Why Do U Guys Do It?

[Changkok]

After reading countless threads on here about guys who marry thai girls then start supporting her family? why do you guys do it? its culture(not) right? to support the family but do they give you support back?

I am married to a thai girl and i would never send money to anyone in her family, if they want some money then come and cut my garden or something, earn it.

I guess some guys get blackmailed into it, if they dont give then the wife tells him he is no good!!

Im just curious to know why many guys do it?

Oh Dear God this is just another so easy to understand ever recurring to point of somnambulism question.

Sad bastard comes to Third World Country (funny how they all say 'my 22, 25, 29, year old girlfriend, but never mention their own ages by the way), Thailand in particular, because it not only has an endless supply of cheap whores, BUT, they get to eat food which will not tax their imagination, comfort zone, and get to mix with many kinds of their ilk everywhere.

Scenario. Meet girl, easily enough, they're everybloodywhere, young enough to be dauther/grandaughter who will 'take care', where noone else gives a stuff, in particular farang women, for incredibly obvious reasons I suspect. Marriage means bugger all here, except for visa being easier.

Aforesaid Farang, for the first time since his missus back 'ome gave him the bum's rush, and having realised, even given all the porno showing unattractive men getting it on with pretty women - hey! That's how it works chaps - Can't go showing equally attractive men and women, or will definitely not appeal to Sad Bastard With Box Of Cleanex, no empathy) and realsing not having a cat's chance in hel_l of ever being able to find some other woman to put up with his lack of hygiene/charm/social skills and boring conversation, finds 'True Love' (or lub) with acquiesent asian female - she thinks you have more money than you actually do, you dare not admit it/she would not understand anyway, you're White, godammit, becomes terrified at prospect of new tee ruk taking a hike, and so will give her and her er, brother, family, extended family, buffalo, everything she asks for, just to keep her there, with him. Until the money runs out.

Having said the aforegoing, I do understand why so many men do it. After all, long time dead and all that, and what the hel_l else does a socially incompetent, dull, boor of a man do until he dies?

I hope not all farang women are like you!!!!

[Heng]

In most cases IMO it's basic physics. If you step into a situation that isn't balanced, more often than not something is going to give (and it'll likely be you).

[jitagon]

After reading countless threads on here about guys who marry thai girls then start supporting her family? why do you guys do it? its culture(not) right? to support the family but do they give you support back?

I am married to a thai girl and i would never send money to anyone in her family, if they want some money then come and cut my garden or something, earn it.

I guess some guys get blackmailed into it, if they dont give then the wife tells him he is no good!!

Im just curious to know why many guys do it?

Oh Dear God this is just another so easy to understand ever recurring to point of somnambulism question.

Sad bastard comes to Third World Country (funny how they all say 'my 22, 25, 29, year old girlfriend, but never mention their own ages by the way), Thailand in particular, because it not only has an endless supply of cheap whores, BUT, they get to eat food which will not tax their imagination, comfort zone, and get to mix with many kinds of their ilk everywhere.

Scenario. Meet girl, easily enough, they're everybloodywhere, young enough to be dauther/grandaughter who will 'take care', where noone else gives a stuff, in particular farang women, for incredibly obvious reasons I suspect. Marriage means bugger all here, except for visa being easier.

Aforesaid Farang, for the first time since his missus back 'ome gave him the bum's rush, and having realised, even given all the porno showing unattractive men getting it on with pretty women - hey! That's how it works chaps - Can't go showing equally attractive men and women, or will definitely not appeal to Sad Bastard With Box Of Cleanex, no empathy) and realsing not having a cat's chance in hel_l of ever being able to find some other woman to put up with his lack of hygiene/charm/social skills and boring conversation, finds 'True Love' (or lub) with acquiesent asian female - she thinks you have more money than you actually do, you dare not admit it/she would not understand anyway, you're White, godammit, becomes terrified at prospect of new tee ruk taking a hike, and so will give her and her er, brother, family, extended family, buffalo, everything she asks for, just to keep her there, with him. Until the money runs out.

Having said the aforegoing, I do understand why so many men do it. After all, long time dead and all that, and what the hel_l else does a socially incompetent, dull, boor of a man do until he dies?

I hope not all farang women are like you!!!!

Didn't take long for the bashers of the farang woman to raise their undoubtedly ugly head.

So let me make myself clear. I completely understand (no really I do), that having been divorced by Doris of Dagenham, and having taken a long hard look at future prospects for an aging man in farangland and found it a bleak and daunting prospect, the grapevine advice to go to a third world country, and hit the jackpot with some acquiescent peasant who will take care of you into, hopefully, your dotage, on the mutual understanding that the farang man will financially support the asian (okay, in this case Thai) woman, for his getting his dinner cooked, the house cleaned, sex on demand and control of the remote, is probably, in my view, a very good option. I don't blame you. The problem I have is the delusion. When the women start asking for money on a regular basis for their extended family (and I'm not talking about the occasional one off crisis here), said farang man will be bled dry and whining ad infinitum on Thaivisa.com. Same same as their continual bleating about how they lost everything in their divorce from Doris. 'Yeah, took me for everfin' I 'ad.

Edited November 21, 2008 by jitagon

[Shotime]

Actually - I'm very suprized to hear that it is culturally expected that the the new husband (ex-pat or Thai) picks up the tab for the in-laws - no more so than would be expected of one in the West. I am from the West, and never heard of such a thing.

I don't have time at the moment to go into my own situation here, but, suffice it to say that I have no problem giving a woman money for companionship. They have to eat, dress, etc to live. I don't want my companion to work 9 hours a day, 7 days a week for 6K a month. The ATM life-style got very old, fast. It's good to be King, or, Up to you.

Edited November 21, 2008 by Shotime

[Heng]

Ouch, the razor blade and salt shaker are out tonight.

[jcon]

ThaiVisa members mostly marry into the Elite of Thai society and have independently wealthy wives from influential families.

I think you will find more threads that have this theme than those that will admit they send money to her folks.

Cream of the crop here at TV! Mostly millionaires too, duh....

[Misplaced]

Why Do U Guys Do It?, support her family that is.

Perhaps they know the consequences to themselves of not handing over the cash.

Any business will fall apart when the cash flow stops.

spot on,....in most cases the white knight in shining armour ( aka the farang ) will whisk the maiden from a fate worse than death ( a life on the game ) and pay the monthly installments, usually WAY over what said maiden was earning,. and those that dont see it as a "rent a wife " scheme are the ones wearing the horses blinkers,.

These guys speak from bitter experience chaps, take note of what they say and don't do it !!!

Forgive me Maigo I had no intention of hitting a nerve?

GH, is it difficult for you to understand that "it's not wrong to take care of your parents as they get older?". It should applauded not degrade.

Just because western society elected to place their parents in a retirement community instead of taking care of them does't mean the rest of the world is wrong for doing so.

Your parents took care of you so what's wrong with taking care of them in time of needs?. YEAH THAT'S A BAD THING TO DO.

Edited November 21, 2008 by Misplaced

[jitagon]

Why Do U Guys Do It?, support her family that is.

Perhaps they know the consequences to themselves of not handing over the cash.

Any business will fall apart when the cash flow stops.

spot on,....in most cases the white knight in shining armour ( aka the farang ) will whisk the maiden from a fate worse than death ( a life on the game ) and pay the monthly installments, usually WAY over what said maiden was earning,. and those that dont see it as a "rent a wife " scheme are the ones wearing the horses blinkers,.

These guys speak from bitter experience chaps, take note of what they say and don't do it !!!

Forgive me Maigo I had no intention of hitting a nerve?

GH, is it difficult for you to understand that "it's not wrong to take care of your parents as they get older?". It should applauded not degrade.

Just because western society elected to place their parents in a retirement community instead of taking care of them does't mean the rest of the world is wrong for doing so.

Your parents took care of you so what's wrong with taking care of them in time of needs?. YEAH THAT'S A BAD THING TO DO.

Although I do appreciate your sentiment. Still. Kinda not quite there yet are you?

[GuestHouse]

GH, is it difficult for you to understand that "it's not wrong to take care of your parents as they get older?". It should applauded not degrade.

Yes, but let's draw the line at taking care of one's parents with other people's money.

And then there are the Farangs dishing the cash to 'Parents' who are younger than themselves..... Yep that's to be applauded too.

[spiderman2]

GH, is it difficult for you to understand that "it's not wrong to take care of your parents as they get older?". It should applauded not degrade.

Yes, but let's draw the line at taking care of one's parents with other people's money.

And then there are the Farangs dishing the cash to 'Parents' who are younger than themselves..... Yep that's to be applauded too.

Come down from your Ivory Tower, whats wrong with someone helping his wifes parents in times of need, my friend pays for his wife (same age) kids to go to school should that be looked down upon.

[Misplaced]

GH, is it difficult for you to understand that "it's not wrong to take care of your parents as they get older?". It should applauded not degrade.

Yes, but let's draw the line at taking care of one's parents with other people's money.

And then there are the Farangs dishing the cash to 'Parents' who are younger than themselves..... Yep that's to be applauded too.

Come down from your Ivory Tower, whats wrong with someone helping his wifes parents in times of need, my friend pays for his wife (same age) kids to go to school should that be looked down upon.

IAW with some posters, yes it is. IMO, that's a shame.

[Misplaced]

GH, is it difficult for you to understand that "it's not wrong to take care of your parents as they get older?". It should applauded not degrade.

Yes, but let's draw the line at taking care of one's parents with other people's money.

And then there are the Farangs dishing the cash to 'Parents' who are younger than themselves..... Yep that's to be applauded too.

When you are married. It's family money not individual. Obviously in your family that isn't the case.

"An old fool shall soon part with his money" (farang or not). Should she just ignore her parents needs because her husband is old? The old fool should have known what to expect when he married her. If he didn't bother to find out her situation than he fits the term "old fool".

Actually GH, I'm quite surprised at your response. As well traveled as you are, I figured you would understand that it's quite common for people to take care of their parents. Not only in Thailand but most Asian countries and quite a few in the middle east.

Edited November 21, 2008 by Misplaced

[JetsetBkk]

GH, is it difficult for you to understand that "it's not wrong to take care of your parents as they get older?". It should applauded not degrade.

Yes, but let's draw the line at taking care of one's parents with other people's money.

And then there are the Farangs dishing the cash to 'Parents' who are younger than themselves..... Yep that's to be applauded too.

Come down from your Ivory Tower, whats wrong with someone helping his wifes parents in times of need, my friend pays for his wife (same age) kids to go to school should that be looked down upon.

Go easy on GH, Spiderman2. He's in Saudi and not getting any.

[jitagon]

GH, is it difficult for you to understand that "it's not wrong to take care of your parents as they get older?". It should applauded not degrade.

Yes, but let's draw the line at taking care of one's parents with other people's money.

And then there are the Farangs dishing the cash to 'Parents' who are younger than themselves..... Yep that's to be applauded too.

When you are married. It's family money not individual. Obviously in your family that isn't the case.

"An old fool shall soon part with his money" (farang or not). Should she just ignore her parents needs because her husband is old? The old fool should have known what to expect when he married her. If he didn't bother to find out her situation than he fits the term "old fool".

So, if you happen to find yourself on the bones of your arse, her family should help you out too?

[Misplaced]

GH, is it difficult for you to understand that "it's not wrong to take care of your parents as they get older?". It should applauded not degrade.

Yes, but let's draw the line at taking care of one's parents with other people's money.

And then there are the Farangs dishing the cash to 'Parents' who are younger than themselves..... Yep that's to be applauded too.

When you are married. It's family money not individual. Obviously in your family that isn't the case.

"An old fool shall soon part with his money" (farang or not). Should she just ignore her parents needs because her husband is old? The old fool should have known what to expect when he married her. If he didn't bother to find out her situation than he fits the term "old fool".

So, if you happen to find yourself on the bones of your arse, her family should help you out too?

Ofcourse, "IF" they are able.

You shouldn't have to go very far to see that majority of Thai family help each other. If you haven't seen it than get out of your house and have a look around.

[Jingthing]

Ofcourse, "IF" they are able.

You shouldn't have to go very far to see that majority of Thai family help each other. If you haven't seen it than get out of your house and have a look around.

Yeah, sure, but the question for farang/Thais in relationships based on money would be, are they really considered part of the Thai family or is it totally conditional on money flow and I think unless you want to be deluded, people usually know the true answer. Nobody is questioning the family obligations of Thais to their blood relatives. But how high do you think you rate?

Edited November 21, 2008 by Jingthing

[Misplaced]

Ofcourse, "IF" they are able.

You shouldn't have to go very far to see that majority of Thai family help each other. If you haven't seen it than get out of your house and have a look around.

Yeah, sure, but the question for farang/Thais in relationships based on money would be, are they really considered part of the Thai family or is it totally conditional on money flow and I think unless you want to be deluded, people usually know the true answer. Nobody is questioning the family obligations of Thais to their blood relatives.

If the family made you feel that way than you should not be in that marriage. You should also realized that situation before you married her; never the less, you can't blame the girl for wanting to support her parents.

If you rush into marrying the first young girl without getting to know her family and understand her financial need than it's your own fault. You can't blame the girl for that either. FIND OUT BEFORE YOU COMMIT. Stop thinking with your little head and start using your brain.

Edited November 21, 2008 by Misplaced

[spiderman2]

Go easy on GH, Spiderman2. He's in Saudi and not getting any.

The great GH need do no more then turn his head in the direction of Saudis finest females for them to tremble inside with lust, but alas he has married into the elite of Thai society leaving us all to truly admire his superiority.

Only playing I bet he never really spoke to girls too much until he went to SE Asia.

[dee123]

....I don'tlike to sound cynical,..DingDonggrb,...but your sister in law who received sinsod from Thai chap, u wouldn't happen to have any idea how the farang father/mother inlaw spent the money?.....new pickup truck perhaps?

[dee123]

After reading countless threads on here about guys who marry thai girls then start supporting her family? why do you guys do it? its culture(not) right? to support the family but do they give you support back?

I am married to a thai girl and i would never send money to anyone in her family, if they want some money then come and cut my garden or something, earn it.

I guess some guys get blackmailed into it, if they dont give then the wife tells him he is no good!!

Im just curious to know why many guys do it?

Oh Dear God this is just another so easy to understand ever recurring to point of somnambulism question.

Sad bastard comes to Third World Country (funny how they all say 'my 22, 25, 29, year old girlfriend, but never mention their own ages by the way), Thailand in particular, because it not only has an endless supply of cheap whores, BUT, they get to eat food which will not tax their imagination, comfort zone, and get to mix with many kinds of their ilk everywhere.

Scenario. Meet girl, easily enough, they're everybloodywhere, young enough to be dauther/grandaughter who will 'take care', where noone else gives a stuff, in particular farang women, for incredibly obvious reasons I suspect. Marriage means bugger all here, except for visa being easier.

Aforesaid Farang, for the first time since his missus back 'ome gave him the bum's rush, and having realised, even given all the porno showing unattractive men getting it on with pretty women - hey! That's how it works chaps - Can't go showing equally attractive men and women, or will definitely not appeal to Sad Bastard With Box Of Cleanex, no empathy) and realsing not having a cat's chance in hel_l of ever being able to find some other woman to put up with his lack of hygiene/charm/social skills and boring conversation, finds 'True Love' (or lub) with acquiesent asian female - she thinks you have more money than you actually do, you dare not admit it/she would not understand anyway, you're White, godammit, becomes terrified at prospect of new tee ruk taking a hike, and so will give her and her er, brother, family, extended family, buffalo, everything she asks for, just to keep her there, with him. Until the money runs out.

Having said the aforegoing, I do understand why so many men do it. After all, long time dead and all that, and what the hel_l else does a socially incompetent, dull, boor of a man do until he dies?

("somnambulism"...."sad bastards"......"<deleted>") now you have explained why guys who haven't got a chance marrying western girl come to Thailand, can u explain why girls who haven't got a chance of marrying a western guy come toThailand? ....jitagon?

Edited November 21, 2008 by dee123

[dee123]

....I don'tlike to sound cynical,..DingDonggrb,...but your sister in law who received sinsod from Thai chap, u wouldn't happen to have any idea how the farang father/mother inlaw spent the money?.....new pickup truck perhaps?

....with our British pension increase,we can cruise our Toyota turbo diesal all day long..!!

[Jeff1]

. But really, the loss of face for her being with an elderly ugly farang and not getting compenated would be the end of the world.

So Neeranam, was that you I saw in Big C Khon Kaen wheeling a trolley around full of goods for mama and the brother ?

Khon kaen maigo?? and here is me thinking from all the posts you make constantly about farangs marrying rich birds i was thinking you must of yourself????? Now i understand, So how much do u offer for your inlaws?

You've obviously never been to Khon Kaen recentley, KK city don't look poor to me.

I wouldn't really know though as I go there to see the younger sister whos at school there, but judging by what I see, theres money about in Khon Kaen City, and don't even start talking about Udon Thani or Khorat, the times they are a'changing.

I pay the in laws 300,000 baht a week.

Thats all?!

I thought you paid more than that.

I sure do. I even have them here at the house. All 12 of them.

I sleep on the couch and eat chicken on a stick.

[kingwillly]

So I have a question.

Do all the people that think it is wrong to help support the in-laws, not support their own parents ? Or have they foisted them off to an old-age home and forgotten about them ?

there aint no government help here, would you let family members die! ?

[Thaddeus]

I sure do. I even have them here at the house. All 12 of them.

I sleep on the couch and eat chicken on a stick.

Luxury........ there's 13 of us living in a shoe box in't middle of t' road.

[spiderman2]

I sure do. I even have them here at the house. All 12 of them.

I sleep on the couch and eat chicken on a stick.

Luxury........ there's 13 of us living in a shoe box in't middle of t' road.

Some people love to come online and boast about their wealth, its vulgar.

[Thaddeus]

You really haven't got a clue have you.

[bonobo]

I am single and don't pay for any Thai families now. But I do send my mother in the US money each month, so if I married a Thai woman, why wouldn't I send her parents money if they needed it?

I have dated a few Thai women who were much wealthier than me, so that wouldn't have been an issue for them, but I have dated more women who made less than 20,000 baht or who came from very poor families, so if I loved a woman like from that economic spheret, and if we married, I think it would only be appropriate to help out her family.

[dingdongrb]

For those dishing out the money to "relatives" what if you went skint and they had a good year and you needed emergency cash for your medical bills, would they reciprocate?

Let's suppose that you boyfriend's mother needed some help and that you had far more than enough money to help her. Would you then pose that same question before deciding whether to assist her?

Not really sure but a fair question. BTW, you are assuming you really know for a fact that the Mama is really sick, in so many cases, the hospital money thing is a scam.

More interesting questions:

If you had the money and didn't pay it, would you lose your partner?

If you didn't have the family support money, would you have a Thai partner in the first place?

I don't know the answers.

Well then I will try to enlighten you. Most farangs here are too idle to make themselves aware of how things work, in a practical sense here. I would hazard a guess that, apart from a few baht to pay for the medicines from the hospital dispensary, there is a 30 baht health scheme in place, of which farang are not aware, (which was in place before Toxin took credit for it, by the way), and most farang simply assume that the 40, 50, 60k 'hospital' bill, is cheap compared to what they pay at that fancy hospital on Sumkumvit, for instance.

As to the second question: If you had the money and didn't pay it,, which assumes you have been asked for it in the first place, would you lose your partner: Absolutely.

And if 'you didn't have the family support money, would you have a Thai partner in the first place? If you met them in a boom boom bar on soi cowboy, work it out for yourselves. Do you really think they work there just for the short time fee alone? They're looking at you as an investment/pension fund. And once it dries up, so do they. Next!

Aware of the 30B Health Plan???? Hmmmmmmm My daughter uses it........ And she was not even born in LOS.......

[kingwillly]

I am single and don't pay for any Thai families now. But I do send my mother in the US money each month, so if I married a Thai woman, why wouldn't I send her parents money if they needed it?

I have dated a few Thai women who were much wealthier than me, so that wouldn't have been an issue for them, but I have dated more women who made less than 20,000 baht or who came from very poor families, so if I loved a woman like from that economic spheret, and if we married, I think it would only be appropriate to help out her family.

well said.

[dingdongrb]

....I don'tlike to sound cynical,..DingDonggrb,...but your sister in law who received sinsod from Thai chap, u wouldn't happen to have any idea how the farang father/mother inlaw spent the money?.....new pickup truck perhaps?

Dee, You need to reread my post... It was a Thai man who married my Thai sister-in-law and he paid my Thai M/F in-law sinsot..... No farangs involved.... My point was being that not only farangs pay sinsot but Thais do too......