiarity, lack of strong incentive to relocate.

 

[Hummin]

49 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

The OP seems to be referring to women that are no longer hunting for a foreigner. The question seemed to be why don't they go back home when they have the option to. 

Because nobody judge in Pattaya who they are, who they was? 

 

Oh wait, there are some bar stool members who do, shame

 

Why on earth do these cind of questions come up daily, that's a mystery 

[RSD1]

Thinking more about this whole topic, I remember when I was in Pattaya over 20 years ago and in a gogo bar where there was a girl dancing on stage with large tattooed letters across her stomach (and in a big monolithic font) which read "FU*K YOU". And she also had more big tattoos of colorful flames coming up her thighs and seemingly pointing towards those words.
 

In that moment, I thought to myself, only a place like this could produce an outcome like that. It was startling and sad all at the same time and left me with a sinking feeling that night. A visual experience I will never forget. It seemed like there would never be a way out for her, but who knows. Hopefully, she turned out OK. 

[Yagoda]

3 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Thinking more about this whole topic, I remember when I was in Pattaya over 20 years ago and in a gogo bar where there was a girl dancing on stage with large tattooed letters across her stomach (and in a big monolithic font) which read "FU*K YOU". And she also had more big tattoos of colorful flames coming up her thighs and seemingly pointing towards those words.
 

In that moment, I thought to myself, only a place like this could produce an outcome like that. It was startling and sad all at the same time and left me with a sinking feeling that night. A visual experience I will never forget. It seemed like there would never be a way out for her, but who knows. Hopefully, she turned out OK. 

She was wonderful last time I saw her in Patts about 15 years ago. My nickname for her was Hoover.

 

Remember the Golden Rules: The crazier they are the more tatts they have, and the crazy ones are the best in bed.

[Henk Langeweg]

There out of the Bar but the Bar is still in them ... also who wants to live in the $$#$# village they come from? They've have learned from the experience ... That the world doesn't evolve around their Village, not even around Thailand ...

[OneMoreFarang]

44 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Thinking more about this whole topic, I remember when I was in Pattaya over 20 years ago and in a gogo bar where there was a girl dancing on stage with large tattooed letters across her stomach (and in a big monolithic font) which read "FU*K YOU". And she also had more big tattoos of colorful flames coming up her thighs and seemingly pointing towards those words.
 

In that moment, I thought to myself, only a place like this could produce an outcome like that. It was startling and sad all at the same time and left me with a sinking feeling that night. A visual experience I will never forget. It seemed like there would never be a way out for her, but who knows. Hopefully, she turned out OK. 

 

I guess over the year the meaning of that tattoo will change:

Originally: Come, let's do it. I like it and I make money with it.

Later: Go away!

Same words, different meaning. 

 

 

[actonion]

Because to earn a few bob in pattaya means  laying on her back,        to earn  a few bob  in the jungle means  hard work in the sun... they take the easy "route"

[NickyLouie]

🇬🇧 prolly coz their English husband lives on Soi Buakow (above the bar where he met her).

 

[Hummin]

1 hour ago, RSD1 said:

Thinking more about this whole topic, I remember when I was in Pattaya over 20 years ago and in a gogo bar where there was a girl dancing on stage with large tattooed letters across her stomach (and in a big monolithic font) which read "FU*K YOU". And she also had more big tattoos of colorful flames coming up her thighs and seemingly pointing towards those words.
 

In that moment, I thought to myself, only a place like this could produce an outcome like that. It was startling and sad all at the same time and left me with a sinking feeling that night. A visual experience I will never forget. It seemed like there would never be a way out for her, but who knows. Hopefully, she turned out OK. 

Met a freelancer back in my days in early 2000 in Krabi, who had a tramp stamp on her lower back "Love you long time" She never recovered and as far as I know still in the business doing her tatto shop with a thai guy. The most crazy over the top crazy I ever met out partying. But fun

 

She came knocking on my door 3 o`clock in the morning, drunk, and wanted a piece of me before her then boyfriend arrived at the airport 3 hours later. I sent her away because i was sober, and she was drunk, but I met her later with her bf at the beach club. That was the life back then, floating around, everyone <deleted> everybody, and the last to know, was the bf or husband. I guess it is the same today as then. if you are not there, ,,,,,,,,,, and you have a hot gf who likes to party, 

[SAFETY FIRST]

3 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

Why Do Ex-Bar Girls Remain in Pattaya? 

I'm still good friends with a girl I met (had a relationship with) from a soi 6 bar 20 years ago. 

 

She sees me occasionally riding around Pattaya and yells out to me. 

 

Songkran a couple of years back she saw me, I stopped and spent the day playing water with her.

She still looks good but not my type, aged, bit heavier etc. 

 

Ex bar girls meet good friends working the bar, it's to be expected that they remain in Pattaya. 

 

 

[RSD1]

6 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Ex bar girls meet good friends working the bar

Really? 

[SAFETY FIRST]

28 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Really? 

Some good, some bad. 

 

[Patong2021]

A depressing read.  I would ask how people can live like this, but then, they obviously do.

[georgegeorgia]

1 minute ago, Patong2021 said:

A depressing read.  I would ask how people can live like this, but then, they obviously do.

What a childish comment 

[georgegeorgia]

35 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Really? 

Yes ! Some people have friends !

 

They don't sit in their 21sqm Pattaya room laying on the bed logged  in this forum all day,they actually go out to meet friends 

[Jim Blue]

But George I couldn't hear my mobile properly in the bar ?