Ronnie Barker, One Of The Bestest.

[Zpete]

Ronnie Barker

Oh for the days before political correctness descended upon us!

This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies.

Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes).

Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read ...

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six-mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise; there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. 'Mist all c hucking frighty!!!' said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig Bart. 'Who's fust jarted?? 'asked the prandsome hince.'Blame that fugly ucker over there!!' said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!

Add a comment to keep post up front.

Edited July 20, 2009 by Zpete

[Thaddeus]

Sorry Pete, not Barker.

[samtam]

That's certainly brightened up my afternoon. Thanks!

[Zpete]

Sorry Pete, not Barker.

I am open to correction, it is a forward I received, Thad.

Google only gave credit to Barker, but then only basically a copy of this.

Please elucidate.

Edited July 20, 2009 by Zpete

[holidaybob]

I saw a guy named Roger Kitter doing this at the Royal Concert Hall in Nottingham a few years ago

[snuggzzz]

When this was Broadcast not one complaint was received by the BBC, his delivery was so quick and accomplished, everyone was just a second behind in interpreting his dialogue that made this a masterpiece of all time. I do remember listening to it, with double meaning and entendres and reverse first letters it is a 'howler'... made me roll up...!!!

[monkfish]

Classic

Mary Hinge

[Thaddeus]

Sorry Pete, not Barker.

I am open to correction, it is a forward I received, Thad.

Google only gave credit to Barker, but then only basically a copy of this.

Please elucidate.

It's another one of those spurious bits of information on the internet, where the bull gets more results than the truth.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archie_Campbell

Bister Marker was cever that nass.

Feek and ye shall sind.

[monkfish]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaUuIJpOzAA

Couldn't find the original

Edited July 20, 2009 by monkfish

[loong]

Loadsa different versions of this one.

Edited July 20, 2009 by loong

[Thaddeus]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaUuIJpOzAA

Couldn't find the original

The original what?...........

That is Ronnie Barker, one of his quite famous routines, well remembered by some who saw it the first time around ...... the subject in the OP isn't, wasn't and never will be.

Ask Pete about vegamite and it's magical properties as a mosquito repellent, and you will probably get a fairly good idea as to how much crap is swallowed wholesale because it was emailed to them, so it must be true.

Edited July 20, 2009 by Thaddeus

[Mick303]

The man was a fantastic and a way before his time

[Zpete]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaUuIJpOzAA

Couldn't find the original

The original what?...........

That is Ronnie Barker, one of his quite famous routines, well remembered by some who saw it the first time around ...... the subject in the OP isn't, wasn't and never will be.

Ask Pete about vegamite and it's magical properties as a mosquito repellent, and you will probably get a fairly good idea as to how much crap is swallowed wholesale because it was emailed to them, so it must be true.

Thad, where have I claimed vegemite or marmite to be a SKEETER REPELLANT.

A person needs to eat either product to build some resistance to skeeters, eat lots regularly, like on toast for brekky.

Get ya facts rite before passing <deleted> about others.

Going by your post, I get the feeling you have tried rubbing it on yourself.

Gave you more credit than you seem to deserve.

[Thaddeus]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaUuIJpOzAA

Couldn't find the original

The original what?...........

That is Ronnie Barker, one of his quite famous routines, well remembered by some who saw it the first time around ...... the subject in the OP isn't, wasn't and never will be.

Ask Pete about vegamite and it's magical properties as a mosquito repellent, and you will probably get a fairly good idea as to how much crap is swallowed wholesale because it was emailed to them, so it must be true.

Thad, where have I claimed vegemite or marmite to be a SKEETER REPELLANT. In the invisible part of TV, more than once if memory serves

A person needs to eat either product to build some resistance to skeeters, eat lots regularly, like on toast for brekky.

Get ya facts rite before passing <deleted> about others.

Going by your post, I get the feeling you have tried rubbing it on yourself.

Gave you more credit than you seem to deserve.

Put down the beer Pete, and step back from the keyboard.

[Mossfinn]

Pete,

The magical claims of Vegemite and it's even more superlative claims of immunity towards mossies and even Dengue Fever have been extolled by yourself on more than one occasion.

Ronnie Barker was brilliant, particularly when in cohorts with the little one, I suggest he would never come up with anything so vulgar as this and the links provided were of Freddie Starr, ( no surprise ) and others, but none were of the Big Fellah.

As for keeping it top of the page, I have rarely seen a better example for posting in this sub-forum to get it off the front page.

[Zpete]

Mite be time for a death in the forum.

I agree with Moss, the Big Guy seems out of charcter there.

Sooo funny tho'.