Can You Guys Help Me Correcting English?

[apocadelic]

Hey Guys...Can you help me out on this? I made a dialog about the hotel and I need some help to make it formal and correct. Could you help me pls?

Here it is":

S. Good morning, the Peninsula hotel. May I help you?

T. Good morning. I’d like to make a reservation for Mr. Marat Safin while he comes to Thailand in the Thailand Open tournament. Could you recommend the best suite for me?

S. Excuse me, ma’am. May I know when he will arrive here?

T. He’ll arrive there on Nov 20 and he will stay for a week.

S. During that time, we‘d recommend the Peninsula suite as it sits high on the top of the hotel. Its features include both formal and private dining rooms, a full-equipped fitness centre, private study room, 2 sumptuous bedrooms and lavish bathrooms.

T. What would you offer in the private study room?

S. We provide a color TV and multi-laser disc player.

T. Alright, he also needs a few bodyguards and a police car to lead his way too. Do you also have these kinds of services?

S. Of course. We can offer those kinds of services and would you like us to offer the chaurffer-driven Mercedes Benz S class while he attends in Thailand?

T. That sounds nice. How much do you charge per day?

S. We charge $100 per day, ma’am.

T. Do you have a tennis court?

S. Certainly, we provide two floodlit tennis courts. It opens everyday at 6Am-11PM.

Would you interested in the Thai traditional massage in our hotel? Because there is service available in the privacy of his own room?

T. Great. I’d like to have that room then.

S. May I have your name?

T. I’m Tattaya but my boss names Mr. Marat Safin.

S. Could you please spell his name?

T. M-A-R-A-T S-A-F-I-N

S. may I have his credit card no. and your telephone no?

T. Ok. His credit card is 456789. My number is ( 520) 6667789

S. Thank you for calling. I’m looking forward to seeing him in Thailand. Goodbye.

T. Goodbye.

[stumonster]

while he comes to Thailand in the Thailand Open

while he is in thailand for the thailand open

It opens everyday at 6Am-11PM

they are open everyday between 6AM and 11PM

Would you interested in the Thai traditional massage in our hotel? Because there is service available in the privacy of his own room?

Would he be interested in the Thai traditional massage at our hotel, because( maybe 'and' would be a better word here) this service is available in the privacy of his own room?

and then I got bored

[p_brownstone]

At US $ 100 per day; please book me that Suite for the whole of 2005 - 2006.

But I would prefer my Mercedes to be driven by a little hottie in a Uniform of my own design - details to follow when you confirm my Reservation!

Patrick

Well, a chap can dream can't he!?

[Ajarn]

Hey Guys...Can you help me out on this? I made a dialog about the hotel and I need some help to make it formal and correct. Could you help me pls?

Here it is":

S. Good morning, the Peninsula hotel. May I help you?

T. Good morning. I’d like to make a reservation for Mr. Marat Safin while he comes to Thailand in the Thailand Open tournament. Could you recommend the best suite for me?

S. Excuse me, ma’am. May I know when he will arrive here?

T. He’ll arrive there on Nov 20 and he will stay for a week.

S. During that time, we‘d recommend the Peninsula suite as it sits high on the top of the hotel. Its features include both formal and private dining rooms, a full-equipped fitness centre, private study room, 2 sumptuous bedrooms and lavish bathrooms.

T. What would you offer in the private study room?

S. We provide a color TV and multi-laser disc player.

T. Alright, he also needs a few bodyguards and a police car to lead his way too. Do you also have these kinds of services?

S. Of course. We can offer those kinds of services and would you like us to offer the chaurffer-driven Mercedes Benz S class while he attends in Thailand?

T. That sounds nice. How much do you charge per day?

S. We charge $100 per day, ma’am.

T. Do you have a tennis court?

S. Certainly, we provide two floodlit tennis courts. It opens everyday at 6Am-11PM.

Would you interested in the Thai traditional massage in our hotel? Because there is service available in the privacy of his own room?

T. Great. I’d like to have that room then.

S. May I have your name?

T. I’m Tattaya but my boss names Mr. Marat Safin.

S. Could you please spell his name?

T. M-A-R-A-T  S-A-F-I-N

S. may I have his credit card no. and your telephone no?

T. Ok. His credit card is 456789. My number is ( 520) 6667789

S. Thank you for calling. I’m looking forward to seeing him in Thailand. Goodbye.

T. Goodbye.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just too many mistakes. Not written by a native speaker, I'd say. Or maybe an American.

Hey! Joking, na'?

[Sulaphat]

Just too many mistakes. Not written by a native speaker, I'd say. Or maybe an American.

Hey! Joking, na'?   

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Actually a possibly correct assumption about it being from an American. It may have been written by a Brazilian, Mexican, Peruvian, or someone from any number of countries in the Americas which are not predominately English speaking.

[Ajarn]

Just too many mistakes. Not written by a native speaker, I'd say. Or maybe an American.

Hey! Joking, na'?    

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Actually a possibly correct assumption about it being from an American. It may have been written by a Brazilian, Mexican, Peruvian, or someone from any number of countries in the Americas which are not predominately English speaking.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

All Americans, too, na'?

But this student said they wrote this, and I'm guessing (again) that he/she is Thai.

I would change a lot if I had the energy.... Not really serious mistakes, though. The points all are easily understood, I think.

[petedk]

But this student said they wrote this, and I'm guessing (again) that he/she is Thai.

Hi Ajarn

Where did you study English??????

"this student"..."they" ??????

[petedk]

and then I got bored 

I agree with you stumonster. Often there are so many mistakes in the writing that it would be easier to rewrite the whole passage.

People often ask me to correct their writing but it would be easier and faster to sit with them from the beginning rather than to correct their work.

[igotworms]

Send this to the "Teaching in Thailand" forum, I'm sure some of them would get enjoyment from correcting this. I'm too lazy to bother.

[divndave]

can't be an American sounds to polite

[Ajarn]

But this student said they wrote this, and I'm guessing (again) that he/she is Thai.

Hi Ajarn

Where did you study English??????

"this student"..."they" ??????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

they

· pron. [third person pl.]

1 used to refer to two or more people or things previously mentioned or easily identified. Ø people in general. Ø informal people in authority regarded collectively.

2 used to refer to a person of unspecified sex (in place of either ‘he’ or ‘he or she’).

– ORIGIN ME: from ON their, nominative pl. masc. of sá.

Look before you leap, foolish man

[toklong]

My advice....Dont correct English,they get too defensive