Looking At Your Phone

[intumult]

Had one g/f I caught looking through my contact directory in my mobile phone as I walked through the door unexpectedly. Seems she did not really know what she was looking at as the first entry was my UK bank and on checking the phone log I saw she had already phoned them.

When I asked her about it she said I was on the computer a lot and she wanted to know what other women I had and who I was seeing. ( no-one as it happens, but I do chat to friends on the computer from various countries. Some female and she saw that and jumped to conclusions).

Needless to say that I coded the mobile after that.

Anyone else caught their g/f or b/f out doing something they shouldn't? And what did you do about it?

[seobangkok]

Trust me, they all do it.

If you think your missus doesn't... then you just haven't caught them doing it yet!

[britmaveric]

Always locked when not using it, so might find it difficult.

[b19bry]

Trust me, they all do it.

If you think your missus doesn't... then you just haven't caught them doing it yet!

Absolutely !! and if you lock it you're just hiding something in their eye's

[Shotime]

All my contacts have male names.

[froggshw]

my phone always remains locked...nothing to hide and she is allowed to look when she wants...which isn't often

[RonD]

Goes through my mobile - check texts, wants passwords to my email accounts - believes I have someone in the office taking a fancy on me - when being called by the Technical manager at my job on my mobile after 7 pm at first she accused me of the said woman in the office calling but when I said it was a man, she replied "maybe gay"!!! - if I go alone in taxi I have to hand over phone to the taxi driver who will then where I am at - and where I was picked up from - check the phone, and my work apartment during the week for pictures of her/us missing or changed position on the shelves - checks computer if "sweet pictues" of us on as desktop wall paper has been changed (same on my phone) - she has waited outside my work apartment after midnight 2 hours during the week once when I was out with the office for a innocent night out - she has attempted to forcibly open my door to surprise me with another woman (noone there, I was alone) 3 AM at night - analyse my emails, text, wordings (getting them translated for the real, thai, subjective and emotional meaning by friends of her) - if I'm out and come home late in the evening she used to sit at the door waiting for me.

However it's getting better now, and I do take it in a stride. But I do delete text messages that can be interpreted as suspicious, even when they're not. Don't lock the phone though.

I try to understand with the perspective that it's not easy for anyone with a jealous mind to feel or "get crazy" like this, so I do try to assist and have an understanding, relaxed attitude about it. Help her trust you without compromising your freedom and personal space, because in their mind (or any jealous mind for that matter) they will plot, fantasize about the worse things that can happen picking up the smallest "clues" that they "discover". It can create an evil spiralling circle and will create a lousy atmosphere, boiling over at the slightest little thing.

[telaksslave]

Trust me, they all do it.

If you think your missus doesn't... then you just haven't caught them doing it yet!

ur all very sad in ur relationship if u think there going behind ur back " they all do it " wow u know everything

[canuckamuck]

Goes through my mobile - check texts, wants passwords to my email accounts - believes I have someone in the office taking a fancy on me - when being called by the Technical manager at my job on my mobile after 7 pm at first she accused me of the said woman in the office calling but when I said it was a man, she replied "maybe gay"!!! - if I go alone in taxi I have to hand over phone to the taxi driver who will then where I am at - and where I was picked up from - check the phone, and my work apartment during the week for pictures of her/us missing or changed position on the shelves - checks computer if "sweet pictues" of us on as desktop wall paper has been changed (same on my phone) - she has waited outside my work apartment after midnight 2 hours during the week once when I was out with the office for a innocent night out - she has attempted to forcibly open my door to surprise me with another woman (noone there, I was alone) 3 AM at night - analyse my emails, text, wordings (getting them translated for the real, thai, subjective and emotional meaning by friends of her) - if I'm out and come home late in the evening she used to sit at the door waiting for me.

However it's getting better now, and I do take it in a stride. But I do delete text messages that can be interpreted as suspicious, even when they're not. Don't lock the phone though.

I try to understand with the perspective that it's not easy for anyone with a jealous mind to feel or "get crazy" like this, so I do try to assist and have an understanding, relaxed attitude about it. Help her trust you without compromising your freedom and personal space, because in their mind (or any jealous mind for that matter) they will plot, fantasize about the worse things that can happen picking up the smallest "clues" that they "discover". It can create an evil spiralling circle and will create a lousy atmosphere, boiling over at the slightest little thing.

I would have put up with that crap for about 5 minutes and then showed her the door. Life's too short to share with neurotics and jealous types.

[Carib]

Goes through my mobile - check texts, wants passwords to my email accounts - believes I have someone in the office taking a fancy on me - when being called by the Technical manager at my job on my mobile after 7 pm at first she accused me of the said woman in the office calling but when I said it was a man, she replied "maybe gay"!!! - if I go alone in taxi I have to hand over phone to the taxi driver who will then where I am at - and where I was picked up from - check the phone, and my work apartment during the week for pictures of her/us missing or changed position on the shelves - checks computer if "sweet pictues" of us on as desktop wall paper has been changed (same on my phone) - she has waited outside my work apartment after midnight 2 hours during the week once when I was out with the office for a innocent night out - she has attempted to forcibly open my door to surprise me with another woman (noone there, I was alone) 3 AM at night - analyse my emails, text, wordings (getting them translated for the real, thai, subjective and emotional meaning by friends of her) - if I'm out and come home late in the evening she used to sit at the door waiting for me.

However it's getting better now, and I do take it in a stride. But I do delete text messages that can be interpreted as suspicious, even when they're not. Don't lock the phone though.

I try to understand with the perspective that it's not easy for anyone with a jealous mind to feel or "get crazy" like this, so I do try to assist and have an understanding, relaxed attitude about it. Help her trust you without compromising your freedom and personal space, because in their mind (or any jealous mind for that matter) they will plot, fantasize about the worse things that can happen picking up the smallest "clues" that they "discover". It can create an evil spiralling circle and will create a lousy atmosphere, boiling over at the slightest little thing.

My compliments in handling it in the way you do !!

It is something i cannot, even though i know it is something the other person has no control over, and that it is really a problem to her too.

With me it started to take over everything. No " normal" explanation was possible for normal everyday things. I am faithfull, and lead an open for everybody to see life, but still.....

Slightly of topic i know....

[joskydive]

My other half is always checking my phone, emails and Messenger. He even answers my phone sometimes just to check if it's a bloke ringing me. More often than not it is a bloke as most, not all, of my friends and customers are male.

I just let him carry on but I do get the - who is he? how do you know him? is he a special friend?

[intumult]

Trust me, they all do it.

If you think your missus doesn't... then you just haven't caught them doing it yet!

Absolutely !! and if you lock it you're just hiding something in their eye's

too true

[intumult]

And how often do you cough in a manly way if you think your g/f is talking to some other man, or pass some inane comment while she is on the phone, so the caller realises she has a Farang man present???

Same goes for the ladies. of course.

Not that I would dream of doing such a thing!!!

[sbk]

And how often do you cough in a manly way if you think your g/f is talking to some other man, or pass some inane comment while she is on the phone, so the caller realises she has a Farang man present???

Same goes for the ladies. of course.

Not that I would dream of doing such a thing!!!

Of course you wouldn't

Extreme jealousy is a very bad sign IMO, and those with extremely jealous partners had better beware as it is often an excuse for violence.

[JetsetBkk]

I can't lock mine - a Nokia 3120.

[cobra]

What breaks them of that habit is to ask to look at their phone,

Edited June 26, 2008 by cobra

[a2396]

Had one g/f I caught looking through my contact directory in my mobile phone as I walked through the door unexpectedly. Seems she did not really know what she was looking at as the first entry was my UK bank and on checking the phone log I saw she had already phoned them.

When I asked her about it she said I was on the computer a lot and she wanted to know what other women I had and who I was seeing. ( no-one as it happens, but I do chat to friends on the computer from various countries. Some female and she saw that and jumped to conclusions).

Needless to say that I coded the mobile after that.

Anyone else caught their g/f or b/f out doing something they shouldn't? And what did you do about it?

One of my most recent GF's did the same thing, the first month we were together. I think it is normal paranoia for them. I would not get that upset about it, unless it becomes a continual thing. Coding your mobile will make her think you have something to hide. The bottom line is are you trustworthy or not and the same for her.

[a2396]

Goes through my mobile - check texts, wants passwords to my email accounts - believes I have someone in the office taking a fancy on me - when being called by the Technical manager at my job on my mobile after 7 pm at first she accused me of the said woman in the office calling but when I said it was a man, she replied "maybe gay"!!! - if I go alone in taxi I have to hand over phone to the taxi driver who will then where I am at - and where I was picked up from - check the phone, and my work apartment during the week for pictures of her/us missing or changed position on the shelves - checks computer if "sweet pictues" of us on as desktop wall paper has been changed (same on my phone) - she has waited outside my work apartment after midnight 2 hours during the week once when I was out with the office for a innocent night out - she has attempted to forcibly open my door to surprise me with another woman (noone there, I was alone) 3 AM at night - analyse my emails, text, wordings (getting them translated for the real, thai, subjective and emotional meaning by friends of her) - if I'm out and come home late in the evening she used to sit at the door waiting for me.

However it's getting better now, and I do take it in a stride. But I do delete text messages that can be interpreted as suspicious, even when they're not. Don't lock the phone though.

I try to understand with the perspective that it's not easy for anyone with a jealous mind to feel or "get crazy" like this, so I do try to assist and have an understanding, relaxed attitude about it. Help her trust you without compromising your freedom and personal space, because in their mind (or any jealous mind for that matter) they will plot, fantasize about the worse things that can happen picking up the smallest "clues" that they "discover". It can create an evil spiralling circle and will create a lousy atmosphere, boiling over at the slightest little thing.

This one sounds like a "nut case". Good luck, but if I were you, I would ease out of it.

[Jimjim]

Happened all the time with my Filipina and Thai girlfriends both. In the U.S. it would result in a big fight about trust.

[Moonrakers]

I was in a nightmare relationship with a Fillipino once, quite how it lasted 6 months I don't know.

Once when we where out drinking, some bloke on another table said "F'inhell lads, look at that Katoey, she is gorgeous".

I reacted by looking and indeed there was a stunning looking Katoey stood there.

Well I got it in the ear about that for about a week about that one, despite my argument that it was a bloke anyway and I am not in the slightest bit inclined to go with a Katoey.

[h90]

All my contacts have male names.

that would make mine even more angry (she would think I am gay)

[Crushdepth]

Had one g/f I caught looking through my contact directory in my mobile phone as I walked through the door unexpectedly. Seems she did not really know what she was looking at as the first entry was my UK bank and on checking the phone log I saw she had already phoned them.

I've had the 'going through the phone' business, as well as peeking through my email, but going through the phone and actually *ringing people up* ? That's sick.

[sweetchariot]

I reacted by looking and indeed there was a stunning looking Katoey stood there.

Well I got it in the ear about that for about a week about that one.

Are you sure you spelt 'ear' correctly

[moo9]

Always locked when not using it, so might find it difficult.

Isn't she than asking "Why you lock phone? Have secret?"

And what do you answer?

Rgs

Moo9

[moo9]

Had one g/f I caught looking through my contact directory in my mobile phone as I walked through the door unexpectedly. Seems she did not really know what she was looking at as the first entry was my UK bank and on checking the phone log I saw she had already phoned them.

I've had the 'going through the phone' business, as well as peeking through my email, but going through the phone and actually *ringing people up* ? That's sick.

Happened to me before, grabbing my phone running out of the pub, phoning every girl name and telling to keep their hands away from me. Sick, I agree, but TiT.

[RonD]

This one sounds like a "nut case". Good luck, but if I were you, I would ease out of it.

He, he... But seriously it's a sound recommendation from you (as well as the others).

On the other hand - I think we all are potential "nut cases"; it's just depending on how far our buttons are pushed and how strong/weak our stress resistance is at that time. On the more positive side though, she is very beautiful, very loyal, and have really tried hard thus far to change her ways/life for my sake, as far as I can see.

But I'm very well aware (as friends/family) of the situation and I think it's important for all of us to give advice and pointers like these to any guys in these type of situations on the forum. At the mo I'm trying to use all patience, "life experience" and dealing with difficult situations/people/women I have to give her an open chance and see how it goes.

I don't have much to loose, and I've moved out already, however keep in touch and if all is "cool" we stay together weekends and hols and take it from there.

[Briggsy]

RonD

Your description of your missus' behaviour suggests your partner is highly unstable and lacks the ability to trust. I don't know you and you don't know me but, from the info you have provided, this sounds like it is heading to disaster. If I were you, I'd hide the knives and use contraception. Or better, get out of the relationship.

I wish you well.

[HowardJohnson]

My Mrs asked to see the pictures on my phone one night as I had just returned from a business weekend in Phuket and she is quite jealous.

I said "Sure, no problem, I have nothing to hide and do you think I would be stupid enough to have incriminating photos on my phone?"

Oh, how confident I was...

Imagine the look on my face when she asked "Who are they?" and showed me 2 pictures of bargirls!

It took several hours to convince her that the girls must have picked up my phone when I was in the toilet and taken the pictures themselves.

She still doesn't really believe me and occasionally brings it up.

And I know exactly what reaction I am going to get when I tell her I have to go to Phuket again next month...

Oh, the joys of relationships....

;o)

[RonD]

I don't know you and you don't know me but, from the info you have provided, this sounds like it is heading to disaster. If I were you, I'd hide the knives and use contraception. Or better, get out of the relationship.

I wish you well.

Cheers Briggsy - I appreciate the eye-opener (and potential life-saver :-) ) advice. "Easing out" as a2396 nicely put it is a good word to describe my current situation at the moment.

Thus as to refer back to the OP, in severe cases of escalating jealousy related activities, it's probably wise to seriously contemplate to take a step back and ease out....

[Moonrakers]

I have found jealousy to affect my attitude a great deal.

For example an ex-tgf of mine would kick up a fuss whenever I went out for a beer after work, calling me every 10 minutes, giving me shit when I got home and even complaining about the money that I was spending. As a result of this I reacted by expressing my right to have a few beers after work by going out more often and spending more money.

My wife however does not attempt to restrict me whatsoever, as a result I don't feel so 'trapped' and am therefore more willing to stay at home because I am doing so by choice and not because I am told to.