Sin Sod Part Deuce :-)

[soi lurker]

Sin sod bring her back to farangland then tell her its tradition that the brides family pay for the ceremony - just another pattaya story really

Soi lurker

I know this is off topic, but I think your avatar is sick .

sometimes people should keep their opinions to themselves, this is one of those times

[Westerner]

Sin sod bring her back to farangland then tell her its tradition that the brides family pay for the ceremony - just another pattaya story really

Soi lurker

I know this is off topic, but I think your avatar is sick .

sometimes people should keep their opinions to themselves, this is one of those times

Definition of forum - A medium in which the public may debate an issue or express an opinion

[chicowoodduck]

My last posted thread concerning my Sin Sod saga went like this.........

I was informed today that for the most part the guest would not be giving anything to us, but rather we should be treating them? Also, when I questioned my GF about the return of the Sin Sot, she said that anything returned would be used for the honeymoon and such. As for the ring thing, she asked and received an engagement ring and a wedding ring and also said she needs to get some "gold?" My response was "Are we getting close to the end of all the things you need?" Her response? "That's the Thai tradition." Actually, it was A LOT more than that, but since I don't speak Thai, just suffice to say I got an ear full!

Yesterday it went from bad to worse, if that's possible, and I reached the "tipping point."

It seems as though the closer the wedding date became, the more the Sin Sod request increased (1 million to maybe over two?). The local monk jumped in with his request for 30,000 THB, the Pattaya apartment needed a new AC unit (28,000 THB), some more gold had to be purchased, etc., etc. When I said the money train was at an end, my GF stormed off and sent me a text message saying that it was too much drama and that I should not have lead her on? I just said fine, just return the wedding ring and keep everything else. She said that I get NOTHING back and that I wasn't getting <deleted>**ed for free. Yikes! Wake-up call down on Soi Bua Khoa for the big boy! I was out of our apartment and checked into a new place before 7 AM this morning.

With all that said, I'd just like to warn other potential "Farang Sin Sod ATM Machines" to take it slow and hang onto your dough! Thank goodness I'm not out my life savings, but I'm certainly a bit more dubious of that lovely Thai smile and the "It's up to you" mentality. When left up to me, I was always informed that that's not what they want to hear.

Life goes on........

Good that you saw the light, Sin Sod has its place in Thailand but not between a Falang and a (bar girl) ? sorry if i'm wrong there ! Its an old tradition the highest sums paid for and to a NEW girl and its down in value from there, good job you didnt spend the 1millon baht on 30 Buffalo. A handfull in Patters

Just an FYI - my now "ex" was/is the owner of two bars, a tattoo shop, a three story building with attached restaurant, and an internet shop in and around the Pattya City area. If anyone called her a "bar girl" she popped a cork! As for the 1-2 million baht Sin Sod, she said because of her upbringing and "status" in her hometown (Udon) that was the going rate? Status or not, I'm not about to change my name from Billy to Silly. To me, 2 million baht can buy alot of other things to be happy with besides "status!"

[jaiyenyen]

No offence, and just a thought, but I wonder whwere she got the money for all those businesses.

Maybe just something to ponder.

[chicowoodduck]

With all that said, I'd just like to warn other potential "Farang Sin Sod ATM Machines" to take it slow and hang onto your dough! Thank goodness I'm not out my life savings, but I'm certainly a bit more dubious of that lovely Thai smile and the "It's up to you" mentality. When left up to me, I was always informed that that's not what they want to hear.

Life goes on........

Unbelievable - you meet a girl in Pattaya and trusted her!

Well, she wasn't trying to sell me the Brooklyn Bridge at the time.

How long had you know her before arranging mariage?

One year, but who is to say how much time is adequate?

[Heng]

My last posted thread concerning my Sin Sod saga went like this.........

I was informed today that for the most part the guest would not be giving anything to us, but rather we should be treating them? Also, when I questioned my GF about the return of the Sin Sot, she said that anything returned would be used for the honeymoon and such. As for the ring thing, she asked and received an engagement ring and a wedding ring and also said she needs to get some "gold?" My response was "Are we getting close to the end of all the things you need?" Her response? "That's the Thai tradition." Actually, it was A LOT more than that, but since I don't speak Thai, just suffice to say I got an ear full!

Yesterday it went from bad to worse, if that's possible, and I reached the "tipping point."

It seems as though the closer the wedding date became, the more the Sin Sod request increased (1 million to maybe over two?). The local monk jumped in with his request for 30,000 THB, the Pattaya apartment needed a new AC unit (28,000 THB), some more gold had to be purchased, etc., etc. When I said the money train was at an end, my GF stormed off and sent me a text message saying that it was too much drama and that I should not have lead her on? I just said fine, just return the wedding ring and keep everything else. She said that I get NOTHING back and that I wasn't getting <deleted>**ed for free. Yikes! Wake-up call down on Soi Bua Khoa for the big boy! I was out of our apartment and checked into a new place before 7 AM this morning.

With all that said, I'd just like to warn other potential "Farang Sin Sod ATM Machines" to take it slow and hang onto your dough! Thank goodness I'm not out my life savings, but I'm certainly a bit more dubious of that lovely Thai smile and the "It's up to you" mentality. When left up to me, I was always informed that that's not what they want to hear.

Life goes on........

Good that you saw the light, Sin Sod has its place in Thailand but not between a Falang and a (bar girl) ? sorry if i'm wrong there ! Its an old tradition the highest sums paid for and to a NEW girl and its down in value from there, good job you didnt spend the 1millon baht on 30 Buffalo. A handfull in Patters

Just an FYI - my now "ex" was/is the owner of two bars, a tattoo shop, a three story building with attached restaurant, and an internet shop in and around the Pattya City area. If anyone called her a "bar girl" she popped a cork! As for the 1-2 million baht Sin Sod, she said because of her upbringing and "status" in her hometown (Udon) that was the going rate? Status or not, I'm not about to change my name from Billy to Silly. To me, 2 million baht can buy alot of other things to be happy with besides "status!"

In general, folks who aren't bar girls don't 'pop corks' when they are mistaken for bar girls, they just laugh it off.

It's like when better to do folks, both farangs and locals hear folks whispering 'must be a drug kingpin or something'... you don't go ballistic either because it's just plain silly.

[Dave the Dude]

In general, folks who aren't bar girls don't 'pop corks' when they are mistaken for bar girls, they just laugh it off.

It's like when better to do folks, both farangs and locals hear folks whispering 'must be a drug kingpin or something'... you don't go ballistic either because it's just plain silly.

Thats a fair assumption, as is, she must have 'pop her cork' COS SHE USED TO BE ONE THEN

Many people meet their wives that way. NO Problem.

Its sorting the good from the bad that needs a bit of clear thinking and time.

Dave

[fletchsmile]

Another example of what I've been talking about. This whole sin sod garbage is a cultural anachronism that should have died long ago. But it continues to be pepetuated, driven mostly by greed and the desire to "show-off" to other Thais.

Very good point. Her request for 1 million baht is a major red flag. That might work for a Thai movie star, but any normal Thai man would have paid 100k or less....especially a Pattaya girl.

My girlfriend of 2 yrs told her mom that we would marry, and she first wanted money. But when my girlfriend replied, "But that is not a part of his culture", then she agreed the sin sod was not necessary. Bless her heart. Sin sod is a dying tradition, even the Thais recognize it. It seems to be the Isaan poor trying to hold on to it the most...for obvious reasons.

My Thai husband's Thai nephew paid sin sot to get married 2 1/2 years ago, to his Thai wife. AFAIK, it is not a dying tradition, nor is it strictly Isaan.

I'd pretty much agree with sbk's comments . Tho' I don't have a Thai husband. Tradition is stronger in Isaan. But most Thai-Thai weddings/marriages invove sin sod even today. This includes most I've been to in BKK.

As for myself, I wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea, but respected the tradition, and the amounts involved were not major anyway. I used benchmarks of people I know, Thai-foreigner, Thai-Thai, and also my wife's relatives when they got married. I figured I should pay a little bit more than her cousin's husband did when they married as most recent. But if anyone had asked me for numbers in millions, I would have run a mile...

I'd also add that we received money off people at the wedding. Again I don't really like that tradition either. I'd prefer presents or something more personal, but if you're not prepared to compromise a little...

BTW sbk just curious: did your Thai husband pay you sin sod? I'd be curious to what extent a Thai man would like to maintain the tradition with a western lady, and how far he pushed the point or not.

Edited February 8, 2008 by fletchsmile

[Neeranam]

Just an FYI - my now "ex" was/is the owner of two bars, a tattoo shop, a three story building with attached restaurant, and an internet shop in and around the Pattya City area.

Every non-bargirl's dream.

[Smithson]

When Thai men marry farang women, do they ever offer to pay sin sot? It is, after all, an important part of the culture.

[soi lurker]

Sin sod bring her back to farangland then tell her its tradition that the brides family pay for the ceremony - just another pattaya story really

Soi lurker

I know this is off topic, but I think your avatar is sick .

sometimes people should keep their opinions to themselves, this is one of those times

Definition of forum - A medium in which the public may debate an issue or express an opinion

Good one mate thanks for clearing that up... btw each time i post, you will just see it more and more

Edited February 8, 2008 by soi lurker

[OxfordWill]

Just an FYI - my now "ex" was/is the owner of two bars, a tattoo shop, a three story building with attached restaurant, and an internet shop in and around the Pattya City area.

Every non-bargirl's dream.

ouch!

[britmaveric]

Going rate in Udon, 2million baht???? :D

[Neeranam]

Going rate in Udon, 2million baht????

how much did you pay for yours brit? what is the average?

I know a Thai couple in Khon Kaen - the dowry was land worth 4 million. She was educated abroad and father is a senior policeman.

It's got nothing to do with which province the woman is from.

[Westerner]

Sin sod bring her back to farangland then tell her its tradition that the brides family pay for the ceremony - just another pattaya story really

Soi lurker

I know this is off topic, but I think your avatar is sick .

sometimes people should keep their opinions to themselves, this is one of those times

Definition of forum - A medium in which the public may debate an issue or express an opinion

Good one mate thanks for clearing that up... btw each time i post, you will just see it more and more

Really funny that

[a2396]

Today I had lunch with one of my lovelys and she told me her girlfriend and former co-worker is going to me married in March to a lady-boy from BKK. Price: 1 million, but he/she comes from a rich family, the future bride says. I inquired from my lovely what was her asking price & she replied 7 million. She said she likes the number 7. Unfortunately, wedding plans with her and me are not on the horizion, but if any of you generous gents want to support Thai culture, I can perhaps provide you with her email.

[bendix]

Really funny that

Hey soi lurker. Off topic I know, but i LOVE your avatar. Hilarious.

[t.s]

Really funny that

Hey soi lurker. Off topic I know, but i LOVE your avatar. Hilarious.

aye, shes a real beauty.

[Dakhar]

Another example of what I've been talking about. This whole sin sod garbage is a cultural anachronism that should have died long ago. But it continues to be pepetuated, driven mostly by greed and the desire to "show-off" to other Thais.

Very good point. Her request for 1 million baht is a major red flag. That might work for a Thai movie star, but any normal Thai man would have paid 100k or less....especially a Pattaya girl.

My girlfriend of 2 yrs told her mom that we would marry, and she first wanted money. But when my girlfriend replied, "But that is not a part of his culture", then she agreed the sin sod was not necessary. Bless her heart. Sin sod is a dying tradition, even the Thais recognize it. It seems to be the Isaan poor trying to hold on to it the most...for obvious reasons.

actually, it is a wonderful tradition, and i totally agree with it.

One Thai family i know used it to discourage a groom from marrying too early; he had to work had and keep saving; in the end the money was returned to them but it was used as a fair way to make sure he was going to be responsible enough to act as a husband and a father.

The way it is used in Bangkok primarily is one of showing that the husband is man enough to look after a family, and that is what it should be for.

Upcountry, sometimes the parents need some of the money; however given the 'remove brain here' mentality so many farang have when they go to Isaan, is it small wonder that the parents send their kids to work in Patpong and reap the cash cow that is the Sin sot??!

Without it, how would a guy know that the woman he is marrying is a gold digger??!

He has got out of a tricky situation safely, thanks to the sin sot mechanic.

We have a similar tradition.... it is called a college degree! It is a form of savings, investment and sacrifice. It requires a lot of determination and dedication, and once it is obtained it usually pays off better than any other form of investment.

[Dakhar]

Going rate in Udon, 2million baht???? :D

My wife comes a fairly well to do family. Not old money, first generation type money. She gets angry when I laugh about her mothers wishes for 6 million baht for her US educated daughter. I ask what is it that she brings to the table?

Eventually I bought some land and put a 7 unit town house on it, 3 million baht or so. I told my wife she can consider that her sin sot because if we divorce it is hers, no matter what happens. So she gets that and half of everything (or more thanks to divorce laws that favor women).

[steveromagnino]

We have a similar tradition.... it is called a college degree! It is a form of savings, investment and sacrifice. It requires a lot of determination and dedication, and once it is obtained it usually pays off better than any other form of investment.

True dat.

Most well to do Thais have the same mentality.

How it relates to sin sot, however, well neither my bachelor nor post grad degrees seem to be helping me understand the relationship???!

[siamesekitty]

She gets angry when I laugh about her mothers wishes for 6 million baht for her US educated daughter.

์I'm not surprised.

[trotter]

6 Mill, never heard of one being that high.

[meandwi]

I was asked for 1 million Baht originally, by her father. But was tipped off by my fiance, to "negotiate with him". As it is a way to prove myself worthy, as a man, and not a push over. We negotiated and agreed to 400,000 baht. Then the wedding plans began. A wedding account was opened and my fiance was given her own ATM card. She made all the plans for a Thai traditional wedding ceremony starting at 7am, ending with a wedding party in the late evening hours. Lots of "gold", envelopes filled with cash to give as gifts, lots and lots of flowers, Band flown in from I don't know where? Photographer flown from Bangkok with accomadations. along with all her school friends and fellow workers! Plus rooms for them and family in hotels on the beach in Ao Nang. where we had the party. The Nakamanda Hotel. Great place for a wedding party!

To my surprise, all the sin sod was returned to us after the party! I didn't want it, but My wife said, "it was her fathers wish, and to respect him". So, we did.

I have to say, It was ALL WORTH IT! I have the most honest, smart, and beautiful wife I could possibly dream of! Now the best mother also, to our new born daughter

Oh, as part of me being "proved" to be worthy, I stayed and lived under their roof for almost a month, at the mothers request, just so they could see my love for their daughter. Only then, did they agree to sit down a talk about the sin sod.

We will continue this tradition with our daughter! She will never marry a man who refuses our tradition and values.

Edited February 9, 2008 by meandwi

[Heng]

Yeah, when it's returned all the "cultural" issues just fade away don't they?

[britmaveric]

We will continue this tradition with our daughter! She will never marry a man who refuses our tradition and values.

Your daughter may not want that - as time passes so do traditions.

[mrt273nva]

while farang women want all your money at the end of a relationship, thais want all your money up front.

[meandwi]

I love the "cultural" differences, and have accepted theirs as my own. I especially love all the superstitions. I am doing my best to learn all I can about their traditions that have been passed down from generation to generation. We will pass them to our children. Our hope is for our children to keep them, out of respect for us. As we respect our parents.

Some things change. The cold showers from a tub of water has been changed to a large garden hose on the roof. I like hot showers.

[aussiecollin]

In India the wife's family pay a hefty dowry to the guy.

[Ieyuhrah]

I fail to see the problem with the avitar. Having snorkled with sting rays (and watched 'Animal Planet', 'Nova', & 'Discovery') I know that it is biologically incorrect and in so find it comical. Now if it were a seal chewing the feet off the penguin then one could possibly have reason to say something. But then it would be biologically correct and no point for criticism; just a fact. To quote a famous Hollywood philosopher "Lighten up, Francis!" I find other avitars in marginal to poor taste but that is their reflection of themselves. My 60Stg worth (at the current USD>THB rate of 30.04228). That makes this OT twice......