The Lower League Thread

[mrbojangles]

How many times have we all felt like this. Apparently from a disgruntled Grimsby fan on the Grimsby fans site:-

'Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC

'I am writing with regard to my absolute astonishment and disbelief as to the sheer magnitude of your complete lack of talent and failure to carry out the job for which you are paid to do. I am not aware of any swear word or other derogatory phrase in my current vocabulary which comes close to a description of your 'performance' (and I use that term loosely) this afternoon, but let me just say that you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible.

'In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my one bedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and w***ing furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here.

'I would genuinely like to know how you pathetic little p***flaps sleep at night, knowing full well that you have taken my money and that of several thousand others and delivered precisely <deleted> all in return. I run a business myself, and I believe I could take any 4,000 of my customers at random; burn down their houses, impregnate their wives and then dismember their children before systematically sending them back in the post, limb-by-limb, and still ensure a level of customer satisfaction which exceeds that which I have experienced at Blundell Park at any time so far this season.

'You are a total disgrace, not only to your profession, not only to the human race, but to nature itself. This may sound like an exaggeration, but believe me when I say that I have passed kidney stones which have brought me a greater level of pleasure and entertainment than watching each of you worthless excuses for professional footballers attempt to play a game you are clearly incapable of playing, week-in, week-out.

'I considered, for a second, that I was perhaps being a little too harsh. But then I recalled that I have blindly given you all the benefit of the doubt for too long now. Yes, for too long you have failed to earn the air you've been breathing by offering any kind of tangible quality either as footballers or as people in general. As such, I feel it's only fair that your supply runs out forthwith.

'I trust, at this precise moment in time, that Mr Fenty is in his office tapping away on the Easyjet web site booking you all one-way flights to Zurich, complete with an overnight stay with our cheese eating friends at Dignitas. Don't bother packing your toothbrush - you won't need it.

'In the event that our beloved chairman can't afford the expense (understandable given that he's soon going to have to assemble a new squad from scratch), then I am prepared to sell my family (including my unborn child) to a dubious consortium of Middle Eastern businessmen in order to pay for the flights. Christ, I'll drive you there myself, one-by one, without sleep, if I have to.

'Failing that, understanding that most dubious Middle Eastern businessmen are tied-up purchasing Premier League football clubs, I ask you to please take matters into your hands. Use your imagination, guys - strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery.

'So, in summary, you pack of repugnant, sputum-filled, invertebrate b***ards; leave this club now and don't you f**king dare look back. You've consistently demonstrated less passion and desire than can commonly be found within the contents of a sloth's scrótum, so frankly you can just all <deleted> off - don't pass go, don't collect your wages, don't ever come back to this town again.

'I look forward to you serving me at my local McDonald's drive-thru in the near future.

'Yours sincerely

A very disillusioned Mariner'

[chavy]

Norwich 2 v Tranmere Rovers 0

2nd from bottom with 10 pts from 16 matches...... Does it get any worse ?........

yes Ken, John Barnes has just been hired again

MrBJ, did any of those unfortunate players respond to that rant ??

[mrtoad]

1-1 against Brizzle city last Saturday makes that 8 games unbeaten for the mighty reds this is definate unchatered waters for us !!!

I see the Red Indian stuff is back again mate??

[chavy]

1-1 against Brizzle city last Saturday makes that 8 games unbeaten for the mighty reds this is definate unchatered waters for us !!!

I see the Red Indian stuff is back again mate??

Yes, it's an encore !!

Middlesborough this Saturday, & another 3 points me thinks

[mrtoad]

1-1 against Brizzle city last Saturday makes that 8 games unbeaten for the mighty reds this is definate unchatered waters for us !!!

I see the Red Indian stuff is back again mate??

Yes, it's an encore !!

Middlesborough this Saturday, & another 3 points me thinks

Isn't there a poster on here who has a Red Indian obsession?

[LeungKen]

Leyton Orient 2 v Tranmere Rovers 1

Now we've really hit rock-bottom

[Moonrakers]

Carlisle 0 - 1 Swindon

A good away victory in difficult conditions.

The winner scored in the 3rd minute as Charlie Austin powers it home, groovy.

[thaimiller]

Rotherham left it late, but 2 goals in the last 5 minutes, kept us 3 points off top spot.

[EastSaxCol]

Oldham 2 U's 2

U's were 1-0 up at half-time and laying in second place before I drove up to London for a London Jazz Festival gig at the South Bank Center. I couldn't really catch the final score until I got home in the early hours , but it was a bit disappointing to read of yet another draw which sees us slip into third place behind Huddersfield **on goal difference. Although that could be changed with a win on Tuesday if we beat Stockport at home -- my last match for a while before returning to the LOS -- so, Come On U's !

Also, it looks as though Norwich could be deducted points for poaching Lambert.

** Correction

1 Leeds United 39

2 Charlton 33

3 Huddersfield 30

4 Colchester 30

Edited November 22, 2009 by Happy Hammer

[mrbojangles]

The Mighty Dale beat top of the league, Dag and Red 1-2, at their gaff. Come on the Dale

[rijit]

3-1 win at stockport with 2 goals in jury time, may look a bit like a smash and grab but we were by a long way the best team and overall totally deserved the 3 points. Another great free kick for our first by Harley. But in all fairness their equaliser was also from a free kick and was actually better. Got to feel for stockport fans, seem nice people and a friendly club. Six months in admin, far, far to long. all their cash is going to the administrators, they apparently charging 300 per hour. Still its onwards and upwards for the mighty Grecians.

[Macclad]

Macclesfield Town 1 Bournemouth 2

Disappointing defeat to the league leaders after Macc score first.

[basinboy]

How many times have we all felt like this. Apparently from a disgruntled Grimsby fan on the Grimsby fans site:-

'Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC

'I am writing with regard to my absolute astonishment and disbelief as to the sheer magnitude of your complete lack of talent and failure to carry out the job for which you are paid to do. I am not aware of any swear word or other derogatory phrase in my current vocabulary which comes close to a description of your 'performance' (and I use that term loosely) this afternoon, but let me just say that you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible.

'In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my one bedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and w***ing furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here.

'I would genuinely like to know how you pathetic little p***flaps sleep at night, knowing full well that you have taken my money and that of several thousand others and delivered precisely <deleted> all in return. I run a business myself, and I believe I could take any 4,000 of my customers at random; burn down their houses, impregnate their wives and then dismember their children before systematically sending them back in the post, limb-by-limb, and still ensure a level of customer satisfaction which exceeds that which I have experienced at Blundell Park at any time so far this season.

'You are a total disgrace, not only to your profession, not only to the human race, but to nature itself. This may sound like an exaggeration, but believe me when I say that I have passed kidney stones which have brought me a greater level of pleasure and entertainment than watching each of you worthless excuses for professional footballers attempt to play a game you are clearly incapable of playing, week-in, week-out.

'I considered, for a second, that I was perhaps being a little too harsh. But then I recalled that I have blindly given you all the benefit of the doubt for too long now. Yes, for too long you have failed to earn the air you've been breathing by offering any kind of tangible quality either as footballers or as people in general. As such, I feel it's only fair that your supply runs out forthwith.

'I trust, at this precise moment in time, that Mr Fenty is in his office tapping away on the Easyjet web site booking you all one-way flights to Zurich, complete with an overnight stay with our cheese eating friends at Dignitas. Don't bother packing your toothbrush - you won't need it.

'In the event that our beloved chairman can't afford the expense (understandable given that he's soon going to have to assemble a new squad from scratch), then I am prepared to sell my family (including my unborn child) to a dubious consortium of Middle Eastern businessmen in order to pay for the flights. Christ, I'll drive you there myself, one-by one, without sleep, if I have to.

'Failing that, understanding that most dubious Middle Eastern businessmen are tied-up purchasing Premier League football clubs, I ask you to please take matters into your hands. Use your imagination, guys - strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery.

'So, in summary, you pack of repugnant, sputum-filled, invertebrate b***ards; leave this club now and don't you f**king dare look back. You've consistently demonstrated less passion and desire than can commonly be found within the contents of a sloth's scrótum, so frankly you can just all <deleted> off - don't pass go, don't collect your wages, don't ever come back to this town again.

'I look forward to you serving me at my local McDonald's drive-thru in the near future.

'Yours sincerely

A very disillusioned Mariner'

Looks like the letter had some effect they picked up a point drawing away at Lincoln, he will need to come up with another inspirational missive before the next game

[chavy]

1-1 away to Middlesborough isn't a bad point to get. I suspect they'll be in the mix come seasons end. Though by all accounts we could & should have nicked it at the end.

[EastSaxCol]

ColU 2 Stockport 0

Couldn't make this one (dicky tum) but first half goals by Lisbie and Platt saw the U's beat first from bottom Stockpot. Although according to the report on the official site the U's second-half showing had a lot to be desired as they failed to push home the advantage and dominate the game.

Nevertheless, back up to third, so still on course ...

[thaimiller]

Adam Le Fondre scored both goals as Rotherham battled their way to a 2-0 victory over Lincoln at Don Valley. That puts us 3rd only a point behind the leaders.

[Xangsamhua]

Rochdale 2 Notts County 1

The reality is sinking in as County realise it's going to be harder than they thought.

Still ... first loss in 10 games (6 of them draws though ). Not too bad.

[mrbojangles]

Adam Le Fondre scored both goals as Rotherham battled their way to a 2-0 victory over Lincoln at Don Valley. That puts us 3rd only a point behind the leaders.

He's done really well for you guys. Rochdale didn't want him to go in the first place but you picked up a good player there. How many goals has he scored this season?

[Moonrakers]

Swindon 2 - 1 Huddersfield

A very good home win against one of the division heavyweights. Charlie Austin Scoring the winner, again.

[EastSaxCol]

Swindon 2 - 1 Huddersfield

A very good home win against one of the division heavyweights. Charlie Austin Scoring the winner, again.

Yes, I think so. Huddersfield are a pretty good side and I personally fancy them for a play-off place. But it's pretty tight at the top and that defeat saw them slip from 3rd on Saturday to 5th last night.

[thaimiller]

Adam Le Fondre scored both goals as Rotherham battled their way to a 2-0 victory over Lincoln at Don Valley. That puts us 3rd only a point behind the leaders.

He's done really well for you guys. Rochdale didn't want him to go in the first place but you picked up a good player there. How many goals has he scored this season?

That puts him on 14 including cup games since we signed him from Rochdale, I don't think we'll be able to keep hold of him in the summer if he carrys on scoring(which I hope he does). Money is still tight and its a shame but I suppose thats how it is in the lower leagues.

[mrbojangles]

Absolutely Thai

Anyway, the Mighty Dale gave another great performance at home last night and beat Notts County 2-1

[Macclad]

Macclesfield had lost on their last 3 away trips to Accrington but managed to avoid disappointment this time around as the game was postponed due to a waterlogged pitch !

[chavy]

Absolutely Thai

Anyway, the Mighty Dale gave another great performance at home last night and beat Notts County 2-1

Another dose of reality for the wheel barrow boys

[thaimiller]

I really hope that they don't go up this year after all the talk about being in the premiership in 5 years etc. I'd take the table as it is now at the end of the season, im sure MrBJ would agree...

[mrbojangles]

I'd take the table as it is now at the end of the season, im sure MrBJ would agree...

Absolutely Thai. I'd give away a kilo of my best Black Pudding, my uncles favourite Ferret AND my Grandad's Flat Cap, to have it the way it is

[LeungKen]

I'd take the table as it is now at the end of the season, im sure MrBJ would agree...

Absolutely Thai. I'd give away a kilo of my best Black Pudding, my uncles favourite Ferret AND my Grandad's Flat Cap, to have it the way it is

Grandad's cap hasn't been off his head since the accident at the pit in the late 30's,

..the Black Pudding has traces of bovine encephalitis,

..and the ferret is gay......

Could you raise the stakes a bit please ? ...........

[mrtoad]

I'd take the table as it is now at the end of the season, im sure MrBJ would agree...

Absolutely Thai. I'd give away a kilo of my best Black Pudding, my uncles favourite Ferret AND my Grandad's Flat Cap, to have it the way it is

Grandad's cap hasn't been off his head since the accident at the pit in the late 30's,

..the Black Pudding has traces of bovine encephalitis,

..and the ferret is gay......

Could you raise the stakes a bit please ? ...........

I'm guessing Ken that he has tried to offload the ferret to you. I don't thinks it's ever been the same after he took his ferret for a walk down to boystown.

[mrbojangles]

I'd take the table as it is now at the end of the season, im sure MrBJ would agree...

Absolutely Thai. I'd give away a kilo of my best Black Pudding, my uncles favourite Ferret AND my Grandad's Flat Cap, to have it the way it is

Grandad's cap hasn't been off his head since the accident at the pit in the late 30's,

..the Black Pudding has traces of bovine encephalitis,

..and the ferret is gay......

Could you raise the stakes a bit please ? ...........

I'm guessing Ken that he has tried to offload the ferret to you. I don't thinks it's ever been the same after he took his ferret for a walk down to boystown.

I've never been to boys town Toady but I'm sure you can show him the way

[mrtoad]

I've never been to boys town Toady but I'm sure you can show him the way

Who? Ken or the ferret??