How To Be Happy In Thailand

[Pierrot]

It seems there are two kinds of people (expat) in Thailand : people who get fined, overcharged for everything and people who enjoy a normal life.

What kinds of advise you (the lucky ones) can give to the less fortunate guys, that people will stop taking advantage of them ? And, more generally speaking, how to enjoy life in Thaliand.

[ernest1966]

smile, don't look grumpy, be over polite, but be aware, don't jump at the first thing, look around, just be 'aware' if you dont want something smile and say no thanks, don't be rude, don't go with a bg, don't give a sin sot, don't give gold

i only by pressies for the wife when its her birthday or a special holiday, she explains all the bills, shows me all the home bills (i live in HER house), give her amount of dosh for the food bills, she doesn't work and yes she is from a hair salon, so not a hi-so girl and yes we live in isaan, laid back and 1/4 price of BKK

do not live life in a bar, beleive it or thai ladies like european ladies do like a bit of love and affection!!!! if you show the girl you are not a mug then she won't treat you like one and learn the lingo, i am trying, but god its hard work, specially when you are tone deaf

[billd766]

Well for me it started back in 1993 when I was first sent here by my company.

I met a nice Thai girl and we had some fun and a good time together during the 2 months I was here.

I went away for a year and kept in loose touch with her then I came back in 1994 for 3 more months that ran into 4 years and by that time I had lived and worked away from my UK wife for some 6 years.

I was seperated in 1997, divorced in 1999 and married my Thai lady in 2000.

We have a 4 year old son and our 10th wedding anniversary comes along on Tuesday.

We are happy together and apart due to my work but she knew and accepted that as part of me.

Next month I come back home to Thailand and we will be together until one of us (probably me) dies.

I knew my first wife for about a year before we married and my current wife I knew for 7 years before we married.

I am one of the lucky ones and there are a lot more like me that read TV and occaisionally post but rarely bitch, whine, snivel or blame those rotten cheating lying theiving Thais for everything that is wrong.

We just get on with our lives and enjoy what we have with our families. :D

[patklang]

Most of what Ernest says.Also walk tall and look people in the eye but not stare.I have been here for 5.5 years and never had a problem with a thai or 1 arguement with my gf of 4 years,give and take,listen not shout and this should be the best years of your life.

cha cha

enjoy and rest that heart

[Texpat]

lower your expectations of people, processes and institutions

don't be surprised when things here aren't like home

[patklang]

Texpat

good post

[Naam]

It seems there are two kinds of people (expat) in Thailand : people who get fined, overcharged for everything and people who enjoy a normal life.

What kinds of advise you (the lucky ones) can give to the less fortunate guys, that people will stop taking advantage of them ? And, more generally speaking, how to enjoy life in Thaliand.

there is no advice for these "less fortunate ones" Pierrot. most of them are not less fortunate, they just consider themselves to be and will be in any country and any prevailing environment. i read Thaivisa since three years, being a member since 2½ years and i find the same persons over and over again who complain, bitch, writing sermons about things/incidents which others wouldn't consider worth to raise an eyebrow.

having lived in half a dozen other countries i experienced the same, and that includes my home country Germany. often futile attempts are made to hide the bitching in polls or in rather stupid questions referring mostly in a very obvious derogatory way to their host country and/or its people. it is only reasonable to assume that they display their negative attitudes when dealing with the locals who -in my [not so] humble opinion- are very well capable to sense the animosity and of course react accordingly.

[ernest1966]

I was at the begining one of those who bitched, not on TV but was very fed up at first. Mainly culture shock, the way that thai culture is etc. I have lived in Turkey and the UK and travelled a fair bit.

You have to remember as texpat says that this is a third world country - and that is not to put it down in any way, just don't expect the same ethics, standards as in a first world country, on anything, you are the one living here, you're the foreigner, it is up to you to adjust, not up to the thai people to bend to your ways.

Life is what you make it, if you hate yourself and your lot, then nothing on earth will make you happy.

Turkey and Thailand have funnily enough many similariities. One thing a turkish friend said to me about going into a shop or buying from a market "if you get scammed it is your choice" and that's it in a nutshell. It's all a personal choice. The turks will try and scam a turk as much as a foreigner, except in Turkey it is the women who get scammed by the turkish guys, for money, phones, houses, gold etc.

At the end of the day poverty is rife here and to be overcharged here by a few baht by someone who is skint to me is more honest than to have my pension f*cked over by some corporation, or by my employer in the uk or something similar.

Always ask how much, if you don't like it, IT IS UP TO YOU. Sorry for the caps. That applies to everything, every shop, every contract, every agreement. Ask questions, I am not saying Thai people are dishonest, but if you go into a deal with your eyes half open, that is your fault.

If you think something isn't covered in a contract, ask why, take along someone who can speak good english (thai) to translate. Pay them, give them a good tip and they will work for you.

[phaethon]

... and married my Thai lady in 2000.

We have a 4 year old son and our 10th wedding anniversary comes along on Tuesday..

Hate to be picky but... Isn't that your 9th anniversary?

I only mention it because, if you follow the modern guide to anniversary presents:

[b]Ann.       Traditional               Modern[/b]
9th	  Pottery, China	    Leather goods
10th	  Tin, Aluminium	    Diamond jewellery

That makes the 10th a good deal more expensive than the 9th (which, by the sound of it, suggests there is rather more fun to be had... )

Anyway, congratulations

[Jingthing]

Check your critical thinking on arrival at BKK. That would do it.

[Oberkommando]

At the end of the day poverty is rife here and to be overcharged here by a few baht by someone who is skint to me is more honest than to have my pension f*cked over by some corporation, or by my employer in the uk or something similar.

Nonsense. Dishonesty is dishonesty.

[raylo]

I was at the begining one of those who bitched, not on TV but was very fed up at first. Mainly culture shock, the way that thai culture is etc. I have lived in Turkey and the UK and travelled a fair bit.

You have to remember as texpat says that this is a third world country - and that is not to put it down in any way, just don't expect the same ethics, standards as in a first world country, on anything, you are the one living here, you're the foreigner, it is up to you to adjust, not up to the thai people to bend to your ways.

Life is what you make it, if you hate yourself and your lot, then nothing on earth will make you happy.

Turkey and Thailand have funnily enough many similariities. One thing a turkish friend said to me about going into a shop or buying from a market "if you get scammed it is your choice" and that's it in a nutshell. It's all a personal choice. The turks will try and scam a turk as much as a foreigner, except in Turkey it is the women who get scammed by the turkish guys, for money, phones, houses, gold etc.

At the end of the day poverty is rife here and to be overcharged here by a few baht by someone who is skint to me is more honest than to have my pension f*cked over by some corporation, or by my employer in the uk or something similar.

Always ask how much, if you don't like it, IT IS UP TO YOU. Sorry for the caps. That applies to everything, every shop, every contract, every agreement. Ask questions, I am not saying Thai people are dishonest, but if you go into a deal with your eyes half open, that is your fault.

If you think something isn't covered in a contract, ask why, take along someone who can speak good english (thai) to translate. Pay them, give them a good tip and they will work for you.

Extremely well said. It is the same in every country and I think I have been ripped off more in Western countries than Asian. Mainland China tries very hard though.

One question Ernest: Was that you who personally posted both posts??

[simon43]

Make sure that your Thai partner is actually of the gender that she/he claims to be...

Simon

[ernest1966]

Extremely well said. It is the same in every country and I think I have been ripped off more in Western countries than Asian. Mainland China tries very hard though.

One question Ernest: Was that you who personally posted both posts??

Unless I have an evil twin sibling, er yes...

(looks confused)

[eek]

Hmm..well..I was one of those people who jumped in at the deep end. I had never even visited Asia, nevermind Thailand, before packing up, moving, and giving Thailand a shot. Ive been here for nearly 2 1/2 year now, and although there are some things i dont always like, in the whole im content. In saying that, ive lived in other countries and continents before, so i know a bit about acclimatising (to culture as well as climate). I came with the idea that i should just observe. Not criticise. Not compare. Just tune into the things that make me smile and make me feel good, tune out the things that make me cringe (so long as they dont go way against my own principles).

Possibly part of the downfall for some is being set in their ways. Maybe applying their thought processes and ways of doing things onto another culture, then getting frustrated when it doesnt meet expectations, or go the way they think it should.

Then again, some people just live to complain no matter where they are or what they do. Period.

[WindyCity]

lower your expectations of people, processes and institutions

don't be surprised when things here aren't like home

How low can you go???

[mhatami]

At the end of the day poverty is rife here and to be overcharged here by a few baht by someone who is skint to me is more honest than to have my pension f*cked over by some corporation, or by my employer in the uk or something similar.

Nonsense. Dishonesty is dishonesty.

I totally agree with Oberkommando “Dishonesty is dishonesty”. Always watch when dealing with Thai when any money is involved. Never pay for services or goods before the job is completed to your satisfaction. Because you can never find them again

[sanook2me]

It seems there are two kinds of people (expat) in Thailand : people who get fined, overcharged for everything and people who enjoy a normal life.

What kinds of advise you (the lucky ones) can give to the less fortunate guys, that people will stop taking advantage of them ? And, more generally speaking, how to enjoy life in Thaliand.

Been said a million times be careful when playing with BG's.

Try to meet normal working people in similar stature to yourself i.e join a gym / club / go to places with no BG's

I have a wife now but one place I go to for sports I am the only farang and you need to drive there because its on the outskirts of Bangkok there are lots of good looking girls with own cars etc who go there - i'm sure they don't eye up people to make a sting...but this is an only my assumption....

[colinscarr]

If you've noted all the advice above, tried to follow it, and STILL hate the place; remember there are any number of travel agents only to happy to sell you a one way ticket to your home country.

[Pierrot]

A few month ago a friend of mine gave me CD from a falang monk, follower of Ajahn Chan (sorry for the spelling). If you're really looking for a way to be happy, it's worth a try

[doggie888888]

It seems there are two kinds of people (expat) in Thailand : people who get fined, overcharged for everything and people who enjoy a normal life.

What kinds of advise you (the lucky ones) can give to the less fortunate guys, that people will stop taking advantage of them ? And, more generally speaking, how to enjoy life in Thaliand.

The following is from my own experience only:

Your first question regarding overcharging: If in doubt about price, check other suppliers (eg get another quote) before I commit. And keep prices in perspective: THB100 is not EURO100 or USD100, otherwise I'd be fretting over every red note. Before I get into a farang fit over the 2 red bills handed to the police, I remind myself it's only USD6 for "speeding"

Your second question regarding enjoying life: keep an open mind; always remember the reasons why I came here in the first place and leave when the reasons no longer exist; make a genune effort to have as many Thai acquaintances/friends as possible; avoid the negative farangs; smile, smile, smile; try not to break the law!

Hope you have an enjoyable life here too!

[abdulrahman]

Respect your host Country and the Thai culture,as strange as it may be to you.

Make clear that you deserve the same.

Remember always the exchange rates(don't haggle for 2 cents).

Tell,politely,to the Farangs on TV,that the love it or leave it formula,isn't valid in the 21th century.

[denissr]

Some really great answers. It is not my home Country, I keep coming to Thailand, because it is Thailand. I enjoy being in a different culture for a visit once or twice a year. I get along fine.

[sanmiguel]

Accepte that even if you marry and raise kids here youre still only a second class citizen.

[Jingthing]

It seems there are two kinds of people (expat) in Thailand : people who get fined, overcharged for everything and people who enjoy a normal life.

There are indeed two kinds of people in the world - those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don't.

[Dakhar]

A good woman, in ALL aspects always makes life better....

but in any place in the world, that is hard to find.

[Boater]

Make sure that your Thai partner is actually of the gender that she/he claims to be...

Simon

is this from personal experince simon

[Jungian]

I live my life here much in the same manner I did in the USA, my salary is an equivalent in line with the cost of living as it was in the USA. I get up everyday take my daughter to school go to work.... you get the picture. I think the problem is that people come here expecting life to be much different when in fact it is not. Sure the culture, social habits and people are a little different but that could be the difference between New York City and where the heck am I Georgia. I don't think a place makes someone happy you yourself have to be happy then it doesn't matter where you are within reason.

[rhino533]

It seems there are two kinds of people (expat) in Thailand : people who get fined, overcharged for everything and people who enjoy a normal life.

What kinds of advise you (the lucky ones) can give to the less fortunate guys, that people will stop taking advantage of them ? And, more generally speaking, how to enjoy life in Thaliand.

Well I have lived in Thailand 10years now. About half the time in Bangkok. For the first few years I really enjoyed my life. Then I found myself going out all the time spending tons of money. Feeling badly about money I've spent on nothing. (Had enough money to live fine) Dating the wrong women. It started taking a toll. I started to hate life here. Finally I found a perfect women. (not a bar girl or working girl) She owned 2 big internet and gaming cafes in Nontaburi. I actually met her while I was at her cafe. We lived together for a while in Bangkok, life was good and we opened another cafe together then we both started hating life in Bangkok. It got back to the same old ways. She was from Rayong and so we both decided to move to Rayong and that made the biggest difference of my life in Thailand. I have been so much more happy since I left Bangkok. I've stopped spending money stupidly (drinking etc) I built a house and this totally changed my life. I have been happily married for 4 years and we have sold all our businesses in Bangkok and reopened them in Rayong. This was the restart I needed otherwise I probably would of left this country a long time ago. Things I would recommend that will make your life happier from experience here is:

1. Don't have long Relationships with working/bar girls. 95% of the time it works out badly and the break up will be a horror in your life.

2. Date a girl thats not in the bar business your life will be 10000 times happier. Educated and has her own money is important otherwise after a while you won't enjoy life with her much.

3. If you can learn Thai, you life will totally change here.

4. Live in Bangkok a short time, I found as soon as I left Bangkok it made my life was 1000000% better and I wished I did it sooner. I know some people have to work there but there is work outside of Bangkok too.

5. If you can travel back to your country once a year do it, I'm always happier when I come back to Thailand.

6. Treat Thais with respect even if they don't respect you. If you smile and are friendly they usually will be the same back to you. Some things you just have to put up with when it comes to Thai people and if you can put up with it you will have a happier life here. If you let it bother you, you will have a stressed life and start to hate it here.

7. Get a car. You will be shocked at how different life will be.

8. For me, I stopped going to bars, I use to enjoy it but since I stopped going I have been much more happy.

9. As far as getting over charged, I still do. I get my wife to buy things sometimes I don't even show my face. Alot of times price goes up when they see me. So get a good thai women the over charging will stop.

10. Learn the culture and local ways. You will understand Thais and be much happier.

11. If you live in Bangkok try and get out of the city as much as you can, it will help.

I have to say I'm a really happy Expat in Thailand but wasen't always like that. Took sometime (years!) to learn what to do and not to do here. Hope this helps a bit. Cheers

[babuhavas]

never visit a tailor shop,or jewellery factory with tuk tuk driver