Overseas & Oversexed

[Taggart]

National Post (Canada)

Karen Mazurkewich, Financial Post

Published: Saturday, February 09, 2008

Overseas & Oversexed

An Asian posting can enhance an executive's career. Sadly, it can also fuel infidelity, abuse--and murder

[HomeisThai]

Then there are the guys who are old, fat and bald, without any prospects of attracting the attention of a smart, young, attractive Western woman, but discover that they can be attractive because of their affluence or visa status to a whole range of [Asian] women, and strike up a relationship with one of them, not realizing that in the eyes of their friends and other Asians, they look at best [like] fools and at worst predators," he adds.

So true (not of all obviously but alot)

[howtoescape]

National Post (Canada)

Karen Mazurkewich, Financial Post

Published: Saturday, February 09, 2008

Overseas & Oversexed

An Asian posting can enhance an executive's career. Sadly, it can also fuel infidelity, abuse--and murder

Karen Mazurkewich must be a feminazi to write them first 2 paragraphs, she writes like he deserved to be bludgeoned by his pyscho wife for working too hard.

I unfortunately studied Business Management for 1 long year with a modular on Cross Cultural work placements, and that crappy article sounds like it was written by some lecturer with a vivid imagination who has never left the classroom.

Why are western women so envious that the tables have turned in LOS with women.

[jumnien]

What's a "fareng"?

[Ulysses G.]

Then there are the guys who are old, fat and bald, without any prospects of attracting the attention of a smart, young, attractive Western woman, but discover that they can be attractive because of their affluence or visa status to a whole range of [Asian] women, and strike up a relationship with one of them, not realizing that in the eyes of their friends and other Asians, they look at best [like] fools and at worst predators," he adds.

So true (not of all obviously but alot)

To me, they look like fellows who are too clever to be lonely and desperate when they don't really have to be.

How come old, fat and bald rich guys in the West are not thought of as "fools and at worst predators" when they take advantage of their financial status to strike up a relationship with smart, young, attractive Western woman? How come the Western women are not thought of as whores?

Can you say hypocrites?

Edited February 10, 2008 by Ulysses G.

[Ricardo]

What's a "fareng"?

Perhaps a 'farang' on 'e's ?

[GuestHouse]

While there is no excuse for murder. The contrast in the experience of the guys wife in Asia with that of her husband is not uncommon and certainly not limited to the wives of professional expatriates.

Far from the first two paragraphs being written by a 'feminazi' (whatever that is meant to mean) I believe, omitting the murder, they describe experience of many married western couples who move to Asia.

[taxexile]

The trend is so pervasive that Warren Olson , former investigator and author of Confessions of a Bangkok Private-Eye, says he's never met a wife whose suspicions were unfounded.

Across Asia, private eyes tailing wayward spouses is on the rise.

Thailand Investigation & Information Services promotes its services online and promises to "shadow his every move and provide the evidence you'll need to get him to confess and, if divorcing, to obtain a very favour-able settlement. " Founded in 1993, the sleuthing agency receives several inquiries a week by Western women seeking to track down unfaithful husbands, says field services director Charles Richards .

Not all women bite. "Only about 50% of the women go ahead with the investigation," says Mr. Richards in an e-mail. Cost is a deterrent but, "when they do agree to use the services, they are like bulldogs. They never give up! They want to know literally everything about the girl or girls involved."

How many of the spouses he's tracked actually cheat? About 75% are involved in an affair.

"It does not matter what you look like or how old or fat or bald you are ... in Thailand, farengs are treated like a film star," says Mr. Richards.

pure nonsense , a completely over the top sensationalist space filler of an article , but amusing enough in spite of that.

this article merely paints the husbands as slobbering satyrs and their wives as insecure jealousy ridden harridans.

the detectives come out as just as sleazy as their prey.

Edited February 10, 2008 by taxexile

[PeaceBlondie]

EVA BRAUN was a feminazi. The lady who wrote the sensationalist article is not a professional journalist.

[MeaMaximaCulpa]

Feminazi? Sensationalist? Get outta here!

In my short (3 year) working "career" (yeah right!) in Thailand, in a small/medium sized company, I saw at least 3 cases similar to the article, involving expats.

OK, no murder and grisly stuff, but infidelity and marriage break-up as a result. And that I think is just the tip of the iceberg.

Edit for typos

Edited February 10, 2008 by MeaMaximaCulpa

[taxexile]

In my short (3 year) working "career" (yeah right!) in Thailand, in a small/medium sized company, I saw at least 3 cases similar to the article, involving expats.

you would see as many if not more in any company or workplace back in the uk , with the wives being just as guilty as the husbands of infidelity.

[Taggart]

In my short (3 year) working "career" (yeah right!) in Thailand, in a small/medium sized company, I saw at least 3 cases similar to the article, involving expats.

you would see as many if not more in any company or workplace back in the uk , with the wives being just as guilty as the husbands of infidelity.

You may be right on that one.

Britain, Thailand, it can happen anywhere.

Telegraph.CO.UK

Last Updated: 12:01am GMT 21/01/2008

Infidelity: Desperately seeking someone

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the 1970's there was a stage play called "Same Time Next Year", which was later released as a movie with Ellen Burstyn and Alan Alda. It was a beautiful movie even though it was about a long term adulterous affair. Things haven't changed in 2008. For the most part it's still a taboo subject....except when the rumor mill back at the office gets flowing.

[GuestHouse]

EVA BRAUN was a feminazi. The lady who wrote the sensationalist article is not a professional journalist.

If she gets paid to write her reports she's a professional journalist.

[Maigo6]

the eyes of their friends and other Asians, they look at best [like] fools and at worst predators," he adds.

Yet those other Farangs would crawl 20 Kms over broken glass to get an overseas posting with such benefits.

[astral]

If she gets paid to write her reports she's a professional journalist.

Getting paid does not make a person a professional.

A professional can be either a person in a profession (certain types of skilled work requiring formal training / education) or in sports (a sportsman / sportwoman doing sports for payment).

It is also used to indicate a special level of quality of goods or tools.

[GuestHouse]

the eyes of their friends and other Asians, they look at best [like] fools and at worst predators," he adds.

Yet those other Farangs would crawl 20 Kms over broken glass to get an overseas posting with such benefits.

Not necessarily so, I know a number of expatriate assignees who have chosen to leave Thailand exactly because their wives/husbands/family where not happy with life in Thailand - and in particular the balance of family life.

It has also been my observation that assignees who get the family balance right, tend to the more effective assignees.

The last thing any organization spending large amounts of money on expatriate assignments wants is guys fixated on cheep beer and cheep women.

Mind, what you say may well be true of the average bar fly.

[steveromagnino]

If she gets paid to write her reports she's a professional journalist.

Getting paid does not make a person a professional.

I guess the writer must be maintaing their amatuer status so they can compete in the journalist olympics.

Typically poorly written sensationalist writing the same as we see the world over, but based on the majority of expats i know here and what they get up to (a few setting some world records in sexual antics) I can't help but feel the majority of what is written is fairly true.

The angst and typical feminazi knee jerk, suggest even further that it is probably true.

Should have noted the amount of gay relationships occurring here as well and that the Pent is not really a farang orientated place but you can't expect much from the english language media about Asia.

[djinn]

Then there are the guys who are old, fat and bald, without any prospects of attracting the attention of a smart, young, attractive Western woman, but discover that they can be attractive because of their affluence or visa status to a whole range of [Asian] women, and strike up a relationship with one of them, not realizing that in the eyes of their friends and other Asians, they look at best [like] fools and at worst predators," he adds.

So true (not of all obviously but alot)

To me, they look like fellows who are too clever to be lonely and desperate when they don't really have to be.

How come old, fat and bald rich guys in the West are not thought of as "fools and at worst predators" when they take advantage of their financial status to strike up a relationship with smart, young, attractive Western woman? How come the Western women are not thought of as whores?

Can you say hypocrites?

Fully agree but we forget one key factor about the relationship between 2 people with a big age gap:POWER image

In my forties in europ I was already fat and (relatively ) rich.Not yet bald .Remember relationship with girls 15 to 20 years younger than me.Were from very good family with very good income , really beautifull and clever

What was the secret?I was the boss of subsidiary of a well known software cy.They searched the POWER image.(and some of my friends in the same kind of position had the same experiences).

An other factor should be that certain girls search the image of their father in a relationship (or the contrary of this image depending how they see their father)

Now i am living in LOS,old, fat , bald and rich (at least for poor people ) and...same same

GF has 35 years less than me

The power image here is much more a money power image for sure but the father comparison is still valid

So much more complex that the feminazi article...isn't it????

[makrook]

Now i am living in LOS,old, fat , bald and rich (at least for poor people ) and...same same

GF has 35 years less than me

The power image here is much more a money power image for sure but the father comparison is still valid

So much more complex that the feminazi article...isn't it????

I see you're capable of self-derision, and my remark may not be relevant in your case anyway but, old, fat, rich, GF 35 years less than you, you really really sure that's the father image that's important to her in your relationship ???

[Gravelrash]

Being unaware of or unwilling to acknowledge what a feminazi is certainly stakes out where ones position lies. Seems that any abberation will always have sympathisers and collaberators amoung those they attack, they get tossed the odd good boy bone to keep them begging for approval. I would expect that this type of of lofty, self-imagined superior personality would fare better in the west expousing feminist ideals and fantisizing over domination issues with Xena Warrior Princess reruns.

I would suspect there is probably a lot of truth in the article, pity they didn't take the trouble to qualify their assertions with comparisons to the west. Numerous reports (including one cited here already) suggest that women are no new hands at doing the same thing, and that many thinking they are fathers aren't. Usual nonsense about men being the bad guys.

[djinn]

Now i am living in LOS,old, fat , bald and rich (at least for poor people ) and...same same

GF has 35 years less than me

The power image here is much more a money power image for sure but the father comparison is still valid

So much more complex that the feminazi article...isn't it????

I see you're capable of self-derision, and my remark may not be relevant in your case anyway but, old, fat, rich, GF 35 years less than you, you really really sure that's the father image that's important to her in your relationship ???

It is only a minor factor.

GF is from poor family .I am not the family sponsor;I assure her a future.She study in good schools now;she takes care very well of old ugly pervert (for the feminazissss ) and I am the contrary of her father who lost all the family assets in gambling and drinking .He also never assumed anything for the future of his children.That s her own words.

Could be her way to say I am a sexy man but after more than 2 years of common life...not sure.Wait and see.

You see I can be cynical too

[stumonster]

my dog likes me - and she is thai

and I am pretty sure it is not for the money , and probably not for my handsome visage either.

[Prakanong]

In my short (3 year) working "career" (yeah right!) in Thailand, in a small/medium sized company, I saw at least 3 cases similar to the article, involving expats.

you would see as many if not more in any company or workplace back in the uk , with the wives being just as guilty as the husbands of infidelity.

I did have a colleague last week in Thailand going on about how Thai women will do anything to get a guy they are after in the office or workplace, her exact words to me were , "You know what Thai girls are like".

Thing is though she is Thai herself - lived in North America for quite a while with family before returning to work in Thailand and is married there with a kid.

I hear the same thing said by western expat women in Singapore - Asian women are just out to snare a man and they do not care if he is married or in as relationship.

Must admit i have never noticed it in the workplace and only a little in bar's (of the non-hooker variety but a lot in hooker variety)

[Prakanong]

the eyes of their friends and other Asians, they look at best [like] fools and at worst predators," he adds.

Yet those other Farangs would crawl 20 Kms over broken glass to get an overseas posting with such benefits.

True - thing is though I find the majority who would tend not to get the postings to Asia

Most of the people I know and those I work with did not have this overwhelming urge to end up in Asia - an oveasea's posting is no problem but not going out of their way to get to Asia.

[Pepe']

Then there are the guys who are old, fat and bald, without any prospects of attracting the attention of a smart, young, attractive Western woman, but discover that they can be attractive because of their affluence or visa status to a whole range of [Asian] women, and strike up a relationship with one of them, not realizing that in the eyes of their friends and other Asians, they look at best [like] fools and at worst predators," he adds.

So true (not of all obviously but alot)

To me, they look like fellows who are too clever to be lonely and desperate when they don't really have to be.

How come old, fat and bald rich guys in the West are not thought of as "fools and at worst predators" when they take advantage of their financial status to strike up a relationship with smart, young, attractive Western woman? How come the Western women are not thought of as whores?

Can you say hypocrites?

----------------------

Right who was that 88 year old that married Anna Nicole.

The media couldn't get enough of it. And that dude always had a big smile on his face...

[kat]

"The disintegration of families sent abroad is so well-documented that sophisticated firms are increasingly hiring relocation services to mediate overseas assignments."

I see nothing untrue or overstated in that article, except for an obvious bias against Americans. I'm not sure if it is a matter of misunderstanding cultural differences as one of the quoted interviewees in the article states, because the phenomenon is definitely not restricted to Americans, as a cursory view of this board will demonstrate.

And, it IS a phenomenon that is documented and well known by head-hunters, corporations, and non-profits alike, as well as to posters on this board, so I think the name-calling and indignation must be symptomatic of something else.

*typo

Edited February 11, 2008 by kat

[dannyh2000uk]

"It does not matter what you look like or how old or fat or bald you are ... in Thailand, farengs are treated like a film star," says Mr. Richards.

and the problem is ?????

[howtoescape]

"It does not matter what you look like or how old or fat or bald you are ... in Thailand, farengs are treated like a film star," says Mr. Richards.

and the problem is ?????

Is that Mr Richards is not in Thailand.

[Pepe']

Then there are the guys who are old, fat and bald, without any prospects of attracting the attention of a smart, young, attractive Western woman, but discover that they can be attractive because of their affluence or visa status to a whole range of [Asian] women, and strike up a relationship with one of them, not realizing that in the eyes of their friends and other Asians, they look at best [like] fools and at worst predators," he adds.

So true (not of all obviously but alot)

To me, they look like fellows who are too clever to be lonely and desperate when they don't really have to be.

How come old, fat and bald rich guys in the West are not thought of as "fools and at worst predators" when they take advantage of their financial status to strike up a relationship with smart, young, attractive Western woman? How come the Western women are not thought of as whores?

Can you say hypocrites?

-------------------

Good question general...

[PhilHarries]

In my experience often the most damaging factor in a marital breakup while on overseas assignment is the wife. With nothing to do and all day to do it the wives tend to congregate in groups sitting around on their coffee mornings or whatever. Spending their time gossiping about how great their hubbies are and how any other male is nothing but a drunken whoremonger. When they have finished their days character assassinations they go home and, sitting all alone, start to be beset by thoughts like "does my husband really work so late?" and "why does his Sunday round of golf take so much longer than it did back home?".

In my opinion overseas assignments on married status need carefull consideration as any slight character flaw tends to get magnified beyond all proportion. It is fine for the guys (usually) as they are working five or six days of the week while the wives are stuck at home, often with young children, in a foreign country with all the problems that entails. Foreign language, food, weather, healthcare are all constant pressures on young mothers in particular and then hubby comes home weary from a days work and maybe not particularly receptive to tales of little Sarahs tummy upset and how the doctor didn't seem to understand how serious this was.

Then there are the overseas assignments for married men but on single status. But that's a whole new barrel of worms.

In my business just about all contracts involve long periods working overseas often not in the prettiest parts of the country and marital strife and/or breakup are almost the norm. On my current job out of 20 expats, 10 are on second marriages or separated/divorced, 4 are playing around and out of the remaining 6 I can only offer better than 90% surety of fidelity on about 2 of them.

Maybe it's because the male of the species is basically a nomad whilst the female is the homemaker.