Some Political Jokes

[drummer]

George Bush drew up his Iraq outline.... Then he colored it in.

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While on a state visit to England, George Bush meets the queen and proclaims, “As I’m the president of America, I’m thinking of changing how my great country is referred to. It should be called a kingdom.”

The queen replies, “I’m sorry, Mr. Bush, but to be a kingdom, you have to have a king in charge, and you’re not a king.”

George Bush thinks for a moment and then asks, “How about a principality then?”

The queen replies, “Again, to be a principality, you have to be a prince, and you’re not a prince, Mr. Bush.”

Bush thinks long and hard and comes up with another option. “How about an empire?”

Getting a little annoyed by now, the queen replies, “Sorry again, Mr. Bush, but to be an empire you must have an emperor in charge, and you are not an emperor.”

Before Bush could utter another word, the queen offers solace. “Don’t worry, Mr. Bush, under your leadership, America is perfect as a country.”

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As a squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier.

A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breath. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened.

“Well,” he whispered, “I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, ‘Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash!’”

“He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, ‘George W. Bush is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash too!’”

“We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us.”

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President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approaching him.

"What is it?" sighs the president.

"It’s this Abortion Bill. What do you want to do about it?" the aide asks.

"Go ahead and pay it," says the president.

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George Bush trips and falls over a bridge railing while jogging one morning. Before the Secret Service guys can get to him, three kids who are fishing pull him out of the water below. He’s so grateful, he offers the kids whatever they want.

The first kid shouts, “I want to go to Disneyland with my friends!” and George replies, “No problem. I’ll take you on Air Force One.”

The second kid says, “I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordans,” to which George says, “I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!”

The third kid says, “I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!”

Bush, looking perplexed, utters: “But, son, you don’t look like you’re handicapped.”

The kid answers, “I will be once my dad finds out I saved your sorry ass from drowning.”

[ThaiPauly]

LOVED the last one