Why Do Men Die First?

[john b good]

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but this is how it looks to me.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race...you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework... you're a pansy.

If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.

If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay....you should get off your lazy ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you....it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet......it's male indifference.

If you cry......you're a wimp.

If you don't.....you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you..she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.

If she asks you........it's a favour.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a pervert.

If you don't.........you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape........you're sexist.

If you don't........you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape..you're vain.

If you don't........you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers.....you're after something.

If you don't.........you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements..... you're full of yourself.

If you aren't........you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache........she's tired.

If you have a headache..........you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.

If you don't..........there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to.