Getting Custody Of Thai Daughter

[seaneee]

My daughter is 15 months old, and i am registered on her birth certificate. To cut a long story short, i found out that my ex-girlfriend was already married to a falang, and everything she ever told me was a complete lie.Her husband basically was in Europe working, although she was living with me and had my child.When i found everything out, she said she would take my child to Europe and her husband would care for my daughter as his own. Very hard times, but a few weeks after birth, i allowed her to take my daughter abroad, and at her request i should forget i had a daughter.Two weeks ago i got an email saying this guy was hitting my ex, and she needed to get back from Europe quickly. I sent her the money. It turns out she never took my daughter to Europe, but merely left her with the "family" in Isaan to take care of her and although i have now met her and she seems well cared for, i want to take care of her myself, as i now believe my ex is not capable of the job.I am 37yrs old, and financially sound.My ex has siad she will sign all rights to my daughter over to me in return for a sum of money i deem reasonable. My daughter has never been registered with the British embassy.

Questions....

1. how do i get legal custody, so the ex has no comeback?

2. can i get a british passport for my daughter and how?

Many thanks.

Edited March 6, 2009 by seaneee

[Mario2008]

Were you married to the mother when the child was born or was your ex-girlfriend allready married to the other guy? It seems she was already married then and I think your child is legaly his.

I suggest you contact forumsponsor isaanlawyers for proper advise, as this would be a complicated case. You find their banner on the top of this page and have a good reputation regarding family law.

[seaneee]

I was at the birth, and i registered the child as mine.I have also just got the results of a DNA test which confirm my child.This dna test was carried out by a UK lab.

I never married my ex.She was only my girlfriend.

Edited March 6, 2009 by seaneee

[kurnell]

You can get her registered at the British Embassy. Both my collegues did it and so will I with my daughters.

How much is your daughter worth??

[soundman]

Have a read through this topic.

[torrenova]

Registering with the British Embassy is meaningless. It is not required for citizenship nor a passport. You and you alone can get her a UK passport. The mother does not have to sign anything. You would both be required to go with your daughter to get a Thai passport.

Simply put, I think you can both go to court to arrange for you to have sole custody. Get some legal advice.

You do not say whether you want to keep the child in Thailand or take her to live in the UK.

Numerous threads dealt with issues around this topic over the last 12 months. There are different levels of formality you can consider, most of which depend on where you want to live and how much co-operation your ex gives you.

Selling kids to the foreign fathers is not a new subject in Thailand.

[Mario2008]

I was at the birth, and i registered the child as mine.I have also just got the results of a DNA test which confirm my child.This dna test was carried out by a UK lab.

I never married my ex.She was only my girlfriend.

That is nice, but you don't state if the mother was married to some one alse at the time. In Many countries the child will then automatically be the legal child of the father. In some countries the child can be your if your wife husbands declares the child is not his. For the legal consequences under Thai law you will have to contact a lawyer as I think this case requires a fair amount of knowledge of Thai family law.

[phuketrichard]

My ex and i had a child and i was noted as the dad on the BC. WE then got her a US and Thai passport.

WE then got married and that was the start of the end.

You will need to go to Childrens court and have them appoint u as the sole custodian of ur daughter, (u need this paper to get her thai passport till she is 18 (otherwise BOTH parents need sign) and for her western passport varies , for US its till she is 16) its very simple process and in the courts eyes thais and farangs are equal and the best interest of the child is all that matters.

Get a lawyer ( mine in Phuket cost me 50,000 baht) agree on an amout with her and then have a paper drawn up and have her sign it with the lawyers. Thats what i did and she never even bothered going to court and contesting the divorce or my request for sole custody.

DO IT fast while she still needs/wants money!! Don't give her 6 figures even if she asks and if she cant come to a resonable amount, ( yea, i know, what is reasonable???... my ex took 150,000 at the end and wanted 2,000,000) get the lawyer to handle it!!

For the future be ready when she starts asking why mom doesn't come home>> My daughter was 7 when my ex started leaving us so bonding so no problem but it took years till my daughter could see my ex without crying. This was all y ex's fault. With ur daughter being so young u will not have these problems but the time will come when she will ask, "where is mom"

Edited March 8, 2009 by phuketrichard

[kurnell]

Registering with the British Embassy is meaningless. It is not required for citizenship nor a passport. You and you alone can get her a UK passport. The mother does not have to sign anything. You would both be required to go with your daughter to get a Thai passport.

Simply put, I think you can both go to court to arrange for you to have sole custody. Get some legal advice.

You do not say whether you want to keep the child in Thailand or take her to live in the UK.

Numerous threads dealt with issues around this topic over the last 12 months. There are different levels of formality you can consider, most of which depend on where you want to live and how much co-operation your ex gives you.

Selling kids to the foreign fathers is not a new subject in Thailand.

i.e. registered for British citizenship

[Mario2008]

All nice and well, but I would first make sure OP is the legal father of the child.

[torrenova]

Registering with the British Embassy is meaningless. It is not required for citizenship nor a passport. You and you alone can get her a UK passport. The mother does not have to sign anything. You would both be required to go with your daughter to get a Thai passport.

Simply put, I think you can both go to court to arrange for you to have sole custody. Get some legal advice.

You do not say whether you want to keep the child in Thailand or take her to live in the UK.

Numerous threads dealt with issues around this topic over the last 12 months. There are different levels of formality you can consider, most of which depend on where you want to live and how much co-operation your ex gives you.

Selling kids to the foreign fathers is not a new subject in Thailand.

i.e. registered for British citizenship

Sorry ? what are you gong on about ?

Registering the kid at the British Embassy is meaningless and just another way for them to collect fees. Why ? well you will get the kid's Thai birth certificate made out as a UK one but what do you think they do with the translated Thai one you give them to get the UK passport ? Just chuck it in the bin ? or perhaps scan it into the same system and then file it away, like a normal UK birth certificate ?

Citizenship had nothing at all to do with registration at the British Embassy.

[seaneee]

OK, just a heads up. Thanks to all of you for the information. I have now seen a family lawyer who was recommended to me. I will start the legal process soon.The lawyer has quoted 50,000baht for everything as long as it goes smoothly with the ex agreeing. I will keep you all informed as things happen.

[torrenova]

How is it that if I had to think of a figure for a Thai lawyer, 50k would be the figure I would come up with. Where is the XYZ per hour that professionals normally charge ?

Recommended or not, watch out that your lawyer is not just playing you as an ATM.

I would get some sort of description as to what was being done for 50k ?

In addition, as your ex and you seem to have come to a financial arrangement, why on earth does a lawyer need 50k to draw up some simple paperwork ?

Sorry for being sceptical but there are not many posts about good Thai lawyers or lawyers in Thailand.

[BangRon]

On child custody subject; check out a very well put together and interesting reader submission on stickmanweekly.com ; readers' submissions #17 3/11/2008-present ; " Child Custody in Thai Family Court by Phil Ross " , story related to custody laws in Thailand, Thai bureaucracy, Thai pride, money expenses, lawers; though with determination this falung won 100% custody within the Thai courts. Congrads!

[seaneee]

How is it that if I had to think of a figure for a Thai lawyer, 50k would be the figure I would come up with. Where is the XYZ per hour that professionals normally charge ?

Recommended or not, watch out that your lawyer is not just playing you as an ATM.

I would get some sort of description as to what was being done for 50k ?

In addition, as your ex and you seem to have come to a financial arrangement, why on earth does a lawyer need 50k to draw up some simple paperwork ?

Sorry for being sceptical but there are not many posts about good Thai lawyers or lawyers in Thailand.

Ok here goes. As i expected, even if the ex agrees , which she has, i still need to apply to the courts for legitimization, which gives me 50% custody.Ive been told this might take 3 weeks. I then need to apply to the family court for full custody, and appear before the family court.This might take 3 or 4 months. The hearings might happen to be upcountry, but the lawyer will try to register the child on my housebook in chonburi, and get it heard down here. The lawyer and his wife are friends of friends, and are highly recomended to me. The figure quoted was an outside estimate, and not a quote.Sorry i said quote in my earlier post. The lawyer does indeed have hourly charges, and travelling fees etc. The figure quoted was what previous clients had ended up paying.

[phuketrichard]

mine cost me 50,000 as well and that was back in 2005.

R u thai? how can this be if not, "The hearings might happen to be upcountry, but the lawyer will try to register the child on my housebook in chonburi" How can u have a house book, ( Tam Bien Baan) do u own a hosue there?

From when i paid the lawyer till we had the final court where i went took about 2 months

then there decision came down in my favor 10 days later along with the paper stating i am sole custody.

The lawyers fees included all work for the court ( more than once he went where i was not needed) Plus all translations of paper work and tyanslating in court plus most important dealing woith my ex as a thai to thai. VERY IMPORTANT

50 is cheap thats less than $1,500 tryand get that from a lawyer in America!!!

Just for record, what did she ageee to as payment? like is said i payed 150,000

Edited March 11, 2009 by phuketrichard

[seaneee]

I am farang, and i own a house through a company, and also a condo which is in my name. I will leave the lawyer to decide where to register the baby.

She wanted a million baht. I have negotiated down to half a million. I have read a story about a n Australian who ended up going through the courts fighting his ex, and it took 5 years and $100,000 dollars. By agreeing to this amount, i will have my daughter with me quickly. It seems well worth it to me. Does she deserve it? NO,NO,NO! This will be the last money she will ever get from me.Ever!.

I believe in what goes around, comes around!

[isaanspy]

Very informative thread. My missus and I are about to split, or so it seems anyway. I am taking the kids to the states tomorrow, humorously enough, with her Mom to visit my folks. I am coming back early to try and sort us once and for all, be there divorce or not, but the kids are staying in the states to get acclimated, better their English, and start school there in the fall. I've decided that is the best for them anyway as I cannot afford an international school program here and I simply can't get inspired by the options.

Short of her moving to America and changing her act (alcohol) I guess I am to assume we are done. Now it's just to decide does she want to be involved in their lives or not.

I'm pretty much sick to my stomach, but I can't see these kids lives destroyed by alcohol and a culture that seems to say not being there is okay. (SIGH) I have a lot of changes coming, not least of which seems a permanent move back to the states.

Assuming this moves towards divorce, I've no idea what to do of course if she contests custody, but the kids will be in the states through that, so at least they don't have to be around the ugliness.

[phuketrichard]

I sent my daughter to the states last May and she is going to school and living with my sister while i remain here, For me living in america is not an Option but my daughter loves it as she just started 9th grade.

One thing she commented on was how stupid the kids in her class are (she attended international school the whole time we lived in Phuket.

Your taking ur wifes mom to the states with out ur wife?? wow ur brave. Get papers signed and full custody of ur kids via the court as u need thta to get passports after current ones expire!!!

[Sheryl]

I am farang, and i own a house through a company, and also a condo which is in my name. I will leave the lawyer to decide where to register the baby.

She wanted a million baht. I have negotiated down to half a million. I have read a story about a n Australian who ended up going through the courts fighting his ex, and it took 5 years and $100,000 dollars. By agreeing to this amount, i will have my daughter with me quickly. It seems well worth it to me. Does she deserve it? NO,NO,NO! This will be the last money she will ever get from me.Ever!.

I believe in what goes around, comes around!

Seaneee,

It sounds like you are in good hands legal-wise and doing all the right things.

Just want to say that I really admire you for facing up to a difficult situation and taking swift action to safeguard your child. You are absolutely right that waht gfoes around comes around and you won't regret this.

I have seen soem really heart-breaking cases where farang men in similiar situations just left their child to the whims of the (unbalanced) mother. Good for you & all the best