Thai Boyfriend Stole My Money

[mssabai]

whats wrong with a guy falling for a penniless thai girl? she may offer him true love,

the non thai girl should know you cant buy thai boys, they not after money...............lol, like many thai girls are.

I think that generalizations go both ways - there are definitely Thai boys that can be bought (as this thread is proving), just as there are Thai girls that can be. But like most bad elements of society they are in the minority, and the same kind of person is found in every country.

[blizzard]

i always like to giveadvice when one is supicious wot they got is a real partner. tell the thai gurl or boy you havung financial difficulties and the moeny will cease flowing freely and that they will have to get a job. what they do will give you the answer you dont want to hear.

people always say it aint about the money. the one saying this usually has money. for the one that doesnt have money it is in many cases about the money.

[sbk]

Absolutely spot on there blizzard. My husband comes from a very well-to-do family while my family is not quite so asset rich in the US. I absolutely married my husband for his money and his status. I mean, why wouldn't I give up my home and my family and move halfway across the world if it wasn't just about his money?

... and yes, that was sarcasm there folks.

[blizzard]

we talking about thais that dont have money. at least i am. thais r ez to figgure out..............lol.

Edited January 14, 2008 by blizzard

[sbk]

Well, then it proves to be a grossly inaccurate generalization if you consider vegas' sister's Thai boyfriend who wasn't, apparently, interested in what material wealth vegas' sister brought to the relationship. So, no I think you are wrong that Thais are out for the money. Some Thai people certainly, but not all.

So, on second thought, let me add a bit to this post. I think the reason so many foreigners only see the Thais who are out for the money is because normal Thai people, who are not interested in what they can get out of the farang, generally do not seek out friendships with foreigners. Not always true, of course, but in general, yes.

[blizzard]

who is vegas? do we have to put in every post that most of us generalize when responding? i see 19 yr old issarn girl on arm of 70 yr old farang, i know what they up too. do i need to state not all 19 yr old with 70 yr man are what we all think, just most.

i also think non money grubbing thais dont interact with farangs. there is no good reason too. OF COURSE THERE ARE MANY MANY EXCEPTIONS! A LOT OF FARANGS R UP TOO NO GOOD. OF COURSE THERE ARE MANY MANY EXCEPTIONS.

[sbk]

who is vegas? Sorry, I thought you had read the entire thread. vegas post is here

do we have to put in every post that most of us generalize when responding? i see 19 yr old issarn girl on arm of 70 yr old farang, i know what they up too. do i need to state not all 19 yr old with 70 yr man are what we all think, just most.

i also think non money grubbing thais dont interact with farangs. there is no good reason too. OF COURSE THERE ARE MANY MANY EXCEPTIONS! A LOT OF FARANGS R UP TOO NO GOOD. OF COURSE THERE ARE MANY MANY EXCEPTIONS.

OK, just wanted to be clear because when you state "Thais are..." it certainly seems as if you are stating they are all that way. Iinstead you seem to expect me to assume that you realize that there are exceptions. I like clarity

[LoveDaBlues]

I'm quite sure Donald Trump got his current wife because of his fantastic hair. Money had nothing to do with it. It amazes me ppl think only Thai gals are gold diggers!

[blizzard]

i dont know the donald personally, but i do think he understands the game.

people who post here with all these stories about how they pay for things and then wonder wot happened seem to be a bit naieve, to put it kindly.

[vegas]

Well, then it proves to be a grossly inaccurate generalization if you consider vegas' sister's Thai boyfriend who wasn't, apparently, interested in what material wealth vegas' sister brought to the relationship. So, no I think you are wrong that Thais are out for the money. Some Thai people certainly, but not all.

So, on second thought, let me add a bit to this post. I think the reason so many foreigners only see the Thais who are out for the money is because normal Thai people, who are not interested in what they can get out of the farang, generally do not seek out friendships with foreigners. Not always true, of course, but in general, yes.

Actually the guy liked the idea of getting out of his penniless existence and moving somewhere where he could make a decent salary (he was an electrician) but he couldn't either trust my sister or wait for her. He was also seeing hookers on the side (his rich mate was shouting) so he was just a hopeless case. Racist? I don't think so. I think it is fact. Thais rich or poor live for the day in general. Particularly when it comes to money.

[blizzard]

fascinating.

mr vegas what did your sister see in a hopeless thai guy, man i just dont see the foreign perspective in dealing with poor thais, no offese intended to poor thais.

[billp]

i see 19 yr old issarn girl on arm of 70 yr old farang, i know what they up too

Really? Maybe you're seeing a man out with his daughter (or grand-daughter). How do you know? Why should you care? I recall a posting here some time ago from a guy who had married a Thai woman and adopted her little daughter. Now the girl's grown into a comely teenager and he's ashamed to walk on the street with her because of the looks he gets from other farang.

[blizzard]

you are exactly what we were discussing earlier.......lol

there r always exceptions. i cannot post to cover every situation.

genereally speaking most 70 yr old with 19 yr old girl on arm is not a family thinggy.

why does the guy worry what others think? why do you care what i think? you are funny sir.

some people need to aquire common sense in order to enjoy forums, if not they seem a bit nutty.

ex . a guy posts girls in white blouses with tight fitting skirts are uni gals. someone will say he saw one in white blouse with tight fitting skirt who was not a uni gal. SO what.......................lol/

Edited January 15, 2008 by blizzard

[blizzard]

or if someone posts isnt it horrible how thai women pick their schnoozes in public. my common sense would kick in and assume poster didnt mean all thai girls pick in public........lol.

[girlx]

agree to an extent... not many things you can talk about when examining a different culture without using generalizations.... it is also generally accepted that there are exceptions to generalizations.

i agree that a lot of thais who work around foreigners learn quickly how thoughtlessly said foreigners drop cash around (the fact that they have saved up to go on holiday doesn't really enter their heads) and thereafter look at farangs for their monetary value ($$$) more than anything else. this is why so many men get screwed (both literally and figuratively) by bar girls, and women by beach/bar boys. and yes, that is often why you see very young thai girls on the arms of much older foreign men, in most cases it is because of their money.

thais outside of the tourist industry seem more happy with their "thai life", and often don't associate with foreigners much at all.

[Goinghomesoon]

Catching up reading. Really interested to see how people assume a non working guy must have been a bar boy and make moral judgements about having a 'kept man'. Can't wait to explain to my newly unemployed 35 year old chubby & balding guy that he is now the equivalent of a male hooker, tee hee hee.

[sbk]

Whats even funnier is nowhere did the OP state he was not working, or that he was a bar boy or even that he was a kept man. Just that she paid the rent and gave him money to pay the rent when she wasn't there. Oh, she did buy him clothes and a motorbike, but every woman buys her man clothes. As for the gift of the motorbike, I don't see how that makes him a kept man either

[siamesekitty]

my thoughts as well..

A man doesn't have to be unemployed to have financial troubles. I know of several fully employed Thai men who have trouble making ends meet and have huge credit card debts.

[fletchsmile]

Catching up reading. Really interested to see how people assume a non working guy must have been a bar boy and make moral judgements about having a 'kept man'. Can't wait to explain to my newly unemployed 35 year old chubby & balding guy that he is now the equivalent of a male hooker, tee hee hee.

Whats even funnier is nowhere did the OP state he was not working, or that he was a bar boy or even that he was a kept man. Just that she paid the rent and gave him money to pay the rent when she wasn't there. Oh, she did buy him clothes and a motorbike, but every woman buys her man clothes. As for the gift of the motorbike, I don't see how that makes him a kept man either

I don't particularly want to pass judgement on the situation, so won't. But come on ladies, you both come across as a little biased in trying to deny the obvious if you're saying he isn't a kept man. Let's re-read a few of those "just that..." quotes:

"I generally leave 2 months of rent money plus a bit extra for boyfriend"

"driving around in the nice moto-cross bike that I had bought him.."

"wearing the nice clothes that I had bought"

"sleeping in my bed with another girl" (most people would say "our bed")

"spending my money and living it up" (not "our money")

"...he had already spent the remaining 12,000B in the bank".

"... it was hitting him that he had little possessions left"

Forgive me if I missed it, but I didn't see a single reference to the guy contributing anything financially. Only that he had received a lot of gifts, spends her money, and had emptied all that was in the bank account.

BTW I happen to think this post is a troll. I can never understand trolls tho', and it does regardless raise a few interesting points, and general responses.

True or not, the lady in the OP got taken for a ride by a kept guy. The message being it happens to ladies as well as guys. Whether a real post or not I don't know, but it happens. It's unfortunate for those who are taken advantage of (male or female) as they are often just nice people.

[blizzard]

i forgive you fletch!

maybe its just me. but if i wanted a partner in a distant land i would look for one that at least looks like they have money to support themselves............lol.

Edited January 17, 2008 by blizzard

[sbk]

Always two sides to every story fletch. All we hear is the OP's. And lets face it, a woman scorned isn't about to go on and post something nice about her ex, is she? I take everything I read with a very large grain of salt. ... (unless, of course, I know the actual story first hand)

[kat]

This whole topic seems trollish to me ...

Edited January 17, 2008 by kat

[fletchsmile]

Always two sides to every story fletch. All we hear is the OP's. And lets face it, a woman scorned isn't about to go on and post something nice about her ex, is she? I take everything I read with a very large grain of salt. ... (unless, of course, I know the actual story first hand)

Indeed always (at least) two sides/ perspectives.

One of the ways it continues to go wrong though, for both the guys and girls in these relationships is they find ways to explain how there could be another reason or an exception to the general picture. Given most things in life are possible, no matter how remote, they just keep looking for exceptions rather than the rule. Key is stepping back and seeing the overall picture.

I think even a woman scorned would be referring to "our money", "our possessions", etc if he was contributing to anything. Whether it's true or not: The general message she is conveying and wants to convey is that "financially I took care of things". She has pointed out redeeming featues/positives on most other points, which makes the lack of any mention of him contributing anything financially conspicuous by its absence.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong but I'd say it was 99% probability that in this story the guy was to all intents and purposes a kept man, where the lady paid the lion's share if not everything.

Edited January 17, 2008 by fletchsmile

[sweetchariot]

Hmm...well, so are you saying that every girl who goes away from her boyfriend for a a month or so should immediatly become suspicious and assume that he is cheating?

YES. Boys will be boys.

My Thai husband always gives me all the money from our small business and even when I am in Uk he sends me money

Sending money to keep you sweet darling, pound to a penny he has a bit on the side whilst you are away.

i always like to giveadvice when one is supicious wot they got is a real partner. tell the thai gurl or boy you havung financial difficulties and the moeny will cease flowing freely and that they will have to get a job. what they do will give you the answer you dont want to hear.

people always say it aint about the money. the one saying this usually has money. for the one that doesnt have money it is in many cases about the money.

Apologies for the above, I couldn't resist.

Blizzard has a good point here. I am 35 yo and have lived here for nearly 2 years. I met my g/f about 18 mnths ago and she has been well provided for. She does not work, and I do not want her to. I would rather have her company for 24 hrs a day, than she work for 10 hrs a day for peanuts. I have never left her alone in that time btw.

Then came the time that I ran out of ready cash and had to free up some assets in the UK (property, long term investments). I explained this to her, and told her I was skint. Then her savings account materialised, and over the 2 months I was penniless borrowed her entire savings (200k). She had not a scrap of evidence of my assets in the UK, but freely gave all that she had, and had saved for years to build. This has now been replaced btw.

I have never had a g/f in the UK offer her life savings in times of need, and whilst I was a bit suspicious of her at first (reading all the doom-mongerers on here), I now trust her more than any woman I have ever met.

I did not do this as a test, I genuinely mis-calculated how much physical cash I needed to bring with me. Next time I will pre-empt before I am skint, but I reckon that this would be a good way to check out the intentions of any g/f, b/f that you have been with for a while, and are thinking about further commitment.

[fletchsmile]

Apologies for the above, I couldn't resist.

Blizzard has a good point here. I am 35 yo and have lived here for nearly 2 years. I met my g/f about 18 mnths ago and she has been well provided for. She does not work, and I do not want her to. I would rather have her company for 24 hrs a day, than she work for 10 hrs a day for peanuts. I have never left her alone in that time btw.

Then came the time that I ran out of ready cash and had to free up some assets in the UK (property, long term investments). I explained this to her, and told her I was skint. Then her savings account materialised, and over the 2 months I was penniless borrowed her entire savings (200k). She had not a scrap of evidence of my assets in the UK, but freely gave all that she had, and had saved for years to build. This has now been replaced btw.

I have never had a g/f in the UK offer her life savings in times of need, and whilst I was a bit suspicious of her at first (reading all the doom-mongerers on here), I now trust her more than any woman I have ever met.

I did not do this as a test, I genuinely mis-calculated how much physical cash I needed to bring with me. Next time I will pre-empt before I am skint, but I reckon that this would be a good way to check out the intentions of any g/f, b/f that you have been with for a while, and are thinking about further commitment.

...over the 2 months I was penniless borrowed her entire savings (200k)...

Are you sure the 200k wasn't just what she had saved from you over the years?

...She had not a scrap of evidence of my assets in the UK, but freely gave all that she had...

Could it be that in the same way you also had not a scrap of evidence of all her assets in Thailand... and there was more?

Perhaps try it again just to make sure. Next time see what happens when she has given you "all" her savings. Hold out for a bit longer with no food on the table and see what happens. She could just be a skilled poker player

[fletchsmile]

Apologies for the above, I couldn't resist.

Perhaps it's contagious

To be honest nice to hear this sort of story for a change. Has happened to me on a couple of occasions that Thais have offered support when they thought I was short. I've rarely, if ever, taken them up on it, as like yourself have generally had assets elsewhere outside of Thailand. In fact the only person I've really taken up on that score is my wife, but much smaller sums than you, so that doesn't really count, as it's "ours" anyway regardless of technical name.

I also particularly liked it when we were dating, and she would insist on paying sometimes. I paid 90%+ of the time, but the odd gesture was always nice. These days most of it comes from pooled money anyway, so that little pleasure has gone - luckily there are others tho'

[DamianMavis]

Hmm...well, so are you saying that every girl who goes away from her boyfriend for a a month or so should immediatly become suspicious and assume that he is cheating? Sorry, but I have to disagree with that point. I have been away from my Thai boyfriend for a few months now...and as far as I know he's not cheating. Of course, I trust him. Trust is important in any "good" relationship. Anyway, I doubt a male chastity belt would have done much good in that case! He at least would have still spent the money. Personally, my advice..which is something I do...keep the money to YOURSELF. Unless your married to the guy, dont give him money (unless its like a measly 20 baht for dinner or something, haha...)

You go away for MONTHS and really believe he innocently waits for you and only masturbates to keep himself satisfied in a country with an abundance of women and easier access to sex? Hmmmm..... Sorry for being a jerk but I truly believe you are going to get a big shock one day. Going away for a few weeks is acceptable, a few months is a ridiculous request of abstinance.

The op is probably a troll, but to me if you treat someone like a whore they will act like one. I have never given ANYTHING to any Thai girlfriend (in my past). Maybe he did have a job, but I sincerely doubt it, this was a kept man and she encouraged his behaviour by giving him things in exchange for his love (if he's unemployed than his sole source of income was her and he worked his "job" to keep the money flowing), this is exactly the same mistake countless men make here.

Damian

[girlx]

You go away for MONTHS and really believe he innocently waits for you and only masturbates to keep himself satisfied

totally agreed... especially if he is thai- not only because of the rampant thai male promiscuity, but because they have no guarantee that you will come back from farangland, and thus feel they have nothing to lose.

if you treat someone like a whore they will act like one

very good point, damien i almost always agree with your posts! also i have realized that one mistake i made in the past with a thai boyfriend was to invite him to live with me and share my "farang" life... i believe ms sabai pointed out earlier that the difficulty in this arises when the boy realizes he is not all that into the relationshp, but he will stay because of the many benefits of living like a farang. it is very difficult to expose a thai person of low economic status to the foreign way of living, and then expect them to go back to thai life when the relationship is over. in the future, i will make an effort to date people who are as well off as i am, or if i date someone who does not have much money, i will keep that separation between his life and mine.

[blizzard]

girl you sound like such a nice person.

why dont you just stay away from all poor thai boys! middle class and hi so thai girls dont want them.

[mssabai]

girl you sound like such a nice person.

why dont you just stay away from all poor thai boys! middle class and hi so thai girls dont want them.

Middle class and hi-so thai girls also have a reputation for being stuck up, snobbish, intensly materialistic and I am not too sure that I would want to aspire to be like that by hand picking the people that I date according to their bank balance. (of course there are massive exceptions to this rule but generally these exceptions also wouldn't be ruled by the power of the baht). I will also go out on a limb and say that the Thai male reputation for promiscuity stretches across the whole economic scale. The hi-so boys I know are generally no better (or worse) than those Thai boys I know who earn 7k baht a month when it comes to playing away from home. OK, so he may not leach off you, but that won't stop him going to the massage shops after a night on the town with the boys - a very popular past time for hi-so boys who have the cash to burn.

Unfortunately the social and economic hierachies in Thailand is one of the things that I dislike most. In England apart from isolated cases, (or in the cases of the very rich) money, or more precisely someone's economic status, rarely comes into the equation when you are talking about love. More important is are they a decent, hard working person who is compatible with you. You can only tell that by giving a relationship time to grow and not prostating yourself emotionally or financially so you know that the relationship has genuine foundations. Same thing should go for relationships here.