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THE PROBLEM: Two Videos are for sale - Which to Buy? "Titanic" or

"My Life - The Bill Clinton Movie"

TITANIC VIDEO: $9. 99

CLINTON VIDEO: $9. 99

TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long

CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long

TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and

subsequent catastrophe.

CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and

subsequent catastrophe.

TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist

CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a bullshit artist

TITANIC VIDEO: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar

CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Bill

TITANI! C VIDEO: During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined

CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Monica

TITANIC VIDEO: Jack teaches Rose to spit

CLINTON VIDEO: Let's not go there

TITANIC VIDEO: Rose gets to keep her jewelry

CLINTON VIDEO: Monica is forced to return her gifts

TITANIC VIDEO: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life

CLINTON VIDEO: Clinton doesn't remember Jack

TITANIC VIDEO: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen

CLINTON VIDEO: Monica. . . uh, never mind

TITANIC VIDEO: Jack surrenders to an icy death

CLINTON VIDEO: Bill goes home to Hillary . . . basically the same thing

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