Does Your Thai Wife/partner/gf Let You Cheat?

[villagefarang]

From my experience many of the farangs with this attitude found Thailand late in life and well after their sell-by-date. If you start off young, are not unpleasant to look at, posses a roguish charm and a knack for mimicking the manners of those around you, then money is not a major factor. Money only comes into play when other salable attributes are lacking.

For an old farang, you will be like a gold mine for Thai girls, and that's it.

For a young farang, you will be like a new toy for Thai girls. They will show you around like a new toy, the same way that you show your new BMW to your neighbor, and that's it. Believe me.

And if they don't want you to cheat, it means they don't want to loose a new toy which can be transformed into a gold mine in the future.

A good Thai girls will never marry a farang, you know it?

When you walk with a Thai girl on the street or in the mall, people will look at you like a clown walking with a hooker.

Sorry if I am too straight.

I think I'll stick with my own experience of 30+ years in Thailand, over your somewhat myopic view.

[Lopburi99]

For an old farang, you will be like a gold mine for Thai girls, and that's it.

For a young farang, you will be like a new toy for Thai girls. They will show you around like a new toy, the same way that you show your new BMW to your neighbor, and that's it. Believe me.

And if they don't want you to cheat, it means they don't want to loose a new toy which can be transformed into a gold mine in the future.

Some truth (sometimes) to that part of your post, but the rest is crap.

Edited September 13, 2009 by Lopburi99

[ff978472]

Some truth (sometimes) to that part of your post, but the rest is crap.

Tell me which part you don't belive in.

Are you a Thai? I am telling what a typical Thai think and why don't you believe it?

Do you know what a Thai think better than me?

[G54]

If I cheated, my g/f would go apesh*t. But I have always been faithful to the one I am with, so no problem for me.

Yes, she does check up on me. Not because she does not trust me, per say, but she knows full well that there are numerous other women out there who will do their best to lure me away. Also her ex husband did cheat. He used to say that it was no problem because he paid the woman so it was not for romance but for sex and that made it OK in his eyes. Understandable she is unsure of men.

Good job I was not being checked on last night as an ex g/f decided to come over to my table for a chat because I was out on my own. It would have been interrogation level 1.

[Lopburi99]

Some truth (sometimes) to that part of your post, but the rest is crap.

Tell me which part you don't belive in.

Are you a Thai? I am telling what a typical Thai think and why don't you believe it?

Do you know what a Thai think better than me?

"A good Thai girls will never marry a farang".

That is total crap and you know it. I'm amazed you would say something so stupid and inaccurate.

[ff978472]

I think I'll stick with my own experience of 30+ years in Thailand, over your somewhat myopic view.

Sorry, mine is 40+

[ff978472]

"A good Thai girls will never marry a farang".

That is total crap and you know it. I'm amazed you would say something so stupid and inaccurate.

You will learn it one day, son.

[Lopburi99]

"A good Thai girls will never marry a farang".

That is total crap and you know it. I'm amazed you would say something so stupid and inaccurate.

You will learn it one day, son.

My wife, 48 and a widow when I met her, didn't need any man. She had always led a responsible and honorable life and still does. I doubt any of her many many friends and family considers her not "a good Thai woman", thank you very much. I also doubt any consider me a clown and her a hooker. Never mind, up to you for whatever you think, I'm done on this.

Edited September 13, 2009 by Lopburi99

[villagefarang]

"A good Thai girls will never marry a farang".

That is total crap and you know it. I'm amazed you would say something so stupid and inaccurate.

You will learn it one day, son.

My wife, 48 and a widow when I met her, didn't need any man. She had always led a responsible and honorable life and still does. I doubt any of her many many friends and family considers her not "a good Thai woman", thank you very much. I also doubt any consider me a clown and her a hooker. Never mind, up to you for whatever you think, I'm done on this.

Don't let him get to you Lop, he is a total troll and not worth your time.

[Svenn]

^ Stay on topic ladies

That's an important point here, apparently being younger or not married makes the cheating more acceptable. I should have included age in the poll too. I'm 24, but I imagine most guys here are older than that and it's much easier to say "i have no desire to cheat." I want to be loyal to my gf, but in the face of so many attractive women in Thailand it's overwhelming. It just made me start thinking about this topic.

I played in Thailand from 21 to 43, when I finally met my wife. If you are 24 I wouldn't worry about it too much. That is way too young, in my book, to settle down. Just try to do as little damage as possible along the way and don't get married until you are absolutely certain.

That's the most encouraging advice I've heard in a long time! My gf acts like if I look at another girl that I'm committing some heinous war crime and am nothing more than a cheating sleezebag. It's like, I've given her all this respect and devotion and if I stray a little bit, it all of a sudden meant nothing? If she wanted another guy, I'd give her the space to do that. I'm glad to hear other people like yourself have perspective and don't take it too seriously.

[villagefarang]

^ Stay on topic ladies

That's an important point here, apparently being younger or not married makes the cheating more acceptable. I should have included age in the poll too. I'm 24, but I imagine most guys here are older than that and it's much easier to say "i have no desire to cheat." I want to be loyal to my gf, but in the face of so many attractive women in Thailand it's overwhelming. It just made me start thinking about this topic.

I played in Thailand from 21 to 43, when I finally met my wife. If you are 24 I wouldn't worry about it too much. That is way too young, in my book, to settle down. Just try to do as little damage as possible along the way and don't get married until you are absolutely certain.

That's the most encouraging advice I've heard in a long time! My gf acts like if I look at another girl that I'm committing some heinous war crime and am nothing more than a cheating sleezebag. It's like, I've given her all this respect and devotion and if I stray a little bit, it all of a sudden meant nothing? If she wanted another guy, I'd give her the space to do that. I'm glad to hear other people like yourself have perspective and don't take it too seriously.

That speaks more to her own insecurities and immaturity. You are not married, not blind and you are most certainly not dead. After 12 years together the wife and I still point out interesting looking people of either sex. Beautiful things are nice to look at, whether people or sunsets. Don't think that marriage or undying loyalty will change her one bit. She is the way she is and there is probably not much you can do to influence that. Give it another 20 years before you settle down, would be my advice as well as my example.

[Felt 35]

My wife will walk away immediately so would I. She not need a stray dog more than I need a whore.

[Neeranam]

Why on earth would your wife allow you to cheat?

Why would you want to? I've heard many say that their wife wouldn't mind - total rubbish. What wife wouldn't be hurt ? If you want to hurt your wife then go ahead. Life for me is about helping people. I f I can't help them I don't hurt them.

I've been married for 8 years and although been tempted many times have had the strength to say no.

Marriage is about respect and if you shag other woman other than your wife it is total disrespect.

[ChangMaiSausage]

The belief that you can cheat on your wife and not cause heart ache is a load of b*llocks. If your wife allows you to do that then any love that you both had previously has already gone. The same applies to other cultures and having more than one wife, many years ago this was acceptable and not frowned upon, now I believe it's not so common as it's not right.

I am not allowed to shag around and I would be p*ssed if I found out my wife was sleeping about.

Svenn you are young enjoy yourself and live life a little you will know when you are ready (and ditch any girl that says lets have an open relationship, IMO that is not a relationship)

[najman]

Why would I inflict emotion anguish over a bit of strange? It just isn't worth it in my book. I did all that in my younger single years.

That's an important point here, apparently being younger or not married makes the cheating more acceptable. I should have included age in the poll too. I'm 24, but I imagine most guys here are older than that and it's much easier to say "i have no desire to cheat." I want to be loyal to my gf, but in the face of so many attractive women in Thailand it's overwhelming. It just made me start thinking about this topic.

This doesnt have to do with age at all. Age is not an excuse for anything. I've never cheated and now I'm 30 and still dont plan to. Depends on your ethics level or lack thereof. Also your moral code. I've met guys that think its no big deal to cheat... until someone cheats on them. In most cases cheaters that think its ok to cheat would hate it if it happened to them.

When it does happen to them or something else happens to them then they will start to understand the meaning of karma. Until then... keep telling themselves its ok, wont they?

One day they'll have to face up to...

The pain

The STDs

The empty and hollow relationships

The real loneliness

The unwanted pregnancies

The glass in their soup

The broken bones

The gun shots

and of course the sky dives

[Travel2003]

Although I think the answers give itself from the expats, it is however another ball game if you had asked only Thais.

Of course, it also depends in what region (where) one do the research.

Read the book:

Genders & Sexualities In Modern Thailand.

By Peter A. Jackson & Nerida M. Cook.

Very interesting reading, if on like to read about social anthropology.

[villagefarang]

On the flip side, if you commit too young without a sufficient base for an intelligent and informed decision . In other words you buy into the whole marriage and family thing, right out of school. The odds are you will end up like many of these old farts. Divorced with alimony and child support payments. Perpetuating the dirty-old-man stereotype and chasing young village girls around Pattaya or elsewhere. All the time wondering what went wrong and regretting your choices.

Why would I inflict emotion anguish over a bit of strange? It just isn't worth it in my book. I did all that in my younger single years.

That's an important point here, apparently being younger or not married makes the cheating more acceptable. I should have included age in the poll too. I'm 24, but I imagine most guys here are older than that and it's much easier to say "i have no desire to cheat." I want to be loyal to my gf, but in the face of so many attractive women in Thailand it's overwhelming. It just made me start thinking about this topic.

This doesnt have to do with age at all. Age is not an excuse for anything. I've never cheated and now I'm 30 and still dont plan to. Depends on your ethics level or lack thereof. Also your moral code. I've met guys that think its no big deal to cheat... until someone cheats on them. In most cases cheaters that think its ok to cheat would hate it if it happened to them.

When it does happen to them or something else happens to them then they will start to understand the meaning of karma. Until then... keep telling themselves its ok, wont they?

One day they'll have to face up to...

The pain

The STDs

The empty and hollow relationships

The real loneliness

The unwanted pregnancies

The glass in their soup

The broken bones

The gun shots

and of course the sky dives

[Svenn]

This doesnt have to do with age at all. Age is not an excuse for anything. I've never cheated and now I'm 30 and still dont plan to. Depends on your ethics level or lack thereof.

Or testosterone level or lack thereof. OK najman, next time I see a junior high or primary school couple I'll tell them they better remain faithful to eachother FOREVER or else! Such kids trying out other relationships and experiences is an abomination. Do you really think "age is not an excuse for anything" ?

The majority of opinions so far seem to be very strong towards loyalty. But I am interested that 20% of voters are actually given permission to cheat. None of them have spoken yet.

Edited September 13, 2009 by Svenn

[mooncake]

This doesnt have to do with age at all. Age is not an excuse for anything. I've never cheated and now I'm 30 and still dont plan to. Depends on your ethics level or lack thereof.

Or testosterone level or lack thereof. OK najman, next time I see a junior high or primary school couple I'll tell them they better remain faithful to eachother FOREVER or else! Such kids trying out other relationships and experiences is an abomination.

experiences other relationships while you are with someone?

U got to be kidding if this is the ok concept for you,.....as if the cost of pains/heartaches of your current partner doesn't matter to you....hmm

I wonder what type of woman, you mostly will always end up with ...

Edited September 13, 2009 by mooncake

[villagefarang]

The majority of opinions so far seem to be very strong towards loyalty. But I am interested that 20% of voters are actually given permission to cheat. None of them have spoken yet.

Speaking up would be breaking the golden rule. If you cheat, never talk about it to anyone. That just makes you vulnerable as well as look bad. You tell even one person and others will surely find out.

[Svenn]

experiences other relationships while you are with someone?

U got to be kidding if this is the ok concept for you,.....as if the cost of pains/heartaches of your current partner doesn't matter to you....hmm

I wonder what type of woman, you mostly will always end up with ...

Relax, I was just talking about teenagers to prove a point to najman, I wasn't making generalized statements about say post-marriage relationships. And if I was, I never said the pain/heartache doesn't matter. It's painful for everybody, but maybe it's for the better, as villagefarang says, in the ultimate end. I am no relationship guru, so I defer once again to the peanut gallery...

[pattaya_girl]

I voted No. What is the point in being together if there is Cheating going on.

No way !!!

[Geekfreaklover]

I voted no.

Thai people in general are very posessive and prone to fits of jealously, often ending in violence.

Like, most things in this country it comes down to money. If you are in a marriage with a Thai and he/she permits you to play around on the understanding that nobody gets to hear about it, cause for concern. If you are the one paying the bills then it's obvious why they are with you.

I very much doubt that any foreigners that are being supported finacailly by Thai spouses are allowed to play around.. I am and I don't.

Edited September 13, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[Lopburi99]

Speaking up would be breaking the golden rule. If you cheat, never talk about it to anyone. That just makes you vulnerable as well as look bad. You tell even one person and others will surely find out.

Absolutely true. This is the golden rule. If you ever should cheat (for whatever reason) NEVER tell your wife/gf. Even if confronted, deny anything happened to the end. At least this keeps open some room for doubt in your partner's mind, something which could make all the difference. I disagree with some psychologists, "coming clean" that you have cheated is never a good idea. Don't take the chance thinking you may be helping smooth it over. It won't!

Keep in mind, for most people hearing their partner has cheated is about the most horrible news ever (unless the person no longer cares). The relationship is never, ever the same.

Edited September 13, 2009 by Lopburi99

[FarangForce5]

Been with the same gal for four years. Lived in pattaya for three, now in Esaan. Early she referred to boom as "just boom", meaning no love attatchment, just business. After a year, that changed. any side trips or whereabouts unknown was questioned. As my father once told me, "say nothing, admit nothing, even in the face of overwhelming proof, stonewall. I have followed thiose precepts to the letter. Any, and all, separations for poontang were discreet in different locals. Never, ever, shit where you eat, in Esaan, Pattaya or USA. That in your face stuff will not work here or anywhere. I do know of a few guys that are open about their adventures and have multiple sex partners with their girl watching, Kudus for them and the training of their gals

r

Ha, I was about to write the same thing basically. Guess there's no need now.... well said!

[Travel2003]

Come to think about it.

If the spouse allows the other part to do it.

Is that actually cheating?

yes I agree it would be a very strange relationship indeed.

What about these couples that like to be so called "swingers"?

Is this also cheating?

Of course, one can always discuss whether these couples are happy with each other or not.

But is it cheating?

I dont think so.

As mentioned earlier in this thread.

I like to read books about social anthropology.

In Thailand, and some of the neighbour countries here, it used to (remember, used to), be accepted if the husband had himself a one night stand.

A mistress (Mia Noi) was worse, because that meant it was a possibility that the husband could lose his heart to that person, thus the possibility that he abandoned his family for her.

Something the wife didnt see would happen if he visited a"professional" lady once in a while.

So is it cheating? I dont think so.

Would my wife accept it?

I would not live to tell.

[villagefarang]

People are very good a rationalizing what they do or want to do. I maybe stepping over the line a bit with this revelation but my modus operandi was to keep spares. Whenever the flavor of the month got it in her head to indulge in a little emotional blackmail, I would calm my nerves elsewhere and not be drawn into a major drama. It worked like magic for me but I can't guarantee similar results for all. Each must develop their own methodology, I suppose. Once you make a real commitment the rules change, however.

[Geekfreaklover]

People are very good a rationalizing what they do or want to do. I maybe stepping over the line a bit with this revelation but my modus operandi was to keep spares. Whenever the flavor of the month got it in her head to indulge in a little emotional blackmail, I would calm my nerves elsewhere and not be drawn into a major drama. It worked like magic for me but I can't guarantee similar results for all. Each must develop their own methodology, I suppose. Once you make a real commitment the rules change, however.

I know what you are saying Villiage Farang, but you have obviously conceded that to seek comfort with a gig when your present shackjob is not working out is a cowardly way to go about things. If you have to play around to forget whats going on at home then it is a slippery slope to the inevitable me thinks.

[Maverell]

My TG partner is of the opinion that men need variety and will go and get it anyway whether she agrees or not. Therefore she just places conditions on it ! We are not married, and never will be as I will not fall into that trap... ( again )

[ThaiFelix]

I told my wife I came here for more than the food and good weather. However, I like to be straight. I dont want to be like lots of other guys and say I'm at a work do when I am really in some sleazy short time hotel. I couldnt live like that. Anyhow she is ok with it as long as she knows whats going on and I think about her/my health. I dont make a hog of myself and it probably only happens a couple of times a year. I just tell her I want us to go on holiday somewhere and I want to take a girl. I usually ask her help to pick and the first time was hilarious. She liked the look of a girl so we arranged it. Then she liked another, and then one for her as she might give it a try!!. At three girls I needed a pee before leaving. By the time I got back there was a fourth...coz of the lovely smile.

Back at the hotel she indulged for a little while, then decided it was not her cup of tea so showed the others what I liked, showered, brushed her teeth, and went to sleep! She is very cool about it all...just as long as I take precautions and keep nothing from her. Its only sex. On the other hand she was furious about a girl at work who kept smsing me one weekend. Thats love, a completely different thing.