How To Choose A Thai Wife :-)

[DonTron]

Choosing a Thai wife….

A very rich farang man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three lovely ladies, so he decides to give each woman a present of 100,000 Baht and watches to see what they would do with the money.

The first lady does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup, nails; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second lady goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer and mobile phone. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third lady invests the money in Pattayas real estate market. She buys a condo, sells it and earns 200,000 Baht more than she paid. She gives him back all 300,000 Baht because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was very impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each lady had done with the money he'd given her.

Finally he did what all men would do.... and married the one with the biggest tits!

Cause that’s what us men do.

Today there is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population in Pattaya, with perky boobs and huge erections - and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

[pattaya_girl]

What does the word ' Alzheimer's' mean ? i use to know but i forgot

[male]

Heard that joke several times, but with European/American wife and Euros/Dollars...

[tonybroster]

The law of averages is one in seven.

That means you may have to be strong enough to cultivate 7 seperate relationships, & absorb a lot of BS.

Downside to this is it may involve possibly buying 7 houses, seven Toyotas- 7 phones scooters etc but even if you were really unlucky with the first six girls the law of averages says the last girl would be a diamond & we look after our diamonds dont we.

so keep the faith brother & smile when your Platinum is being bent out of shape, your super loving gal is here somewhere, just keep smiling & hoping, ha ha haaaaaaaaa.

Bros

[Meg_2003]

Who am i...

[cognos]

Choosing a Thai wife….

A very rich farang man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three lovely ladies, so he decides to give each woman a present of 100,000 Baht and watches to see what they would do with the money.

The first lady does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup, nails; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second lady goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer and mobile phone. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third lady invests the money in Pattayas real estate market. She buys a condo, sells it and earns 200,000 Baht more than she paid. She gives him back all 300,000 Baht because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was very impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each lady had done with the money he'd given her.

Finally he did what all men would do.... and married the one with the biggest tits!

Cause that's what us men do.

Today there is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population in Pattaya, with perky boobs and huge erections - and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

I never went after the big-titted ones.The following experience cured me forever of large breasted women.In grade 3 my pencil fell on the floor and I went to my knees to pick it up.The teacher was hovering over another student and I was right at her feet.I unfortunately looked up,and saw what gravity does.She had a loose dress on,and I unfortunately looked up and saw that her "breasts" were like 2 long tubes that reached down almost to her waist.I almost threw up as I looked up.Early on most guys learned that more than a mouthfull or handfull is a waste.Note that most delectible Thai females have smallish shapely breasts(like delicious mangos) and muscular legs,not huge breasts and skinny legs,which most men covet.Covet on.

[IanForbes]

Like others here, I've heard the same joke using various nationalities. It is funny because it is basically true about the male psyche. Men usually go for looks first and brains second.

The REAL advice in picking an ideal Thai wife would be to FIRST learn to speak the Thai language fluently. Then, don't advertise it. You learn a WHOLE LOT by appearing dumb and listening carefully.

[philliphn]

The perfect Thai wife is an orphan. Who has no brothers or sisters.

[chuckd]

The perfect Thai wife is an orphan. Who has no brothers or sisters.

.....and is a deaf mute nymphomaniac that owns a liquor store.

[teacup]

Seriously, if you guy are this old and still don't know how to choose your life partner or what to look for in a good partner in general,...thai or not

then it's quite pathetic....really

or you guys were born with totally zero degree of common sense gene, or with no chance whatsoever to develop into one

Don't mean to insult anyone, but seriously.....Grow up....GET REAL or stay on the sideline until you all have grown up!!!

[skippybangkok]

Have i posted my Alzheimer's jok yet ?

[IanForbes]

Seriously, if you guy are this old and still don't know how to choose your life partner or what to look for in a good partner in general,...thai or not

then it's quite pathetic....really

or you guys were born with totally zero degree of common sense gene, or with no chance whatsoever to develop into one

Don't mean to insult anyone, but seriously.....Grow up....GET REAL or stay on the sideline until you all have grown up!!!

And you are obviously young enough to think you know everything. Until life throws you some curve balls you don't really know who you are or what you are made of. You can plan all you want and have a master's degree in common sense, but it won't do you a particle of good when your luck runs bad.

The thread posted was just a common joke that has an element of truth... as all good humour has. And, the heart doesn't really play any favourites. It deals with men and women equally. I see bad choices made by both sexes. Very often the person you are most attracted to is also the person you could never live with for a long time. And, some people were just never meant to have a permanent relationship at all.

[samuibeachcomber]

Seriously, if you guy are this old and still don't know how to choose your life partner or what to look for in a good partner in general,...thai or not

then it's quite pathetic....really

or you guys were born with totally zero degree of common sense gene, or with no chance whatsoever to develop into one

Don't mean to insult anyone, but seriously.....Grow up....GET REAL or stay on the sideline until you all have grown up!!!

but teacup this is the male species i would have thought you would know that by now

and most men just want sex and lots of it,also a hassle free life,its the latter thats so hard to find.

Edited April 28, 2009 by samuibeachcomber

[Meg_2003]

Seriously, if you guy are this old and still don't know how to choose your life partner or what to look for in a good partner in general,...thai or not

then it's quite pathetic....really

or you guys were born with totally zero degree of common sense gene, or with no chance whatsoever to develop into one

Don't mean to insult anyone, but seriously.....Grow up....GET REAL or stay on the sideline until you all have grown up!!!

Seems like you took this whole thread very seriously.

I thought it was all supposed to be just a lil bit of joking around.

[thaibeachlovers]

Seriously, if you guy are this old and still don't know how to choose your life partner or what to look for in a good partner in general,...thai or not

then it's quite pathetic....really

or you guys were born with totally zero degree of common sense gene, or with no chance whatsoever to develop into one

Don't mean to insult anyone, but seriously.....Grow up....GET REAL or stay on the sideline until you all have grown up!!!

Are you for real?

It's a joke!

[thaibeachlovers]

Choosing a Thai wife….

A very rich farang man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three lovely ladies, so he decides to give each woman a present of 100,000 Baht and watches to see what they would do with the money.

The first lady does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup, nails; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second lady goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer and mobile phone. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third lady invests the money in Pattayas real estate market. She buys a condo, sells it and earns 200,000 Baht more than she paid. She gives him back all 300,000 Baht because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was very impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each lady had done with the money he'd given her.

Finally he did what all men would do.... and married the one with the biggest tits!

Cause that's what us men do.

Today there is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population in Pattaya, with perky boobs and huge erections - and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

I never went after the big-titted ones.The following experience cured me forever of large breasted women.In grade 3 my pencil fell on the floor and I went to my knees to pick it up.The teacher was hovering over another student and I was right at her feet.I unfortunately looked up,and saw what gravity does.She had a loose dress on,and I unfortunately looked up and saw that her "breasts" were like 2 long tubes that reached down almost to her waist.I almost threw up as I looked up.Early on most guys learned that more than a mouthfull or handfull is a waste.Note that most delectible Thai females have smallish shapely breasts(like delicious mangos) and muscular legs,not huge breasts and skinny legs,which most men covet.Covet on.

cognos, you and me both. I only go for those with a BSM.

[patklang]

Think Teacup is seriously disturbed

[Chang_paarp]

Seriously, if you guy are this old and still don't know how to choose your life partner or what to look for in a good partner in general,...thai or not

then it's quite pathetic....really

or you guys were born with totally zero degree of common sense gene, or with no chance whatsoever to develop into one

Don't mean to insult anyone, but seriously.....Grow up....GET REAL or stay on the sideline until you all have grown up!!!

What has marriage got to do with a life partner? It is a phase some of us go through.

This was a joke about marriage.

[soundman]

.....and is a deaf mute nymphomaniac that owns a liquor store.

[chickenslegs]

The perfect Thai wife is an orphan. Who has no brothers or sisters.

.....and is a deaf mute nymphomaniac that owns a liquor store.

And thinks this... [--------------------------------------------------------------------]

is 8 inches

[coxhoedave]

One day, long ago there lived a man who's wife didn't moan or bitch at him...................but it was just the one day and it was a f_ckin long time ago!!!

[Naam]

The perfect Thai wife is an orphan. Who has no brothers or sisters.

.....and is a deaf mute nymphomaniac that owns a liquor store.

...and won last week's 139 million dollar jackpot which she hasn't collected yet

[JR Texas]

The perfect Thai wife is an orphan. Who has no brothers or sisters.

.....and is a deaf mute nymphomaniac that owns a liquor store.

...and won last week's 139 million dollar jackpot which she hasn't collected yet

If you are like me, you don't like fat Asian women. You like them thin. And you don't want to marry a thin Asian woman who gets fat later.

So, here is how select a thin for life wife: Tell her to expose her ankle..........then using your middle finger and thumb......see if you can bring your middle finger and thumb together around her ankle.

If you can, she has a small bone structure and will always be thin.......if not, forget about marrying her.

Huuuuuummmmm.......If we do this, I wonder what test the girls will use to select a husband?

[IanForbes]

Huuuuuummmmm.......If we do this, I wonder what test the girls will use to select a husband?

The thickness of his wallet is the only thing that counts.

[teacup]

Think Teacup is seriously disturbed

U might be ...somewhat right here

Seriously I always got a bad case of allergy and many times can go OTT with any topic relating to the farangs superiority complex syndrome with the thing they do with their money or making fun of those (many cases) thai women…bar girls or not, poor and desperate or not…

Its just sort of degrading somehow every time I hear it….joking or not…………

Just me here

WEll should have been in the Joke Forum then, if it supposes to be a JOKE

My apology if it offended anyone

Ok nevermind....I will make myself disappear now..... the same way I came in

tata

TC

[TerryTibbs]

The man thought for a long time about what each lady had done with the money he'd given her.

Finally he did what all men would do.... and married the one with the biggest tits!

Not a bad choice. But seriously you don't just jump into bed with Terry Tibbs, you take Terry Tibbs out to lunch, you wine and dine him, you give him an oil massage then he gives you 1950 if you're lucky.

[Meg_2003]