Sexually Harrassed

[longstebe]

The only time I ever came across something similar was in the wifes village.The lady was about 40-45 yrs old and couldn't stop staring at me and touching my hand in front of her husband and my wife.Dont get me wrong she was drinking some of the Lao Kao.Maybe I should ask the wife if she wants to move to KK,its still Isaan!

MILK IT

[mc2]

But Thailand is quite unique when it comes to relationships between women.

I have a few female friends that after they got their heart broken, ended up in relationships with Toms.

Kind of strange really, because they still claim that they are straight, and not even bisexual.

They stay in the relationship with the Tom, until something better comes a long.

Not really a big deal they say. Its so much better than being lonely.

yes i agree its a bit strange.

i heard of something like this too.

i was unable to determine if it was for emotional closeness or also physical.

[Travel2003]

But Thailand is quite unique when it comes to relationships between women.

I have a few female friends that after they got their heart broken, ended up in relationships with Toms.

Kind of strange really, because they still claim that they are straight, and not even bisexual.

They stay in the relationship with the Tom, until something better comes a long.

Not really a big deal they say. Its so much better than being lonely.

yes i agree its a bit strange.

i heard of something like this too.

i was unable to determine if it was for emotional closeness or also physical.

This is where the strange part is sometimes, as the ones I talked with had a physical relationship with their Tom, but still claiming they were straight.

Upon asking why they did the physical acts when claiming they were straight, they replied almost identical, that they were taken good care of, treated with respect and love, so they were happy to give something back, and not only receive.

Surely there are loads of them that only have the emotional relationship.

Anyhow,

back to the subject discussed in the thread.

[Geekfreaklover]

But Thailand is quite unique when it comes to relationships between women.

I have a few female friends that after they got their heart broken, ended up in relationships with Toms.

Kind of strange really, because they still claim that they are straight, and not even bisexual.

They stay in the relationship with the Tom, until something better comes a long.

Not really a big deal they say. Its so much better than being lonely.

yes i agree its a bit strange.

i heard of something like this too.

i was unable to determine if it was for emotional closeness or also physical.

I think it is because Thai girls in general are afraid to sleep alone. So a woman that has been treated badly by a man doesn't want to be sleeping with another man and she can't sleep alone. Obvious answer sleep with another woman. The other "friend" is normall lesiban and the passive heart broken girl puts up with the messy stuff so she don't have to sleep alone.

But getting back to being sexually harrassed - I was 'touched' in an intimate area by a young lady of dubious occupation walking down the street, broad daylight on lower Sukhumvit the other day and rather enjoyed it.

[RakJungTorlae]

But Thailand is quite unique when it comes to relationships between women.

I have a few female friends that after they got their heart broken, ended up in relationships with Toms.

Kind of strange really, because they still claim that they are straight, and not even bisexual.

They stay in the relationship with the Tom, until something better comes a long.

Not really a big deal they say. Its so much better than being lonely.

yes i agree its a bit strange.

i heard of something like this too.

i was unable to determine if it was for emotional closeness or also physical.

I think it is because Thai girls in general are afraid to sleep alone. So a woman that has been treated badly by a man doesn't want to be sleeping with another man and she can't sleep alone. Obvious answer sleep with another woman. The other "friend" is normall lesiban and the passive heart broken girl puts up with the messy stuff so she don't have to sleep alone.

But getting back to being sexually harrassed - I was 'touched' in an intimate area by a young lady of dubious occupation walking down the street, broad daylight on lower Sukhumvit the other day and rather enjoyed it.

emm...ok

[Tilokarat]

No toptuan, sorry but it is Me' in the avatar.

[junki3korean]

i cant wait for Khon Kaen

[Heng]

As far as average non-metro girls go (though it's hard to compare to Bangkok since the latter isn't too homogenous in terms of 'type' of gal), KK girls do try harder. It's like the Chiang Mai or Chiang Rai of Issan. IMO the more attractive ones still do that shy "you make the first move" thing. Even the most 'lat lat' of the bunch just pick out a table (at a club for example) near yours, at most look at you and offer a toast every one in awhile and wait for you to make a move/make a selection of whom you're interested in in their group.

[Livinginexile]

As far as average non-metro girls go (though it's hard to compare to Bangkok since the latter isn't too homogenous in terms of 'type' of gal), KK girls do try harder. It's like the Chiang Mai or Chiang Rai of Issan. IMO the more attractive ones still do that shy "you make the first move" thing. Even the most 'lat lat' of the bunch just pick out a table (at a club for example) near yours, at most look at you and offer a toast every one in awhile and wait for you to make a move/make a selection of whom you're interested in in their group.

Heng, thanx for that insight

It's great to get a local's perspective on what's REALLY going on.

Cheers

[Heng]

YMMV. *cue porn music... bom-chika-bom-bom-chik-chik-bom-chika-bom-bom...*

[henryalleman]

Once I went to a very busy barbershop in some shoppingcenter, the katoey barber asked me if i didn't like to have a boyfriend. I answered with a loud voice: sorry darling, I have a mia luang, a mia noi and a girlfriend I don't like to have more problems. All the clients and staff where roling over the floor laughing while the boy got a red face.

But whats's strike me the most is that when I'm alone not any staff of restaurant, banks or shops is flirting with me, but when I'm with my wife they do it all the time.

BTW my wife and me are senior citizens.

[F1fanatic]

Once I went to a very busy barbershop in some shoppingcenter, the katoey barber asked me if i didn't like to have a boyfriend. I answered with a loud voice: sorry darling, I have a mia luang, a mia noi and a girlfriend I don't like to have more problems. All the clients and staff where roling over the floor laughing while the boy got a red face.

But whats's strike me the most is that when I'm alone not any staff of restaurant, banks or shops is flirting with me, but when I'm with my wife they do it all the time.

BTW my wife and me are senior citizens.

Simple, when you're in a respectable environment when they're not looking for a farang - they can only flirt when they know they're not about to be taken up on the offer!

[john b good]

Very often when I'm out alone in Khon Kaen city I get sexually harrassed by women AND men!

I'm not joking - this morning at a new barbers, he asked if I was alone and if I was interested in "gatoeys". I told him I wasn't and then he started rubbing my leg saying "unzip and give me a look".

Yesterday, at a new coffee bar, the waitress rubbed my thigh and gave me her telephone number.

In public places I can't often get any peace - there's always some girls(usually university)hassling me, and occasionally "gatoeys", who for some reason think all "farang" like them.

This morning, I just told him to stop, and that he was sick, and walked out.

Yesterday afternoon, I just smiled and ignored her.

Strangely, when I'm in a touristy bar area, the bargirls never bother me.

Does this happen to you?

How do you handle it?

I would suggest that you just go with the flow.

If they want to fondle your nuts just sit back and enjoy.

Don't know where you come from (and not interested in learning) but you ain't gonna get this attention back home.

Katoeys (as in hair dressers) I can pass up, but the waitress in the coffee shop might be another matter

[mc2]

just close your eyes and think of england

Edited April 7, 2009 by mc2

[Sabum]

As far as average non-metro girls go (though it's hard to compare to Bangkok since the latter isn't too homogenous in terms of 'type' of gal), KK girls do try harder. It's like the Chiang Mai or Chiang Rai of Issan. IMO the more attractive ones still do that shy "you make the first move" thing. Even the most 'lat lat' of the bunch just pick out a table (at a club for example) near yours, at most look at you and offer a toast every one in awhile and wait for you to make a move/make a selection of whom you're interested in in their group.

I thought this was common knowledge? If a girl at a Thai disco "cheers" me that's a straight up invitation to sex no?!?! Well it always landed up that way for me.... girls that will ignore me all night but be right beside me will finally (with enough alcohol) nearer the end of the night turn to me and cheers me, that is when I know "I'm in". It's an extremely aggressive move as far as I'm concerned (coming from a regular thai girl), they really want the man to make the first move... too bad I'm so shy, I just wait until the cheers thingy.

[Heng]

Well, I wouldn't say always. There are plenty of friendly plain jane 'toasters' who offer toasts left and right without expecting to be involved in some kind of train later on in the evening.

I like the 'cheers' thing myself, but not because I'm shy. It helps in the sorting procedure. Anyhoo, my point was that KK girls (and certainly not all) IMO tend to try harder and are a tad more aggressive. Part of it is the 'subculture to upgrade one's life at all cost' thing, similar to many groups of northern gals in Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai.

Edited April 8, 2009 by Heng

[a2396]

quote]

I had no idea there were that many lesbians in all of Thailand, let alone KK!!!

That IS you in your avatar, right?

I guess you are kidding.

But Thailand is quite unique when it comes to relationships between women.

I have a few female friends that after they got their heart broken, ended up in relationships with Toms.

Kind of strange really, because they still claim that they are straight, and not even bisexual.

They stay in the relationship with the Tom, until something better comes a long.

Not really a big deal they say. Its so much better than being lonely.

I think there is quite a lot of this. As you say, they will deny they are bi-sexual, etc and rarely, if ever, will reveal the true nature of their relationships. Almost impossible to establish an honest relationship with someone like this.The cards are never on the table.

[kaorop]

I think there is quite a lot of this. As you say, they will deny they are bi-sexual, etc and rarely, if ever, will reveal the true nature of their relationships. Almost impossible to establish an honest relationship with someone like this.The cards are never on the table.

Yes I agree

[a2396]

Well, I wouldn't say always. There are plenty of friendly plain jane 'toasters' who offer toasts left and right without expecting to be involved in some kind of train later on in the evening.

I like the 'cheers' thing myself, but not because I'm shy. It helps in the sorting procedure. Anyhoo, my point was that KK girls (and certainly not all) IMO tend to try harder and are a tad more aggressive. Part of it is the 'subculture to upgrade one's life at all cost' thing, similar to many groups of northern gals in Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai.

I don't know which bars & parlors you are frequenting, but I have seen no such aggressive behaviour from the "normal" local women here. They generally are not interested in talking to foreigners & their English skills are next to zero. Tourist trade girls & other "camp followers" of course a different story.

[Heng]

Well, I wouldn't say always. There are plenty of friendly plain jane 'toasters' who offer toasts left and right without expecting to be involved in some kind of train later on in the evening.

I like the 'cheers' thing myself, but not because I'm shy. It helps in the sorting procedure. Anyhoo, my point was that KK girls (and certainly not all) IMO tend to try harder and are a tad more aggressive. Part of it is the 'subculture to upgrade one's life at all cost' thing, similar to many groups of northern gals in Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai.

I don't know which bars & parlors you are frequenting, but I have seen no such aggressive behaviour from the "normal" local women here. They generally are not interested in talking to foreigners & their English skills are next to zero. Tourist trade girls & other "camp followers" of course a different story.

Like I said, just a 'bit' more aggresive.

And as always, I'm using my own point of view, so I am not referring to foreigners, and all communication mentioned is in Thai.

[Tyree D.]

When ever approached by a seller, flirter, questioner I would say, "Pai hai pon". According to Lonely Planet Dictionary, that means "Piss off". Then I would add a subject like katoey, sopairnee, or stupid. They would then lose their face.