What Do Thai Wives Want From Their Farang Husbands?

[rideswings]

Im planning on marrying a Thai woman in March. I would like to know what some of your experiences have been getting married to and being married to a Thai woman. Did anything change after you became husband and wife? What do you find makes her a happy woman? What do you do that really upsets her?

[barryofthailand]

Im planning on marrying a Thai woman in March. I would like to know what some of your experiences have been getting married to and being married to a Thai woman. Did anything change after you became husband and wife? What do you find makes her a happy woman? What do you do that really upsets her?

After you get married, you'll find out that the thing that makes Thai wives really happy are money, Gold, and the purchase of land such as a farm. After that a house etc, but like the book is titled "Money Number One"

Barry

Edited January 31, 2009 by barryofthailand

[LadyHeather]

Im planning on marrying a Thai woman in March. I would like to know what some of your experiences have been getting married to and being married to a Thai woman. Did anything change after you became husband and wife? What do you find makes her a happy woman? What do you do that really upsets her?

I am sorry, but I don't understand. You are marrying a woman in March and yet you are unaware what makes her happy and what makes her upset? Each person is an individual and you won't find this information on a forum. Might I suggest you ask your fiancee instead?

[DavidOxon]

In my experience, my Thai wife is MUCH easier to please and keep happy

than any Farang women I have known. Just likes, like anyone, to

be treated as Special. Not hard if you love her enough to marry her.

The odd pair of shoes never goes amis. Hates confrontation and

never argues. Just need to let her be 'right' on enough occasions

to avoid any sense of competition, like in all relationships.

Put in more than you take out -

David

[chiangmaibruce]

Alas, there is no easy short answer to your question. You are about to embark upon quite an adventure

If you haven't already done so then I suggest you obtain the book "Thailand Fever" by Paiboon Publishing (google this title), and encourage your fiance to read it to. There are other similar books around - read as much as you can to avoid misunderstandings which can lead to conflicts.

Also google on "why I never married a thai", a short story in the stickman bangkok web site, for a different but interesting perspective.

If both of you have some understanding of the fundamental differences and can talk about it, then this is a good start.

[TAWP]

- Money

- Light skinned kids

- Huge genitals

- No-limit ATM cards to access the first item

Discuss

(Did he really ask us what his fiancee likes? Should he really be marrying her? I'll give them 3 months, where he payed a 200K sin sot for a Buddist ceremony only.)

[h90]

consider that Thai women are not clones from each other and as different as farang women.

[rideswings]

To clarify, I am NOT asking what my fiancee likes, what do YOUR fiancees and wives like and what makes THEM happy?

[JAS21]

In my experience, my Thai wife is MUCH easier to please and keep happy

than any Farang women I have known. Just likes, like anyone, to

be treated as Special. Not hard if you love her enough to marry her.

The odd pair of shoes never goes amis. Hates confrontation and

never argues. Just need to let her be 'right' on enough occasions

to avoid any sense of competition, like in all relationships.

Put in more than you take out -

David

That is a good reply and my experience is about the same. However it dosn't apply to all Thai wives...you don't need to ask why do you!

[TAWP]

To clarify, I am NOT asking what my fiancee likes, what do YOUR fiancees and wives like and what makes THEM happy?

Which would give you squat nothing of an insight.

She likes cake.

[LadyHeather]

To clarify, I am NOT asking what my fiancee likes, what do YOUR fiancees and wives like and what makes THEM happy?

Why does it matter? Sure there are some cultural behaviors that will generally apply to most Thai people (the unwillingness to confront, for instance) but as has been said, women are not cookie cutter clones. What makes one woman happy will not necessarily have any relation at all to what makes another woman happy. I know many many Thai women and they are all unique. Just like Thai men, western men and western women. Sure most Thai women are not willing to confront, but that can hardly be said to be universal behavior as I have seen quite a few Thai women who are more than happy to confront.

It seems obvious to me that everyone likes to have consideration, respect and to be treated "special" (why some think a western woman would be any different in this respect I have no idea) but as to what makes a person happy, unhappy, angry or pleased is all so individual I can't understand why you would be interested in what makes other peoples wives happy or angry.

Edited January 31, 2009 by LadyHeather

[rideswings]

Please feel free to fill in the dots...

I am a farang married to a Thai woman and my wife likes .......

[rideswings]

Ladyheather - maybe I am trying to get some ideas of how to be a good husband. Whats your problem?

[LadyHeather]

Ladyheather - maybe I am trying to get some ideas of how to be a good husband. Whats your problem?

Not a problem, just a lack of comprehension. If you are trying to get an idea of how to be a good husband why are you asking men? Women don't always tell their husbands when he does something she doesn't like, just as not every husband knows everything that makes his wife happy. If you are just doing a poll or some kind of questionairre because you are curious, then thats fine too. But if you are looking for information on how to make your fiancee happy, I hope that you would talk to her about what she wants before taking the advice of strangers on a forum.

[monopoly]

Im planning on marrying a Thai woman in March. I would like to know what some of your experiences have been getting married to and being married to a Thai woman. Did anything change after you became husband and wife? What do you find makes her a happy woman? What do you do that really upsets her?

After you get married, you'll find out that the thing that makes Thai wives really happy are money, Gold, and the purchase of land such as a farm. After that a house etc, but like the book is titled "Money Number One"

Barry

i beg to differ.

thai girls dont give a hoot about material wealth.

they want kindness and love...........

[swain]

I agree "Thailand Fever" was the changing point in my relationship with my wife. One page is in Thai and the other in English. So even if your sweet heart doesn't read English she will be able to understand. I am not the same person I was when I first came to Thailand. I was like a lot of Americans that thought they could bring their American lifestyle with them when they came to Thailand. Too much can be said on this topic. The book really starts you on the path.

Alas, there is no easy short answer to your question. You are about to embark upon quite an adventure

If you haven't already done so then I suggest you obtain the book "Thailand Fever" by Paiboon Publishing (google this title), and encourage your fiance to read it to. There are other similar books around - read as much as you can to avoid misunderstandings which can lead to conflicts.

Also google on "why I never married a thai", a short story in the stickman bangkok web site, for a different but interesting perspective.

If both of you have some understanding of the fundamental differences and can talk about it, then this is a good start.

[TAWP]

Ladyheather - maybe I am trying to get some ideas of how to be a good husband. Whats your problem?

Be yourself. Unless you game-plan is to be someone else. Is that how you got engaged?

[neverdie]

Ladyheather - maybe I am trying to get some ideas of how to be a good husband. Whats your problem?

Not a problem, just a lack of comprehension. If you are trying to get an idea of how to be a good husband why are you asking men? Women don't always tell their husbands when he does something she doesn't like, just as not every husband knows everything that makes his wife happy. If you are just doing a poll or some kind of questionairre because you are curious, then thats fine too. But if you are looking for information on how to make your fiancee happy, I hope that you would talk to her about what she wants before taking the advice of strangers on a forum.

rideswings, what our dear ladyheather is trying to say "Women know everything, men know nothing". Thats something you are just about to learn when you get married.

Marriage is a great institution......only thing being, who wants to live in an institution.

To answer your question, when you first get married, it will be the little things you do that make her happy. When you've been married a long time....NOTHING WILL MAKE HER HAPPY!

Goodluck for March, I wish for you heaps of patients and tolerence.

[eek]

... maybe I am trying to get some ideas of how to be a good husband.

haha, cute!

Well, in that case,I would like to offer a few generic suggestions..

Compliment her, but not all the time or OTT. A few very small compliments a day will go a LONG way, and the occasional BIG compliment will make her feel really loved. But NOT too many, as it sounds fake, and gets boring.(Also, throw in a few slightly sexual compliments too. Not hard core! Just thinks like "darling, your body looks so beautiful/sexy in that dress". "What colour are you wearing today?" <said with a smile and a wink. You will likely get a playful slap. Dont underestimate the power of compliments on a woman who loves you. Its stored in her memory bank forever. Sweet words from a man helps a woman to feel beautiful, desired, loved.) Im sorry if that sounds old-fashioned, and if other women dont agree, but I think the average woman, no matter how independent, still loves to be spoken to in this way.

Occasionally do something special and/or take her somewhere special. Taking her somewhere nice to eat or whatever else where she can get dressed up and feel like she is being taken on a date feels great. Its fun to get dressed up and feel beautiful and sexy. It also makes her feel you are proud to still take her out and show her off. Treat her special on that night too, not just like the "wifey". Treat her like you would a date, with the same consideration (but not like a sap!..there is a balance!). Believe me, you should get it back ten-fold!

Dont put up with any Cr@p!If she has a valid point to make, listen to her. If she is upset, comfort her. But if she begins to nag or try to wear you down about things and gives you grief about something that isnt really important, walk away. Dont let your wife lose respect for you.

..um i think ill just stop now..because i think im going to get flack from both the women and men on TV for this. Maybe my ideas of what makes a successful relationship sound old-fashioned. I DO think their should be equality and mutual respect in a relationship, but i also think there should be some traditional roles included to. I know there are some unique differences between cultures, but I think some basic things cross over to all.

Anyway, good luck on being a good husband, and I hope your marriage is a long and happy one.

Edited January 31, 2009 by eek

[mattias33]

Please feel free to fill in the dots...

I am a farang married to a Thai woman and my wife likes .......

.....me!

And, she likes shopping. If i really want her to have a perfect day i should wake her up saying "lets go to bigc or tesco, eat in their foodcourt, then we need to shop alot of things for the house, then we go to the beach and you can have a good massage while i take care of my son, then in the evening i heard there is a market in a nearby tempel so lets go there and share a jug of chang and spend some money on meaningless small things and play wheel of fortune and lottery".

Now i dont do days like that very often. But she is fairly ok with any of those above things once a week. In general, showing her somekind of interesst now and then. Like any woman i suppose.

But to the op, you have to reconcider your question a bit. "What should i expect when i marry a Thai" is a bit crazy. Like others say, all women are individuals and i also suggest you get to know your fiance better. We dont know her, you should! What generally speaking difference Thaiwomen from westernwomen is attitude if you ask me. Its not humiliating to take care of your husband. It is what a good wife wants to do. The difference i see on my wife compared to former westerngirlfriends is that she feels that cleaning the home is her job. Making sure i am happy is also "her job". She always ask "have you eaten yet" and stuff like that. She have a pride in making sure i have clean clothes and other things that in Europe nowadays does not excist, because women try to be men and men try to be women so equality is reached. But offcourse, it´s a generalisiation and you find good and bad women everywhere in the world. Thais are not brought up with feminism in the way my generation in Europe is, that might be the bigger difference if i should point out anything.

[Gary A]

Some women (and men) are impossible to make happy. I will tell a person to choose carefully. If you choose an immature, jealous, insecure clinging vine type, you are doomed. Yeah, it's cute for her (him) to be very jealous but you will soon get VERY sick of that. Some will say that age makes no difference but DON'T believe it. If you keep your eyes and mind open during courtship you should easily be able to tell what your partner expects and what makes her (him) happy. Never be afraid to walk away if you decide it isn't going to work. It will be easier now than later. My Thai wife and I never had the whirlwind lusty wild sex type of relationship. We have grown much closer over the years. Both of you deserve happiness from the relationship and if both of you don't give your share both will be unhappy.

[a3tsw]

To answer your question, when you first get married, it will be the little things you do that make her happy. When you've been married a long time....NOTHING WILL MAKE HER HAPPY!

:D

[spongeman]

From my experience Thai wives want their farang husbands to whip them.

Whip me.....Whip me........Whip me...........

Cash / Land / More Cash / Sense of Humour also helps.

Best of luck........Preferably the winning of the lottery type luck..........

[Geekfreaklover]

Im planning on marrying a Thai woman in March. I would like to know what some of your experiences have been getting married to and being married to a Thai woman. Did anything change after you became husband and wife? What do you find makes her a happy woman? What do you do that really upsets her?

where will you be living after you wed.? Thailand or farangland? Makes a big difference/.

GFL.

[TJAN]

Ladyheather - maybe I am trying to get some ideas of how to be a good husband. Whats your problem?

LADYHEATHER DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM AND SHE KNOW'S WHAT SHE WANT,YOU ARE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.

[dumball]

From what I have gathered talking to both men and women over a few years , there are only THREE things A tHAI FEMALE DESIRES .

MONEY_______MONEY_________MONEY____

Should you be able to supply all three of these desires in a constant flow , marriage will be bliss .

Forgot to mention , at all times you are expected to perform as a small boy

BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD .

[wamberal]

Im planning on marrying a Thai woman in March. I would like to know what some of your experiences have been getting married to and being married to a Thai woman. Did anything change after you became husband and wife? What do you find makes her a happy woman? What do you do that really upsets her?

Firstly, let me apologise on behalf of those who are so bitter and twisted that they just cannot bear the possibility that somebody else might be happy. There are a lot of them around on ThaiVisa.

Secondly, to answer your question. Nothing at all changed after we became husband and wife, we had been living together for about three months, and then got married (church wedding, in Sydney, family and friends).

The things that make my wife happy are: when I spend time to listen to her and talk with her

when I take her thoughts and ideas seriously

when she goes shopping with her friends (she spends very little, incidentally - she just enjoys wandering around looking at stuff

when I am jai yen.

The only thing that really upsets her is if I get a bit cranky with her, or don't listen to her.

Something that I have observed pretty universally in Thai culture is that Thai people really enjoy having fun, doing things together, and my wife certainly does. Simple pleasures.

It occurs to me that some of the bitter posters never learned this simple truth, and so their wives, girlfriends, partners, whatever, went for the money instead.

[Shotime]

Some women (and men) are impossible to make happy. I will tell a person to choose carefully. If you choose an immature, jealous, insecure clinging vine type, you are doomed. Yeah, it's cute for her (him) to be very jealous but you will soon get VERY sick of that. Some will say that age makes no difference but DON'T believe it. If you keep your eyes and mind open during courtship you should easily be able to tell what your partner expects and what makes her (him) happy. Never be afraid to walk away if you decide it isn't going to work. It will be easier now than later. My Thai wife and I never had the whirlwind lusty wild sex type of relationship. We have grown much closer over the years. Both of you deserve happiness from the relationship and if both of you don't give your share both will be unhappy.

Be a good guy. Learn to listen without talking. Show you care. Don't yell at her. Take good care of her.

I'm not quite ready for the type of relationship Gary A's talking about. However, it's all good advice. I would like to ask something regarding the jealousy thing. Are they jealous of losing you or just where else you might be spending your money?

[patklang]

Im planning on marrying a Thai woman in March. I would like to know what some of your experiences have been getting married to and being married to a Thai woman. Did anything change after you became husband and wife? What do you find makes her a happy woman? What do you do that really upsets her?

some strange posts on here about thai women,but i will try to answer your question if you don tknow.

from a happy life to a hit squad hired to kill you.does that give you any idea now.

[Geekfreaklover]

It's also important to think about what you want from the relationship too.

If you start bending over backwards to please her (and not considering your own needs) you will end up getting buggered yourself (excuse the imagery) emotionally and financally.

My advice - Ask yourself why you are getting married. If you are convinced its for love then would advise the following.

Don't show weekness. Set clear rules. Never lose your temper. Learn to speak Thai. Learn to smile when everything is going against you. Don't ignore her, but don't smother her. Have common interests. Random gifts. Meals out together.

If money becomes an issue - run forest run.

I've always found realtionships with Thais to be easy if you set yourself limitations in what you can offer.

Oh, and one more thing. Joking and fooling aroung (sanok) goes a long way in keeping things happy.

Edited January 31, 2009 by Geekfreaklover