Question For Long Term Expats

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

Didn't we recently answer this question a few times? Here we go again.

Comfortable, more than I was in two other countries where I lived shorter times. It feels even better than home, I guess. We are building a house. That should do it for the next 39 years.

39 years ? what hapens in 39 years?

[CockneyGit]

When I'm on my property and with the animals , I feel happy and at home, but as soon as I step out, I am a freak, " Farang" alien that is stared at and spoken about as if she has a third arm protruding from her forehead.

So no, I do not feel at home in Thailand.

I get a lot of hostility on this forum for my less than favorable views on Thais, but I am betting this comes from men that have set themselves up with a very monetarily dependent Thai female who eases their way- provides sex on demand along with personal servant duties and insulates them from the more anti " Farang " elements. (how I HATE that term )

Try being a woman, used to independence - in this unbelievably sexist, xenophobic culture.

I want to leave, particularly after the events of the last week and I'm about to go ahead and spend an obscene amount of money to fly the horses - but I'll be damned if I'll do it out of Bangkok. I'd rather give that money to Malaysia where for some reason the airlines don't insist I use an " Agent" who inflates the price by 40 % .

Yes we are ATMs to Thais, as soon as you stop giving money, as soon as their use for you subsides-the smile goes away and you get the real face..

I can sympathise with your views Doc to a certain extent, however I do believe that in general all countrys are inherently racist to a certain degree, certainly nationalistic. The key to "survival" here is, to a certain level, understand this.

As the next generation of Thais grow up then attitudes to foreigners will change as the world becomes smaller and smaller. To an extent we are still a bit of novelty outside of the tourist centres.

One major problem is that is those tourist areas are large numbers of the tourists who used to go to Spain (Ibiza, Benidorm etc.) and bring their "football shirt wearing" and binge drinking ways to LOS. I'm embarrased to say the majority of these are British. Visitors to Thailand have changed in the last 5-6 years and give a terrible impression to the Thais and we all get tarred with the same brush.

In general, the impression left with Thais is that of tourists, either good or bad tourists. The fact remains that "farang" aren't all rich. TOURISTS are rich, average expats here are just ordinary working people trying to take care of their families and you do need to keep explaining this to some of the locals!

Sadly, the attitude towards foreigners has certainly gone down in recent times, mainly due to the above.

The longer you stay here though, learn the language, appreciate their customs and traditions it does get better. A slow process I agree, but it does happen over time.

When you first start to live here, you're seen as kind of cutesy ("aah, how lovely, he likes Thailand"). Then you get to a stage where it's "woh, farang roo mach" and they are VERY wary of you. Get through this and then as you get more into the lingo you do start to feel more accepted and the locals will talk to you almost as one of their own, about everyday, run-of-the-mill stuff.

I can't express enough the importance of learning the language. It also helps if you're settled in one are for an extended length of time.

For sure the locals can annoy you with their certain ways, however the odd trip back "home" does help to enforce the feelings of why we decided to settle here in the first place. My "home" is here for now, as for the future - who can tell..??

Naturally, all this is just my own personal experience of 10 years living and working in Thailand.

Food for thought!!

[lambretta]

Where are these large numbers of "tourists who used to go to Spain (Ibiza, Benidorm etc.) and bring their "football shirt wearing" and binge drinking ways to LOS?"

How do you know they used to go to Spain? Most youngsters who go to Ibiza are extremely trendy and go for the clubs and music, this going way back to 1988/9, when I look around Pattaya for example I hardly see any 'trendy" people what I see are lots of Bamber Gascoigne looking type characters sitting in restaurants or bars with a girl half their age who looks completely bored out her mind with his charmless dribble.

I certainly don't see groups of young men in their 20 somethings doing the 'can can' up the Sois swigging from their bottles of beer.

[Geekfreaklover]

Dont count on it....even if you had PR and then citizenship....you still would be a farang...you will never be Thai

Anyone with citizenship can validate this? Having citizenship doesn't make you not look like a typical tourist, so it at least this makes sense . . .

So would you give up your US passport for a Thai passport? I think not.

[Soutpeel]

Dont count on it....even if you had PR and then citizenship....you still would be a farang...you will never be Thai

Anyone with citizenship can validate this? Having citizenship doesn't make you not look like a typical tourist, so it at least this makes sense . . .

So would you give up your US passport for a Thai passport? I think not.

Ah...this is the million dollar question (or at least the $1000 question, considering the current ecomomic crisis)

Even the expats I know who have Thai citizenship have not given up their countries passports....

So the question is do you really want to be Thai, or are taking citizenship because it make life easier for you in Thailand

[Peterpan]

Home is where me and my wife live at the time, I am on a British Passport and my wife is on a Thai passport.

Where ever we go to live on the next job, we dont think about belonging to anywhere, besides with each other.

We have homes in Thailand and Spain and we go together where ever I work if it is possible.

Ive worked in Thailand twice before and we never think about anything, besides getting on with our live.

There is more too life than worrying about do I feel at home here, life is for living.

I left UK 1980 and never lived in a place long enough to think about calling it my home.

The way the world has change over the last 30 years you could live any place if you wanted too.

[borracho]

Any expat who feels totally comfortable here is either blissfully anesthetized, totally clueless, or lives as monk in a state of enlightenment.

And that's that!

[onnut]

sometimes I feel like a Pakistani must feel like living in Slough, but most of the times I am very comfortable here.

[Sakeopete]

After 8 years here I'm a Comfortable foreigner, however settling in Thailand was the worst mistake I ever made. If it wasn't for having put so many roots down I would leave and go home to Canada in a second. My wife and kids are fantastic I should have moved them to Canada but we decided to stay here because I read how Thais get very home sick and tend to be unhappy in their adopted countries. Considering I'm an offshore worker I would be away from home and that would have made things worse for my wife. I hope some day things get better here and I will sell up and leave.

My wife really noticed how my family instantly made her feel like one of them. She had great pride for Thailand until she spent time in Canada it really opened her eyes. Now that we have 4 kids and her English is quite good she wants to move.

[F1fanatic]

Thailand will never be home, there are too many cultural differences.

Nonetheless, once you understand this, it's a v beautiful and relaxed place to live - just ignore the bg's and ex-pats with bg's and it's far more pleasant than home.

[Crushdepth]

7 years here as a comfortable foreigner - no more than that. In my opinion the majority of Thais who have never stepped foot outside Thailand will never accept the foreigner

This is pretty much my experience also, after the same period of time. I am quite comfortable living here and have some close Thai friends - but I don't feel like part of society, more like something external to that.

[farangnahrak]

I had a thought today . . . most of you expats are old (relatively speaking). I mean like in your 40's++. Perhaps a problem you guys have is that Thai's your age (your desired social group?) are too traditional/closed/set in their ways . . .

The reason I say this is because I and my social group are all in our mid 20's and early 30's. I find the new generation Thais much more open and accepting.

But even then, in the US, I find Thais my age to be more 'click-ish' than other foreigner groups . . .

[grtaylor]

I love thailand and have been calling it "home". But Home for me is still back in Canada, home is where your family is. Even though I have no intent on returning there, it will always be my home! Thailand is my home away from home you could say. Though I love christmas time and Thailand just does not do it for me....always good to return home to your family at chirstmas time...

Almost 19 years here. I'm single, so, define "family" . . . . I go back to the UK once a year to visit my Mother. I have a sister and her family there, but we've never been that close. I doubt I would go back as much as once a year, were my mother not there.

Edited December 5, 2008 by grtaylor

[grtaylor]

Thailand will never be home, there are too many cultural differences.

Nonetheless, once you understand this, it's a v beautiful and relaxed place to live - just ignore the bg's and ex-pats with bg's and it's far more pleasant than home.

What are "bg's"?

[dumball]

You are probably too young to remember the BeeGees , famous singing group years ago , b/gs in thailand are somewhat aligned , they are song and dance ladies , singing when you open your wallet to them or dancing to a death dirge if you don't .

[MKAsok]

What are "bg's"?

A kind of modern haircut.

[dumball]

They are somewhat like the DTs (shakes) , affects fat older balding men looking for a cure for ED

[ukrules]

When I'm on my property and with the animals , I feel happy and at home, but as soon as I step out, I am a freak, " Farang" alien that is stared at and spoken about as if she has a third arm protruding from her forehead.

So no, I do not feel at home in Thailand.

I get a lot of hostility on this forum for my less than favorable views on Thais, but I am betting this comes from men that have set themselves up with a very monetarily dependent Thai female who eases their way- provides sex on demand along with personal servant duties and insulates them from the more anti " Farang " elements. (how I HATE that term )

Try being a woman, used to independence - in this unbelievably sexist, xenophobic culture.

I want to leave, particularly after the events of the last week and I'm about to go ahead and spend an obscene amount of money to fly the horses - but I'll be damned if I'll do it out of Bangkok. I'd rather give that money to Malaysia where for some reason the airlines don't insist I use an " Agent" who inflates the price by 40 % .

Yes we are ATMs to Thais, as soon as you stop giving money, as soon as their use for you subsides-the smile goes away and you get the real face..

Did you use to use the name phuketti in your posts around the web ?

If so then you've been writing the exact same things on different boards for many years now.

Or maybe my memory is incorrect, somehow I doubt it.

[richard10365]

I don't miss the USA at all. I am very comfortable here.

[patklang]

M yhome for 5 years and i feel like a stranger in the uk,hate the place to be honest and only go back to see family,but its still a grind.if thailand goes tits up then will look for anywhere but the uk.

Amazing the amount of people who trot out the same hate vibes about their home nations.

I'm from the UK and since '92 have spent one year back there. I quite enjoyed that year but was glad to be moving back to south east Asia. These days I really enjoy my visits back there, apart from seeing family and friends it gives me a reality check.

If Thailand goes tits up the chances are you'll go back to the UK to start over, it's the one place you know you can go without visa or work permit hassles. Okay the EU is also open to you but you may as well be in the UK as anywhere in Europe.

Never forget you are where you are because you were born in a developed country and benefited from the associated education system. Would you rather you were born a Thai into a poor farming family up in Issan or even a middle class family? I don't think so. Your British passport bestows priveledges on you much of the rest of the world can only dream of.

As for me, home is wherever I am at the time someone asks and right now that's Seoul. Not particularly enjoying it but knuckling down and getting on with the job with one eye on the return to VN, plus my R&R in Thailand .

cant dispute that,but i worked very hard to retire early so it was my desire to earn money that got me here.benefitted from the education,again it was me that pushed for a good job.many people have them priveledges and finish up doleys and druggies.Thailand isnt all good but much better than the pc brigade in uk.The thais are number one here and i dont mind that,its their country and i fit in,wish uk was liek that then maybe i would stlil be there.

[patklang]

When I'm on my property and with the animals , I feel happy and at home, but as soon as I step out, I am a freak, " Farang" alien that is stared at and spoken about as if she has a third arm protruding from her forehead.

So no, I do not feel at home in Thailand.

I get a lot of hostility on this forum for my less than favorable views on Thais, but I am betting this comes from men that have set themselves up with a very monetarily dependent Thai female who eases their way- provides sex on demand along with personal servant duties and insulates them from the more anti " Farang " elements. (how I HATE that term )

Try being a woman, used to independence - in this unbelievably sexist, xenophobic culture.

I want to leave, particularly after the events of the last week and I'm about to go ahead and spend an obscene amount of money to fly the horses - but I'll be damned if I'll do it out of Bangkok. I'd rather give that money to Malaysia where for some reason the airlines don't insist I use an " Agent" who inflates the price by 40 % .

Yes we are ATMs to Thais, as soon as you stop giving money, as soon as their use for you subsides-the smile goes away and you get the real face..

Did you use to use the name phuketti in your posts around the web ?

If so then you've been writing the exact same things on different boards for many years now.

Or maybe my memory is incorrect, somehow I doubt it.

Wow somebody has been hurt or dumped.so you think malaysia,vietnam,cambodia,laos is any different.my ex did me for 200,000 quid after 27 years of marriage so behave yourself and stop knocking thais because of a few.

[suiging]

Even " The King and I " had some baddies in it........

Live and let live, you will find good and bad no matter where you are, Thailand is no exception. The difference is, in my opinion, when you find a good one, their loyalty and friendship is quite something compared to what I have found where I came from.

[Kerryd]

Nonetheless, once you understand this, it's a v beautiful and relaxed place to live - just ignore the bg's and ex-pats with bg's and it's far more pleasant than home.

What are "bg's"?

Also known as "Poor, sweet, innocent farm girls trying to make a living and support their families by working in establishments that often have bars (and sometimes, chrome poles) in them".

"bg" is easier to speak and type though.

[patklang]

Even " The King and I " had some baddies in it........

Live and let live, you will find good and bad no matter where you are, Thailand is no exception. The difference is, in my opinion, when you find a good one, their loyalty and friendship is quite something compared to what I have found where I came from.

good post and totaly agree with you.

[patklang]

Nonetheless, once you understand this, it's a v beautiful and relaxed place to live - just ignore the bg's and ex-pats with bg's and it's far more pleasant than home.

What are "bg's"?

Also known as "Poor, sweet, innocent farm girls trying to make a living and support their families by working in establishments that often have bars (and sometimes, chrome poles) in them".

"bg" is easier to speak and type though.

so the bangkok girls dont come to pattaya then????

even uni students are in pattaya so dont come with this crap about farm girls.

[HorseDoctor]

[

Wow somebody has been hurt or dumped.so you think malaysia,vietnam,cambodia,laos is any different.my ex did me for 200,000 quid after 27 years of marriage so behave yourself and stop knocking thais because of a few.

Sorry for the big type, on Netscape today and it won't enlarge the type big enough to read and I can't type without looking..

It ain't "just a few" , it's every single business dealing I've had.. But, my fault ... yes I was naive, it didn't occur to me that someone would rent me a property they didn't own- or that lawyers by definition have blatant conflicts of interest. Or I should pay more for everything because I'm "Farang" or that lying is an acceptable practice. Yes I know peole lie all over but here it's a soure of pride it seems to successfully con

But now I know ...

My experiences living in Thailand with Thais are what I derive my opinions from and that is..

Money is all that matters, and Whitey is for getting money off of by any means and when Whitey wisens up then no more friendly Thai .

[Maigo6]

It ain't "just a few" , it's every single business dealing I've had.. But, my fault ... yes I was naive

Yep, a Friend of mine has just been ripped off by a developer who apparantley has ran out of money after taking all kinds of deposits from clients who were expecting to have a house on a lovely project, his is the only house that was finished as it was the show house, and all around him are overgrown empty plots, no reliable water, intermittent electricity supply that is unable to cope with using A/C plus Swimming pool pumps at the same time.....no security, no landscaping, dirt road etc etc........

Now he really regrets ever trusting the Farang developer that ripped off so many people.

I was renting a house in Thailand 18 years ago when I first came here, it was 7,000 Baht per Month in Pattaya, I rented it from a Farang, one day the Thai owner came round and asked for the rent !!

I'd already Paid the Farang 6 Months up front, as he told me it was his house. Of course he had disappeared owing the real owner rent money, and ripping me off at the same time !

You do have to be careful in Thailand, but not only of Thai people who will rip you off, there are many Farangs in Thailand that would rip you off without a second thought.

And those guys are quite successful at it cos maybe the punters read all the crap about how untrustworthy Thai people are , lulling them into a false sense of security when dealing with Farangs.

By the way, not all Farang fall into this catagory, likewise, not all Thais do either.

Edited December 6, 2008 by Maigo6

[RakJungTorlae]

I was quoted 100 baht for an 80 baht taxi ride, and I paid 79 baht for a easy 30 bath taco from a farang

Well MGH- Fools rush in where angles fear to tread.

Edited December 6, 2008 by RakJungTorlae

[farangnahrak]

Apologies for straying from the OP . . .

Maigo6, it is against the law for a foreigner to own a house or land. You should have known better

That being said, I've heard many firsthand stories of Thais conning farang (not just white farang, but chinese too). A lesson they always bark to me: hire your OWN lawyer and have him read your Thai language contract BEFORE signing anything. Never accept the first price, its always inflated. Actually, they tell me not to even do business in Thailand . . .

Even though I speak Thai, I prefer to send my thai gf in to do business on my behalf. She 'forgets' to mention that it's really for a farang, in effect getting me the Thai price. I trust her enough to sign contracts for me, which is good because only a Thai name on a contract actually means anything to Thai lawyers

[Maigo6]

I gave a Thai beggar 10 Baht and she thanked me, I gave a Farang Beggar 10 baht and he threw it back.