Europeans Flocking To Isaan In Search For Wives

[george]

MIXED MARRIAGES: Isaan Meets West

For better or for worse, Europeans are flocking to the Northeast in search of wives

KHON KAEN: -- Romance can often be cross-cultural. That's especially true in northeastern Thailand, where nearly 20,000 Thai women are currently married to Westerners, most of whom are from Europe.

"Isaan women are more laid back and caring," said German Franz Roecker, 41, who relo-cated to the Northeast after marrying a Thai woman 10 years his junior.

In the past two to three years there has been a phenomenal rise in the number of such cross-cultural marriages, resulting in social, economic and other impacts on the Northeast's rural society.

The latest study by the National Economic and Social Devel-opment Board (NESDB) reveal-ed that most couples, while spending most of their time together abroad, often visited the female partner's home town when winter gripped Europe as well as during their annual long holidays.

Many couples have also chosen the Northeast as their permanent home.

Germany's Roecker told The Nation there were a number of reasons why Western males opted to marry a Thai woman.

First, the working conditions at home, in his case Germany, are more stressful than here. Second, the weather in Europe is harsh, especially during winter. Third, many men prefer women from the northeastern provinces because of their caring attitude.

Roecker, a businessman, met his wife Chantee in Bangkok eight years ago. They got married two years later.

He said he had fallen in love with not only the woman but also Issan culture, the local community and its people, prompting him to settle here.

"Most women in Europe are trained to stay on their own. German women, in particular, are typically independent and career-oriented, while Isaan women are so different," said Roecker, who recently set up a solar-products company here.

While cross-cultural marriages have become increasingly popular, England's Howard Roscoe, 57, who runs a resort business here, said adapting to each other's different culture was always a major challenge for couples.

According to Roscoe, who has been married to a Thai woman from Kra Nuen district of Khon Kaen for 16 years, not all Thai-Western marriages tell a happy tale and many end in separation.

As one of the first Westerners to settle in a Khon Khaen village, Roscoe has seen the rise and fall of many mixed marriages. He met his wife Chaowanee 16 years ago when he returned to Kra Nuen to offer thanks to an elderly woman who had helped cure him of blood poisoning.

That lady was Chaowanee's grandmother.

Roscoe and other Westerners here explained that difficulty in adapting to expected gender roles could be a major barrier to a happy marriage.

Referring to the rural Thai saying that posits women as the hind legs of an elephant and men as the front legs, Roscoe said this often causes a clash with foreign men who are accustomed to a more equal footing.

Another challenge to cross-cultural marriages is the language. Many Thai wives do not speak a great deal of English while their spouses struggle equally with Thai, let lone the Isaan dialect.

'It was really hard at the start of our relationship, considering Chris and I could speak very little English. He had to give me French lessons every day," said Wanpen, wife of French policeman Christopher Monroe, 53.

Wanpen said she had met Monroe two years ago through her best friend, who was married to an Englishman.

Financial stability is often an attraction for northeastern women who are considering marrying a foreigner. For example, Wanpen said she had two children from her previous marriage to look after.

"Although my financial situation has not improved hugely, now I can be sure that there is money every month. I also have an income from a beauty salon in Buriram," she said.

Chaowanee noted that some Thai women, however, were in it purely for the money.

"These women think all Westerners are rich, so they don't pay much attention to other factors such as whether they will have a happy relationship. That is a wrong attitude, and at the end of the day both partners will suffer," she said.

--The nation 2004-11-14

-------------

Trophy husbands are on the rise in the Northeast

The sight of foreign men buying produce at local markets, stumbling through Thai phrases in local Isaan dialect and singing Mor-lum songs has become commonplace in Buriram and other northeastern provinces.

In the past few years Buriram has earned the distinction of being one of Thailand’s most metropolitan provinces in terms of mixed marriages. It even hosted a welcoming party for foreign spouses and in-laws to strengthen community bonds two years ago.

Nattakant Akrapongpisak, who teaches at a local high school, said there were many mixed couples in her grandparents’ district, Prakonechai. Most Thai women in the area met their foreign partners through relatives or neighbours, she said. Many forego raising a new family because they often have children from previous marriages.

“The important quality of Thai wives is the way they take care of their husbands.

“Besides, foreign partners don’t have to worry about paying alimony if they get divorced,” she added.

Nattakant said the majority of Thai wives moved to their spouse’s country. They often return to Buriram in September and stay for a month.

Somchai Nil-athi, a professor at the Faculty of Humanities at Mahasarakham University, explained that the number of mixed couples had increased over the last decade because many women saw this as a way to improve their social status. This phenomenon particularly affects divorced women with no higher education, he said.

Thai society has become slowly estranged from its Buddhist roots in favour of materialism, prompting women to marry into wealth as a barometer of success, he said.

“They get money from their husbands to pay their debts, build a new house and host a religious-merit ceremony. They become richer, and society accepts them with open arms,” he added.

--The Nation 2004-11-14

[udon]

They become richer, and society accepts them with open arms,” he added.

FACE again!

I wonder what the source was for the figure of 20,000 farangs.

[Duke of Lions]

Pff, like all Thai woman marry out of financial benefit...

Happy to say that is not the case with me,

and me and her are very happy!

(although not married yet)

[dr_Pat_Pong]

They become richer, and society accepts them with open arms,” he added.

FACE again!

I wonder what the source was for the figure of 20,000 farangs.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

A bit of a guess I reckon

[chonburi]

Older falangs are more likely to stay and support them than the Thai guys. You notice many of them have children already where are the Thai husbands? Once the fun of probably two incomes and a young girl mutates into four mouths to feed on one income the Thai husband is likely to move off to pastures new. The bargain can be a good one from both sides as long as the Falang isn't expected to support the extended family too.

[Lourens]

As far as Thai woman caring for their husbands go, I can confirm that 100%. I have been jobless now for almost six months while the wife is running a small bussines which I helped her set up. Not once in all this time have I heard her complain that I should get a job. If I need anything, she will buy it for me without question. I am looking for a job again as it would be nice to have a little extra money every month. But my wife is a blessing and I love her very much.

[pschef]

Pff, like all Thai woman marry out of financial benefit...

Happy to say that is not the case with me,

and me and her are very happy!

(although not married yet)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hope you don't get dissapointed Duke. all GF including Thai eventually become wifes. Tends to change the playing field a bit, of course then like some of us we get children

[Flummoxed]

I give my Isaan girl a reasonable monthly allowance... more than enough for her and her 2 kids. She recently told me about her Brother getting his girlfriend up the duff, meaning they must marry urgently. Her Mother instructed her to ask me for 30,000 baht to help pay the dowry for him.

My response of 'F@cj 6ff xxx amndk w@@';;.,fsf-e' conveyed the fact that there was no way I was going to bail the stupid &lt;deleted&gt; for not wearing a condom and that it wasn't my problem.

Did I do the right thing?

[BillyZ]

While is not too hard to find a woman to wait on you hand and foot, which is what I gather some of these guys in the article are looking for, I've found that the women from Isaan (my wife of 5 years and best friend of 9 years included) just tend to be more practical and reasonable in daily life.

For better or worse, I've also found that many of the Isaan girls tend to have the same sort of childish and (sometimes) sick sense of humor that I have, which makes for good fun. At the same time, there is a sense of values and morals which is lacking in a lot of the women (and men, me included) in western society.

To me, the Isaan culture is the heart of Thai society. The values and traditions in that region are celebrated in many of the other provinces (probably because so many of the people have migrated out of Isaan). At the same time, the "black" people of Isaan are looked down on by the light skinned northerners and Bangkokians. So with this in mind, I don't really worry too much that at some level I am, and always will be, looked down upon in much the same way. I will always be 'farang' (a somewhat derogatory term, for sure).

And if you’ve ever been in a small Isaan village for even a couple of days, you know how laid back, simple and peaceful life can be there. It never really hits me until I come back to the city.

[BillyZ]

Did I do the right thing?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You did the right thing. Hold your ground and don't give in. Pay 500 baht for an abortion, maybe. But don't pay 30,000 for her dowry. If worse comes to worse, they don't get married, she has the baby anyway and you save your money. If they cop an attitude because you didn't help out, that's their issue.

[Flummoxed]

Did I do the right thing?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You did the right thing. Hold your ground and don't give in. Pay 500 baht for an abortion, maybe. But don't pay 30,000 for her dowry. If worse comes to worse, they don't get married, she has the baby anyway and you save your money. If they cop an attitude because you didn't help out, that's their issue.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

500 baht for an abortion... really?! Is that all? What if you were to go to a decent hospital and pay a decent doctor to do it on the sly (as it's illegal in LOS, I beleive). Anyone know the going rate?

[chonabot]

Did I do the right thing?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You did the right thing. Hold your ground and don't give in. Pay 500 baht for an abortion, maybe. But don't pay 30,000 for her dowry. If worse comes to worse, they don't get married, she has the baby anyway and you save your money. If they cop an attitude because you didn't help out, that's their issue.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

500 baht for an abortion... really?! Is that all? What if you were to go to a decent hospital and pay a decent doctor to do it on the sly (as it's illegal in LOS, I beleive). Anyone know the going rate?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I believe 500 will get the act done , in a hospital as well.

[thaigene2]

For better or worse, I've also found that many of the Isaan girls tend to have the same sort of childish and (sometimes) sick sense of humor that I have, which makes for good fun. At the same time, there is a sense of values and morals which is lacking in a lot of the women (and men, me included) in western society.

To me, the Isaan culture is the heart of Thai society. The values and traditions in that region are celebrated in many of the other provinces (probably because so many of the people have migrated out of Isaan). At the same time, the "black" people of Isaan are looked down on by the light skinned northerners and Bangkokians. So with this in mind, I don't really worry too much that at some level I am, and always will be, looked down upon in much the same way. I will always be 'farang' (a somewhat derogatory term, for sure).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes..ditto. Couldn't agree more. But the Isaan women can be the most Jai Ron too! Still, give me a fun loving Isaan woman anyday over the pious phoney Bangkok girls! ..And yes, you'll always be looked down upon Billy!

[thaigene2]

Her Mother instructed her to ask me for 30,000 baht to help pay the dowry for him.

My response .. conveyed the fact that there was no way I was going to bail the stupid &lt;deleted&gt; for not wearing a condom and that it wasn't my problem.

Did I do the right thing?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think you did the right thing. But there is more of a downside than the brother not liking you. Your wife will lose face with her family and certainly won't tell them you said *@&** off. So she'll be p$ss$ed at you too.

Marriages to Thai woman (of any class) by Farangs involve inevitably a 'Love Triangle'. You love your wife (g'friend), she loves her family, and they love your money!

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Her Mother instructed her to ask me for 30,000 baht to help pay the dowry for him.

My response .. conveyed the fact that there was no way I was going to bail the stupid &lt;deleted&gt; for not wearing a condom and that it wasn't my problem.

Did I do the right thing?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think you did the right thing. But there is more of a downside than the brother not liking you. Your wife will lose face with her family and certainly won't tell them you said *@&** off. So she'll be p$ss$ed at you too.

Marriages to Thai woman (of any class) by Farangs involve inevitably a 'Love Triangle'. You love your wife (g'friend), she loves her family, and they love your money!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The guy made his own bed ( so to speak ) and now he gets to lie in it. The 30,000 would be gone forever. That's a bit too costly for someone else's mistake.

[Narachon]

If the Europeans are going to Issan for wives, where do Americans go for theirs?

[valleyman]

Problem is that Thai women tend to get old and gnarly at an earlier age than their western counterparts. There are some guys who change girls as they would change a car for the latest, glittery sexy model. That's when the meea noi steps in. Maybe that works for a Thai male, but for a farang it can spell TROUBLE.........remember our old chum the one-legged-german. Ans what did happen to him, by the way?

[stroll]

While many of the westrners looking for an Isaan wife seem to be uncomfortable with gender roles in modern society, they seem to be similarily uncapable of adjusting to Thai values without permanently moaning about what is expected of them.

[h5kaf]

QUOTE(Flummoxed @ 2004-11-14 03:34:46)

QUOTE(BillyZ @ 2004-11-14 10:26:49)

QUOTE(Flummoxed @ 2004-11-14 10:11:41)

QUOTE(chonabot @ 2004-11-14 10:37:34]

500 baht for an abortion... really?! Is that all? What if you were to go to a decent hospital and pay a decent doctor to do it on the sly (as it's illegal in LOS, I beleive). Anyone know the going rate?

I believe 500 will get the act done , in a hospital as well.

It is not illegal to have an abortion in LOS. So long as the doctor is satisfied that there is a good clinical reason he/she will approve or undertake a D&C which in the very early stages is all that is necessary. My experience is that the two potential parents merely have to inform the doctor that they do not want the baby. The procedure is short in an out in an hour or so. However it is never this simple as in future months the baby that might have been will appear in the mind of one or both.

On the issue of payment for the dowry. After it is paid you would not be the first to hear the happy news that it was a false alarm and there is no baby. Even if there is a baby, if you pay the dowry this will be the first of many calls on your finances - buffalo can die very often, family members get sick, and the family just generally needs money. One more human money tree is welcomed into the warm arms of fabulous Issan.

[Dakhar]

I was involved in a pretty bad acident. It resulted in a open skull fractur.

Anyhow, at the time, my wife was kind of a friend - girlfriend. She was by my side at the hospital every moment, every second. Fact is, she even slept in the hospital bed with me. She is rather small, and there was room for the both of us.

With the way hospitals are so understaffed now in the states, I guess no one minded. Any how, as I said she was by my side every moment, she saw me at my worst, but yet she was still there for me...

We were married shortly after I recovered. The truth is, I had an American gf I had been dateing off and on for almost 2 years, and I thought we were close. That girl, didn't even visit me at the hospital, and by the time she called to check up on me, I had been released.

I am thankful for my Thai wife, and thankful I survived. Yes, she does take care of me. At the time we got together, I really did not have much to offer financially, but she was still crazy over me. So I don't think she was "in to me" for money... She is just a big hearted kind woman, and I got lucky.

That is just some of the stories that we share together....

[snoophound]

Disagree completely,what age are you thinking

my lady is 41 and looks 30 ,her sis is 49 and looks 40

my ex wife is 35 and looks 45,her friends look fat and fifty.

Agree once over the 55-60 mark they tend to go downhill but then we are all loh mak mak

Problem is that Thai women tend to get old and gnarly at an earlier age than their western counterparts. There are some guys who change girls as they would change a car for the latest, glittery sexy model. That's when the meea noi steps in. Maybe that works for a Thai male, but for a farang it can spell TROUBLE.........remember our old chum the one-legged-german. Ans what did happen to him, by the way?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[snoophound]

Old American saying

"if it flys ,drives f....s or floats lease it

If the Europeans are going to Issan for wives, where do  Americans go for theirs? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Khun Larry]

Pff, like all Thai woman marry out of financial benefit...

Happy to say that is not the case with me,

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Always the last to know

[toastwars]

For better or for worse, Europeans are flocking to the Northeast in search of wives

Is that Teeside or Tyneside?

Find it harder to swallow than a week old stottie.

[toastwars]

Pff, like all Thai woman marry out of financial benefit...

Happy to say that is not the case with me,

and me and her are very happy!

(although not married yet)

Lets see how happy you are when all her brothers decide to give up work and expect you to pay all the bills for their various wives/girlfriend/kids ect, pay for all the medical expences for close and extended family, replace the wrecked scooter for drunk uncle Tum, and all the rest

[toastwars]

I give my Isaan girl a reasonable monthly allowance... more than enough for her and her 2 kids. She recently told me about her Brother getting his girlfriend up the duff, meaning they must marry urgently. Her Mother instructed her to ask me for 30,000 baht to help pay the dowry for him.

My response of 'F@cj 6ff xxx amndk w@@';;.,fsf-e' conveyed the fact that there was no way I was going to bail the stupid &lt;deleted&gt; for not wearing a condom and that it wasn't my problem.

Did I do the right thing?

You Havn't heard the last of it!!!!

[MssrJonh]

. . . I've found that the women from Isaan . . . just tend to be more practical and reasonable in daily life.

For better or worse, I've also found that many of the Isaan girls tend to have the same sort of childish and (sometimes) sick sense of humor that I have, which makes for good fun. At the same time, there is a sense of values and morals which is lacking in a lot of the women (and men, me included) in western society.

To me, the Isaan culture is the heart of Thai society. The values and traditions in that region are celebrated in many of the other provinces (probably because so many of the people have migrated out of Isaan). At the same time, the "black" people of Isaan are looked down on by the light skinned northerners and Bangkokians. So with this in mind, I don't really worry too much that at some level I am, and always will be, looked down upon in much the same way. I will always be 'farang' (a somewhat derogatory term, for sure).

And if you’ve ever been in a small Isaan village for even a couple of days, you know how laid back, simple and peaceful life can be there. It never really hits me until I come back to the city.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

BillyZ,

I happen to be marrying my Isaan sweetheart in December. After 41 years on this earth, she is the first woman I have ever met who is as crazy, silly, funny and loving as me. Her family is delightful and true. She has a son from her marriage (her husband died in an accident several years ago) and wants more children with me, so we are both very happy for our future. Her son is awesome!

I'd met my first Thai woman in Singapore some five years ago, and through her, networked my way into Thailand, having vistited 5 times now, from Ayutthaya to Phi Phi Islands . . . but my fiance is unbelievable in her love and devotion to me (I've spoken to her brother-in-law, a Brit expat who married her older sister several years ago, happily!), and her patient in light of our situation (I live is US, with a very good job, but want to move to Thailand . . . and you all now what a pain that is for a 41 year old farang!) I just know that we're going to make it work.

I understand her need for security, as she understands my need for her on many levels. I loved Thailand the minute I set foot there (after ten years of business travels to Hong Kong, China and Singapore), and knew I would eventually live there (I've lived in the Pacific Northwest my entire life).

And now we will see. (This is my first post after years of membership)

Cheers,

John

[Flummoxed]

It is not illegal to have an abortion in LOS. So long as the doctor is satisfied that there is a good clinical reason he/she will approve or undertake a D&C which in the very early stages is all that is necessary. My experience is that the two potential parents merely have to inform the doctor that they do not want the baby. The procedure is short in an out in an hour or so. However it is never this simple as in future months the baby that might have been will appear in the mind of one or both.

h5kaf, abortion IS illegal in Thailand... but it is possible to find a doctor who doesn't agree with legislation and IF he feels there is a legitimate reason for the abortion, he will break the rules at great risk to him and his staff. Trust me, i've gone through this nightmare.

[sabaijai]

Isaan culture is the heart of Thai society

... or the heart of Lao society, some might argue.

Truth is Thailand has several cultural hearts, eg, northern, Isaan, Bangkok, southern. But Thai nationhood developed in the north, and that region, not Isaan, is considered the heart of Thai society by the majority of Thais.

Contrary to popular myth, the north is also statistically the most poverty-stricken region in thailand, Isaan being second in line.

Yet Isaan women seek out foreign husbands at a higher rate than northern Thais, suggesting that poverty isn't the only motivator. Some observers have suggested that seeking a foreign husband is a Lao cultural trait dating to French occupation, though of course the seeking of money and status through marriage outside one's own culture also exists in Thai society and obviously just about every other culture around the world. Just a bit more so in Laos/Isaan ...

Edited November 14, 2004 by sabaijai

[PETERTHEEATER]

The foreigners flocking to Isaan to find Thai brides are too late. I got the best one 33 years ago and there may not be many good 'uns left.

I am pleased to note from members of this forum that others are satisfied and happy with their Isaan partners however, there are a lot of gold diggers out there so for new suitors, caveat emptor!