Mee And My Dad

[cmsally]

Just out of interest - does anyone know where this Lahu village is. The name was mentioned as Ban Huay Tak.

Being a Lahu Shi village, I presume somewhere NW of Chiang Mai??

[BigSnake]

Good story, I can this in living color from day to day in Thailand, just change the names, the game the same, hope most are like this story.

[jubby]

Sanook2me,

I'm constantly re-evaluating my Life, I've gone Bonkers several times and I'm only 43

I've never been in a relationship where my other half didn't find me attractive so its a strange one on me also. Maybe next time I will be so lucky

I must say though that some of the best times of my life have been sat in bamboo huts in the mountains drinking beer, so he's got something right. I wish I was in one now. you should try it some time.

Ok, maybe he's delusional but he's out there doing his thing; living his dream rather than being sat at home watching Cori or Eastenders.

Good Luck to Him and his unatractiveness

[Chaimai]

3- if you are interested in thai culture and want quite life away from a bussy Uk life why not marry 60 years old !!!!

They are a bit more wrinkly between the sheets.

[kenai]

Great documentary.

Best of luck to all of them. They all seem like good people, sure the dad has issues but he would not tell you any different. The wife was forward and honest and she is doing well for her family. Perhaps by making the documentary he was able to answer some questions and come to peace with his old man.

[Thakkar]

If things end earlier than expected, then all I can say to any couple is to take all the positives out of the relationship and ignore the few negatives. Remember the good times and forget the bad. Life is a journey of ups and downs and all you can do is the best you can. But, you DO have to go into any relationship with open eyes and expect there will be some down times. If you get two or three years of great bliss then it's been worth it. It sure beats a sorry, boring existence alone, or with someone you don't like.

Corny? Yes, but words of wisdom nonetheless.

I keep telling my kids that the math most difficult to master is that which allows us to count our blessings. Master that math, as you, Ian clearly have, and life is mostly plain sailing—or at least feels that way.

[Chaimai]

I enjoyed it. It appeared to be presented in a well-balanced way.

[Livinginexile]

Thanks for that link, great documentary.

Very sad story about a father abandoning his son and daughter for a Thai bar girl.

Very sad. I really feel for the poor boy.

[jackr]

Yeah, really good. The ole boy came across as a nice bloke and the type of person I could easily enjoy a beer with... perhaps he'll be at the CM pissup. The lad was particularly switched on and perhaps he seemed initially sour to the situation because dad was such a good dad when he was growing up, making it all the more difficult to let go. If dad had of pee'd off when he was a young un to get it on with some young floozy then it'd be a different kettle of fish, but he stuck around to bring the kids to adulthood and did his bit. No crime in seeking some bliss in the latter years... one thing which I'll defo be doing if it's not happening.

I was a bit skeptical with her at first but she seems forthright enough and I guess a guy could be happy if that's the type of arrangement he was seeking. Was a bit cringeworthy when she butted in during the father/son moment and although she should have kept her nose out, she could have done a whole lot worse after being told to eff off.

Best of luck to all involved.

[sassienie]

God bless that old git!

[sanook2me]

Sanook2me,

I'm constantly re-evaluating my Life, I've gone Bonkers several times and I'm only 43

I've never been in a relationship where my other half didn't find me attractive so its a strange one on me also. Maybe next time I will be so lucky

I must say though that some of the best times of my life have been sat in bamboo huts in the mountains drinking beer, so he's got something right. I wish I was in one now. you should try it some time.

Ok, maybe he's delusional but he's out there doing his thing; living his dream rather than being sat at home watching Cori or Eastenders.

Good Luck to Him and his unatractiveness

Mate I'm younger than you and i've gone bonkers a few times myself!

I've done the bamboo huts drinking homemade satu etc..enjoyed every minute of what i remember but then watching this old buffoon reminds why i never did the bar scene because its full of idjuts like him.

But good luck to him and his head screwed on mrs.

i liked it when he and she got shifty about her job in the bar, "she was a greeter.. " <removed> me they should work for the goverment with euphemisms like that

[IanForbes]

Thanks for that link, great documentary.

Very sad story about a father abandoning his son and daughter for a Thai bar girl.

Very sad. I really feel for the poor boy.

I don't think it's sad at all. I believe the son became much closer to his old man than before. They obviously had some frank talks about the arrangement or they wouldn't have done the movie. The father didn't abandon his son. He raised him to adulthood and showed him there is another part of life than sitting in front of a TV with a remote because life is too boring otherwise. When my wife had an affair with her lover and we decided to part company I put my personal life on hold and stuck around a few years to get the children out of school before looking for other female company. My children are now much better off for it and I'm now friends with my first wife again. But, you couldn't pay me enough to take her back.

Every case is different and we can't impose our own goals in life on others. All we can do is provide options and wisdom. In the case of this movie I believe the son became far wiser after spending time with his father and new Thai wife.

[Jingthing]

It was just a short film but I didn't feel one ounce of LOVE between the newlyweds. Some marriage. Isn't it a known fact that these bar girl marriages have a dismally low success rate? Imagine if the old guy comes into hard times and needs help from that Thai family, ba bye, swift BOOT.

Edited June 3, 2009 by Jingthing

[Chaimai]

It was just a short film but I didn't feel one ounce of LOVE between the newlyweds. Some marriage. Isn't it a known fact that these bar girl marriages have a dismally low success rate? Imagine if the old guy comes into hard times and needs help from that Thai family, ba bye, swift BOOT.

.. and the success rates are so high in farang countries ?

I think you are just an old romantic Jingthing

[sassienie]

Maybe some of you guys might like this

(Documentary : 28 mins)

“Mee and My Dad” is a documentary that follows the film maker’s journey to Thailand, where his sixty year old dad is about to marry a twenty seven year old Thai woman called Mee.

The film has been selected for the 2008 Sheffield International Documentary Festival and has also won the director, Lorne Kramer, Channel 4’s prestigious Emerging Talent award for Documentary.

http://www.vimeo.com/1314479

To be quite honest, the whole thing made me feel sick.

Gross drunken old loser hooking up with a well been around the block streetwise bar girl, who is only interested in his money.

Not a real grandsugardaddy/girlfriend relationship, just 2 people acting their parts. The guy wants some long term hot totty, although she is no Part Lane model and the girl will term up with her family and plan how quickly they can seperate this loser from his assets.

I thought the guy in his younger days had an uncanny resemblance to Charles Manson, the hippie-era cult murderer of the sixties.

The documentary sends images to the West that ex pats living in Thailand are misfits and losers who dwell around the lower side of Thai society. I found it embarrassing especially if people I know back in England were to view this documentary on TV and came to believe that this is the usual way of life for us ex pats in Thailand.

Edited June 3, 2009 by sassienie

[Jingthing]

.. and the success rates are so high in farang countries ?

Its all relative. And in western countries, getting fed to the pigs is exceptionally rare. Seriously, don't you think there should be some LOVE at least in the beginning? Why marry someone you don't love? Now I understand why SHE did ...

I don't hate the guy. I took some courage to reveal his warts on camera. I wish him the best, but I think he has married a SHARK.

Edited June 3, 2009 by Jingthing

[Mrbiggus]

I don't hate the guy. I took some courage to reveal his warts on camera. I wish him the best, but I think he has married a SHARK.

I think so too

The first thing Mee implied was if he did not have any money she was not interested in this guy, my family comes first, security is her main goal.

Then she said she did not find him attractive and then later on she said she did not want any kids with this guy whom she had just married.

This guy had built a house before they were wed. I thought it was rather difficult to purchase land if not a native i.e. one had to marry a Thai before building on land.

He also said he had been in LOS for 4 years. What had he been doing for that period of time?

[pattaya_girl]

Mmmm. well the documetary was filmed 11 months ago, so lets wait for a follow up story.

I got the feeling that the Marriage would not last somehow, and was only really focusing on the Father & Son....

[Chaimai]

The first thing Mee implied was if he did not have any money she was not interested in this guy, my family comes first, security is her main goal.

I would suggest that this the basis for most Thai/Falang (and Thai/Thai) relationships.

The obligation to look after one's family is the number one Thai commandment - any husband is expected to buy into that concept.

Edited June 3, 2009 by Chaimai

[Hssl]

Nice job she's got there - Dek serve when they met yeah right. At least you know where you stand with this girl most likely at the bottom of the mountain after being pushed!

[basjke]

Mmmm. well the documetary was filmed 11 months ago, so lets wait for a follow up story.

I got the feeling that the Marriage would not last somehow, and was only really focusing on the Father & Son....

I just wanted to ask if anyone knows if he is back in england already,alone and broke I mean.

[Spee]

He came across as a right knob! telling his wife to "<removed> off you don't understand he's my son" what a jerk off!

erh hello! she has 2 of her own sons and didn't run away from them.

On the first part, I agree with you about speaking to one's wife in that manner. That's uncalled for in any situation, especially in one where it appears that quite a bit of imbibing had already taken place.

On the second part, if I recall correctly the father had raised his children to adulthood whether in a dual parent household or after separating from his first wife. That isn't exactly running away from them. Once adults, does he "owe" them anything other than perhaps love?

Based upon the external appearance of the house, I would speculate that appx 1m ThB (+/-) had been spent, and the father did not have the appearance of oozing vast wealth. So I would find it hard to view the wife as a gold-digger or the son as trying to protect some huge potential inheritance.

For some of us, it's tough to find peace, love and happiness all in the same place. Hopefully the people in this film have found their fair share of these things and I hope the best for all parties involved. If it were me in that film, I would certainly want viewers to come away with that opinion.

[Goshawk]

I just wanted to ask if anyone knows if he is back in england already,alone and broke I mean.

good question..

but according to what appears to his/her website that i've found here

they seem to now be in the 'hilltribe homestay' tourism business...

[keo]

Maybe some of you guys might like this

(Documentary : 28 mins)

“Mee and My Dad” is a documentary that follows the film maker’s journey to Thailand, where his sixty year old dad is about to marry a twenty seven year old Thai woman called Mee.

The film has been selected for the 2008 Sheffield International Documentary Festival and has also won the director, Lorne Kramer, Channel 4’s prestigious Emerging Talent award for Documentary.

http://www.vimeo.com/1314479

To be quite honest, the whole thing made me feel sick.

Gross drunken old loser hooking up with a well been around the block streetwise bar girl, who is only interested in his money.

Not a real grandsugardaddy/girlfriend relationship, just 2 people acting their parts. The guy wants some long term hot totty, although she is no Part Lane model and the girl will term up with her family and plan how quickly they can seperate this loser from his assets.

I thought the guy in his younger days had an uncanny resemblance to Charles Manson, the hippie-era cult murderer of the sixties.

The documentary sends images to the West that ex pats living in Thailand are misfits and losers who dwell around the lower side of Thai society. I found it embarrassing especially if people I know back in England were to view this documentary on TV and came to believe that this is the usual way of life for us ex pats in Thailand.

Right on!

My dad is the same age, and I'm the same age as the son. I'm lucky, my parents are still together. But...

I'd knock seven colours of shit out my dad if he talked to me drunk like that on Loi Kroh, the night before he was about to sign his life over to some gold diggin thai bar girl - 3 years older than me.

From what I could make out, the father deserted the son when he was 16, and he basically told him he was on his own and they were just like "mates".

What a <deleted>.

That's not a father. That's a failure.

She admitted to just wanting his money.

But what do I know? I only hope the son has a better relationship with his future children.

Hopefully his house is the first to be revoked under this latest government brainwave. No way did she have enough money to build that house on her own!

Edited June 3, 2009 by sbk
offensive picture removed--sbk

[Jingthing]

I dare say many of us wouldn't come off as Mother Teresa if we were filmed for a documentary. I think it was a good film because it makes you think and react to it. Its not black and white, like life. I could care less what people back in the west think about expats here, they are going to think what they are going to think, that is out of our control.

Edited June 3, 2009 by Jingthing

[TerryTibbs]

I just wanted to ask if anyone knows if he is back in england already,alone and broke I mean.

good question..

but according to what appears to his/her website that i've found here

they seem to now be in the 'hilltribe homestay' tourism business...

Haha good find. They certainly will know about this thread now.

[Goshawk]

Haha good find. They certainly will know about this thread now.

not my intention to give them any publicity at all...

i like how it says somewhere in that site "During your tour you will be joined by Mee's English husband Ralph who settled here over 4 years ago and will be able to help in explaining points of interest"

work permit ? (sshh.. i'll operate the business from the backseat tilac, you can be the 'face' for legal reasons..)

[sassienie]

Interesting Good luck to the old man ...just few points from person who lived in thailand and in uk for more than 5 years and from an asian background:

1- Old guy instead of enjoying what reamins of his life in a quite and peaceful way, he is marrying 27. unfortunately it is the story of most old europe men who are tired of capitalist europe.

2- marrying 27 years old will not bring u a quite life instead responsiblities and disaster follows.

3- if you are interested in thai culture and want quite life away from a bussy Uk life why not marry 60 years old !!!!

I may consider this if I reach the age of 85.

Viewed their up to date website, Hilltribe Homestay.

Appears the guy has become another illegal behind the scenes real owner of a business hiding behind a Thai name.

There goes his son`s inheritance.

Edited June 3, 2009 by sassienie

[dcfc2007]

sadly for all parties i see this marriage ending very ugly, there wasnt 1 point in the film at which i seen mee and the father having a loving embrace.

[Jingthing]

Oh, please, don't beat up on this guy. Best to hope he beats the odds and has a pleasant time up in the hills, or if not, gets out of it without too much damage.