"he Is A Good Boy, He Takes Care Of His Family."

[coalminer]

Heng, in an ideal world this would happen with families especially in countries like Thailand but unfortunately thats not always the case, likewise with people becoming more affluent either by moving to the city and having a good job with a much changed social life than that offered by the village, often tend to forget their filial duties/responsibilities.

When someone of the family gets the opportunity to move away from the village to have another lifestyle in the city, he will earn more money. But that doesn't mean that he can give more money to the people n the village.

(I say "another lifestyle" because it's not always a "better lifestyle".)

In my OP, I gave the example of the gut who baught a house in the city where he works and that was the green light for all the family members to invade his house without supporting for the augmented financial duties.

The guy has much higher income than most people in the village, admitted.

And he has worked very hard to get there with his disabilities.

But the guy need also to spend a lot more money for his daily living than he would need to do in the village.

Nevertheless, he took some family members in his house to offer them the opportunity to finish their university studies and have more possibilities in their life than the limited possibilities of the village.

But other family members, who doesn't had good intentions, invaded his house under the excuse that "he should help his family" and were supported in this behavior by the mother and put so much financial strenght in ths man's life that the monthly bill's and the house could not be paid anymore.

The same goes with many fahrangs here.

The in-laws thinks that because they are fahrangs they should input more money in the family.

But many villagers doesn't have a clue that the fahrang has a lot more obligations and the "being rich" is only a complete wrong idea.

For examplle, most fahrangs have learned to put some earnings aside for a rainy day.

Something that a villager is not familiar with.

When I wanted to get a health insurance for my wife and her parents, she didn't want to spend that much money on a insurance. After all, if you take a health insurance, it means that you are counting on falling sick and Thais does not think about negative things.

My feelings on this subject are that if a member of the family can afford something then they should contribute financially, after all the more money coming into the parents the better their life, unfortunately in my case and I suspect a lot of other cases where a westerner is involved the thai family members tend to renegue thinking the rich westerner has more money, he can afford it, that of course is not always the case, although reading a lot of the posts does give the impression that we are all millionairs.

I have the impression ithat a lot of these "millonaires" are in fact posters who posted in other threads their struggling with a Thai family like someone posted here.

[473geo]

How do you guys know that the people who buy BMWs have starving and uncared for parents?

Surely there are some, but for the most part IMO it's wishful thinking. Life is full of different contests and races... and when one "loses," it's easier on the ego to assume that the winner cheated or is really suffering in (imagined) secret.

Based on the assumption that all wish to enter the race and deem the prize worthy of effort, otherwise known as a hollow victory.

Also a common method of self soothing (not saying that's what you're doing, just in general). Reset or revalue to zero or whatever negligible or sometimes negative value that which one does not have. 'Who would want to be an Olympian anyway? All that back pain to deal with later in life!' 'Beachfront living? For fisherman maybe... who knows when the next tsunami will strike?' 'Having maids and a driver is akin to promoting slavery!' etc. Also seen in those constantly saying how 'bad' life is somewhere that they no longer live.

As ever there's a logic in what you say Heng; I guess most people adjust their thinking to accommodate thoughts on the current situation........does it follow then that people who have never experienced strong family ties will contest it's important place in life for others?

[Heng]

As ever there's a logic in what you say Heng; I guess most people adjust their thinking to accommodate thoughts on the current situation........does it follow then that people who have never experienced strong family ties will contest it's important place in life for others?

Quite possibly.

[wackysleet]

473Geo

As ever there's a logic in what you say Heng; I guess most people adjust their thinking to accommodate thoughts on the current situation........does it follow then that people who have never experienced strong family ties will contest it's important place in life for others?

wackysleet

No it does not, it is their opinion based on their experience and even then it does not mean that they disagree with the principal but more along the lines that all family members should do whatever they can and pull their weight, some family members are quite content to do nothing but expect everything, that is what the post is all about.

[coalminer]

473Geo

As ever there's a logic in what you say Heng; I guess most people adjust their thinking to accommodate thoughts on the current situation........does it follow then that people who have never experienced strong family ties will contest it's important place in life for others?

wackysleet

No it does not, it is their opinion based on their experience and even then it does not mean that they disagree with the principal but more along the lines that all family members should do whatever they can and pull their weight, some family members are quite content to do nothing but expect everything, that is what the post is all about.

Thanks again, wackysleet.

Starting to feel embarrassed ....

A little correction neverthless, this thread is about the "parasites" in life but is not limited to that.

It is also about the (THAI) people of the village migrating to the city in the quest to have a "better life" and as soon as the family smells money they want a higher input from that person without thinking about the additional financial weight (lifestyle) of living in the city.

[wackysleet]

Coalminer, the arguments going on are not really valid as this is all about a persons own experience which cannot be disputed just because it differs from others experience, they only know what they know, if on the other hand they accept that there are people, in your words that are parasites then they really don't have an argument against you.

[coalminer]

Coalminer, the arguments going on are not really valid as this is all about a persons own experience which cannot be disputed just because it differs from others experience, they only know what they know, if on the other hand they accept that there are people, in your words that are parasites then they really don't have an argument against you.

Tryng to understand what you are saying:

"If all the posters who admitted that they are supporting their (Thai) families accept that there are "parasites" (which most of the posters admitted also) the they really don't have an argument against me."

Thanks for viewing this likewise.

[billd766]

Just to add my 2 bahts worth which I can afford (just) my wife has gone against the trend of moving to the city and we have moved to the countryside. We have a nearly 5 year old son and I am now retired

We built a small 1 bedroom place (25 sq/m) which she lived in while the 3 bedroom place was built. It was always going to be used for her parents when they wanted to leave Bangkok and relax for the rest of their lives.

My mother in law moved in nearly 2 years ago so she has her own place with TV etc and no skivvy work to do to look after her family in Bangkok which consists of

Father in law

Older brother, his second wife, 2 children from the first marriage and one from the second,

middle brother, his wife and 1 son

younger brother who is medically not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

We give her Mum and Dad 3,000 baht each to live on.

MY choice and that of my wife who never asked me to do so.

The family in Bangkok apart from the youngest brother all work and support each other and their Dad and they are all welcome here at any time for as long as they wish.

We have helped them out financially at times and they have helped us when things got really bad for me.

My wife has 2 x 10 rai of land. We live on one site and my wife has a shop and restaurant on the other site. If any of the family want to come and live here and build a house there is plenty of land to do so.

My wife supports her parents because they brought her up from a baby to a woman and she helps them whenever they need or ask if it is possible. She also respects them as do I though I am actually older that my MIL.

It was my wife's choice all the time in the 16 years I have known her and I support her all the way and I am more than happy to do so.

[wackysleet]

Just to add my 2 bahts worth which I can afford (just) my wife has gone against the trend of moving to the city and we have moved to the countryside. We have a nearly 5 year old son and I am now retired

We built a small 1 bedroom place (25 sq/m) which she lived in while the 3 bedroom place was built. It was always going to be used for her parents when they wanted to leave Bangkok and relax for the rest of their lives.

My mother in law moved in nearly 2 years ago so she has her own place with TV etc and no skivvy work to do to look after her family in Bangkok which consists of

Father in law

Older brother, his second wife, 2 children from the first marriage and one from the second,

middle brother, his wife and 1 son

younger brother who is medically not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

We give her Mum and Dad 3,000 baht each to live on.

MY choice and that of my wife who never asked me to do so.

The family in Bangkok apart from the youngest brother all work and support each other and their Dad and they are all welcome here at any time for as long as they wish.

We have helped them out financially at times and they have helped us when things got really bad for me.

My wife has 2 x 10 rai of land. We live on one site and my wife has a shop and restaurant on the other site. If any of the family want to come and live here and build a house there is plenty of land to do so.

My wife supports her parents because they brought her up from a baby to a woman and she helps them whenever they need or ask if it is possible. She also respects them as do I though I am actually older that my MIL.

It was my wife's choice all the time in the 16 years I have known her and I support her all the way and I am more than happy to do so.

Good for you Wolfy and quite right too but as has been said previously not all families are like yours, I was older than my MIL too but my wifes sisters are not like that unfortunately.

[billd766]

Just to add my 2 bahts worth which I can afford (just) my wife has gone against the trend of moving to the city and we have moved to the countryside. We have a nearly 5 year old son and I am now retired

We built a small 1 bedroom place (25 sq/m) which she lived in while the 3 bedroom place was built. It was always going to be used for her parents when they wanted to leave Bangkok and relax for the rest of their lives.

My mother in law moved in nearly 2 years ago so she has her own place with TV etc and no skivvy work to do to look after her family in Bangkok which consists of

Father in law

Older brother, his second wife, 2 children from the first marriage and one from the second,

middle brother, his wife and 1 son

younger brother who is medically not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

We give her Mum and Dad 3,000 baht each to live on.

MY choice and that of my wife who never asked me to do so.

The family in Bangkok apart from the youngest brother all work and support each other and their Dad and they are all welcome here at any time for as long as they wish.

We have helped them out financially at times and they have helped us when things got really bad for me.

My wife has 2 x 10 rai of land. We live on one site and my wife has a shop and restaurant on the other site. If any of the family want to come and live here and build a house there is plenty of land to do so.

My wife supports her parents because they brought her up from a baby to a woman and she helps them whenever they need or ask if it is possible. She also respects them as do I though I am actually older that my MIL.

It was my wife's choice all the time in the 16 years I have known her and I support her all the way and I am more than happy to do so.

Good for you Wolfy and quite right too but as has been said previously not all families are like yours, I was older than my MIL too but my wifes sisters are not like that unfortunately.

Guess I was just lucky.

Everybody gets lucky once in their life, twice for me as our son will be 5 in a few weeks :D

[billd766]

Just to add my 2 bahts worth which I can afford (just) my wife has gone against the trend of moving to the city and we have moved to the countryside. We have a nearly 5 year old son and I am now retired

We built a small 1 bedroom place (25 sq/m) which she lived in while the 3 bedroom place was built. It was always going to be used for her parents when they wanted to leave Bangkok and relax for the rest of their lives.

My mother in law moved in nearly 2 years ago so she has her own place with TV etc and no skivvy work to do to look after her family in Bangkok which consists of

Father in law

Older brother, his second wife, 2 children from the first marriage and one from the second,

middle brother, his wife and 1 son

younger brother who is medically not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

We give her Mum and Dad 3,000 baht each to live on.

MY choice and that of my wife who never asked me to do so.

The family in Bangkok apart from the youngest brother all work and support each other and their Dad and they are all welcome here at any time for as long as they wish.

We have helped them out financially at times and they have helped us when things got really bad for me.

My wife has 2 x 10 rai of land. We live on one site and my wife has a shop and restaurant on the other site. If any of the family want to come and live here and build a house there is plenty of land to do so.

My wife supports her parents because they brought her up from a baby to a woman and she helps them whenever they need or ask if it is possible. She also respects them as do I though I am actually older that my MIL.

It was my wife's choice all the time in the 16 years I have known her and I support her all the way and I am more than happy to do so.

Good for you Wolfy and quite right too but as has been said previously not all families are like yours, I was older than my MIL too but my wifes sisters are not like that unfortunately.

Guess I was just lucky.

Everybody gets lucky once in their life, twice for me as our son will be 5 in a few weeks :D