Beginners Guide To Replying To Threads

[Familyonthemove]

The ThaiVisa Forum is a highly active site with lively contributions from a wide range of experts, some local, some visitors and some expats, and it can be a little daunting for a beginner. This Guide should help newcomers compose their first posts:

1. Remember this is the 'Land of Smiles' with a strong Budhist culture, so try to balance this by being as rude as possible in your postings.

2. Read every new post carefully to see if the subject has been covered before. If this is that case, a quick reply stating 'can't you read!' will be appreciated by the Original Poster.

3. If you know nothing on the subject raised in the thread, please contribute anyway.

4. Always start a reply to a posting by questioning the validity of the OP's statement. Suggesting that he or she may also be lying is always a nice touch.

5. No matter what the subject, always try to use the words, PAD, PPP and Thaksin as this will ensure a lively thread.

6. And remember, try to have fun using the site - particulary if this is at someone elses expense.

[garro]

I think that you will find that the less seriously people take themselves and this site the more fun it is.

[Peterpan]

The ThaiVisa Forum is a highly active site with lively contributions from a wide range of experts, some local, some visitors and some expats, and it can be a little daunting for a beginner. This Guide should help newcomers compose their first posts:

1. Remember this is the 'Land of Smiles' with a strong Budhist culture, so try to balance this by being as rude as possible in your postings.

2. Read every new post carefully to see if the subject has been covered before. If this is that case, a quick reply stating 'can't you read!' will be appreciated by the Original Poster.

3. If you know nothing on the subject raised in the thread, please contribute anyway.

4. Always start a reply to a posting by questioning the validity of the OP's statement. Suggesting that he or she may also be lying is always a nice touch.

5. No matter what the subject, always try to use the words, PAD, PPP and Thaksin as this will ensure a lively thread.

6. And remember, try to have fun using the site - particulary if this is at someone elses expense.

Now thats more like it

[Familyonthemove]

7. If a post makes no specific reference to Thailand, adding the phrase "What has this got to do with Thailand??? " will make the OP feel very welcome.

Any more hints and tips ... ?

[dave9988]

8. Relate every thread to prostitution. It helps to accuse the OP of being married to a bargirl or being bitter because he married a bargirl. For example, if someone posts "Where can I buy a toy train set", a good response would be "Well, farang expect train sets to be for sale in Thailand even though Thais hate train sets. Most farang hate Thailand and are just here for the cheap prostitutes."

[garro]

I think that posters should consider if they would be willing to make the comment to the member's face before they reply to their post.

[Kerryd]

7. Remember that pretty much any question you can think of, has already been asked 10-12 times, possibly within the last week. Never search for a topic, always create a new one. If you see a topic already running, just create a new one with a slightly different title !

8. Always, always quote huge posts, and add a single one word or one line to the end of it, or even nothing at all ! Great way to increase your post count !

8a. If someone else has already done this, feel free to quote the entire thing again, so you can comment on the one word (or one) line response of the person before you. Remember, the more words in your posts, even if they aren't yours and have no relevance, still count towards well, nothing at all, but don't let that stop you sunshine, because you are special !

9. Never, ever use the "Add Reply" button, because this just opens a blank window to post in. Always use the "reply" button because that way you look important by having massively huge posts, with multiple embedded quotes, and your plithy one word comment on the end.

10. Feel free on your first day to tell members that have been here for years and have thousands of posts, about how your 2 posts means you know more than everyone else. Don't be upset when they point out your obvious errors and lack of knowledge, simply resort to using profanities and calling them names. That'll teach them !

11. Do not EVER read the forum rules. After all, they aren't your rules, so why should you have to obey them ? You've consented to grace this site with your presence, you should be allowed to post what ever you want !

12. Remember that while Google is a great search engine, it is beneath you to do your own searches. Simply ask your questions on TV and let others do all the searching for you ! That can save you hours of having to figure out things like proper spelling, or rooting through useless links. Let someone else do it and just give you the pertinent results.

And if you don't like those results, feel free to insult those idiots for not knowing exactly what you wanted, even if you didn't specify it or really know what you were looking for in the first place !

13. Now that you have joined, please allow the other members the opportunity to bow at your feet. A simple sarcastic retort is all they require in way of thanks for you granting them that privilege. The ability to bask in your newbie glow is probably more than they deserve, but you are a humble and generous.

(I'm sure there are plenty more rules that can be added to this guide)

[chiangmaibruce]

A couple of the points in your post cry out for further detail:

Point 3. A good way to begin your thread is something like "I wouldn't think that <the law would stop you from doing that ...>" OR "It shouldn't be a problem <if you do X>". What you THINK or FEEL is bound to be close to the correct answer, especially with complex legal issues. All good helpful stuff!

Point 4. Never stop at questioning the validity of the OP's statement. A complete response demands that you personalise the matter! Even if the OP has not mentioned his/her personal circumstances, or implied that the issue has any bearing on him/her personally. Sure they could be lying, but it's more likely they have a worse character defect that just that .... for god's sake use your imagination!

There, that's better now. You should be more careful in your future posts! Loser

[toybits]

If things don't work the way you want it to,

• sigh and say TIT (This is Thailand).
  
• blame it on Mr. T. and his cohorts.
  
• blame it on corrupt officials...
  

[Mosha]

Good tip - Ensure the topic goes OT before the 1st page is done.

[sabaijai]

Sprinkle 'best burger', 'best burrito' and 'best pizza' in liberally, but make sure your examples line up with the american versions

[Geekfreaklover]

Arrogance is key. That and an over-inflated sense of self-importance and intellect. Also, helps if you were bullied at school.

[rijb]

"13. Now that you have joined, please allow the other members the opportunity to bow at your feet. A simple sarcastic retort is all they require in way of thanks for you granting them that privilege. The ability to bask in your newbie glow is probably more than they deserve, but you are a humble and generous."

14. Be assured that a superior post count will exponentially increase the value and importance of every post you make.

15. Always use emoticons to take the edge off petty, pedantic or nonsensical comments.

Edited November 30, 2008 by rijb

[fred2007]

The ThaiVisa Forum is a highly active site with lively contributions from a wide range of experts, some local, some visitors and some expats, and it can be a little daunting for a beginner. This Guide should help newcomers compose their first posts:

1. Remember this is the 'Land of Smiles' with a strong Budhist culture, so try to balance this by being as rude as possible in your postings.

2. Read every new post carefully to see if the subject has been covered before. If this is that case, a quick reply stating 'can't you read!' will be appreciated by the Original Poster.

3. If you know nothing on the subject raised in the thread, please contribute anyway.

4. Always start a reply to a posting by questioning the validity of the OP's statement. Suggesting that he or she may also be lying is always a nice touch.

5. No matter what the subject, always try to use the words, PAD, PPP and Thaksin as this will ensure a lively thread.

6. And remember, try to have fun using the site - particulary if this is at someone elses expense.

I couldn't have said it any better

[Ulysses G.]

Sprinkle 'best burger' and 'best pizza' in liberally, but make sure your examples line up with the american versions

Give long intellectual discourses on where foods came from originally and what they are like and what they are served with in their native lands, but don't bother to mention that they also actually taste like sh*t and make you long for the American/European versions!

Edited November 30, 2008 by Ulysses G.

[myauq]

7. Remember that pretty much any question you can think of, has already been asked 10-12 times, possibly within the last week. Never search for a topic, always create a new one. If you see a topic already running, just create a new one with a slightly different title !

8. Always, always quote huge posts, and add a single one word or one line to the end of it, or even nothing at all ! Great way to increase your post count !

8a. If someone else has already done this, feel free to quote the entire thing again, so you can comment on the one word (or one) line response of the person before you. Remember, the more words in your posts, even if they aren't yours and have no relevance, still count towards well, nothing at all, but don't let that stop you sunshine, because you are special !

9. Never, ever use the "Add Reply" button, because this just opens a blank window to post in. Always use the "reply" button because that way you look important by having massively huge posts, with multiple embedded quotes, and your plithy one word comment on the end.

10. Feel free on your first day to tell members that have been here for years and have thousands of posts, about how your 2 posts means you know more than everyone else. Don't be upset when they point out your obvious errors and lack of knowledge, simply resort to using profanities and calling them names. That'll teach them !

11. Do not EVER read the forum rules. After all, they aren't your rules, so why should you have to obey them ? You've consented to grace this site with your presence, you should be allowed to post what ever you want !

12. Remember that while Google is a great search engine, it is beneath you to do your own searches. Simply ask your questions on TV and let others do all the searching for you ! That can save you hours of having to figure out things like proper spelling, or rooting through useless links. Let someone else do it and just give you the pertinent results.

And if you don't like those results, feel free to insult those idiots for not knowing exactly what you wanted, even if you didn't specify it or really know what you were looking for in the first place !

13. Now that you have joined, please allow the other members the opportunity to bow at your feet. A simple sarcastic retort is all they require in way of thanks for you granting them that privilege. The ability to bask in your newbie glow is probably more than they deserve, but you are a humble and generous.

(I'm sure there are plenty more rules that can be added to this guide)

i like number 8 - btw that brings me up to 141 already

[Mattchu9999]

24. Make sure to accuse every OP whom asks any question about the sex industry no matter how innocent of being a "dirty old man".

[Kerryd]

14. Be assured that a superior post count will exponentially increase the value and importance of every post you make.

Not always, but tell me, if you are seeking advice, would you chose the person that's been a member for, oh say, 1-2 weeks (or months) and has 1-2 (or 10-20) posts, or the person that has been a member 2-3 years and has 3,4 or 5,000 posts ?

15. Always use emoticons to take the edge off petty, pedantic or nonsensical comments.[/size]

Thanks for helping prove my point.

[candoman89]

7. Remember that pretty much any question you can think of, has already been asked 10-12 times, possibly within the last week. Never search for a topic, always create a new one. If you see a topic already running, just create a new one with a slightly different title !

8. Always, always quote huge posts, and add a single one word or one line to the end of it, or even nothing at all ! Great way to increase your post count !

8a. If someone else has already done this, feel free to quote the entire thing again, so you can comment on the one word (or one) line response of the person before you. Remember, the more words in your posts, even if they aren't yours and have no relevance, still count towards well, nothing at all, but don't let that stop you sunshine, because you are special !

9. Never, ever use the "Add Reply" button, because this just opens a blank window to post in. Always use the "reply" button because that way you look important by having massively huge posts, with multiple embedded quotes, and your plithy one word comment on the end.

10. Feel free on your first day to tell members that have been here for years and have thousands of posts, about how your 2 posts means you know more than everyone else. Don't be upset when they point out your obvious errors and lack of knowledge, simply resort to using profanities and calling them names. That'll teach them !

11. Do not EVER read the forum rules. After all, they aren't your rules, so why should you have to obey them ? You've consented to grace this site with your presence, you should be allowed to post what ever you want !

12. Remember that while Google is a great search engine, it is beneath you to do your own searches. Simply ask your questions on TV and let others do all the searching for you ! That can save you hours of having to figure out things like proper spelling, or rooting through useless links. Let someone else do it and just give you the pertinent results.

And if you don't like those results, feel free to insult those idiots for not knowing exactly what you wanted, even if you didn't specify it or really know what you were looking for in the first place !

13. Now that you have joined, please allow the other members the opportunity to bow at your feet. A simple sarcastic retort is all they require in way of thanks for you granting them that privilege. The ability to bask in your newbie glow is probably more than they deserve, but you are a humble and generous.

(I'm sure there are plenty more rules that can be added to this guide)

um, ok

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

If you want a lot of replies be sure to use very bad english and misspell as many words as possible. ..

[Kerryd]

Hmmmm, I guess "Have a sense of humour" should be on the list, as well as "Learn the Definition of Sarcasm".

(oops, almost forgot to add a smiley !)

[rijb]

14. Be assured that a superior post count will exponentially increase the value and importance of every post you make.

Not always, but tell me, if you are seeking advice, would you chose the person that's been a member for, oh say, 1-2 weeks (or months) and has 1-2 (or 10-20) posts, or the person that has been a member 2-3 years and has 3,4 or 5,000 posts ?

15. Always use emoticons to take the edge off petty, pedantic or nonsensical comments.[/size]

Thanks for helping prove my point.

I try to take “advice” at face value - regardless of post count, nationality and level of inebriation. I verify “facts” with as many sources as I can find. I respect long time TV members for creating a very interesting and informative forum. However, not all newbie’s to the forum are newbie’s to Thailand. My Thai wife and I have been married for 34 years, this coming Wednesday.

[Familyonthemove]

.... congratulations for this Wednesday. 34 years .... excellent!

And please keep the tips coming.

Oops, nearly forgot .....

[rijb]

.... congratulations for this Wednesday. 34 years .... excellent!

And please keep the tips coming.

Oops, nearly forgot .....

You're very kind for someone with your post count. (my very first emoticon!)

[Kerryd]

I try to take “advice” at face value - regardless of post count, nationality and level of inebriation. I verify “facts” with as many sources as I can find.

As do I. I spend a considerable amount of time trying to verify stuff that is posted here (just finished searching for a "statement" from the EU that someone quoted in another thread, and then posted the results showing it was actually from the EU Delegation to Thailand).

It would be nice if more people verified their facts before posting them, but what can you do ?

I respect long time TV members for creating a very interesting and informative forum. However, not all newbie’s to the forum are newbie’s to Thailand.

True enough, and some come here and make valuable contributions, while others do pretty much everything I noted in the "rules" I made up.

(Where do you think I got the inspiration from to type those ?)

My Thai wife and I have been married for 34 years, this coming Wednesday.

Wow ! That is great ! Congratulations !

[zaza]

if you don't like TV forum,just go home

[Geekfreaklover]

Oh yes. And allways try to be original with replies.

[mommysboy]

The ThaiVisa Forum is a highly active site with lively contributions from a wide range of experts, some local, some visitors and some expats, and it can be a little daunting for a beginner. This Guide should help newcomers compose their first posts:

1. Remember this is the 'Land of Smiles' with a strong Budhist culture, so try to balance this by being as rude as possible in your postings.

2. Read every new post carefully to see if the subject has been covered before. If this is that case, a quick reply stating 'can't you read!' will be appreciated by the Original Poster.

3. If you know nothing on the subject raised in the thread, please contribute anyway.

4. Always start a reply to a posting by questioning the validity of the OP's statement. Suggesting that he or she may also be lying is always a nice touch.

5. No matter what the subject, always try to use the words, PAD, PPP and Thaksin as this will ensure a lively thread.

6. And remember, try to have fun using the site - particulary if this is at someone elses expense.

[/quote

Don't forget to chew your food slowly and attentively at least 30 times before swallowing and say a prayer to the moderators every night b4 you go to bed at 8pm.

[dingdongrb]

99. Remember to post as often and fast as you can because who ever has the most posts when he/she dies wins the game.

100. It is always good to add a very unusual picture to each of your posts. Pictures say much more than words can be expressed as well as limit the possibility of having misspelled words.

101. Always think of and post a subject that will surely piss off 99% of those that read it. This is not called 'trolling' but rather 'fishing' as you are merely trying to hook all the possible responses you can and this is highly encouraged by the moderators of this site.

Welcome and enjoy the Internet!!!!

[surface]

7. Remember that pretty much any question you can think of, has already been asked 10-12 times, possibly within the last week. Never search for a topic, always create a new one. If you see a topic already running, just create a new one with a slightly different title !

8. Always, always quote huge posts, and add a single one word or one line to the end of it, or even nothing at all ! Great way to increase your post count !

8a. If someone else has already done this, feel free to quote the entire thing again, so you can comment on the one word (or one) line response of the person before you. Remember, the more words in your posts, even if they aren't yours and have no relevance, still count towards well, nothing at all, but don't let that stop you sunshine, because you are special !

9. Never, ever use the "Add Reply" button, because this just opens a blank window to post in. Always use the "reply" button because that way you look important by having massively huge posts, with multiple embedded quotes, and your plithy one word comment on the end.

10. Feel free on your first day to tell members that have been here for years and have thousands of posts, about how your 2 posts means you know more than everyone else. Don't be upset when they point out your obvious errors and lack of knowledge, simply resort to using profanities and calling them names. That'll teach them !

11. Do not EVER read the forum rules. After all, they aren't your rules, so why should you have to obey them ? You've consented to grace this site with your presence, you should be allowed to post what ever you want !

12. Remember that while Google is a great search engine, it is beneath you to do your own searches. Simply ask your questions on TV and let others do all the searching for you ! That can save you hours of having to figure out things like proper spelling, or rooting through useless links. Let someone else do it and just give you the pertinent results.

And if you don't like those results, feel free to insult those idiots for not knowing exactly what you wanted, even if you didn't specify it or really know what you were looking for in the first place !

13. Now that you have joined, please allow the other members the opportunity to bow at your feet. A simple sarcastic retort is all they require in way of thanks for you granting them that privilege. The ability to bask in your newbie glow is probably more than they deserve, but you are a humble and generous.

(I'm sure there are plenty more rules that can be added to this guide)

i like number 8 - btw that brings me up to 141 already

8 is a horrible rule, don't you know anything?!?!!?11! 8a is the best!