Scampy's Diary

[fatter than harry]

Secret of the universe?

[IamMaiC]

There's Something About Mary - (Cam Diaz, Ben Stiller) - Juvenille rubbish, just managed to sit through it. Would have enjoyed it if more I was twelve. Utter crap. - 1/10

Surprised you even watched it i went to see it in the theatre with a friend he was laughing histerically i couldn't find any humor in it.

[RDN]

But still not Aussie's turn, Doc...

...You might be an exception though.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

But still not Aussie's turn, Doc...

...You might be an exception though.

Form another orderly queue, and wait for the four letter word N E X T

[elsie]

N E X T !!!

[mbkudu]

Just curious Scamp, what kind of business is Scruffy Murphy's and what position are you applying for, if I may be so nosy?

[qwertyuiop]

"Irish" pub

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Just curious Scamp, what kind of business is Scruffy Murphy's and what position are you applying for, if I may be so nosy?

A Boozer and Scampy is the official finder of lager louts for AA membership.

[RDN]

Hope you get the job, Scampy

[kayo]

Hmm, Good luck Scampy...

One of my favorite quotes of all time is Shawshank Redemption Quote (if you were still awake). From some of your other postings, thought you´d like this one:

Morgan Freemans Character (Red) to Tim:

"You either get busy living, or get busy dying"

Can´t remember the rest.

Cutie, how do Dutch/English/Spanish/Swiss cocktails rate in your queuing system? I ain´t no Doc, but hey...

[elsie]

Update your diary fast, Scampy. I've been hijacking your thread.

kayo; English first surely. Then, Swiss, Dutch and Spanish.

Where on earth is my bloody Lonely Hearts Forum, G?

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Update your diary fast, Scampy. I've been hijacking your thread.

kayo; English first surely. Then, Swiss, Dutch and Spanish.

Where on earth is my bloody Lonely Hearts Forum, G?

Why not start such a forum Cute. Then you can control the queues.

[Totster]

Why not start such a forum Cute. Then you can control the queues.

Yep... control is what you need.... it's getting a bit pushy all the way back here...

Anyway... I'm a pom, shouldn't there be a special VIP line for us....?

totster

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Why not start such a forum Cute. Then you can control the queues. 

Yep... control is what you need.... it's getting a bit pushy all the way back here...

Anyway... I'm a pom, shouldn't there be a special VIP line for us....?

totster

According to some of her posts, you soapdodger's are out of the Cutie Stakes. Take yourselves in hand.

[RDN]

According to some of her posts, you soapdodger's are out of the Cutie Stakes...

But according to her latest post, she's come back to her senses:

...English first surely. Then, Swiss, Dutch and Spanish....

And no mention of Aussies

In fact, no mention of any of our ex-colonials

[dr_Pat_Pong]

According to some of her posts, you soapdodger's are out of the Cutie Stakes...

But according to her latest post, she's come back to her senses:

...English first surely. Then, Swiss, Dutch and Spanish....

And no mention of Aussies

In fact, no mention of any of our ex-colonials

Desperate tarts start at the barrell's bottom.

[Totster]

Desperate tarts start at the barrell's bottom.

oh dear... fancy calling her desperate.....

I reckon your run as "the exception" may be coming to an end...

totster

[Dickie]

There's Something About Mary

Yeah, she's pig-ugly. How anyone can find Diaz attractive beats me with a cricket bat.

[Totster]

I've gotta say that I've always had a bit of a soft spot for Cameron Diaz....

totster

[IamMaiC]

I've gotta say that I've always had a bit of a soft spot for Cameron Diaz....

totster

She's not pig ugly though I'm not attracted to her but she's not an ugly girl.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

The Friday after the famous Friday I have yet to speak of.

Oct 16th

I'm back in Hua Hin and I will miss it and Ning has probably arrived at Heathrow and I miss her but I miss her because I'm back here which is nice and the lady at the restaurant who I was only polite to in passing wants to buy me a souveneer but I leave in the morning at 9am back for 'Pookers' - a term used by baht&Sold who I spoke to today to apologise for leaving him out of the 'who I've met list' and I have not had alcohol for three days now apart from the 3 Heinikens that were in my fridge (that splitlid left) when I returned to the apartment last night after a 10 day absence and yesterday Ranong was depressing as ever and I have to go now because I have not finished packing and Erco, yes, Erco who's really just a character, his real name is Cuthbert, he's coming over at 8pm to take the stuff I can't take back to his place until he drives to Phuket a bit later on so I have to go now.

"Coffee!!!"

[Totster]

"Coffee!!!"

That's confusing....

totster

[baht&sold]

Scamp, you weren't joking apparently...

Geez, I just pointed you to the now infamous Hua Hin gig...(oopz)

Ah well, 'Pookers' is looking up and I'll keep my ears open for ya.

BTW, I believe you coined that term! (as well as 'spaggelepods' sp?)

"Duff!!!"

(Ok Totster, point taken;)

PS: practically peed meself first time I saw your penguin avatar

[Dickie]

I've gotta say that I've always had a bit of a soft spot for Cameron Diaz.... 

totster 

She's not pig ugly though I'm not attracted to her but she's not an ugly girl.

Yeah, now I must find that photo a paparazzi took of her with no make-up on, just being normal. Pig really IS the word.

[RDN]

Yeah, now I must find that photo a paparazzi took of her with no make-up on, just being normal. Pig really IS the word.

Oink, oink

[Totster]

Yeah, now I must find that photo a paparazzi took of her with no make-up on, just being normal. Pig really IS the word.

Hmmmmm !!

[mbkudu]

Is she what you men in the UK call a 'minger'?

[RDN]

Yeah, now I must find that photo a paparazzi took of her with no make-up on, just being normal. Pig really IS the word.

Hmmmmm !!

I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating biscuits....

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Monday 18th Oct

The end is nigh.

Back in Phuket after visa run in cheerful and happening Ranong on Friday, after which I took a bus to Hua Hin which took from 3:30 until almost midnight.

Throughout the journey the entire 12Call phone network crashed and I could not call ex boss to arrange to pick up key for Hua Hin apartment so I could pack.

At some point Ning tried in vain to call me from Don Muang airport but I could hear nothing. A month previous she had been with me and I was salivating at bog roll. This time I had a different ache in my stomach, for the first time since she'd gone... Why had it taken over a fortnight to miss her? Maybe it was because I was doing the same journey we took together back to the place where we lived together or maybe it was simply the fact that she was no longer at the end of a phone line.

Back in Hua Hin after 11 days away, I eventually got my key back and packed, and that night I took a strong antihistimine and slept like a baby.

Saturday Evening.

The following evening Erco and wife stopped by to relieve me of my fan, DVD player, clothes and other stuff I could not take back to Phuket.

It was a horrible feeling sitting in the emptiness of the apartment I had shared with Ning. I had not seen her for over two weeks and had not had a chance to really miss her since she'd left as Splitlid came to stay the weekend after and then I came to Phuket.

That apartment and that town had represented a new start - coming down that first Saturday with new good friend driving and beautiful new promising first girlfriend in years, Ning, in the back seat I was so happy...

A new start, a new place, a new job.

That was how it was supposed to be and now it isn't.

Standing in the bathroom staring at the half melted candle on the side of the bath and her shampoo made me feel numb, almost void of emotion.

I miss her but I know it won't ever work, I just want to be okay in myself and get a ####### ####### #### job so I can get on my feey and invite her down to stay as a mate for a few days in my new paradise in which I feel so helpless.

Being here, surrounded by mates who have the luxury of going to work and coming home and going for a few beers and a game of pool, I feel like a man with a broken leg, sitting next to his crutches, watching his friends swimming or playing volleyball, I feel like I can't get membership to this exclusive club which we call expatriatism.

The following (yesterday) morning, I ordered a tuk-tuk and heaved my baggage by the door, switched off the power and watched the curtains being blown inside by the breeze through the screen door of what had been our 10th floor balcony where Ning would hang my newly washed shirts on the metal hangar thingy.

I'd forgotten the metal hanger thingy we assembled together on the same day SHE bought me an iron and ironing board. The metal hangar thingy would have to stay.

Anyway my friends, readers, detractors, faceless supporters, mods and admins...

Nothing positive to declare I'm sorry to say - no one has got back to me despite the interviews, sent e-mails and phone calls last week.

Some local BG's have invited me to their shared bungalow every morning and evening for food until I am on my feet.

I have 4,000 baht remaining of borrowed money - and in two weeks when my rent is up I will have a bill for my motorbike.

I'm sorry to sound so full of hopeless bleak despair but the things are not going to plan and I may have to face facts and go home, God only knows what I'll do there.

In the words of Jack Nicholson in my favourite film - One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest... "I tried God dammit, at least I did that".

On the other hand something may fall out of the sky and i'll be on my way to work by the end of the week. But for know, sorry to sound down... I'm gonna ask Tornado to come over and slap me about a bit.

Oh, one more thing...

During that month in Hua Hin when I was working and walking the short distance from one restaurant to the other to check everything was okay and see how many customers we had, there was a Thai woman who worked at an Italian restaurant in between, opposite the Hilton. She was never a friend but we always said a passing hello, and for some reason she wanted my number on Saturday afternoon when she spotted me for the first time not in shirt and tie and she asked how I was.

A few minutes before the Phuket bus rolled into Hua Hin yesterday morning, she turned up on a bike and gave me a small brass Bhudda medallion with loop to attach string or chain and told me it would bring me good luck.

Has it <deleted>.

[Darknight]

Scampy , i would sincerely suggest you look at the oppertunity to go back to your famillie in the uk .

You're obviously losing it out there, jumping from one place to another won't solve it.

Maybe it's to late and you can't even get back anymore. If their ain't no job in bkk then there won't be one in phuket probably. Maybe employers just see you as a loose canon.