How To Save An Aspiring Bar Girl?

[pappy1]

well, I expect there will be plenty of flippant, facetious, sanctimonious replies to this but here we go.

I know a young lady who is NOT a bar girl. She is from a slum in Lad Prao, her stepfather is a drunk, her mother has a two year old baby as well as this daughter who is 21. Her name is "J".

J's mother wants her to go work in a go go bar to support the family. The mother does not work and has J wrapped around her little finger. The stepfather is violent and abusive.

The go go bar is attractive for J because....

1. She thinks she can help her mother/baby sister.

2. She can live by herself away from the abusive (physically, he has threatened sexually before too) stepfather.

3. She is from a slum and likes the idea of having money and the power and perceived worth that that brings.

4. She thinks she can find a farang "boyfriend" at the bars (she hates Thai guys)

J is uneducated and left school at 14. It is true she will make money and help her family. However, she has no other idea of what to do and seems to me to be unduly controlled by her mother and, understandably, greedy for money beyong the poverty she has grown up with.

Please help me.....does she have any options bearing in mind she needs to get away from the stepfather and help her (blo#dy selfish) mother and she has no education so will only be able to get a crappy 6000 bhat a month job. She speaks good English, is pretty but other than that has no other "qualifications".

Thanks for any caring and positive ideas. I am not expecting much. I want to talk her out of the go go bar but.......I cannot find anything better.

Man stop saving them or I'll have to go home (humor needed)

Dude she's scamming you with a baby to boot, run fast, change phone number. Couple of things you can do off the top of my head.

[TonySoprano]

many people here sound so bitter.

i guess they learned from experience.

still, i still feel like i have to tip my hat to those who take the chance with a gal from the wrong side of the tracks. at least they are willing to risk it for love. many here seem to be in a grumpy old man stage where they absolutely loathe the sex workers who are coincidentally their primary reason for being here.

but what do i know? i am only in my twenties, semi-retired, and still have my hair.

[khundon]

Aren't discussions involving coal miners against the forum rules? You know how sensitive people are about coal mining.

No that's gold diggers.

[think_too_mut]

many people here sound so bitter.

i guess they learned from experience.

still, i still feel like i have to tip my hat to those who take the chance with a gal from the wrong side of the tracks. at least they are willing to risk it for love. many here seem to be in a grumpy old man stage where they absolutely loathe the sex workers who are coincidentally their primary reason for being here.

but what do i know? i am only in my twenties, semi-retired, and still have my hair.

You are right. You know no fear, you know no danger, you know - nothing.

[RubbaJohnny]

In my bones I feel the 2 yr old may well be hers rather than lazy ole mum

Your the next punter on the magic rounabout

If you want to know how much you each feel visi an ATM and be ready for dishappointment

[wileycoyote]

Is that quote from " Johnny English"

[C4Chilli]

a) Girl goes to school.

End of school party.

c) Everyone boom boom everyone.

d) Out pops baby.

e) Parents/grandparents look after baby.

f) Girl goes to work (not necessarily bar) to support family.

g) Child grows up and if female back to a)

If baby is not conceived at then it will occure soon after wjth Thai boyfriend so go to d)

It is Thai culture (amongst many other places in the world) for children to take care of their parents/grandparents. A way of repaying them for giving them life and caring for them while young.

Maybe some western societies could adopt this way of thinking instead of packing their ageing relatives off to the nursing home.

[pappy1]

many people here sound so bitter.

i guess they learned from experience.

still, i still feel like i have to tip my hat to those who take the chance with a gal from the wrong side of the tracks. at least they are willing to risk it for love. many here seem to be in a grumpy old man stage where they absolutely loathe the sex workers who are coincidentally their primary reason for being here.

but what do i know? i am only in my twenties, semi-retired, and still have my hair.

It's not bitterness, its practical. If the OP knows the full skinny, then its up to him if he wants to help. I would give further advice if he really does want to help then do it in a non-financial way. I suspect she doesn't want that kind of help and again his decision. Personally I have heard all that before and in the beginning you might have a bit of a softer "heart" for it, but it gets old to the point of insulting intelligence. You start thinking why don't they come up with a better plan, the simple answer is there really isn't one. We come here expecting to find beautiful girls to be in "western" style relationships. It doesn't happen that way, however there is a niche market for taking advantage of that and that's what happens (I'm talking about this type of scenario only, by all means I am not applying it generality).

Just a practical opinion and yes it would be nice to actually help people in difficult situations, its really a pity a lot of the falang see this as opposed to their own social system (bleeding now)

[Heng]

I'll take my danger two hours at a time, thanks.

Better than finding out later that the hot rod you fell for was really the last Daewoo on the lot (which typically comes to light after you put a few million Baht under the hood).

Edited March 27, 2009 by Heng

[TonySoprano]

many people here sound so bitter.

i guess they learned from experience.

still, i still feel like i have to tip my hat to those who take the chance with a gal from the wrong side of the tracks. at least they are willing to risk it for love. many here seem to be in a grumpy old man stage where they absolutely loathe the sex workers who are coincidentally their primary reason for being here.

but what do i know? i am only in my twenties, semi-retired, and still have my hair.

It's not bitterness, its practical. If the OP knows the full skinny, then its up to him if he wants to help. I would give further advice if he really does want to help then do it in a non-financial way. I suspect she doesn't want that kind of help and again his decision. Personally I have heard all that before and in the beginning you might have a bit of a softer "heart" for it, but it gets old to the point of insulting intelligence. You start thinking why don't they come up with a better plan, the simple answer is there really isn't one. We come here expecting to find beautiful girls to be in "western" style relationships. It doesn't happen that way, however there is a niche market for taking advantage of that and that's what happens (I'm talking about this type of scenario only, by all means I am not applying it generality).

Just a practical opinion and yes it would be nice to actually help people in difficult situations, its really a pity a lot of the falang see this as opposed to their own social system (bleeding now)

fair enough. i would say though that most definitely sound bitter.

reading these threads can be depressing. i go back and forth between making fun of and feeling bad for all the jilted farang.

[Maizefarmer]

Anyone sitting out to teach a bar girl about life is in for an education

Ha - very well said, indeed - and for many it becomes a very expensive education indeed!

[wefearourdespot]

Keep on walking and don't look back. Thailand is full of these women.

Thank God for that !

[wefearourdespot]

Her name is "J".

So when is she going to add a "B" before that "J" ?

[Shotime]

many people here sound so bitter.

i guess they learned from experience.

still, i still feel like i have to tip my hat to those who take the chance with a gal from the wrong side of the tracks. at least they are willing to risk it for love. many here seem to be in a grumpy old man stage where they absolutely loathe the sex workers who are coincidentally their primary reason for being here.

but what do i know? i am only in my twenties, semi-retired, and still have my hair.

What does being in your twenties, semi-retired, and still having your hair have to do with what you know? Which, as someone already pointed out is nothing. Even saying that, you feel it necessary to share your thoughts on the motivations and feelings of much older men. As Ravi Shankar said to me once when I told him his music was very soothing to me after a night of drugs/booze, women, and R&R : "You have much to learn my son."

You sound like a cool guy.

Edited March 27, 2009 by Shotime

[mahtin]

many people here sound so bitter.

i guess they learned from experience.

still, i still feel like i have to tip my hat to those who take the chance with a gal from the wrong side of the tracks. at least they are willing to risk it for love. many here seem to be in a grumpy old man stage where they absolutely loathe the sex workers who are coincidentally their primary reason for being here.

but what do i know? i am only in my twenties, semi-retired, and still have my hair.

What does being in your twenties, semi-retired, and still having your hair have to do with what you know? Which, as someone already pointed out is nothing. Even saying that, you feel it necessary to share your thoughts on the motivations and feelings of much older men. As Ravi Shankar said to me once when I told him his music was very soothing to me after a night of drugs/booze, women, and R&R : "You have much to learn my son."

You sound like a cool guy.

He may still have his hair, but with that nick you have to wonder what he doesn't have...

[jbowman1993]

4 pages of Troll feeding so far. Keep it going boys!!!!

Edited March 27, 2009 by jbowman1993

[colino]

Soooooo boring

Not my baby

Not want to work bar

Gold shop going to keep necklace , buffalo sick needs medicine , need good man look after me ,Telephone not good ,

Got man got ATM

Please please please finish this ssssslowwwww death

Ps to the OP get to the airport ASAP and go home while you have the cash please.

colino

[rolypie]

In my bones I feel the 2 yr old may well be hers rather than lazy ole mum

Your the next punter on the magic rounabout

If you want to know how much you each feel visi an ATM and be ready for dishappointment

THe child will be hers no doubt ive seen it at close hand, my wifes ''cousins'' Have new motor bikes new clothes parents not working and all have several ferang boyfriends to keep them in luxury children are just a thing that goes with the territory

[pop_corn]

she just want to!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't you see it? as a woman I tell you I would never do such a thing, I prefer to have 6000 than getting undress for money, or stuff like that. Or I would get 2 jobs! anything but selling my butt!. Disgusting woman! ew!

[Livinginexile]

I used to love finding these women in my younger days.

It's amazing what they will do for you if they think they've found a walking ATM

[sassienie]

Forget the good intentions, you're wasting your time.

The word out on the street is, don't get involved with Thai women, especially during this worldwide economic crisis.

Aren't you married to a Thai woman?

Hardly see the releveance ,so am i, however she dosent want to ,and never did work "the bar " .i think he probably means bar girl types,( the circles he mixes in ? ) and i dont think the economy has anything to do with it ! ..a lot of men have learnt from their mistakes, op sounds like another one in the making,.

Extremely relevant considering he's seriously dumping on Thai women. If he means bargirls, he would or should say "bargirls." As you well know, not all Thai women are scheming scammers so he's basically promoting racism against Thai women with his post, and thought I remembered him saying he was married to a Thai woman.

I am married to a Thai lady.

My wife was the niece of the Thai Ambassador to London. She lived at the Thai embassy in Kensington, London. We met at a restaurant in London and were married in England on October 1987.

I had a good job as a senior printer with the British government and my wife was the secretary for her Uncle at the embassy. We were compatible financially and comes from a Thai middleclass family. So she was not desperate for cash or for wanting to gain money for her family.

But those over here who are dirt poor, the girl have everything to gain and the Farang everything to lose.

My wife is 56 years old now and at that age is hardly likely to be accepted for employment as a bargirl.

My point is that things are different now, these are desperate times, a more competitive world and tougher to obtain employment and income.

With this the knock on affects are more corruption, deceptions and crime.

All I’m saying is, don’t take things at face value and be cautious as Farangs in Thailand are being seen as a quick fix solution to these girls financial problems and they will lie, cheat and deceive in order to obtain their goals for financial gain.

Below is a photo of my wife taken when she was 25 at the Thai embassy in Sweden.

Our daughter now works as a music teacher as is a part time policewoman with the Immigration department in Chiang Mai.

Edited March 27, 2009 by sassienie

[Livinginexile]

I am married to a Thai lady.

My wife was the niece of the Thai Ambassador to London. She lived at the Thai embassy in Kensington, London. We met at a restaurant in London and were married in England on October 1987.

She is 56 years old now and at that age is hardly likely to be accepted for employment as a bargirl.

My point is that things are different now, these are desperate times, a more competitive world and tougher to obtain employment and income.

With this the knock on affects are more corruption, deceptions and crime.

All I’m saying is, don’t take things at face value and be cautious as Farangs in Thailand are being seen as a quick fix solution to these girls financial problems and they will lie, cheat and deceive in order to obtain their goals for financial gain.

Below is a photo of my wife taken in 1984 when she was 31 although she looked younger, at the Thai embassy in Sweden.

Our daughter now works as a music teacher and is a part time policewoman with the Immigration department in Chiang Mai.

Ohh here we go again.

So what's THAT got to do with the price of eggs??

Another "My Thai wife is Chinese, rich, makes more money than me, daughter of the richest, blah blah blah type.

Why do these guys feel the need to post this crap?

Sheesh

[sassienie]

That`s amazing, how did you know my wife is Chinese and rich? Spookeeeeeee

[Livinginexile]

That`s amazing, how did you know my wife is Chinese and rich? Spookeeeeeee

[Jimjim]

In his defense he was responding to my post.

However, his viewpoint his highly cynical in my opinion, and it's coming from someone on the outside of "the scene." He assumes everyone who finds a Thai girlfriend finds them in Nana.

Edited March 28, 2009 by Jimjim

[imaneggspurt]

Why not let her work in a go-go bar?

As you said, it would allow her to move out of an abusive environment, have more money, be independent and still be able to support the family (and younger sibling).

Good for her.

She probably did already, thats were she learned to lie so easily.

Bar girls ar 90% fuc_ked up emotionally and morally. Specially those that have to deal with the brits and german package tourists.

I agree, they are beyond help,and most enjoy it whatever they say, look around at how many have married foreigners and end up back at the bar, NEXT !

[CelticBhoy]

I used to love finding these women in my younger days.

It's amazing what they will do for you if they think they've found a walking ATM

Fine post. Exactly what I did in days gone by. Take advantage!

[PeaceBlondie]

I stopped reading when marksamui at post #40 wisely guessed that the 2 year old baby belongs to the 21 year old girl. I agree that if this is not a wind-up initial post, the girl started working as a bargirl at age 14. Run away

[anothertorres]

her mother has a two year old baby as well as this daughter who is 21.

that's J's baby, bro.

J's mother wants her to go work in a go go bar to support the family.

whose mother doesn't want that of their little girls!

She speaks good English, is pretty but other than that has no other "qualifications".

wait, where did she learn english??? uh dude, she's already working the bars.

Thanks for any caring and positive ideas. I am not expecting much. I want to talk her out of the go go bar but.......I cannot find anything better.

you are a true gentleman, but you're being had. run away, find a girl working the counter at Tesco.

[neverdie]

I stopped reading when marksamui at post #40 wisely guessed that the 2 year old baby belongs to the 21 year old girl. I agree that if this is not a wind-up initial post, the girl started working as a bargirl at age 14. Run away

The only person to 'Run away' is the OP, after he dropped this beauty on the forum .

So many words of wisdom.....what did we do before the days of Thai Visa