Farang Couples

[darbs]

I am hoping to relocate to Thailand sometime in the New Year with my wife. We are both farang and have been wondering if there are many more couples like ourselves that have settled in Thailand?

[ProfessorFart]

Theres quite a few. My missus came with me on my last stint and had a ball.

[Simbo]

:c It's like taking coal to Newcastle, but i'm sure there are many. The visa runs might be a bind.

[ProfessorFart]

It's like taking coal to Newcastle, but i'm sure there are many

I just slipped her a purple every morning and then she had a moody strop for the rest of the day to make it a more authentic experience!

[marquess]

Many do come, but how many survive?

[ProfessorFart]

Many do come, but how many survive?

I reckon a good few. Not every bloke gets excited by the gogo bars or is stupid enough to get suckered into the whole Thai Girl illusion.

[ProfessorFart]

darbs,

To elaborate further on my first reply, living abroad as a couple can put a big strain on a relationship and especially in Thailand. If your other half is going to be working too then this will take a lot of strain off the relationship even if its part time work or voluntary work because then at least you have something to talk about and she won't feel like shes going nowhere while you're doing all the interesting stuff.

Even though you may have no intention of indulging in any naughtiness, I would say that even the most trusting of wifes or girlfriends would feel a little insecure especially with the reputation of the nightlife. The best thing you can do is to confront the issue face on, maybe even visit a few bars and let her see that it is all pretty toothless and false in reality. Imagine how yo may feel if you were going to be settling in Tunisia or Morrocco where women go to pay for sex.

Another huge problem that a Western female may face is loneliness and boredom especially if you are working and she isn't.

Thailand's expat scene is male dominated and orientated to say the least and you will find yourself picking up a lot more casual friends (not the type you pay for sex either) than your missus.

If shes the out going type whos OK with going out with you and your mates every now and again then this will help, but even then you both need your own friends and because you can't do everything together 24/7 and your mates,as they are at home, are an important outlet. Try and get her to meet mate's girlfriends and go on girls nights out with them as they would at home. This helps to increase her feeling of independence and will also reduce her dependence on you.

One big thing is to try and transfer your shared interests from home to your new life in Thailand. If you fall into the beer with the lads treadmill every evening, she'll be home with in a month.

Me and my missus were lucky that we had shared interests such as I love fishing and she loves sunbathing while I fished, and we both enjoy the cinema, and bars of all descriptions and so on and so forth.

Believe it or not, the male half of the relationship running off with a bar girl is seldom the cause of a breakdown in a relationship.

Things start to break down when one or other of you begins to feel trapped. I've known mates who after work want to do similar things than they used to do at home e.g. going out with the lads, or slobbing out on the couch. They seem to forget that the missus has been at home all day without the support network thay may have had at home and might want to get out of the house at night.

Make an effort to learn about Thailand and Thai culture as well. The more you understand about the country around you the more avenues will open up for you to enjoy.

At the end of the day its hard work but well worth it.

Hope this helps.

[lemon]

i've often pondered on this topic in the past cos i've known in all about 6 or 7 farang couples out there in LoS during my time there and all but 1 of those couples didn't last more than a couple of years at the most with the exception of a swiss couple -he was expat management at a watch factory and the others were an english couple who had been living in LoS for over 40 years when i knew them...the swiss ones flew straight back to switzerland when his 5 year contract was up...with all the others bar the long-staying english expats the main underlying problem seemed to lie in that they found it v difficult assimilating into thai culture, learning the language and thereby learning to appreciate the positive aspects of LoS...i think most of us manage to do this primarily thru our girl/boyfriends, their families and their friends which, of course isnt an opportunity easily gained by couples who come from a totally different continent to the locals, that is, unless, of course, they have a very open marriage ...these people tend, over a little bit of time, to become disillusioned because for them the bad things outweigh the good things by a mile...also there's also the point that they're seeing all these mega-fit thai women (and blokes, for all i know)out and about all the time but neither of them is allowed to cop off with anyone when they see all the single expats out having a good time

[dugdig]

Some western women are not comfortable when they see the openness of the sex industsry here and have a difficult time maintaining their composure if asked to socialize with a bar girl or suspected bar girl.. What I'm trying to say is that you may develop a friendship with a man who has a girlfriend who may have been a bar girl and your wife may be uncomfortable in social situations with them..etc.

[Flummoxed]

Many do come, but how many survive?

I reckon a good few. Not every bloke gets excited by the gogo bars or is stupid enough to get suckered into the whole Thai Girl illusion.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My illusion seems pretty real to me.

[SK1972]

Some western women are not comfortable when they see the openness of the sex industsry here and have a difficult time maintaining their composure if asked to socialize with a bar girl or suspected bar girl.. What I'm trying to say is that you may develop a friendship with a man who has a girlfriend who may have been a bar girl and your wife may be uncomfortable in social situations with them..etc.

Dugdig, I wouldnt agree with your statement. It's not that we do not want to socialise with the bargirls, it's just that we have nothing in common with them and let's be realistic...........how many of them speak proper English for us to be able to communicate properly???

I have "couple friends", Farang men married to Thai women (not bargirls) and even with them I have nothing much in common......all they are interested in are fashion and shopping , not my cup of tea.

Darbs.....Prof Fart is right. Your wife may get bored if she is not working or has friends........so its better off she meets some expat women working here/here with their husbands. You can always ask her to register and try BNOW (Bangkok Network of Women) or PM me for more details. I know another farang couple moving to Bangkok in Feb 2005.

[ProfessorFart]

Some western women are not comfortable when they see the openness of the sex industsry here and have a difficult time maintaining their composure if asked to socialize with a bar girl or suspected bar girl.. What I'm trying to say is that you may develop a friendship with a man who has a girlfriend who may have been a bar girl and your wife may be uncomfortable in social situations with them..etc.

I've found totally the opposite to be the case. Once they get under the popular misconceptions about the scene many Western women find it a real eye opener and feel very comfortable in their company.

[dugdig]

Some western women are not comfortable when they see the openness of the sex industsry here and have a difficult time maintaining their composure if asked to socialize with a bar girl or suspected bar girl.. What I'm trying to say is that you may develop a friendship with a man who has a girlfriend who may have been a bar girl and your wife may be uncomfortable in social situations with them..etc.

I've found totally the opposite to be the case. Once they get under the popular misconceptions about the scene many Western women find it a real eye opener and feel very comfortable in their company.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree comletely that many Western women will have no problem with the scene but I have know western women who go ballistic with the mention of the scene and if I were to bring a western wife with me to Thailand, even if it was for only two weeks, I would have a sit down facae to face discussion with her to make sure that she realizes she will almost assuredly encounter this etc. No need 'surprising' someone with a situation.....

[ProfessorFart]

if I were to bring a western wife with me to Thailand, even if it was for only two weeks, I would have a sit down facae to face discussion with her to make sure that she realizes she will almost assuredly encounter this etc. No need 'surprising' someone with a situation.....

If you see my earlier post, the best thing anyone can do is to take their missus and let them see the scene for themselves and see how tame it all is. The only Western women who freak out are the ones who either catch their husbands &lt;deleted&gt; deep in a BG or those full of Lonely Planet wisdom when it comes to the scene.