How Are You When You Are Drunk?

Two responses :

If I drink beer - happy drunk, sing, flirt, get ignored.

With gin - sad drunk

With scotch - aggressive drunk

Rum & coke - singing, chatty drunk.

and

About eleven at night, when popping out the back of the bar to do the necessary, I have often noticed that by the time I return the magic bus has been round, taking away all the miserable old codgers I was drinking with before and leaving a group of vivacious, beautiful, young people with whom I am happy to spend another two hours.

Next morning, when I wake up and go to do the necessary again, i find that the magic taxi comes round, taking away the vivacious, glamorous young lady that I had chatted with the previous evening, leaving instead a crabby old dog that needs a paper bag over her head.

(My two cents' worth)