Can Marriages Survive Expat Life?

[davidj6]

I would be very interested in reading from men who are willing to share their experiences and willing to talk about the unique challenges of keeping a marriage alive in a place where one is surrounded by beautiful and charming thai woman. Tempted to dump your wife for a younger one? Has this already happen? Please, share your thoughts. By the way, I am a journalist working on a story on the subject. No need names, just experiences...

[Deke]

There are a lot of companies that won't send a married guy to Bangkok for just that reason. At least they won't send him on single status. I've also seen several marriages fail here when the expat husband decided to "upgrade". My personal opinion is that, if the marriage is a strong one, there is less likelihood of a problem. On the other hand, if there are already problems, those problems will be magnified here.

Another observation is that when, say, a foreign executive comes here, he spends virtually all of his waking hours doing something related to work. His wife on the other hand, has almost nothing to do. He comes home to a bunch of bitching and complaining.... From there it's a slippery slope.

[hanno]

Can Marriages Survive Expat Life?, the temptation of thai girls

I guess anyone asking that question has some serious marital problems to start off with

[kurnell]

99% play around.

[britmaveric]

Know many expat couples have no problem living in thailand. (thai ladies or men have no bearing their marriage)

[eek]

I've also seen several marriages fail here when the expat husband decided to "upgrade". < ?

My personal opinion is that, if the marriage is a strong one, there is less likelihood of a problem. On the other hand, if there are already problems, those problems will be magnified here. < TotaIIy agree! (magnified anywhere however, but yes I agree some countries more than others where men or women seem more accessible and/or approachable may make a person Iess IikeIy to want to work on or maintain a reIationship).

His wife on the other hand, has almost nothing to do. He comes home to a bunch of bitching and complaining.... From there it's a slippery slope. <Dont agree on this front though. I know a few gf/wives that Iove having free time. Time to spend money on leisurely or personaI pursuits that they wouIdnt have been abIe to do in the west.

Know many expat couples have no problem living in thailand. (thai ladies or men have no bearing their marriage) <ExactIy!

Maybe some peopIe have troubIe beIieving a man can be happy with his gf/wife (and vice-versa, regardIess of nationaIity, cuIturaI background, sociaI status etc). AII over the worId there is temptation, its up to the individuaI what they do with that. To some the risk of damaging a stabIe and happy reIationship wouId be too high a cost on a fIing, and they are happy enough in their current reIationship to not consider an aIternative one.

I would be very interested in reading from men who are willing to share their experiences and willing to talk about the unique challenges of keeping a marriage alive in a place where one is surrounded by beautiful and charming thai woman. Tempted to dump your wife for a younger one? Has this already happen? Please, share your thoughts. By the way, I am a journalist working on a story on the subject. No need names, just experiences...

Im not sure why it wouId be a unique chaIIenge. Temptation is internationaI.

Edited January 21, 2009 by eek

[bkkjames]

I would be very interested in reading from men who are willing to share their experiences and willing to talk about the unique challenges of keeping a marriage alive in a place where one is surrounded by beautiful and charming thai woman. Tempted to dump your wife for a younger one? Has this already happen? Please, share your thoughts. By the way, I am a journalist working on a story on the subject. No need names, just experiences...

In general (for me at least), I got the temptations out of my system years ago prior to meeting my wife. Been happily married for over a year now and first baby on the way.

However, would guess that a farang couple moving here might experience some discomfort (especially the wife), but then again, temptation is not far away - even back home. Not unique to Thailand.

[H2oDunc]

I came to Thailand with a farang missus. It certainly never bothered me as I am and always have been a one woman man. I have to say though it did bother the missus. She thought that as I was surrounded by all these slim, sexy girls I would be incapable of saying no! I don't know whether its a girl thing or not ? I never did cheat on her even when she was out of the country for long periods and I was in a town I had never been to before riding around Thailand on my bike. Whether she believed me or not I will never know. I can say though it did cause some friction if I went somewhere alone. Thats just one of the joys of being in a relationship.

[kurnell]

So few responses to a very relevant question. I think there is a silent mass not willing to admit that they dabble.

[Wilsun]

Can Marriages Survive Expat Life?

Yes, sure !

The only big problem we have is the rules of Thailand , its split a normal family-life, specialy for the thai-wife and children.

The visa for married couple stays touristvisa and has no security of longlife staying.

So, automatic it come to a money-issue ... and a family-issue.

Thailand can do much better for honest family reunions who leads to a happy .... then shall the survive bigger chance.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

So few responses to a very relevant question. I think there is a silent mass not willing to admit that they dabble.

particularly to a journo.

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

If you married the right woman to start with, I don't think you will have any problems. I would rather be with my wife than anyone else I have met. I do admire the opposite sex and enjoy seeing pretty ladies. But that does not mean I want to jump in bed with them.

My wife and I have been together for 36 years and I find her to be fun, pretty, smart, sexy and all I could ever ask for. No chance I would do anything to mess up our relationship.

[pjclark1]

Maybe some peopIe have troubIe beIieving a man can be happy with his gf/wife (and vice-versa, regardIess of nationaIity, cuIturaI background, sociaI status etc). AII over the worId there is temptation, its up to the individuaI what they do with that. To some the risk of damaging a stabIe and happy reIationship wouId be too high a cost on a fIing, and they are happy enough in their current reIationship to not consider an aIternative one.

Im not sure why it wouId be a unique chaIIenge. Temptation is internationaI.

Sorry to disagree but I was married in the western world for 30 years and although I worked in an area where there was supposedly plenty of temptation, I was never really tempted.

Being fat, old and bald stopped many of the girls trying.

Out here I lasted 1 day, and am further tempted on a daily basis (and it's not me doing the chasing). None of the girls seem overly concerned about my looks or age out here.

[CelticBhoy]

If you married the right woman to start with, I don't think you will have any problems. I would rather be with my wife than anyone else I have met. I do admire the opposite sex and enjoy seeing pretty ladies. But that does not mean I want to jump in bed with them.

My wife and I have been together for 36 years and I find her to be fun, pretty, smart, sexy and all I could ever ask for. No chance I would do anything to mess up our relationship.

Well said, Sir.

I'm not quite at the 36-year mark, but

am with you 100% on the rest.

[airplane]

The simple truth is that Thai and other Asian service women are available in any Western country. If a man is tempted here he would be tempted there. You would have to be blind not to see them in any major city in the West.

[Naam]

whenever i show signs of being tempted my wife hits me with hard objects (varying in shape and size) on the back of my skull till the temptations disappear

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

whenever i show signs of being tempted my wife hits me with hard objects (varying in shape and size) on the back of my skull till the temptations disappear

If you wear much looser trousers the temptation will not be so obvious.

[lannarebirth]

whenever i show signs of being tempted my wife hits me with hard objects (varying in shape and size) on the back of my skull till the temptations disappear

Ah, cranial shock aversion therapy can be most effective. Judging from your avatar it looks like she may have landed a few blows near the front of your skull as well.

[Slaps]

whenever i show signs of being tempted my wife hits me with hard objects (varying in shape and size) on the back of my skull till the temptations disappear

That will explain some of your posts then Naam

Joking

[barrella]

Before I came to Thailand the temptation thing had gone out the window.

I had been a very bad boy and out of the blue I met a women that just made temptation disappear. I am not sure if I was with another lady the devil on my shoulder might be there but since me and errr in doors have been together red devil has gone.

I echo what has been said before, there is nothing that seems to be on show here that is not in most countries even though in different cultures it maybe more behind close doors.

Why do you need to live in another country to be unfaithful it can be done anywhere.