Thais Touching Your Kids

[loong]

And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

Guesthouse, I really wonder if you live in Thailand? If you are here, just what part of Thailand do you live in? Thais regularly touch, hold, pick up the children of other Thasi that they do not know. Not saying that they all do it, but it is not even close to being unusual. I am simply stunned that in all your supposed time here you could say that. I would be interested if other people living here for some time would comment on whether Guesthouse's observation is accurate or not.

It seems old chap that you have your answer, and that from what is being said in the threads above, there are a number other members who agree with the observation I've made in "all my supposed time here".... stunning as that might be.

And a number of posters have said the opposite. From the posts it does seem that Rural Thais are likely to touch and fuss over stranger's children whereas City Thais don't. So maybe it is a class thing.

[GuestHouse]

And a number of posters have said the opposite. From the posts it does seem that Rural Thais are likely to touch and fuss over stranger's children whereas City Thais don't. So maybe it is a class thing.

Maybe, maybe not, but other posters have confirmed what I have said.... Qualtrough has his answer, perhaps not the answer he wanted but an answer all the same.

[loong]

It seems old chap that you have your answer, and that from what is being said in the threads above, there are a number other members who agree with the observation I've made in "all my supposed time here".... stunning as that might be.

And a number of posters have said the opposite. From the posts it does seem that Rural Thais are likely to touch and fuss over stranger's children whereas City Thais don't. So maybe it is a class thing.

Maybe, maybe not, but other posters have confirmed what I have said.... Qualtrough has his answer, perhaps not the answer he wanted but an answer all the same.

Guesthouse - are you naturally argumentative? I am prepared to accept that although I see Thais touching and fussing over strangers children, that it is obviously not a Nationwide thing as so many posters do not see the same as me.

I'm not quite sure what you viewpoint is is your child a luk kreung? is your wife Thai? Is your daughter a Child of a Thai?

In your earlier post,

And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

I see it all the time, but you dispute this - you go on to say-

I ran around the counter to find a Thai woman with a pair of scissors cutting a chunk out of our daughter's hair - I went F@cking berserk - took the scissors off her and cut a chunk of hair off her head that left her half bald.

So at first hand you have experienced a Thai woman, a stranger messing with the child of another Thai, but you state that IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

[GuestHouse]

Guesthouse - are you naturally argumentative?

Argumentative carries negative connotations - shall we say I enjoy a good debate (would that there were more 'good' debates to be had)

I'm not quite sure what you viewpoint is is your child a luk kreung? is your wife Thai? Is your daughter a Child of a Thai?

My view point is as a non Thai observer who has spent many years in Thailand, and has direct experience raising children here. Specific details regarding my children or my wife - I choose to allow them the privacy to which they are entitled and, I note (as I encourage you to note), a privacy which is supported by the ThaiVisa rules.

In your earlier post,

And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

I see it all the time, but you dispute this - you go on to say-

I ran around the counter to find a Thai woman with a pair of scissors cutting a chunk out of our daughter's hair - I went F@cking berserk - took the scissors off her and cut a chunk of hair off her head that left her half bald.

So at first hand you have experienced a Thai woman, a stranger messing with the child of another Thai, but you state that IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

As you rightly point out I have first hand experience of a Thai woman messing with the child of a stranger - The details she had, are those that you have - The child was a stranger to the woman and the child was with a foreign father.

Perhaps rather than asking me to divulge personal details of my wife and children, you ought to address the point that Qualtrough claimed to be so very Stunned at my claim and yet others have supported what I have said.

What I have said has been corroborated by other long standing TV Members - Qualtrough is easily stunned - Game Over!

Edited April 28, 2009 by GuestHouse

[anon345535]

as for thais taking other thais children out of their arms without a word being said and all the rest of it.... i'm not saying it doesn't happen but i have never witnessed it...

[Neeranam]

And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

Guesthouse, I really wonder if you live in Thailand? If you are here, just what part of Thailand do you live in? Thais regularly touch, hold, pick up the children of other Thasi that they do not know. Not saying that they all do it, but it is not even close to being unusual. I am simply stunned that in all your supposed time here you could say that. I would be interested if other people living here for some time would comment on whether Guesthouse's observation is accurate or not.

It seems old chap that you have your answer, and that from what is being said in the threads above, there are a number other members who agree with the observation I've made in "all my supposed time here".... stunning as that might be.

And a number of posters have said the opposite. From the posts it does seem that Rural Thais are likely to touch and fuss over stranger's children whereas City Thais don't. So maybe it is a class thing.

I've lived here for some time and am SURE Guesthouse's observation is correct. I've lived in Bangkok, khon Kaen(both large cities) and also a little time rurally.

After reading all the comments, I believe it IS a class thing. Maybe there are ust more low-class foreigners living out of the city?

Regarding the OP, I said nothing and remained expressionless but gave the guy a look that was just long enough to let him know my concern.

As a father, each such situation must be analysed separately.

This evening, at the local lake, there was a pit-bull off it's lead near some kids,including mine.

I went up to the guy and didn't smile, told him to put the animal on the lead and to get the hel_l out of there and nearly got a round of applause from the crowd. When dangerous idiots are around, culture etc don't come into the equation.

[Heng]

...and nearly got a round of applause from the crowd.

Is that what it's called when you kind of *imagine* hearing it?

[Tyke]

I most certainly don't get upset.

I live in Thailand, where -thank god- common human interaction is still allowed.

That said, no situation is alike, and while I appreciate some kinds words meant in a kind way, there are also people that I prefer to keep my daughter away from. And they're not necessarily all Thai either.

The voice of reason

Totally agree

I have two half Thai children a boy and a girl they both are singled out [in a nice way] for the colour of there skin.

I don't believe this incident with the Thai man is anything to do with gender but all to do with the Thai's rather shallow infatuation with beauty.

And for the poster who wrote;

'Nearly every farang (obviously exceptions) knows not to even so much as look at prebusecent girls, FOR THE VERY reason that they don't want to alarm the parent'

I find this very sad , to me looking at happy young children is like viewing some breath taking countryside or snorkelling in a coral reef, it's a joy and there is nothing sordid about it.

I'd agree that approaching an unaccompanied child is a completer NO and I teach my kids not to talk to or go anywhere with strangers

Fully agree with both posts - in the UK, parents are so obsessed with paedophiles that they turn their kids into overprotected mollicoddled bundles of paranoia, incapable of being independent - and it will stretch into their later lives. Never happened when i was a kid - used to get up to all kinds of fantastic mischief out with my mates - Ok there were paedophiles around, especially flashers, but we used to take it all in our stride and laugh it off. In Thailand, i often smile at kids and maybe even hold Thai babies in their mother's arms - they are great kids - nothing wrong with that - the mother's don't mind at all - but i wouldn't do that to a kid without the parent being there to approve.

[Heng]

After a friendly head pat on cute toddlers, I like to top it off with a friendly fondle of their cute 'oh so quickly back in shape' mothers. It's okay as long as it's just a slight caress of their arms, exposed back, or midriff.

Edited April 29, 2009 by Heng

[imaneggspurt]

what really annoys me is when i am holding my daughter (nearly 2) and a thai women will just try and take her out of my arms without saying anything to me. they all get a nice loud "fuc_k off" just to make sure there is no misunderstanding!!

Nice,.lets all try that then,

[phutoie2]

There are two Luk Kruengs or 'Farang Babies' as my other half says in our Soi and are quite easily the worst behaved kids in the Moo.

Their hippy Brit father ( a cross between Brian May (Queen) and Ken Dodd) visits about twice a year; mainly to hand over another big bundle of Baht for them all. He is always good for a quote -'I been gone 6 months and come back and everyone in the house - except me is speaking Thai!!'

If they ring my Gate bell one more time this week, I will being doing more than touching the little horrors,

Not long to go & holidays over and they will be off back to their fancy international school.

Yours on a very wet morning.

V. Meldrew

[imaneggspurt]

Thais probably have a reason to 'wai' and not shake hands. Touch is very personal. If they do not like to shake hands with each other, you can only imagine where these hands have been before touching your daughter. Maybe up there noses, wiping their backsides, who knows. I certainly wouldn't like it.

Actually its because they wash their ass with their hand and dont want to "dirty" you ,have you seen the correct way to hand you something, the "dirty hand holds the wrist whilst the clean one hands you the change/goods,.....

[Tyke]

I have no problem with it nor does my daughter however neither one of my daughters have been approached by men just the women. What did annoy me though was when a Thai woman told my wife I should have married a dark skinned Thai because the babies were more beautiful.

Tell your wife if it happened again to tell her: "so why did it fail in your case?"

Edited April 29, 2009 by Tyke

[cgit6]

I have no problem with it nor does my daughter however neither one of my daughters have been approached by men just the women. What did annoy me though was when a Thai woman told my wife I should have married a dark skinned Thai because the babies were more beautiful.

Tell your wife if it happened again to tell her: "so why did it fail in your case?"

Perfect.

[cgit6]

Parenthood is not hard to achieve. Having kids is not noble in a world of 6+ billion people and YOUR kids are not special. Aside: Now adopting and caring for something that is not your direct genetic relation: that is a bit more admirable to my mind.

Overconcern for your gene pool to the point of even considering violent response? yeah, not so much.

Big fuc_king deal- some guy touched your daughter's arm.... ooo big crime...ooo big you is upset. I love all the worries: germs to pedophilia. Germs: kids need germs to build immunoresponse. Pedophilia: yeah, touching that arm is like a "gateway body part";

Fuc_king go on...

[Neeranam]

There are two Luk Kruengs or 'Farang Babies' as my other half says in our Soi and are quite easily the worst behaved kids in the Moo.

Their hippy Brit father ( a cross between Brian May (Queen) and Ken Dodd) visits about twice a year; mainly to hand over another big bundle of Baht for them all. He is always good for a quote -'I been gone 6 months and come back and everyone in the house - except me is speaking Thai!!'

If they ring my Gate bell one more time this week, I will being doing more than touching the little horrors,

Not long to go & holidays over and they will be off back to their fancy international school.

Yours on a very wet morning.

V. Meldrew

[imaneggspurt]

Not gonna post any details but I had a supposed "friend" keep on making stupid little comments about my daughter of 2 years 9 months such as "oh if I was 30 years younger" then he was smelling her hair but to top it all she was playing in the ice box & he walked behind her & simulated sex from behind. Needless to say the guy is no longer my friend & I keep my daughter away from him.

Which hospital is he in, and if not why not, <deleted>,. ,you are well shot of him,

[Kan Win]

Thais Touching Your Kids, What do/would you do/say?

Here's the situation - my elder daughter(7) is walking out from her new school with me when a Thai man(parent) comes over and touches her arm saying, "look kreung, suey" or "beautiful half-caste".

What would you do or say?

I just read this post of yours and replied to the poll "Other" as it was misleading and sorry to say I have not trolled (wander around searching) eight pages as it was said "Kids" meaning to me Girls and/or Boys.

Point being, my UK daughter, when she was there with me in Saudi many a year ago had all the Saudi ladies coming up to us and touching her. I never had any problems with that, then in 1980.

My second wife (Khun Thai) daughter and son where always touched, carried etc. in Bahrain and Thailand. No harm has ever come to them.

You overly protective Westerners know nothing about Thai culture and arrived yesterday - right?

Correct "PeaceBlondie" they know nothing

I have been here in Thailand for near on 20 years with PR to boot, have never seen nor heard of anyone being angry about touching thier "Kids".

Had me Grandson over last summer from UK, blonde, blue eyes just over 3 years old, but a tall boy for his age and all the Thais kept on touching him and he loved being the centre of the attraction.

When I see Thai "Kids" they all simle at me, I even shake thier hand as well, Western "Kids" are yes "overly protective" and stay close to thier own with grim faces

Good job I left the UK 30 years ago

Yours truly,

Kan Win

[easy_jim]

And a number of posters have said the opposite. From the posts it does seem that Rural Thais are likely to touch and fuss over stranger's children whereas City Thais don't. So maybe it is a class thing.

Maybe, maybe not, but other posters have confirmed what I have said.... Qualtrough has his answer, perhaps not the answer he wanted but an answer all the same.

Well I'm going to add myself to the list of posters who have seen Thais touch and fuss over other Thais children. It is common among rural Thais, they have this strange tendancy to be friendly.

You are trying to argue that just because you have never seen it, it does not happen. Many other posters have stated they have seen it happen but you choose to ignore those posters but to acknowledge the posters that agree with you. The problem is you are trying to justify a negative, i.e. I haven't seen it and some other people haven't seen it so it must never happen. The thing is all the people who are saying they positively have seen it disprove your theroy, while all the people who say they haven't seen it don't actually prove anything.

[loong]

Kan win,

A sensible non-paranoid post.

Some of the people here have a problem with strangers touching their children. A few, maybe for hygiene reasons - well that's ok I suppose but a little over the top.

I suspect that most who don't like it are concerned about Kiddie fiddlers. Sure a pervert is going to prey on your child in full view of you - I'm sure that THAT happens.

All of you that have posted that you don't like strangers touching your children in a harmless non sexual way have to ask your selves WHY? What is the problem? What don't you like about it?

Somebody touches your child's arm and you have a problem?

You know, my stepdaughter enjoys attention - a lot of kids do, but she shies away from people who get too close and give out bad vibes ( OK usually drunks). She will not allow a stranger near her unless she has the security of close contact with me or her mother. She trusts us to protect her. If we are in Lotus and she is halfway down the aisle in front of us, as soon as a stranger pays attention to her, she will come straight back to us.

A lot of people here have focused on strangers - I find that rather ironic. At least 70% and maybe as many as 90% of sexually abused children are abused by relatives or family friends. If you add in violence and neglect against children the figures are higher because most violence and nearly all neglect is by close family members. Your child is more likely to be abused by somebody that you know and trust.

So you people that jump on strangers for thinking your child is cute, maybe you should be looking a bit closer at your child's uncle, cousin or babysitter. But that's unthinkable isn't it!

Somebody touches your child's arm in a busy shopping centre in full view of you - oh yes, must be a child molester. Use your brains people.

[bojo]

Loong, I added my thoughts I think on the first page at the the beginning of this thread and have just picked up on it again.

You couldn't have put it any better. Your last but one paragraph in my opinion sums this topic up, never mind the fun loving strangers who mean well......

regards Bojo

[macduff]

Well were in the UK and our boy who's nearly two year old gets touched every time we go out by women pinching his chubby cheeks smiling and saying how beautiful he is. We also gets remarks from guys saying how cute he is. I cant see anything wrong with people who just want to be friendly. I've also noticed when my child smiles at people first without them smiling on approach they soon realise my child is looking at them and they smile back every time. We went to Thai last year when he was 8 month old and at passport control a Thai women asked if she could hold him and we agreed as she stood in front of us in the queue.She spoke to him in English and said how she would like him to live with her and stay at her condo in bangkok.All i can say about the subject is it's the parents responsibility to accept or reject anybody wanting to touch or hold there child,as long it's done in a controlled environment and nobody can just run off with your child

[loong]

And a number of posters have said the opposite. From the posts it does seem that Rural Thais are likely to touch and fuss over stranger's children whereas City Thais don't. So maybe it is a class thing.

Maybe, maybe not, but other posters have confirmed what I have said.... Qualtrough has his answer, perhaps not the answer he wanted but an answer all the same.

Well I'm going to add myself to the list of posters who have seen Thais touch and fuss over other Thais children. It is common among rural Thais, they have this strange tendancy to be friendly.

You are trying to argue that just because you have never seen it, it does not happen. Many other posters have stated they have seen it happen but you choose to ignore those posters but to acknowledge the posters that agree with you. The problem is you are trying to justify a negative, i.e. I haven't seen it and some other people haven't seen it so it must never happen. The thing is all the people who are saying they positively have seen it disprove your theory, while all the people who say they haven't seen it don't actually prove anything.

Easy Jim,

you're wasting your time, I think Guesthouse must have been a politician

In his own post, he stated that his child was assaulted by a Thai woman and in the same post stated

"And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN."

IF the mother of his child is Thai then he is contradicting himself, but this we will never know because he does not wish to disclose the parentage of his child. That's fair enough - up to him. He has his right to privacy

[GuestHouse]

I suspect that most who don't like it are concerned about Kiddie fiddlers. .........

A lot of people here have focused on strangers - I find that rather ironic. At least 70% and maybe as many as 90% of sexually abused children are abused by relatives or family friends. .....

Somebody touches your child's arm in a busy shopping centre in full view of you - oh yes, must be a child molester. Use your brains people.

Well done Loong, you've admitted that you 'Suspect' you know the reasoning of the people who object to strangers touching their children (that is you do not know, but you offer your suspected view). You then to on to talk about the irony of being concerned over strangers because most sex abuse is committed by relatives and friends (an Irony that depends entirely upon your own unfounded suspicions)

And you wrap it up by telling others to use their brains.

As you demonstrate yourself - you've used your brain but gone off on a tangent the path of which has been determined by your own 'suspicions'.

You could avoid all of that by allowing (and I know this is going to be difficult) parents to make their own decisions on what they want for their children based on their own reasons - not reasons you attribute to them in order for your own world view to remain intact.

'Use your brains'....... Your having a laugh!

[GuestHouse]

Well I'm going to add myself to the list of posters who have seen Thais touch and fuss over other Thais children. It is common among rural Thais, they have this strange tendancy to be friendly.

We might also observe that rural communities are very much closer than urban communities - For example as small Rural Village might not have any strangers at all.

Someone living in a small rural environment would not witness strangers messing with other people's children because there are no strangers. The same may be said of a local Urban neighborhood there might be no strangers.

you're wasting your time, I think Guesthouse must have been a politician

All of a sudden I feel the need to yawn.

Please don't get sidetracked and pay attention to constructing a well thought out argument.

Edited April 29, 2009 by GuestHouse

[Neeranam]

Kan win,

A sensible non-paranoid post.

Some of the people here have a problem with strangers touching their children. A few, maybe for hygiene reasons - well that's ok I suppose but a little over the top.

I suspect that most who don't like it are concerned about Kiddie fiddlers. Sure a pervert is going to prey on your child in full view of you - I'm sure that THAT happens.

All of you that have posted that you don't like strangers touching your children in a harmless non sexual way have to ask your selves WHY? What is the problem? What don't you like about it? Exactly why I started the thread

Somebody touches your child's arm and you have a problem? Yes, I suspect if you had kids of your own you'd understand

You know, my stepdaughter enjoys attention - a lot of kids do, but she shies away from people who get too close and give out bad vibes ( OK usually drunks). She will not allow a stranger near her unless she has the security of close contact with me or her mother. She trusts us to protect her. If we are in Lotus and she is halfway down the aisle in front of us, as soon as a stranger pays attention to her, she will come straight back to us.

A lot of people here have focused on strangers - I find that rather ironic. At least 70% and maybe as many as 90% of sexually abused children are abused by relatives or family friends. If you add in violence and neglect against children the figures are higher because most violence and nearly all neglect is by close family members. Your child is more likely to be abused by somebody that you know and trust.

So you people that jump on strangers for thinking your child is cute, maybe you should be looking a bit closer at your child's uncle, cousin or babysitter. But that's unthinkable isn't it!

Somebody touches your child's arm in a busy shopping centre in full view of you - oh yes, must be a child molester. Use your brains people.This has nothing to do with child molesters

[Neeranam]

And a number of posters have said the opposite. From the posts it does seem that Rural Thais are likely to touch and fuss over stranger's children whereas City Thais don't. So maybe it is a class thing.

Maybe, maybe not, but other posters have confirmed what I have said.... Qualtrough has his answer, perhaps not the answer he wanted but an answer all the same.

Well I'm going to add myself to the list of posters who have seen Thais touch and fuss over other Thais children. It is common among rural Thais, they have this strange tendancy to be friendly.

You are trying to argue that just because you have never seen it, it does not happen. Many other posters have stated they have seen it happen but you choose to ignore those posters but to acknowledge the posters that agree with you. The problem is you are trying to justify a negative, i.e. I haven't seen it and some other people haven't seen it so it must never happen. The thing is all the people who are saying they positively have seen it disprove your theory, while all the people who say they haven't seen it don't actually prove anything.

Easy Jim,

you're wasting your time, I think Guesthouse must have been a politician

In his own post, he stated that his child was assaulted by a Thai woman and in the same post stated

"And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN."

IF the mother of his child is Thai then he is contradicting himself, but this we will never know because he does not wish to disclose the parentage of his child. That's fair enough - up to him. He has his right to privacy

Stop being such a <deleted> - we all know he means 100% Thai kids.

[Neeranam]

Thais Touching Your Kids, What do/would you do/say?

Here's the situation - my elder daughter(7) is walking out from her new school with me when a Thai man(parent) comes over and touches her arm saying, "look kreung, suey" or "beautiful half-caste".

What would you do or say?

I just read this post of yours and replied to the poll "Other" as it was misleading and sorry to say I have not trolled (wander around searching) eight pages as it was said "Kids" meaning to me Girls and/or Boys.

Point being, my UK daughter, when she was there with me in Saudi many a year ago had all the Saudi ladies coming up to us and touching her. I never had any problems with that, then in 1980.

My second wife (Khun Thai) daughter and son where always touched, carried etc. in Bahrain and Thailand. No harm has ever come to them.

You overly protective Westerners know nothing about Thai culture and arrived yesterday - right?

Correct "PeaceBlondie" they know nothing

I have been here in Thailand for near on 20 years with PR to boot, have never seen nor heard of anyone being angry about touching thier "Kids".

Is it just me or does anyone else find that very hard to believe?

Had me Grandson over last summer from UK, blonde, blue eyes just over 3 years old, but a tall boy for his age and all the Thais kept on touching him and he loved being the centre of the attraction.

When I see Thai "Kids" they all simle at me, I even shake thier hand as well, Western "Kids" are yes "overly protective" and stay close to thier own with grim faces

Good job I left the UK 30 years ago

Yours truly,

Kan Win

[jts-khorat]

And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

I've lived here for some time and am SURE Guesthouse's observation is correct. I've lived in Bangkok, khon Kaen(both large cities) and also a little time rurally.

After reading all the comments, I believe it IS a class thing. Maybe there are ust more low-class foreigners living out of the city?

How can the observation of Guesthouse be correct who NEVER witnessed such behavior (besides a very violent act against his child) while you contradict him in the same sentence and believe that rural Thais do indeed communicate with stranger's children. You seem to be a little confused.

Guesthouse does not divulge in which sense his children might be different from yours (surely his right to keep his privacy), unluckily this also totally negates his argument. He stated that he himself does not live in the city but lives in a small moo ban (which I take to mean semi-rural), so obviously there is a different reason why his kids are shunned even by (sane) rural Thais.

[GuestHouse]

The fallacy of your argument JTS is that it is dependent upon on the observation I have made being limited to interactions with my own children and/or within the community I am currently living in.

Of course you might be arguing that I am unaware of what goes on around me beyond my garden gate - That would be a remarkable claim.

We've had the argument that I live within some middle class, educated, wealthy bubble - that didn't hold water either.

To make the point. One would not have to have children to make observations on how Thais interact with other people's children. One only need, eyes and ears to observe.

Edited May 1, 2009 by GuestHouse