Been here a few years now, married to a Thai, living outside a city with no expat bubble to fall back on. My Thai is embarrassing. Point at things, smile, hope for the best. I'm done with that.

The problem is every time I try to figure out where to start, I get pulled in different directions. Some people say learn to read first — that the script teaches you the correct tones and stops you developing bad habits from romanised phonetics. Others say just get out there and speak, mistakes and all, and the reading can come later. Both arguments make sense to me.

What I do know: Thai has 5 tones and no real equivalent in European languages, which means the ears need training, not just the mouth. Getting a word right once doesn't mean you've got it — you need to hear yourself get it right consistently.

A few approaches I've seen recommended that seem legitimate: daily vocabulary with phonetic notes in a pocket book (small, consistent, daily), YouTube channels built specifically for teaching foreigners (there are several decent ones), and immersion by deliberately shopping and running errands alone without defaulting to English.

For those who live upcountry or in Isaan specifically — central Thai and spoken Isaan are not the same thing, which adds another layer to this.

So what actually worked for you? Not what you read about, what you actually did and stuck with. Any honest input welcome — including "I gave up and why."

Thanks for any help.

Thais not only listen to you times, they listen to the context and can guess what you mean.

I bought a copy of the Fundamentals of Thai Language, read it, did the tests. Then read it again three times.

A friend said to me, Thai is all around you, on signs, billboards and menus. Try reading as it helps recognize words.

I started learning new words every day. Write them in a notebook. Separate verbs, adj, nouns etc.

Days of the week. Months of the year.

Learn simple sentence structure.

You can pay for online beginner lessons or just watch YouTube videos for free.

My Thai is decent, but I still watch videos every week just to practice.

You have a wife to practice with too.

Learning should just be fun.

Start reading after you've learned many new words. Good luck.

I learned Thai by writing it but I don't think that's really necessary.

My advice: Practice speaking Thai with a Thai person WHO DOES NOT speak English. They are far more accommodating to your leaner status.

You MUST begin with reading Thai Script.

This is the ONLY sure method.

This book combines fundamental vocabulary, elementary grammar, and, ABOVE ALL, it starts at the beginning with learning Thai script.

Then, begin the Thai for Intermediate learners, from the same author, Becker.

If you do not start this way, then you will, Shirley, fail.

Or, if you don't fail, then you will lose focus.

It is only through the learning of Thai script that one can maintain motivation and focus.

ANKI is indispensable for memorizing all things, including Thai vocab, Science terminology, and academic vocabulary.

Anki is Free, as in Free Beer, too.

Listen to ALL Becker's audio files, as well.

These are very well done.

I strongly advise against learning Thai from your GF, as some insist upon doing.

I find having a GF around to be nothing but a distraction and a hinderance to the learning endeavor.

Good Luck.

Thai is easy.

But, Chinese language learning is easier.

Trust Me.

CRUCIALLY: It is most important to STOP TALKING ABOUT learning Thai, and actually DO IT, instead. Talking about learning Thai is what most people do, of course.

8 hours ago, MikeWill said:

Been here a few years now, married to a Thai, living outside a city with no expat bubble to fall back on. My Thai is embarrassing. Point at things, smile, hope for the best. I'm done with that.

The problem is every time I try to figure out where to start, I get pulled in different directions. Some people say learn to read first — that the script teaches you the correct tones and stops you developing bad habits from romanised phonetics. Others say just get out there and speak, mistakes and all, and the reading can come later. Both arguments make sense to me.

What I do know: Thai has 5 tones and no real equivalent in European languages, which means the ears need training, not just the mouth. Getting a word right once doesn't mean you've got it — you need to hear yourself get it right consistently.

As I know nothing about you and how you learn, let me tell you how I did learn Thai, maybe it will be helpful.

I had already been in-country a good while, as you are, and the trigger was the birth of my son and the amazing ablility of babies to learn literally dozens of words a day -- the danger was real that I would be locked out of his conversations with family and friends. So I had a very strong motivation.

I then attacked the issue from two sides: I went to a language school with a very patient teacher, who had to correct my tonal mistakes saying words.

This I did only once a week, for 30 minutes, because all the work around it I did myself: I compiled words from my daily usage from a romanized dictionary (yes, it was a handwritten notebook then!), so I learned words I would likely really use often. Nowadays you can get from the internet finished word lists of the most-used words, etc, and can use an app like Anki to do repetitive learning tasks based on learning success.

Having gained a decent enough vocabulary to hold the most simple conversations with my wife or people out and about ("I want to order a coffee", "where is the toilet", "tirak, your food tastes wonderful"), I used the same language teacher to teach me to read, giving me assignments for home. By then my son was old enough to play around a pool of the local hotel, so I combined his playtime with my learning. It was, essentially, a really pain free process, but a gradual one over several months.

A word about the tones: do not worry about them; with daily usage, you learn to say words "right" even if you are unsure of the exact tone. And as long as you do not need to sell something to a Thai (eg. you want his money), people will understand you from context just fine, even if your pronounciation is abhorrent (like a Scot to an Englishman). Also, my wife loved to correct me when I got it wrong, and joked about it endlessly, so she was happy as can be!

A word about reading: people say, Thai has so many consonants; in truth it is only double as many as the ABC, and many of those are simply doubled up for historical/religious reasons (and there are rules towards how they are handled tonally, but see above). If your target is not writing yourself, but "just" reading, it is really not that much harder than learning the ABC. An adult should be able to memorize the consonants within weeks at most.

Therefore, I also would recommend trying to learn reading as fast as possible, because it really gives you an understanding how a word should sound (there were quite a number of words where I was quite sure how to say them and I was utterly wrong about it, I am convinced, again to the -- more secret -- enjoyment of my wife).

And, as others have said, only with doing you will make progress.

8 hours ago, Purdey said:

Thais not only listen to you times, they listen to the context and can guess what you mean.

I bought a copy of the Fundamentals of Thai Language, read it, did the tests. Then read it again three times.

A friend said to me, Thai is all around you, on signs, billboards and menus. Try reading as it helps recognize words.

For going back 25 years now learning Thai I had a copy of the Fundamentals of the Thai language it does help, but I used it more after learning to speak the basic's and a bit more, as I think the book says You cannot learn Thai by cook and book, cook meaning the person doing the cooking in the house, this book goes back must be 50 years now still relevant, someone on here said a while ago it is available on line.

Why does the Op's wife not help ,one tip: buy a Thia /English, English/Thai dictionary. If you want to know a word, look the English up and get your wife to tell you the Thai, then as said write it down, that will help you remember it.

5 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

If you do not start this way, then you will, Shirley, fail.

Or, if you don't fail, then you will lose focus.

Absolutely not true!

5 hours ago, Gottfrid said:

Absolutely not true!

Please provide your evidence for absolutely refuting my statement....!!!!

I know I am right.

16 hours ago, MikeWill said:

Some people say learn to read first — that the script teaches you the correct tones and stops you developing bad habits from romanised phonetics. Others say just get out there and speak, mistakes and all, and the reading can come later. Both arguments make sense to me.

In my experience and opinion, learning the alphabet by heart is the most difficult, but most rewarding step as everything becomes so much easier after that. Thai is actually a very simple language, from a grammatical viewpoint. No conjugations, connectors, prepositions, plural/singular... The vocabulary and underlying linguistic logic are also incredibly simple.

Another thing I have done for years is strive to learn one thing every day, whether a new word, or a word I already know but practice pronunciation, or an idiomatic formulation etc. You don't notice the difference in the short term, but you do in the long term. I am better now than I was one year ago, and will be better in one year than I am now.

This app is the one I used several years ago for the alphabet, I found it great. It is designed for kids but works very well for an adult:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.megagenius.kengthai&pli=1

18 hours ago, JerryM said:

I learned Thai by writing it but I don't think that's really necessary.

My advice: Practice speaking Thai with a Thai i person WHO DOES NOT speak English. They are far more accommodating to your leaner status.

Utter nonsense. How on earth can you practise if the other person has no command of your own home language to teach you.

How does she communicate with you - sign language? This flies in the face of all teaching protocol.

Has to be one of the worst takes on this forum i've ever read.

31 minutes ago, DonniePeverley said:

Utter nonsense. How on earth can you practise if the other person has no command of your own home language to teach you.

Utter nonsense. How do those English language teachers that don't speak Thai do it. Same in Cambodia.

20 hours ago, Purdey said:

Thais not only listen to you times, they listen to the context and can guess what you mean.

I bought a copy of the Fundamentals of Thai Language, read it, did the tests. Then read it again three times.

A friend said to me, Thai is all around you, on signs, billboards and menus. Try reading as it helps recognize words.

I learnt Thai from this book also. I had a Thai friend read everything for me which I tape recorded to get the correct tones. Then whenever I had 5 minutes , listen and repeat over and over.

I have nor seen this book around recently and they stopped updating it which was a pity as new vocabulary gets into all languages.

It is not essential to learn to read at first but as you progress it becomes clear that it is a no brainer and that being able to read will ne an enormous and indespensable help.

As an aside , many moons ago I was in a DK bookshop in MBK browsing language books when I chanced upon one written by a Colonel in the Thai army. Opening the book to page one there was a hand drawn close up picture of a womans open vagina with all the parts neatly labeled in Thai and English. Page 2 covered the mens ' bits '.

Page 3 then went to simple introductions and all was normal thereafter. I regret not buying that as a novelty item.

4 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Please provide your evidence for absolutely refuting my statement....!!!!

I know I am right.

Oh dear, now it´s evidence talk again! No need, as I know many people, including myself, that has learned Thai in many different ways. They are getting along great, and there is no failure whatsoever. Just because you have a working concept for you, does not mean it´s the only way. Too many of you, know it all, guys here. Break your bubble, get out, smell the air and get some better insight of things.

2 hours ago, DonniePeverley said:

Utter nonsense. How on earth can you practise if the other person has no command of your own home language to teach you.

How does she communicate with you - sign language? This flies in the face of all teaching protocol.

Has to be one of the worst takes on this forum i've ever read.

I used to take lessons from my sons' thai teacher from their school on a Saturday morning. My sons had extra lessons, i had to take them and sit and wait, so my wife arranged some lessons for me.

Teacher couldn't speak English. It meant I had 55 minutes of speaking or trying to speak Thai - no slipping in to English.

In around 10 lessons or so there was only one occasion when we couldn't understand each other. I was trying to explain that I only liked coffee from coffee beans (เมล็ดกาแฟ met karfae) but I was wrongly saying ถั่ว (tua) for beans. Teacher couldn't even guess what I was trying to say. My bilingual sons translated my explanation to the teacher after my lesson was over.

So I disagree with your post.

Age has a lot to do with it. I didn't start learning till I was in my late 60s. I thought since I had learn German and Spanish very quickly that I wouldn't have much trouble with Thai. I was quite mistaken. Now, over 10 years later, I just get by. I have a large Thai vocabulary and can read quite a bit of Thai, but I have trouble forming sentences. I still put in about an hr a day. Learning to read really helps, but when starting, I think learning a few phrases to get you interacting at the store, gas station, and restaurants goes a long way in building your confidence. As far as online courses. They all have their good points and their flaws. YouTube has some good "slow Thai" listening channels.

Others may disagree with every word of my post but this is what has worked for me.

There is a website with free and inexpensive paid memberships that has been helpful to me.
LearnWithOliver dot com

Tons of activities, it took me a while to realize how good it was. Paid membership is like 10 USD a month and includes sound files and I regret not paying for it sooner.

To learn the alphabet, get an English alphabet for Thai speakers kid's book.

I'm talking about the English alphabet book for Thai kids learning English .

Make sure it has the little pictures of animals and common items and Thai transliteration of the English word. You know how to say elephant and you can see how the English sounds would be written using the Thai Characters. Then you know the sounds of the Thai characters, voila!

Tones are less of an issue than you might think. I copy the Thai phrase I am trying to learn into Google translate, listen to Google's pronunciation and then see if I can say it so the app understands me. If the translate app understands me, Thai people usually will as well.

As far as reading and tone marks, much like the International Phonetic Alphabet, not as vital any more because of sound files on phone apps and websites you can just hear the words.

IMHO the time and effort you would spend learning tone rules and consonant classes is better spent learning to say words and phrases so a translation app understands you and then trying it out on Thai people.

Also, with respect to tones, if you learn phrases more than words, tones won't be a problem.

Thai people will know from context if you mean dog or horse, tiger or shirt, or other words that sound close.

Be realistic, over about age 12 years, any language you learn you will have an accent. Also,

leave your pride at home, if someone laughs when you speak it is because it sounds funny, they aren't laughing at you. Also, learn to laugh at your mistakes rather than getting frustrated. If you do this while learning you will also do it while trying to speak to someone and they will be more likely to help you.

Even Thais that speak English well are likely to remember the struggle of learning and will be glad to help you. Those who don't speak English well are going through the same things as you and will understand and usually laugh along with you. Learn the (simple, crude?) translation of this phrase "I try to learn Thai language but what I learn today I forget tomorrow". Almost always gets a big laugh.

"ผม พยายาม เรียน ภาษาไทย.

แต่ วันนี้ เรียน

พรุ่งนี้ ลืม ครับ"

Thai people have repeatedly complimented me on the liberal use of the word Khap at the end of utterances. I highly recommend practicing saying it when you are drilling and then you will say it when you speak. It is called the polite particle, but really if you don't say it your speech is impolite.

Last comments, the book GG recommends is very good, one big reason being the large type face makes the Thai readable.

The publisher of this book Thai for Beginners, by Benjawan Poomsan Becker also has a good dictionary app in the App Store it is "Talking Thai <> English Dictionary" from Paiboon Publishing.

Also, Everyday Thai for Beginners by Wiworn Kesavatana-Dohrs (Author). Note the similar titles, but very different books.

One great thing about this one is the sound files and exercises are in Thai only so you are forced to learn without translating. I still recall the phrase I drilled in this book before I tell the taxi driver where to turn.

This one looks expensive compared to others (38 USD) but it is that much better.

Good luck.

3 hours ago, DonniePeverley said:

Utter nonsense. How on earth can you practise if the other person has no command of your own home language to teach you.

How does she communicate with you - sign language? This flies in the face of all teaching protocol.

Has to be one of the worst takes on this forum i've ever read.

If it worked for him why is it so bad?

Teaching protocol, who cares?

23 hours ago, MikeWill said:

Been here a few years now, married to a Thai, living outside a city with no expat bubble to fall back on. My Thai is embarrassing. Point at things, smile, hope for the best. I'm done with that.

The problem is every time I try to figure out where to start, I get pulled in different directions. Some people say learn to read first — that the script teaches you the correct tones and stops you developing bad habits from romanised phonetics. Others say just get out there and speak, mistakes and all, and the reading can come later. Both arguments make sense to me.

What I do know: Thai has 5 tones and no real equivalent in European languages, which means the ears need training, not just the mouth. Getting a word right once doesn't mean you've got it — you need to hear yourself get it right consistently.

A few approaches I've seen recommended that seem legitimate: daily vocabulary with phonetic notes in a pocket book (small, consistent, daily), YouTube channels built specifically for teaching foreigners (there are several decent ones), and immersion by deliberately shopping and running errands alone without defaulting to English.

For those who live upcountry or in Isaan specifically — central Thai and spoken Isaan are not the same thing, which adds another layer to this.

So what actually worked for you? Not what you read about, what you actually did and stuck with. Any honest input welcome — including "I gave up and why."

Thanks for any help.

I learned Thai from a US govt school in DC 50+ years ago. We were not introduced into the actual Thai characters until at least 6-8 weeks into the school (1 year long). then we began seeing the characters for the beginning conversations we were taught. Tones were very evident too and some people really cannot do tonal languages very easily, like me an American but in the military, i passed an artificial language test and then progressed to an artificial "tonal" language test which I also passed and studied Vietnamese for a year. You are lucky to be here in Thailand and can immerse yourself into the language very easily. There are numerous schools that provide the language acquisition, watching television programs of any type, news is difficult at times but even that can help. I also note that Thai's can usually determine what you mean even if a tone is wrong when you speak it, don't be embarrassed it is just like the writing, Thais can figure out what the meaning is just by looking at tones without the characters, amazing to me anyway at how well they really understand their language. My daughter is fluent in Thai and English from school and my wife and I, plus she loved BTS KPOP (11 years ago songs all in Korean) so at the same time she was studying in school (included Chinese besides Thai and English) she taught herself Korean - easy she said as non-tonal and even the Chinese she said is easy because she speaks Thai and understand the tones. She is now fluent in Korean also (tested on their international test at the highest level) plus she taught in the 11th grade Chinese at another High School. She is currently studying on her own Japanese which she says appears to be fairly easy with her current languages and similar rules. Since I don't hang around with local on a regular basis I find that I have lost some of my fluency as I have studied over 10 languages several to very high levels and I notice occasionally when having a conversation with a Thai, a foreign word will sneak into a sentence - i then notice a strange look on the listener's face and in my mind all the words in the sentence are correct, then I will realize that one word comes from a different language that I have been fairly fluent in also and apologize but the Thai's are very understanding and seem to really appreciate it when a foreigner is trying to converse in Thai . I have never had any Thai complain about my Thai language capability but all have praised it and me for talking to them as once they note that I can speak Thai fairly well they always have questions about my life and where i am from and then questions about my home country. There are also numerous online learning too if you just want to get started and then maybe progress to a school for further use. Best of luck and IMHO any Thai you learn can be useful.

18 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

You MUST begin with reading Thai Script.

This is the ONLY sure method.

This book combines fundamental vocabulary, elementary grammar, and, ABOVE ALL, it starts at the beginning with learning Thai script.

Then, begin the Thai for Intermediate learners, from the same author, Becker.

If you do not start this way, then you will, Shirley, fail.

Or, if you don't fail, then you will lose focus.

It is only through the learning of Thai script that one can maintain motivation and focus.

ANKI is indispensable for memorizing all things, including Thai vocab, Science terminology, and academic vocabulary.

Anki is Free, as in Free Beer, too.

Listen to ALL Becker's audio files, as well.

These are very well done.

I strongly advise against learning Thai from your GF, as some insist upon doing.

I find having a GF around to be nothing but a distraction and a hinderance to the learning endeavor.

Good Luck.

Thai is easy.

But, Chinese language learning is easier.

Trust Me.

CRUCIALLY: It is most important to STOP TALKING ABOUT learning Thai, and actually DO IT, instead. Talking about learning Thai is what most people do, of course.

"CRUCIALLY: It is most important to STOP TALKING ABOUT learning Thai, and actually DO IT, instead. Talking about learning Thai is what most people do, of course."

This is true I think.

Also, you are a grown ass man, try what you want to try, don't need to follow any musts and must nots people give you.

If it worked for someone else it may work for you.

But do something rather than talk about it is very good advice.

18 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

You MUST begin with reading Thai Script.

This is the ONLY sure method.

This book combines fundamental vocabulary, elementary grammar, and, ABOVE ALL, it starts at the beginning with learning Thai script.

Then, begin the Thai for Intermediate learners, from the same author, Becker.

If you do not start this way, then you will, Shirley, fail.

Or, if you don't fail, then you will lose focus.

It is only through the learning of Thai script that one can maintain motivation and focus.

ANKI is indispensable for memorizing all things, including Thai vocab, Science terminology, and academic vocabulary.

Anki is Free, as in Free Beer, too.

Listen to ALL Becker's audio files, as well.

These are very well done.

I strongly advise against learning Thai from your GF, as some insist upon doing.

I find having a GF around to be nothing but a distraction and a hinderance to the learning endeavor.

Good Luck.

Thai is easy.

But, Chinese language learning is easier.

Trust Me.

CRUCIALLY: It is most important to STOP TALKING ABOUT learning Thai, and actually DO IT, instead. Talking about learning Thai is what most people do, of course.

Who is Shirley, and what has she got to do with learning Thai?

People don’t want to hear it, but learning script is key. All the information is there—tones, vowel length, consonant class, tone marks etc. And it does matter getting tones right or you can make yourself sound pretty silly—naughty words can be close to normal words etc. Books not needed since there are some good apps out there. Pocket Thai Master is an excellent introduction and may even be free now. Very straightforward and fast style of learning.

23 hours ago, MikeWill said:

Thai has 5 tones and no real equivalent in European languages

Interesting thread, thanks MikeWill.

I've learnt some Cantonese; each word has a mixture of tones and lengths and it can go badly quickly (9 variations of tones/lengths). For example, the words gas, dog, the number 9 and a slang word for a penis are all the same, just different tones. But like I'm seeing on this thread, the locals are incredibly forgiving for mistakes and normal 'get' the context.

When I moved to Hong Kong I did a course and it quite simply didn't work for me. The teacher was way too interested in teaching phrases, without considering the fact that I had zero chance of understanding the reply. I quit; I had discussed with the teacher and she would not change her style. I looked at other language centres and I couldn't find one that taught in a way that many people of this tread are advocating, so I just stopped, and a little frustrated. I can order lunch ask simple questions and I can understand around 10% of what is said to me, and that is sometimes enough to 'get' the context. For comparison, my French is okay, I can understand 40-70% of speech and I probably know 40% of words/grammar so can normally do a decent job of replying. This is why I can't make progress in Cantonese, I simply don't know enough words.

Last week I downloaded some basic Cantonese and Mandarin lessons, and have started on them. Funnily enough, the style is much more akin to that book by Becker mentioned earlier in the thread, and some of the stuff is more akin to a child's style of learning. Mandarin has 4 tones, so ought to be a bit easier. I'm fairly musical, so recognising the differing tones isn't too difficult for me.

I feel like it can't be emphasized enough.

What worked for others just might work for you.

This thread is a great resource for ideas and thing to try from self-proclaimed non-experts just telling what worked for them.

As far as the self-proclaimed experts who say must do this, must not do that... it ain't necessarily so.

ASEANNow never disappoints.

Regardless of the topic the discussion will always devolve into bickering like a bunch of old ladies.

6 hours ago, DonniePeverley said:

Utter nonsense. How on earth can you practise if the other person has no command of your own home language to teach you.

How does she communicate with you - sign language? This flies in the face of all teaching protocol.

Has to be one of the worst takes on this forum i've ever read.

Never heard of the Berlitz method, eh?

2 hours ago, emptypockets said:

Who is Shirley, and what has she got to do with learning Thai?

Surely you know Shirley ? She worked the lee shore at Shoreham.

I learned years ago with a just a 'rough guide' phrase book, learning 3 words per day, by speaking Thai with my GF + other Thais and watching thai TV. Don't get embarrassed...they appreciate that you are trying.

You will soon pick it up

4 hours ago, daveAustin said:

People don’t want to hear it, but learning script is key. All the information is there—tones, vowel length, consonant class, tone marks etc. And it does matter getting tones right or you can make yourself sound pretty silly—naughty words can be close to normal words etc. Books not needed since there are some good apps out there. Pocket Thai Master is an excellent introduction and may even be free now. Very straightforward and fast style of learning.

Free advice appropriately priced.

Worthless.

"Books not needed" is that your family motto?

I think it would be far more beneficial for the Thai's to learn better english and only hire those with basic english knowledge in shops and services. But with the Ai systems that do direct-translate, there will be no need to learn languages to manage.