isabelle17 Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Yes, perhaps a little more. But not by much, just to clarify. Is it such a surprise that I might say that...? I dont disagree with everything you say....just most of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamianMavis Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Well, in Canada I didnt have ANY friends that cheated, in Thailand I dont have any friends that DON'T. But I guess I just have bad friends. Damian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isabelle17 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Well, in Canada I didnt have ANY friends that cheated, in Thailand I dont have any friends that DON'T. But I guess I just have bad friends.Damian okay.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mssabai Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 My views on infidelity? Actually, I do know that there are some big differences in regards to infidelity, relationships, etc in Thailand and more western countries. I was just simply stating, as Boo stated, is that not everyone is raised the same way in once society. I mean in general, yes, but when it comes to obtaining morals, values, etc, it really depends on how they're parents raise them. (at least thats my personal opinion.) On "It does pay not to assume that your relationship will be exactly the same as it would if you were dating a fellow american" comment. I thought this thread was about the OP and not about me....and "thanks" for the advice, but honestly, I will handle my own personal affairs myself... I just dont see what the point is in arguing about this because its clear that some of us will refuse to change our views. I for one, wont as well. And to be clear: I am NOT saying that thai culture is not different from for example, american culture. I am not saying that they look at infidelity differently. I am saying that to assume all Thai men cheat is ridiculous. yes, some thai men do cheat, possibly a little more than in america/europe. But really, cheating is a..."personal" thing. I know that if my friends were cheating, I would not cheat just because they did. I know that even if I was raised in a culture where cheating is more acceptable, I still wouldnt accept if for myself. Culture does play a part in how you view the world, but it is not the total deciding factor. Sorry for the unwanted "advice". You'll find though that if you bring your personal life onto this forum Isabelle, people will comment on it - especially if it's within such a contentious issue. If you don't want them to comment on it, don't bring it in. I learnt that lesson a little while back . Yes of course everyone has differing views, but that's why we are having a debate. If you keep responding with your views, then others will with theirs - it's the nature of us humans to debate. That's why we have parliaments, public forums, meetings etc - because to come to an informed opinion it is best to hear all sides of the argument. I certainly find it really good hearing people such as Boo and SBK's arguments as I feel I often only hear the "all Thai men are evil, lying, woman beating, cheating b*stards" from people - which I know is not true. I am sure that your man is a good one if you feel so strongly that he is - so good luck with everything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarqin Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Well with all the bitchslapping going on here the chance for some important advise to the OP is being missed. The boyfriend if anything has been pretty honorable here. He's paid the rent for January so presumably Chinagirl has a place to go back to and her possessions have not been thrown in the street by the landlord, which to my devious mind would indicate he's leaving himself a way back if he needs it BUT the boyfriend is not the problem here the new Thai girlfriend is. My 2 satang's worth: Best not to return to Chang Mai or leave fairly quickly on your return. This is a volatile situation. IF you stay you must under no circumstances have anything to do with the old boyfriend when he comes around sniffing for money, and I will bet my life he will do so fairly quickly upon your return. If the new Thai girlfriend even thinks your a threat to her relationship you could end up real injured real quick. Have absolutely nothing to do with him again AND watch your personal security for the next six months and you may live through this but really my best advice is move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fletchsmile Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 (edited) They cheat "a little" more eh? hokay.....Damian Yes, perhaps a little more.But not by much, just to clarify. Is it such a surprise that I might say that...? I dont disagree with everything you say....just most of it. Cultural points: Are you sure it's only a little? Are you sure it's even regarded as cheating in the same way, particularly if not seen? eg Recall in Thailand how often the person or act of pointing out a misdeed, can actually be deemed worse than the misdeed in the first place eg Many older Thais talk of the infux of "free sex" from western society, yet turn a blind eye to "paid sex". eg Group social outings of work colleagues visiting "massages". Not my scene at all that one. Let's just say I've had invites in Thailand but never been invited in the UK. eg Western expat guys that would never dream of cheating on their wife or girlfriend, and somehow in Thailand...I can't recall having met many people in the UK that lose the plot this way Well, in Canada I didnt have ANY friends that cheated, in Thailand I dont have any friends that DON'T. But I guess I just have bad friends.Damian Another hit... another nail... another head. I wouldn't go quite that far, but there's a lot in what you say. As for the OP, I'd say the debate on "cheating", is very relevant to relationships in Thailand, and the opening story. Edited January 22, 2008 by fletchsmile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isabelle17 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 My views on infidelity? Actually, I do know that there are some big differences in regards to infidelity, relationships, etc in Thailand and more western countries. I was just simply stating, as Boo stated, is that not everyone is raised the same way in once society. I mean in general, yes, but when it comes to obtaining morals, values, etc, it really depends on how they're parents raise them. (at least thats my personal opinion.) On "It does pay not to assume that your relationship will be exactly the same as it would if you were dating a fellow american" comment. I thought this thread was about the OP and not about me....and "thanks" for the advice, but honestly, I will handle my own personal affairs myself... I just dont see what the point is in arguing about this because its clear that some of us will refuse to change our views. I for one, wont as well. And to be clear: I am NOT saying that thai culture is not different from for example, american culture. I am not saying that they look at infidelity differently. I am saying that to assume all Thai men cheat is ridiculous. yes, some thai men do cheat, possibly a little more than in america/europe. But really, cheating is a..."personal" thing. I know that if my friends were cheating, I would not cheat just because they did. I know that even if I was raised in a culture where cheating is more acceptable, I still wouldnt accept if for myself. Culture does play a part in how you view the world, but it is not the total deciding factor. Sorry for the unwanted "advice". You'll find though that if you bring your personal life onto this forum Isabelle, people will comment on it - especially if it's within such a contentious issue. If you don't want them to comment on it, don't bring it in. I learnt that lesson a little while back . Yes of course everyone has differing views, but that's why we are having a debate. If you keep responding with your views, then others will with theirs - it's the nature of us humans to debate. That's why we have parliaments, public forums, meetings etc - because to come to an informed opinion it is best to hear all sides of the argument. I certainly find it really good hearing people such as Boo and SBK's arguments as I feel I often only hear the "all Thai men are evil, lying, woman beating, cheating b*stards" from people - which I know is not true. I am sure that your man is a good one if you feel so strongly that he is - so good luck with everything! yes, i did learn that lesson. Def. not ever bringing my personal life onto this forum ever again, even though this topic is supposed to be about the OP.... What do you want me to do? Sit on the sidelines and watch? I actually am probably going to do that now, as I am seriously tired of talking about this specific topic. By the way, thanks! I think he is a very good guy, and I guess thats one reason why its frusterating to listen to people who just assume that all thai men are womanzing cheaters. I think we should just focus on trying to help out the OP in her situation (though I dont know where she went!) And thats why I am done talking about this because I want to move on already! So go right ahead if you want to argue about this some more, but I am probably not going to be involved anymore! Have fun.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khundon Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 sory to hear that remember the golden rules next time 1.have a bank account in your name only and only use card to withdraw money and dont let ANYONE have the pin# even if he sleeps with you. 2. Set up direct debits to pay rent, etc 3. You are a cash machine to guys. When they get Farang Girl/Boyfriend this it what they think Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding. JACKPOT. So by all means fall in love/sleep with them etc. but never give them control over your money or home. Better luck next time. Khundon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seonai Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 What a lot of nonsense :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girlx Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 (edited) By the way, thanks! I think he is a very good guy, and I guess thats one reason why its frusterating to listen to people who just assume that all thai men are womanzing cheaters. For what it's worth (also sick of this topic), I will say again... just because I am saying most if not all Thai men cheat, that does not make them "bad". That is our viewpoint as westerners who were raised differently. "all Thai men are evil, lying, woman beating, cheating b*stards" that is certainly not what I am saying at all. Edited January 24, 2008 by girlx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madjbs Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 (edited) I am saying most if not all Thai men cheat, "all Thai men are evil, lying, woman beating, cheating b*stards" that is certainly not what I am saying at all. hmmmmm Edited January 24, 2008 by madjbs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mssabai Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 "all Thai men are evil, lying, woman beating, cheating b*stards" that is certainly not what I am saying at all. Nope I know you aren't, but many people do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now