From: "why Those Beautiful Thai Women Fall For Us,farang

[Fun2Fun]

ohhh..i always assumed that Thai women have to be some of the least shallow women in the world ... Since everywhere you go you can see slim young beautiful girls together with plain to ugly partners. (And i am not taking with farang now, but with Thai partners)

So they have to be more concerned about inner beauty and good heart , than just looks...right?

Or am i being naive? :D

[drronnie]

ohhh..i always assumed that Thai women have to be some of the least shallow women in the world ... Since everywhere you go you can see slim young beautiful girls together with plain to ugly partners. (And i am not taking with farang now, but with Thai partners)

So they have to be more concerned about inner beauty and good heart , than just looks...right?

Or am i being naive?

Not necessarily naive, because there are nice women out there who choose their partners based on personality. However I also see numbers of "beautiful" girls with rich Thai Chinese guys or high sos who look plain to ugly, especially in place like Emporium or Siam Paragon.

[jcon]

drronnie, have you been hurt by a woman here in Thailand?

[drronnie]

drronnie, have you been hurt by a woman here in Thailand?

No, I have not been hurt by a Thai woman. I am only trying to tell that there are good women and there are bad women. Am I saying that all Thai women are bad? Of course not. I think there are good and evil people everywhere on the world.

Since I am not GOD I cannot see into people's hearts and determine if somebody is a gold digger or sincere. However if many beautiful women walk and hold hands around with rich guys eventhough they treat them like commodities it is a pretty obvious sign. As I used to attend ABAC and I know their calibre and that these high sos are player who do not respect women.

Many years ago I lived in Ekaterinburg for 2 years and I was dating a very beautiful Russian student named Iriana who loved me the way I am with all my quirks. As a guest student I barely had money but she did not care. We helped each other make ends meet. However those "beautiful" girls who hold hands with these high society dudes ad Siam Paragon probably have a different world view as Irina.

[Maigo6]

So you and Irene got married and lived happily ever after ?

Or did she meet a rich guy ?

Edited September 19, 2008 by Maigo6

[drronnie]

So you and Irene got married and lived happily ever after ?

Or did she meet a rich guy ?

When I returned to Germany I sort of lost touch with her. But I we chat a lot and she has married an assistant doctor who is not rich. In Russia doctors do not get a high salary.

[thesunset75]

i notice the beautiful thai girls dont go for farangs!

You obviously are not very good at noticing !

Then I am ugly cuz I always fall for farangs and never fall to Thai guy hehehehe....Honestly, Thai guy always though im not their type.

SO difference for my x-hubby, my ex-bf'sssss

So....how come you ended up in Holland now ? Found the love-of-your-life in cheese country with windmills, coffee shops and beautiful girls ?

LaoPo

Yes love of my life (i think) and my son education future. When we were in BKK he went to International school on Soi4 but way too much accounts/wallet broke, here is free school thought.

Funny huh coffee shop here they dont sell coffee at all, I will try once for a fun.

[Dakhar]

Hey you can make 3 polls.

Where did you meat your wife/husband?

-bar/restaurant

-other

Who made the first move?

-thai

-me

What education does your wife/husband have? Or where does she stand on the social ladder?

-various options possible

That could give a general idea how it is

I'll jump in:

met my wife at my parent's house in the US. (Long story)

Who made the first move? Physically it was me, but regarding emotionaly attachment I would say that was her. But to her credit, she was in the US studying without any friends or family around. I can't say I don't blame her for that... she was really in need of some friendship. I could have been John Kar, and she would have wanted me in her life at that moment in time.

Wife's educational level, MA out of America, me a doctorate out of America. My wallet size was not really a factor, her family in Thailand is not what most Thais would consider poor, most would call them wealthy. But from an American stand point there are comfortable, but by no means rich. Altough, the mother-in-law wants me to think she is Donald Trump or something.

Edited September 19, 2008 by Dakhar

[thesunset75]

i still dont get it.

That's about right.

I think it's partly for ------the sexual fantasy/gratification ……and loneliness - afraid of a lonely existence?…..just wild guess

Sis why you fall for farang ?

For me is other way around, Id say I put spell on my bf hahahaha

Think we should make a new topic why farang foreigners fall for beautiful Thais

[drronnie]

i still dont get it.

That's about right.

I think it's partly for ------the sexual fantasy/gratification ……and loneliness - afraid of a lonely existence?…..just wild guess

Sis why you fall for farang ?

For me is other way around, Id say I put spell on my bf hahahaha

Think we should make a new topic why farang foreigners fall for beautiful Thais

Good idea. I like Thai girls too, but I am too scared to have a disappointment so I do not date anymore.

Edited September 19, 2008 by drronnie

[thesunset75]

i still dont get it.

That's about right.

I think it's partly for ------the sexual fantasy/gratification ……and loneliness - afraid of a lonely existence?…..just wild guess

Sis why you fall for farang ?

For me is other way around, Id say I put spell on my bf hahahaha

Think we should make a new topic why farang foreigners fall for beautiful Thais

Good idea. I like Thai girls too, but I am too scared to have a disappointment so I do not date anymore.

If you always scared, you will never have gfs

[drronnie]

i still dont get it.

That's about right.

I think it's partly for ------the sexual fantasy/gratification ……and loneliness - afraid of a lonely existence?…..just wild guess

Sis why you fall for farang ?

For me is other way around, Id say I put spell on my bf hahahaha

Think we should make a new topic why farang foreigners fall for beautiful Thais

Good idea. I like Thai girls too, but I am too scared to have a disappointment so I do not date anymore.

If you always scared, you will never have gfs

So what can I do? Nowadays it is hard to determine whether someone really loves you or not. But maybe I just have to take the risk.... better a failed love then no love at all...any thoughts?

[coventry]

better a failed love then no love at all...any thoughts?

Yeah get real and do your homework you obviously know nothing about Thailand. Or show that I am wrong.

Edited September 19, 2008 by coventry

[AmeriThai]

So what can I do? Nowadays it is hard to determine whether someone really loves you or not. But maybe I just have to take the risk.... better a failed love then no love at all...any thoughts?

Now you're getting closer to the idea. Love is something that's mutually developed and grows over time between two people. It's a process of exploring the balance give and take between two people that demonstrates the level trust. The more you learn about a person through experience, the better you are able to determine the level of love. Finding the right person requires a willingness to invest a certain amount of trust, but you don't necessarily invest it all at once. You add a little more to the relationship as the bond proves itself and continues to develop. That doesn't mean it's always smooth and perfect. There are ups and downs. Minor differences just show that both partners are individuals with their own unique likes and dislikes but do not disrupt the relationship. Major differences, which may show up early on, could mean it's time to move on and find someone new.

Sometimes when trying to find the right person, it turns out that it just isn't the person you were looking for and its going no where. That's not always a great feeling, but you can learn from the experience of what works and what doesn't. It's not much different than growing up, growing from childhood to adulthood. You have different kinds of relationships along the way with family and friends. Each kind of relationship is different. Some relationships endure and some fade away. It's all a part of the experience of life.

Yes, there are some risks that go along with the search for "the right person". Mostly it's the fear of rejection or disappointment by someone you're attracted to. But life itself is full of risks. I don't think it's necessary to focus on "failed love" of the past. To do so is bound to result in failure from the start. It's better to focus on the objective of looking for the important qualities you and someone else share and have in common, and let it develop on its own. At the same time, if you hold certain unrealistic "standards" too high, then I would think it's likely to fail because you'd always see that the other person never measures up. Keep it real.

It's also reasonable to realize that relationships can be a bit bumpy in the first 5 or so years. But that's all a part of making the adjustment from being single to being in a committed relationship. And ss you continue to learn more about your partner, the relationship can become just as natural as if it has always been that way.

You said earlier that there's no such thing as love, never has been, never will be. That's not true. The problem is trying to define exactly what love is. To me, it's a relationship that involves commitment based on action. My wife and I have been married many years. To me, she's much more than just being my wife. She's also my best friend. And she's proven that to me many, many times. We are together because we care about each other, support each other, and take care of each other. The more years that pass by in our marriage, the more we realize how valuable and important we are to each other. I can look back at all the years we've been together, and feel comfortable and at ease knowing that having her share life together with me was the best choice. She's as much a part of me as my own arm.

Just a few of my thoughts on the subject.

[Chaimai]

So what can I do? Nowadays it is hard to determine whether someone really loves you or not. But maybe I just have to take the risk.... better a failed love then no love at all...any thoughts?

Now you're getting closer to the idea. Love is something that's mutually developed and grows over time between two people. It's a process of exploring the balance give and take between two people that demonstrates the level trust. The more you learn about a person through experience, the better you are able to determine the level of love. Finding the right person requires a willingness to invest a certain amount of trust, but you don't necessarily invest it all at once. You add a little more to the relationship as the bond proves itself and continues to develop. That doesn't mean it's always smooth and perfect. There are ups and downs. Minor differences just show that both partners are individuals with their own unique likes and dislikes but do not disrupt the relationship. Major differences, which may show up early on, could mean it's time to move on and find someone new.

Sometimes when trying to find the right person, it turns out that it just isn't the person you were looking for and its going no where. That's not always a great feeling, but you can learn from the experience of what works and what doesn't. It's not much different than growing up, growing from childhood to adulthood. You have different kinds of relationships along the way with family and friends. Each kind of relationship is different. Some relationships endure and some fade away. It's all a part of the experience of life.

Yes, there are some risks that go along with the search for "the right person". Mostly it's the fear of rejection or disappointment by someone you're attracted to. But life itself is full of risks. I don't think it's necessary to focus on "failed love" of the past. To do so is bound to result in failure from the start. It's better to focus on the objective of looking for the important qualities you and someone else share and have in common, and let it develop on its own. At the same time, if you hold certain unrealistic "standards" too high, then I would think it's likely to fail because you'd always see that the other person never measures up. Keep it real.

It's also reasonable to realize that relationships can be a bit bumpy in the first 5 or so years. But that's all a part of making the adjustment from being single to being in a committed relationship. And ss you continue to learn more about your partner, the relationship can become just as natural as if it has always been that way.

You said earlier that there's no such thing as love, never has been, never will be. That's not true. The problem is trying to define exactly what love is. To me, it's a relationship that involves commitment based on action. My wife and I have been married many years. To me, she's much more than just being my wife. She's also my best friend. And she's proven that to me many, many times. We are together because we care about each other, support each other, and take care of each other. The more years that pass by in our marriage, the more we realize how valuable and important we are to each other. I can look back at all the years we've been together, and feel comfortable and at ease knowing that having her share life together with me was the best choice. She's as much a part of me as my own arm.

Just a few of my thoughts on the subject.

A most eloquent description of love, and I believe that you are fortunate to have developed your own relationship into such a rewarding experience.

[Heng]

Yes, the "beautiful" Thai girls usually go with rich Thai Chinese guys who treat them like commodities. Just take a closer look at what is going on in the celebrity world, where 90 percent of the girls date tycoon sons and business men (look at Buachompoo Ford) and many women try to emulate and looking for some smart rich guy only later to realize that this was a mistake.

Yeah, much better to go for some poor dumb guy.

Why do poor people have to be dumb? Many poor people have a good heart and sincere. I have been in Isaan and the people were very heartly. But many "beautiful" women do no understand friendliness which makes them ugly inside.

And by the way "beauty" is skin deep.

Oh, I meant dumb in the nicest possible way. Dumb to the evil and greed of the "smart and rich" world. I agree that the people of Issan are very heartly indeed. It is a travesty that many "beautiful" women do no understand friendliness.

I agree that "beauty" is only skin deep. In fact "skin" itself also only skin deep.

[LaoPo]

Yes love of my life (i think) and my son education future. When we were in BKK he went to International school on Soi4 but way too much accounts/wallet broke, here is free school thought.

Funny huh coffee shop here they dont sell coffee at all, I will try once for a fun.

You might want to try a piece of spacecake instead smoking....

LaoPo

[Heng]

We cannot say that Thai men are bad and Farang men are good.

Of course we can. Especially when some folks are feeling insecure that her "brother" the motorcycle taxi driver is visiting an awful lot and borrows their underwear. But hey that's the culture, you know, it's different here. Families are very close. They also like to share clothes.

[girlx]

good post amerithai! i think most people are too idealistic in looking for "love". what they are usually looking for is infatuation, which fades. like you said, love grows over time and is based on trust and companionship as well as lust. and you can't really set out with a list of standards and find someone you love- it usually finds you when and where you least expect it. also, it doesn't necessarily always take the form of a long term, committed, traditional relationship. i have had one love relationship which has been very tumultuous, but is still very real love. but just because you love someone doesn't mean you are compatible. etc...

[brahmburgers]

Why do competent farang men with cash fall for some backwards, ignorant rice farmer, from whatthephukaburi with a sick buffalo story??? People are people...people And we all have similar qualities, things like thinking the grass is always greener on the other side, wanting something different that what your used to with the perception of it somehow being better, ect. General lists of how Thai men are all "XYZ" and Thai women are all "ABC" is silly and futile. Its more about the one who seeks out a partner from a different culture and what THEY think. As opposed to the reality of what their mate may be.

Even though that's a rhetorical question (the answer inferred), I'll give a shot at answering it.

As mentioned earlier, farang men who come to Thailand are usually one to three decades older than the Thai gals they chase after. That's not a reason in itself, but it leads to a few scenarios, to wit, older farang like trying to snag a "backwards, ignorant rice farmer, from whatthephukaburi with a sick buffalo story" because....

>>>> the gals are cute. Plus, in some ways, it's not unlike having a sassy daughter to deal with.

>>>> the gal's innocence of youth that can't be found in datable gals in their own countries.

>>>> ....plus impulsiveness, and zaniness that's all too lacking in the farang women that the guys are expected to date - women close to their age.

>>>> a guy (indeed everyone) likes to be a sugar daddy. Hey, if giving a few flowers or some chocolates to a gal can elicit squeals of joy and a hug (or more), then let's go back to the confectionery store and get some more.

>>>> There's not much conversation between a farang guy and a Thai gal. Most farang guys have spent tons of hours discussing things with their ex-wives/girlfriends in farangland. It's such a reeeeelief to have things be so much simpler with a giggling gal who speaks about 20 words of broken English. Those long conversations in their previous incarnation were termed 'processing'. Processing may be good for cheese or sausages, but it's a drag for guys who want to get on with their lives.

>>>> There are 3 things that a person can get committed to: An insane asylum a marriage or a relationship. Some guys just want to enjoy freedom. Leave commitment for dems dat want to be cooped up - or who are spooked by being alone.

[junkofdavid2]

Because a lot of those "beautiful" Thai women who go for farangs actually aren't usually considered the "beautiful type" by rich Asian men.

The 'not beautiful' Thai girls (i.e. chinese/japanese 'little girl cute' look or tall chinese type) are the ones considered prettier by richer Thai men, and those types of Thai girls usually do not go for farang if given the choice.

Edited September 19, 2008 by junkofdavid2

[Jimjim]

i notice the beautiful thai girls dont go for farangs!

Let me guess, you're a farang woman? Anything to diss those white guys that date Thai girls?

Anyway, this is a funny and interesting topic. Not all beautiful Thai girls are celebrities. Some of them don't want farang guys yes, but even some beautiful girls and some beautiful celebrities marry farang. So it's not a hard and fast rule. I admit sometimes I shake my head when I see a young, handsome farang guy who should be with someone more his looks when he is with some overweight, extremely plain and even ugly looking Thai girl (saw a real strikingly ugly, plain girl with just such a guy once and was astonished, I know I'm being harsh and there's inner beauty and all that, but I was thinking how a Thai would look at it and I'm sure most Thais would be even more astonished). Then there are the old dudes that have some girl and you meet them and he says, "Isn't she beautiful? She's gorgeous!" And I want to tell him she is far from beautiful and just very plain compared to the stunners I see every day. I want to tell them that she only seems beautiful to him because she's so much younger than him and "exotic."

But yes, I've seen plenty of good looking Thai girls with farang and I'm saying these are very good looking girls. I think each man has certain standards. Sadly, if a girl is really butt ugly, or some feature that completely turns me off, I will not even consider it. But looks aren't everything, they're just the first thing. If you date them for a while and see their ugly inner beauty than it's off with her. I've done it before. But if there is some connection and you love them for who they are, then it's great. For me to get the initial infatuation, however, there has to be something physically attractive about them. My last Thai girlfriend I know isn't a stunner to everyone, but she is quite cute, and after being with her for a while she was very beautiful to me.

[sbk]

Um, no JimJim, I am pretty sure that Stephanee is a man. A trollish one to be sure tho

[Boo]

quite right sbk, but jimjim couldn't help but take the bate.

[Jimjim]

It's "bait." I actually figured he was but it worked well for the point I was trying to make. Guess Boo thinks I'm a fish.

I have heard foreigner women say things like that, though, so I was talking to them retroactively.

Edited September 19, 2008 by Jimjim

[sbk]

Making assumptions, aren't you? I have many good friends with Thai girlfriends. not a problem with that at all. why should I as long as they are happy? What I do dislike are men who make assumptions about all western women based on very little or no information at all .

Anyway, once again, this old topic has been done to death so many times and always ends up with people turning nasty, don't you think?

[AmeriThai]

A most eloquent description of love, and I believe that you are fortunate to have developed your own relationship into such a rewarding experience.

I was fortunate to have met my wife through friends. We're both close in age (she's 4 years younger) and became good friends for about a year or so. It gave us enough time to get to know each other. We're both getting on in our years now, and have been learning about each other ever since. We were married on Christmas Day, so I guess there's no excuse for me to forget our anniversary. LOL!

I suspect drronnie may have had a relationship that had an unhappy ending, and is having a hard time sorting though some confusing and hurt feelings. It'll pass and he can get on with his life. There are lots of good ladies out there (imo), and many are real gemstones. Mine is!

[Jimjim]

Making assumptions, aren't you? I have many good friends with Thai girlfriends. not a problem with that at all. why should I as long as they are happy? What I do dislike are men who make assumptions about all western women based on very little or no information at all .

Anyway, once again, this old topic has been done to death so many times and always ends up with people turning nasty, don't you think?

Who's making things nasty? You are seeing things that are not there. I never said you said anything, I only said I'd heard western women say things like that before so I was talking to them in my head. I never made any assumptions about all western women I was only speaking to the fact that some western women make assumptions about all western men and Thai women relationships. Methinks you're being too sensitive.

Please disregard if you were not talking to me.

[drronnie]

So what can I do? Nowadays it is hard to determine whether someone really loves you or not. But maybe I just have to take the risk.... better a failed love then no love at all...any thoughts?

Now you're getting closer to the idea. Love is something that's mutually developed and grows over time between two people. It's a process of exploring the balance give and take between two people that demonstrates the level trust. The more you learn about a person through experience, the better you are able to determine the level of love. Finding the right person requires a willingness to invest a certain amount of trust, but you don't necessarily invest it all at once. You add a little more to the relationship as the bond proves itself and continues to develop. That doesn't mean it's always smooth and perfect. There are ups and downs. Minor differences just show that both partners are individuals with their own unique likes and dislikes but do not disrupt the relationship. Major differences, which may show up early on, could mean it's time to move on and find someone new.

Sometimes when trying to find the right person, it turns out that it just isn't the person you were looking for and its going no where. That's not always a great feeling, but you can learn from the experience of what works and what doesn't. It's not much different than growing up, growing from childhood to adulthood. You have different kinds of relationships along the way with family and friends. Each kind of relationship is different. Some relationships endure and some fade away. It's all a part of the experience of life.

Yes, there are some risks that go along with the search for "the right person". Mostly it's the fear of rejection or disappointment by someone you're attracted to. But life itself is full of risks. I don't think it's necessary to focus on "failed love" of the past. To do so is bound to result in failure from the start. It's better to focus on the objective of looking for the important qualities you and someone else share and have in common, and let it develop on its own. At the same time, if you hold certain unrealistic "standards" too high, then I would think it's likely to fail because you'd always see that the other person never measures up. Keep it real.

It's also reasonable to realize that relationships can be a bit bumpy in the first 5 or so years. But that's all a part of making the adjustment from being single to being in a committed relationship. And ss you continue to learn more about your partner, the relationship can become just as natural as if it has always been that way.

You said earlier that there's no such thing as love, never has been, never will be. That's not true. The problem is trying to define exactly what love is. To me, it's a relationship that involves commitment based on action. My wife and I have been married many years. To me, she's much more than just being my wife. She's also my best friend. And she's proven that to me many, many times. We are together because we care about each other, support each other, and take care of each other. The more years that pass by in our marriage, the more we realize how valuable and important we are to each other. I can look back at all the years we've been together, and feel comfortable and at ease knowing that having her share life together with me was the best choice. She's as much a part of me as my own arm.

Just a few of my thoughts on the subject.

Thank you for your posting. Much appreciated. After reading this I felt a little encouraged again and I should try to come out of my shell and put my prejudices aside. Being cynical and viewing the world with dark glasses is not helpful either. Maybe there is really love somewhere but if I do not search I will never know.

[Boo]

Jimjim

Today, 2008-09-19 14:47:01

I actually figured he was but it worked well for the point I was trying to make.

I have heard foreigner women say things like that, though, so I was talking to them retroactively.

But why did you feel the need to make the point? A male, not female farang, made a comment about thai women so you decided to use it as an excuse to bitch about western women. Hmm issues much.