Woman asks for money. You go silent.

Ai says

Anger

If you stay silent and her reaction is to get angry, guilt-trip you, or demand an immediate answer, that is a red flag. A partner who respects you will give you the space to consider your own financial security.

She lowers her request

This is a classic demonstration of the "Anchor and Adjust" psychological effect. By not filling the space with an immediate answer or an excuse, you forced her to re-evaluate the "price" she put on her request.

When you remain silent, the other person often interprets that silence as disapproval, hesitation, or a "hard no." To resolve that tension, they will frequently negotiate against themselves to make the request more "palatable" or "reasonable" for you.

When the silence is long enough that the request simply disappears, it reveals a few things about the dynamic:

1. It Was a "Testing of the Waters"

Often, people ask for money not just because they need it, but to see where the boundary is. If your silence signals that the boundary is made of brick, a partner who isn't looking for a conflict will often just withdraw the request rather than risk the tension.

2. The Power of "Holding the Space"

By staying silent, you didn't provide her with any "hooks" to argue against.

• If you said, "I'm broke," she could say, "But you just bought X."

• If you said, "I don't think it's a good idea," she could say, "Why don't you trust me?"

• By saying nothing, you left her with only her own thoughts. Frequently, people realize in that silence that their request was unreasonable or that they’d rather keep the peace than get the cash

Just say "No" ! no silence- no arguing- its dealt with, everyone knows where they stand 🙂

Silence is ignoring the issue not dealing with it.

How about if one just exclude their self from such company, seems much easier than being in a self imposed situation of obligation.

It probably depends on the personality of the woman too. I use silence and it works. I either get a reduced request or it gets dropped. "No" too often becomes negative but if used sparingly could be fine if just "no". Other words will give her a hook to grab onto.

Go to answer is No.

If the requests comes round again.... its time for a pimp slap!

16 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Just say "No" ! no silence- no arguing- its dealt with, everyone knows where they stand 🙂

Silence is ignoring the issue not dealing with it.

Or just pay what they want.

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Or just pay what they want.

You could do that if you don't care about money but it encourages more requests.

3 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

You could do that if you don't care about money but it encourages more requests.

Its same as responding to dumb assed topics from you, get a life rocky boy!

Get on YouTube and look up Hoe Math.

All of your answers are there.

2 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

So you are a woman asking for money and I should have stayed silent 555

Oltranny.

You off with the fairies now, but you stumbled on 2 incorrect answers there rockabilly!

How long are you with this woman? A wife or girlfriend? Has she asked you before? What was the money for before?

Start with a scenario so it's easier to answer.

Red flags do show up early, and the earlier in the relationship, the easier to understand where she's coming from and her motives. Some won't show any for awhile, being good at love bombing, but the mask always comes off eventually.

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

How long are you with this woman? A wife or girlfriend? Has she asked you before? What was the money for before?

Start with a scenario so it's easier to answer.

Red flags do show up early, and the earlier in the relationship, the easier to understand where she's coming from and her motives. Some won't show any for awhile, being good at love bombing, but the mask always comes off eventually.

It's a general topic. Common in Thailand. There are various ways to respond. You can just say no. You can not respond. You can give the money. You can offer an alternative amount.

2 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

It's a general topic. Common in Thailand. There are various ways to respond. You can just say no. You can not respond. You can give the money. You can offer an alternative amount.

Again you have to start somewhere, as you aren't going to be giving money to a new girlfriend right after you meet, unless you're looney, but after a year. or a wife, it's a different scenario.

If your girlfriend of a year asks for some cash, you ask what's it for. Genuine answer would be quick, and if it's the first time, it may be okay if it's for a legitimate purpose. With a wife, you obviously should trust her enough to know it's likely for something needed, although you can still ask, and she should tell you. Why would you stay silent if someone asks for money? If they are close to you, they have a legitimate reason to ask. if not they don't.

12 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

It's a general topic. Common in Thailand. There are various ways to respond. You can just say no. You can not respond. You can give the money. You can offer an alternative amount.

Excuse me but how would you know a general Thailand topic? You dont live here. Then you go on to say how to respond. What was your point in opening this topic?

Edited April 30Apr 30 by marin

12 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Again you have to start somewhere, as you aren't going to be giving money to a new girlfriend right after you meet, unless you're looney, but after a year. or a wife, it's a different scenario.

If your girlfriend of a year asks for some cash, you ask what's it for. Genuine answer would be quick, and if it's the first time, it may be okay if it's for a legitimate purpose. With a wife, you obviously should trust her enough to know it's likely for something needed, although you can still ask, and she should tell you. Why would you stay silent if someone asks for money? If they are close to you, they have a legitimate reason to ask. if not they don't.

I find that silence works best for me. A friend had 2 situations. He was asking his wife to invest joint funds in things. She said no no no. It pissed him off. The second time it was with a girlfriend and he would have arguments with her. Tried to reason with her. It did not work. She keep asking. His version of "no" pissed her off and him off.

So I tried the silent treatment. Found it worked wonders!

But each situation is different but with silence there are no hooks for a woman to attack you with.

1 minute ago, Rockyroad said:

I find that silence works best for me. A friend had 2 situations. He was asking his wife to invest joint funds in things. She said no no no. It pissed him off. The second time it was with a girlfriend and he would have arguments with her. Tried to reason with her. It did not work. She keep asking. His version of "no" pissed her off and him off.

So I tried the silent treatment. Found it worked wonders!

But each situation is different but with silence there are no hooks for a woman to attack you with.

There are times to be silent and times to talk, and most times you talk. If it's a wife, she deserves all options, explaining to her if what the money's for is legitimate. If she's been greedy, you're already in trouble. A team looks at what's best for both. Greed isn't part of a team. Pissing the other half off usually has a bad outcome.

There are many different scenarios that can happen here, and it all depends on how long you've been together and how close.

Silence doesn't do much but create distance, as a woman does not like to be ignored, nor does anyone else. The silent treatment is a weapon some people use to hurt. This is also something where Thailand is different than the west, as money is a bargaining chip here more, even though it's also used everywhere and again, creates distance.

31 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

How long are you with this woman? A wife or girlfriend? Has she asked you before? What was the money for before?

Start with a scenario so it's easier to answer.

Red flags do show up early, and the earlier in the relationship, the easier to understand where she's coming from and her motives. Some won't show any for awhile, being good at love bombing, but the mask always comes off eventually.

Emotional black mail is a common female tactic. Money is just one way they use it. If women didn't have a vagina their bargaining power would be nought. In Thailand there are women everywhere that are horny so their bargaining power is small. White women have more power cause they are mostly frigid.

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

There are times to be silent and times to talk, and most times you talk. If it's a wife, she deserves all options, explaining to her if what the money's for is legitimate. If she's been greedy, you're already in trouble. A team looks at what's best for both. Greed isn't part of a team. Pissing the other half off usually has a bad outcome.

There are many different scenarios that can happen here, and it all depends on how long you've been together and how close.

Silence doesn't do much but create distance, as a woman does not like to be ignored, nor does anyone else. The silent treatment is a weapon some people use to hurt. This is also something where Thailand is different than the west, as money is a bargaining chip here more, even though it's also used everywhere and again, creates distance.

Talking is overrated. If it was so good divorces would be low.

5 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

. In Thailand there are women everywhere that are horny so their bargaining power is small. White women have more power cause they are mostly frigid.

JHC, you have to be kidding me. Got a source for that?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

3 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Emotional black mail is a common female tactic. Money is just one way they use it. If women didn't have a vagina their bargaining power would be nought. In Thailand there are women everywhere that are horny so their bargaining power is small. White women have more power cause they are mostly frigid.

3 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Letting anyone blackmail you is a red flag, and you leave. Sadly, there are sometimes children involved, so they are to be placed where their best interest lies, and a person prone to blackmailing their partner isn't a good place. Decent women negotiate, explaining what the money is for, and if it's legitimate and you can afford it, no problem. I've never met a frigid white woman, as they all were giving if you treated them well. Same with all women, unless money is the priority, where they'll give even if they don't want to.

6 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Talking is overrated. If it was so good divorces would be low.

Couples who communicate well stay together. Keeping things inside is a problem learned in childhood, either from fear or absent parenting. Divorces usually happen when partners don't talk.

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Couples who communicate well stay together. Keeping things inside is a problem learned in childhood, either from fear or absent parenting. Divorces usually happen when partners don't talk.

Divorces happen after lots of arguments. Best way to avoid them is talk less. If your tactic worked you would be married for decades but it does not work.

20 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

I find that silence works best for me. A friend had 2 situations. He was asking his wife to invest joint funds in things. She said no no no. It pissed him off. The second time it was with a girlfriend and he would have arguments with her. Tried to reason with her. It did not work. She keep asking. His version of "no" pissed her off and him off.

So I tried the silent treatment. Found it worked wonders!

But each situation is different but with silence there are no hooks for a woman to attack you with.

If you are 60 and your partner is within 10 years and works with a similar income then do what you will. But if you are 60 and she is significantly younger, doesn't earn much money, maybe takes time off work convenient to your time in Thailand, etc, then don't be a Cheap Charlie or you might be kicked to the curb despite your significant charms and fair enough.

Edited April 30Apr 30 by Fat is a type of crazy

Maybe too you are a 60 year old who doesn't want to get married and can't offer long term security. After a dating period gotta help out.

Red flags in relationships often start when you begin to doubt, or feel that something is wrong. Many people ignore those feelings and start making excuses.

As my old skydiving instructor used to say:

“If you are not sure, you are sure.”

That sentence has saved me many times. Not only in extreme sports, but also in relationships and other parts of life.

When something feels wrong, it is worth paying attention. Your body and mind often register danger before you can explain it clearly.

Still, this does not cure paranoia. Sometimes we learn too much from one bad example or one painful experience. The nervous system remembers, even when the situation in front of us is not the same anymore. That is why instinct is useful, but it also needs to be checked against reality.

And you got those who never learn,,,

2 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Divorces happen after lots of arguments. Best way to avoid them is talk less. If your tactic worked you would be married for decades but it does not work.

Divorces happen when there is no communication. No communication means arguments or keeping things inside, and both don't work. People are married for a long time for many reasons, including those who aren't getting along, especially when children are involved or finances are based mostly on the man.

My last ex rarely talked, even though she did know enough English. This is how she is and has been all her life. This is how she is with her children also. Authoritarian. My first ex was rarely home, preferring her friends and weed to being home with her children, so I took over. We talked, but she was also prone to violence and threats, and in the end, the children ended up with me, and she went with one man after another and is now alone.

Someone who doesn't talk is also prone to explosive behavior when persuaded to talk. Many children are taught to shut up and listen, along with abuse, and will take that into their adult relationships and also be silent. When pushed they'll explode.

If you look at what all the pro counselors and psychologists say, the biggest complaint women have is, " he won't listen, or talk to me". Not picking the right partner in the first place, especially one that isn't a good communicator, is the beginning of the end.

Couples that talk are couples that stay together, as they'll work out all problems, and the only way to work out any problem, whether it's child to parent, husband to wife, boss to employees or country to country, is communication.

Edited April 30Apr 30 by fredwiggy

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

Divorces happen when there is no communication. No communication means arguments or keeping things inside, and both don't work. People are married for a long time for many reasons, including those who aren't getting along, especially when children are involved or finances are based mostly on the man.

My last ex rarely talked, even though she did know enough English. This is how she is and has been all her life. This is how she is with her children also. Authoritarian.

Someone who doesn't talk is also prone to explosive behavior when persuaded to talk. Many children are taught to shut up and listen, along with abuse, and will take that into their adult relationships and also be silent. When pushed they'll explode.

If you look at what all the pro counselors and psychologists say, the biggest complaint women have is, " he won't listen, or talk to me". Not picking the right partner in the first place, especially one that isn't a good communicator, is the beginning of the end.

Couples that talk are couples that stay together, as they'll work out all problems, and the only way to work out any problem, whether it's child to parent, husband to wife, boss to employees or country to country, is communication.

You're the same as my friend. A string of failed relationships and talks too much. Never listens. He does 90% of the talking when I talk to him. It never sinks in that his words make the problem worse.

2 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

You're the same as my friend. A string of failed relationships and talks too much. Never listens. He does 90% of the talking when I talk to him. It never sinks in that his words make the problem worse.

2 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

You have no idea how I am, and always base your theories on me from your own thinking and not what actually happened, as you don't know. Two relationships, marriages, with two women who were damaged from birth isn't a string of failed relationships. The others were either physical mutually or girlfriends who had different future plans than I, which is how most relationships end when both still like each other but aren't suited as a couple long term. That children came from those few relationships means they weren't a failure.

Your friend has nothing to do with me, and what I've said are facts on how people stay together. Thousands of interviews made by professionals of couples and how they relate, and what it took for them to stay together, comes down to one basic fact. Those who communicate well stay together. Try not talking to your partner and see how long she stays, especially when money isn't involved. Thailand has little to do with normal relationships.

7 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Someone who doesn't talk is also prone to explosive behavior when persuaded to talk. Many children are taught to shut up and listen, along with abuse, and will take that into their adult relationships and also be silent. When pushed they'll explode.

Women are moody. Talk when they are happy only. When they are pissed off or asking for money say nothing. Be busy doing something. Women are like dogs. If you keep feeding them your ears they will keep eating them. Only put your ears in the dish at certain times. They will soon learn not to bite them all day long which causes most divorces. A good woman is no different to a well trained dog or horse.

Susan says:

White women have more power cause they are mostly frigid.

I haven’t heard the term frigid in 50 years.

He really is a young(ish) fogey.

Edited April 30Apr 30 by Prubangboy