Living In A Village - Was It Tolerable For You?

[MJP]

I have been living in a viilage 35 kilos from Nakahn Sawan for three years. I decided to lve here because my wifes father is getting old and I felt it was good for her to be close to him for his last years. I first thought I would only tolerate the life hear but as time went on I found myself enjoying the village life. We built a new western style home and have been expanding on it for 2 years, always see something new to build. This along with the garden projects that never end have kept me pretty busy. We do try to get away for a few days at least once a month, Chiang Mai, Bankok, or south to the beach. We have our own car so have no trouble getting around, a trip to BIG C or Tesco in Nakahn Sawan once a week.I find that if we are gone to long I am ready to get home and relax, yes I do miss the village if I stay away to long. But I will say that staying here without the side trips to more cosmopolitan areas would probably be a little much.

As far as the noise and burning garbage, our bedroom is almost sound proof and when the village added garbage service for 20 baht a month the burning stopped, there is still some feild burning but that smell is not to bad.

Same . . . as . . . that.

Mind you I get away a lot. Not Thailand but the rest of the planet. This does make a cost effective and happy little base.

Local airport is 30mins away, then 1 hour to BKK.

[Lopburi99]

... even four weeks after the death of her brother, I still have to walk her to the bathroom in the middle of the night and bathe with her as she is still afraid to be alone.

During my first ill-fated marriage to a Thai woman, I brought her and her two boys to the States to live.

The boys (about 10 and 12) had their own room. The first night they were there the eldest cut out a paper cross (like the Christian cross), colored it and pasted it on the outside of their bedroom door.

I asked my wife why the boys, being Buddhist, made a Christian cross. She said it had nothing to do with religion. It was to keep the ghosts out of their room. Soon the paper crosses were everywhere - in the kitchen, bathroom, the car.

Edited September 26, 2009 by Lopburi99

[Lopburi99]

Great blog and photos! I've emailed the web address to my daughter and friends back in Canada and the U.S., and now they can get a very good view and impression of what my life is like here.

This site is recommended to everybody visiting this thread.

www.VillageFarang.com

Thanks a million VF!

WOW! What can I say Lop? I'm a little embarrassed now. I was just responding to Patsycat's request for some pictures and had no idea I would be the recipient of a level of warmth and support that is seldom seen on these pages. Not sure how many found the slideshow "My View" on the left column. That was my main goal.

Not all my musings are mainstream but I like to think that most people can find something of interest in my words to either agree or disagree with. Thank you very much for such a generous gesture of support.

Good luck with your own village adventure.

Glad you mentioned that because I missed the "My View" slideshow on the left and that is where the best photos were. Also, I noticed you just added photos on the funeral. Excellent photos as well. Thanks.

Edited September 26, 2009 by Lopburi99

[tim armstrong]

I have been living in a viilage 35 kilos from Nakahn Sawan for three years. I decided to lve here because my wifes father is getting old and I felt it was good for her to be close to him for his last years. I first thought I would only tolerate the life hear but as time went on I found myself enjoying the village life. We built a new western style home and have been expanding on it for 2 years, always see something new to build. This along with the garden projects that never end have kept me pretty busy. We do try to get away for a few days at least once a month, Chiang Mai, Bankok, or south to the beach. We have our own car so have no trouble getting around, a trip to BIG C or Tesco in Nakahn Sawan once a week.I find that if we are gone to long I am ready to get home and relax, yes I do miss the village if I stay away to long. But I will say that staying here without the side trips to more cosmopolitan areas would probably be a little much.

As far as the noise and burning garbage, our bedroom is almost sound proof and when the village added garbage service for 20 baht a month the burning stopped, there is still some feild burning but that smell is not to bad.

Hi Lopburi,

I also live near Nakhon Sawan and have done so for 7 years. I haven't read all the posts, so apologise if this has been covered already. But I think it makes a huge difference if you come from a farming or small town background in another country. Even if you only spent your childhood there as in my case. There is something universal about the appreciation of country life, that's difficult to understand if you have a city background. Even if you don't speak Thai, country people often seem to have the same aspirations, needs, lifestyles the world over. When I first visited our local village it took me about 5 minutes to identify the movers and shakers, wheeler dealers, holders of information and local characters. The only difference from where I was brought up in Australia was the language. I've found no difficulty in making Thai friends, even though my Thai is basic. The few farlang in the area are a mixed bunch, but I've made some good friends there too. For sure it helps that I recently have some work interests about 4 hrs from here with a farlang organisation. My wife and I don't go to Bangkok that much, but can if we want. We have a lot of visits from family and friends also. Sometimes we get itchy feet and talk about going O/S again for a while. But I feel curiously at home here. Maybe its about balance and not assuming any one place or person will meet all your needs. I still get motorbike rage, early morning loudspeaker rage, cane truck rage, and a few more, but I like the 'straightforwardness' of local people even if they still occassionally try to scam me. I don't know but maybe happiness is all about the quality of relationships rather the place you live in. Regards.

[khaowong1]

We have a home in Bangkok and one upcountry in Sukhothai which is a fair size town with an expat community. I've spent a lot of time there - and I would not want to be there full time. If I could relocate my business there that would make a big difference but still I like being in the city. Here in Bangkok we have a house close to everything and yet back up our soi it's quieter than the village. There's just more to do and a wider range of friends for me.

If I was retired perhaps I'd go back and forth more but I don't think full time. A little of the Thai family and village life goes a long way for me.

My advice (worth two cents if you're lucky):

Get a hobby fast and if you find yourself hitting the bottle before lunch that should be a warning sign.

You might also wander down to the local school and help out with some English tutoring. It's always welcome and could help you feel more a part of things so when you walk around people wave and accept you more.

Also if you don't exercise take that up, it will get you out of the house and you'll feel better and better about yourself. Sitting around is very dangerous in so many ways.

Good luck and stay sane!

That is great advice (thank you also, offset). The wife's sister is a kindergarten teacher so I have an in. Getting a work permit may be tough but the few baht isn't important anyway.

You are dead right about the dangers of sitting around. One thinks too much. I am also an IT guy and you know how occupied IT keeps you. I was constantly busy for 42 years until I had to abruptly retire two years ago. It is a huge adjustment, and I have a long way to go.

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

I know there's been discussion here about the risks of doing volunteer work without a work permit - you could search. But I find it really, really hard to believe that just stopping in at the local school, checking in with the principal and getting to know some teachers, that someone is going to bother you. Especially if you have family inside. Maybe if you started teaching classes and some teacher felt like you took their job - OK maybe. But sitting around a table after school and helping kids, or helping out a teacher in a class once a week - I find it really hard to believe there's a serious risk in doing that.

I go to the Bangkok school for the blind and hang out some afternoons with the kids - sometimes they have structured homework I help with and other times the older ones just like to chat in English. In a situation like that it's hardly "work", more social, and I'm sure your local school would be happy to have you do the same.

Since you're an IT guy their computer lab might need help to. There's been a big push to put PCs in rural school but experience around the world would tell us that 30%+ of them don't work after awhile. A school lab is one of the most hostile computing environments because kids are curious and no one is there to really manage the IT. Just getting some PCs up and working and teaching some PC skills might also be appreciated.

You forget where you live.. This is Thailand... someone is always going to complain that some farang is doing something that is putting a Thai person out of work... even if your helping for free.. I have lived in a small village for three years and any time I tried to help someone, whether it was kids with their English, as their English teacher is Thai and speaks no English, or help the neighbor paint or repair something, someone was always complaining that I put some Thai out of work... you see, the neighbor, if he needed help painting, could have hired some local drunk for a 100 baht, but no, this farang was helping him paint for free, therefore, preventing this drunk from making a 100 baht for the day. And the principal of the local school, would never embarress the English teacher by acually bringing in some FREE help who actually spoke English... god forbid... speaking of free help, does anyone remember the Tsunami, when all these people from around the world came into Thailand to help, for free, and was not allowed to help because they didn't have a work permit. And then was not given a work permit to help for free, because that would put some Thai person out of a job... even though that Thai person had no idea what he or she was doing.. Yes, this is Thailand... and yes, it's a third world country..

[Jay4367]

I'm beginning to think the handwriting is on the wall. We've been in a rural village near Sao Kaeo for about two months and I'm not sure I can adapt.

The most difficult is the early morning noise starting at 6am or earlier (like blasting one hour public announcements, music, ceremonial flute music/chanting, food vendors, you name it) which prevents me from getting a decent sleep and puts me right off in a lousy mood each day. This morning some nearby farmer is burning something and I can't sit outside because of the smoke. Man oh Man.

The wife won't be happy to hear this, especially since her family also lives here in the village (an additional difficulty), but I am thinking life in a quiet, clean high-rise in Jomtien or Pattaya may be a necessity for me. I also really miss the western food and English speaking businesses but that is a different matter.

Has anybody successfully adapted to village life like this? I need to hear a success story.

[raylo]

As I'm a very private person, I'm not intending to become "involved" in village life, and I certainly can't afford to provide anything for anyone other than my GF and myself. Is this a recipie for disaster?

You will have no choice but be involved in the village dramas, gossip, weddings, funerals, noise, property intrusions, etc. In fact it is fair to say you will have little privacy at all. Between your vision of what you want, your apparent financial situation and their expectations of you ... you've got some prime ingredients in a recipe for disaster.

Totally disagree. There are a number of factors such as your wife and her persona. But a lot of it depends on you.

I mentioned before I have lived in remote villages around Thailand and now live far north. There is an element of involvement but the depth and frequency is your choice. I am in a remote spot by some of your standards. There is one farang that I know of within 10km and have never met him. If I do fine. The other villages there were usually 1 or 2 farangs but again they were private persons. One guy a Swiss was particularly reclusive. His choice. He was not liked by the locals that much.

As you are a private person, ditto, it becomes you to decide your involvement. There is an obligation for the household to paprticipate / help in certain events and work projects. My mother in law usually does that and when their is a communal work project I donate a small amount in agreement with the local "headman". No problems.

[Jay4367]

I've been living in a small moo ban of corn farmers in very rural Nan Province going on two years where I had a house built next to my partner's parents, a big mistake. Everything you dislike where you are living is the same here compounded by the ignorance.

[Lopburi99]

I know there's been discussion here about the risks of doing volunteer work without a work permit - you could search. But I find it really, really hard to believe that just stopping in at the local school, checking in with the principal and getting to know some teachers, that someone is going to bother you. Especially if you have family inside. Maybe if you started teaching classes and some teacher felt like you took their job - OK maybe. But sitting around a table after school and helping kids, or helping out a teacher in a class once a week - I find it really hard to believe there's a serious risk in doing that.

I go to the Bangkok school for the blind and hang out some afternoons with the kids - sometimes they have structured homework I help with and other times the older ones just like to chat in English. In a situation like that it's hardly "work", more social, and I'm sure your local school would be happy to have you do the same.

Since you're an IT guy their computer lab might need help to. There's been a big push to put PCs in rural school but experience around the world would tell us that 30%+ of them don't work after awhile. A school lab is one of the most hostile computing environments because kids are curious and no one is there to really manage the IT. Just getting some PCs up and working and teaching some PC skills might also be appreciated.

You forget where you live.. This is Thailand... someone is always going to complain that some farang is doing something that is putting a Thai person out of work... even if your helping for free.. I have lived in a small village for three years and any time I tried to help someone, whether it was kids with their English, as their English teacher is Thai and speaks no English, or help the neighbor paint or repair something, someone was always complaining that I put some Thai out of work... you see, the neighbor, if he needed help painting, could have hired some local drunk for a 100 baht, but no, this farang was helping him paint for free, therefore, preventing this drunk from making a 100 baht for the day. And the principal of the local school, would never embarress the English teacher by acually bringing in some FREE help who actually spoke English... god forbid... speaking of free help, does anyone remember the Tsunami, when all these people from around the world came into Thailand to help, for free, and was not allowed to help because they didn't have a work permit. And then was not given a work permit to help for free, because that would put some Thai person out of a job... even though that Thai person had no idea what he or she was doing.. Yes, this is Thailand... and yes, it's a third world country..

Well I'm about ready to find out. On Wednesday I'll be going into a Kindergarten class to teach and speak a little English to the kids. The teacher, my wife's sister, said the kids really like singing so I found the music and lyrics to Hokey Pokey. Remember? "You put your right hand in you take your right hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about!"

She's sure the kids will love it. Plus they'll learn a few new English words and hopefully how to pronounce them correctly. We'll all have a good time. I'm sure they'll enjoy seeing a fat farang "shaking all about" as he turns himself around!

We'll see if there's any negative reaction. If everything seems OK, I'll probably do it again.

Oh, NO loud speaker entertainment this morning! :D Just got up now at 9am Sabai! If only more mornings could start like this!

Edited September 27, 2009 by Lopburi99

[villagefarang]

You forget where you live.. This is Thailand... someone is always going to complain that some farang is doing something that is putting a Thai person out of work... even if your helping for free.. I have lived in a small village for three years and any time I tried to help someone, whether it was kids with their English, as their English teacher is Thai and speaks no English, or help the neighbor paint or repair something, someone was always complaining that I put some Thai out of work... you see, the neighbor, if he needed help painting, could have hired some local drunk for a 100 baht, but no, this farang was helping him paint for free, therefore, preventing this drunk from making a 100 baht for the day. And the principal of the local school, would never embarress the English teacher by acually bringing in some FREE help who actually spoke English... god forbid... speaking of free help, does anyone remember the Tsunami, when all these people from around the world came into Thailand to help, for free, and was not allowed to help because they didn't have a work permit. And then was not given a work permit to help for free, because that would put some Thai person out of a job... even though that Thai person had no idea what he or she was doing.. Yes, this is Thailand... and yes, it's a third world country..

With an attitude like this, you are right to expect some complaining about farangs, or at least about yourself. Don't experience similar attitudes where I live.

[preahko]

My village living experience lasted six months, when I first came to Thailand and ended up living with my first girlfriend there in 2003. It was a very big mistake in many ways (not the least of which was the relationship itself, but that's another story!), but in the end it boils down to this: I've always been a "city rat" in my own country, and there's no way I could stand rural life here. So where the hel_l did I get the idea I could hack it in Thailand?! haha.

There were many bad things about it for me:

-the sheer boredom. there was really nothing to do but exercise (which I could only do at 4 am because of the oppressive heat, see below), watch TV (Thai channels only) and drink (every night, on the porch), and from time to time do contract work, once I got a laptop (though this was seriously hindered by the internet situation, see below)

-the people, part I. this village was Catholic, and not a farming village: people either worked jobs in nearby villages or the market town nearby, or they raised chickens for eggs. this is what all my girlfriend's old high school buddies (all male) did. btw, their families were pretty well-off as a result of this enterprise. their day consisted of waking up at 3, collecting the eggs, taking them into down, and some cleanup/maintenance in the pens. this was all done by about 9 am. for the rest of the day they drank beer--all day--played video games at one of their houses, and watched Thai music videos and Western movies dubbed in Thai. all day, every day. they would take naps in the afternoon, go to sleep for good by 8 or 9. same thing, every day. oh, on Saturday nights they would sometimes go out to karaokes/brothels. by gf did basically the same thing, except for the work part and the brothel part.

-the oppressive heat. basically, from 10 am to 4:30 pm, it was too hot to do anything or be anywhere (including inside the house) except UNDER the house in a hammock. thank gods the house was on a river, so there was a miniscule breeze. granted, most of my tenure living there was from February to May. lemme tell you, if you think Bangkok is hot, try experiencing summer just 2 hours north of Bangkok.

-the people, part II. I was treated, at best, as an exotic curiosity. at worst, as subhuman. granted, my command of Thai at that time was minimal but I did communicate only in Thai with them. still, they thought I was stupid because I was not Thai and they let me know this. and for all those who debate whether or not the term "farang" is derogatory sometimes, if you think it's not, it's 'cause you've never lived as the only white person in a Thai village. their use of it was right up there semantically with "nigger" in the pre-1960s Southern US.

-the general culture and society. this place was only 2 hours from Bangkok (by van and then bus), but it might as well have been 12 hours. talk about a "provincial" mentality. and all the accepted behaviors I couldn't get used to: I estimate that at any given time after 9 am, 40% of the drivers on the road were drunk. the school bus driver would sit and drink in the little restaurant/food store in the center of the village between his morning and afternoon runs.

-the dogs. while my gf's village didn't do rice farming, there were acres and acres of paddies right adjacent to it, and long roads with minimal (though drunk) traffic. great place to take a long walk and get away from village life for a while, right? wrong. every farm, every house had dogs. BIG, well-fed dogs, not like the hobbling underfed strays of Bangkok. and they were mean, and they viewed "their property" as including the road in front of their house. it was really treacherous just taking a walk. on the up-side, the dogs in our village were the same, but only to outsiders; they were totally friendly to anyone who lived there, including me; they would go running with me in the morning, thinking it was a game I was playing with them. but woe to any outsiders who came down the road to our village. or walked by on the district road that went by it.

-the internet. this may have changed in the past 6 years, but when I was there, it was only available via modem dial-up from a neighbor's house (ours had no phone) and was very slow. the other option was to use the big clunky terminal at the post office in the nearby market town, which was also slow but at least quite cheap: 17 satang a minute!

the positive aspects of living there? hmm, really, there weren't many. I laugh when I hear people talk about the "clean air" of the Thai countryside. bullshit. someone's always burning trash, often toxic plastic (and worse) trash. every single day. but if I had to find one positive thing, it was my girlfriend's cooking. every night, some of the best Thai food I've ever had. and those nights drinking on the porch as the sun was going down (before the bugs got too bad), complete with all the yummy appetizers she would whip up...well, I'll always have fond memories of those times.

[llso]

This has been a really good thread.As others have mentioned one of the best to come along in a while. I can relate to almost every post in some way. As the last post mentions things have changed a lot upcountry in the villages. Our village has changed greatly including improved roads,more Farangs, not sure if that is a good thing or not. I have to say again I have no ill feelings towards these people. My times in the villages in lower Issan were not all bad and I have had some great experiences. Just like anywhere there are good and bad people. I actually became a bit respected because of my hardline position. I remember one incident where I was called "Jai Dom". I told my wife very early on if she wants to kiss her family's a$$ that was up to her ,but I am not doing it. If anything they should be kissing mine. For me I realized I would never want or be able to live there permanently. I would like too but it is just not possible. One of the more interesting things is that when I was in the village and I spent a lot of time before we repatriated to the US. Was the attitude of the children,especially my wifes family sisters kids. They were the most respectful and accepting of me than anyone. Most had known me since they were born and others since they were very young. To them I was just that strange looking guy in the family.

LL

[beergal]

sounds like the consensus is village living is for the birds........it downright seems most cant take it.

AND FOR GUYS WHO HAVW KIDS ,WHATS UP. WHAT KIND OF FUTURE THEY GONNA HAVE GROWING UP IN THE VILLAGE.

[MJP]

sounds like the consensus is village living is for the birds........it downright seems most cant take it.

AND FOR GUYS WHO HAVW KIDS ,WHATS UP. WHAT KIND OF FUTURE THEY GONNA HAVE GROWING UP IN THE VILLAGE.

Great for them! Until they're 11 and then it's off to big school in Roi-Et.

[offset]

sounds like the consensus is village living is for the birds........it downright seems most cant take it.

AND FOR GUYS WHO HAVW KIDS ,WHATS UP. WHAT KIND OF FUTURE THEY GONNA HAVE GROWING UP IN THE VILLAGE.

What do you mean the children should not have a good family life not live in a crime free environment learn to make there own enjoyment where parents do not have to worry what the children are up to

Oh I forgot that they are not getting the experience to become bag snatchers, pickpockets, gold chain snatchers,and getting used to taking Yabber tablets or even selling them

[manjara]

You forget where you live.. This is Thailand Britain... someone is always going to complain that some farang foreigner is doing something that is putting a Thai British person out of work... even if your helping for free.. ... you see, the neighbor, if he needed help painting, could have hired some local drunk for a 100 baht, but no, this farang was helping him paint for free, therefore, preventing this drunk from making a 100 baht for the day. .. Yes, this is Thailand... and yes, it's a third world country..

Nationalism is alive and well in many countries....

[candychick]

sounds like the consensus is village living is for the birds........it downright seems most cant take it.

AND FOR GUYS WHO HAVW KIDS ,WHATS UP. WHAT KIND OF FUTURE THEY GONNA HAVE GROWING UP IN THE VILLAGE.

What do you mean the children should not have a good family life not live in a crime free environment learn to make there own enjoyment where parents do not have to worry what the children are up to

Oh I forgot that they are not getting the experience to become bag snatchers, pickpockets, gold chain snatchers,and getting used to taking Yabber tablets or even selling them

arent vilages known for grooming their young ladies in the art of being male companions!

arent villages known for whiskey gmblinglazy bums, and these are the wimmin! etc!

and not to mention the sheer boredom as many have said. what a great atmoshpere to raise young uns!

[MJP]

sounds like the consensus is village living is for the birds........it downright seems most cant take it.

AND FOR GUYS WHO HAVW KIDS ,WHATS UP. WHAT KIND OF FUTURE THEY GONNA HAVE GROWING UP IN THE VILLAGE.

What do you mean the children should not have a good family life not live in a crime free environment learn to make there own enjoyment where parents do not have to worry what the children are up to

Oh I forgot that they are not getting the experience to become bag snatchers, pickpockets, gold chain snatchers,and getting used to taking Yabber tablets or even selling them

arent vilages known for grooming their young ladies in the art of being male companions!

arent villages known for whiskey gmblinglazy bums, and these are the wimmin! etc!

and not to mention the sheer boredom as many have said. what a great atmoshpere to raise young uns!

I believe that is the stereotype, but not the case. 'My daughter works for a big bank in Bangkok' is the usual delusion about where all the money comes from.

[Lopburi99]

I've been living in a small moo ban of corn farmers in very rural Nan Province going on two years where I had a house built next to my partner's parents, a big mistake. Everything you dislike where you are living is the same here compounded by the ignorance.

Could you please explain the problems which you have specific to village life, and also specific to living next your partner's parents so I and others maybe can benefit from your experiences? Have you been able to overcome any problems and if so, how? Thanks.

Edited September 27, 2009 by Lopburi99

[Lopburi99]

My village living experience lasted six months, when I first came to Thailand and ended up living with my first girlfriend there in 2003. It was a very big mistake in many ways (not the least of which was the relationship itself, but that's another story!), but in the end it boils down to this: I've always been a "city rat" in my own country, and there's no way I could stand rural life here. So where the hel_l did I get the idea I could hack it in Thailand?! haha.

There were many bad things about it for me:

-the sheer boredom. there was really nothing to do but exercise (which I could only do at 4 am because of the oppressive heat, see below), watch TV (Thai channels only) and drink (every night, on the porch), and from time to time do contract work, once I got a laptop (though this was seriously hindered by the internet situation, see below)

-the people, part I. this village was Catholic, and not a farming village: people either worked jobs in nearby villages or the market town nearby, or they raised chickens for eggs. this is what all my girlfriend's old high school buddies (all male) did. btw, their families were pretty well-off as a result of this enterprise. their day consisted of waking up at 3, collecting the eggs, taking them into down, and some cleanup/maintenance in the pens. this was all done by about 9 am. for the rest of the day they drank beer--all day--played video games at one of their houses, and watched Thai music videos and Western movies dubbed in Thai. all day, every day. they would take naps in the afternoon, go to sleep for good by 8 or 9. same thing, every day. oh, on Saturday nights they would sometimes go out to karaokes/brothels. by gf did basically the same thing, except for the work part and the brothel part.

-the oppressive heat. basically, from 10 am to 4:30 pm, it was too hot to do anything or be anywhere (including inside the house) except UNDER the house in a hammock. thank gods the house was on a river, so there was a miniscule breeze. granted, most of my tenure living there was from February to May. lemme tell you, if you think Bangkok is hot, try experiencing summer just 2 hours north of Bangkok.

-the people, part II. I was treated, at best, as an exotic curiosity. at worst, as subhuman. granted, my command of Thai at that time was minimal but I did communicate only in Thai with them. still, they thought I was stupid because I was not Thai and they let me know this. and for all those who debate whether or not the term "farang" is derogatory sometimes, if you think it's not, it's 'cause you've never lived as the only white person in a Thai village. their use of it was right up there semantically with "nigger" in the pre-1960s Southern US.

-the general culture and society. this place was only 2 hours from Bangkok (by van and then bus), but it might as well have been 12 hours. talk about a "provincial" mentality. and all the accepted behaviors I couldn't get used to: I estimate that at any given time after 9 am, 40% of the drivers on the road were drunk. the school bus driver would sit and drink in the little restaurant/food store in the center of the village between his morning and afternoon runs.

-the dogs. while my gf's village didn't do rice farming, there were acres and acres of paddies right adjacent to it, and long roads with minimal (though drunk) traffic. great place to take a long walk and get away from village life for a while, right? wrong. every farm, every house had dogs. BIG, well-fed dogs, not like the hobbling underfed strays of Bangkok. and they were mean, and they viewed "their property" as including the road in front of their house. it was really treacherous just taking a walk. on the up-side, the dogs in our village were the same, but only to outsiders; they were totally friendly to anyone who lived there, including me; they would go running with me in the morning, thinking it was a game I was playing with them. but woe to any outsiders who came down the road to our village. or walked by on the district road that went by it.

-the internet. this may have changed in the past 6 years, but when I was there, it was only available via modem dial-up from a neighbor's house (ours had no phone) and was very slow. the other option was to use the big clunky terminal at the post office in the nearby market town, which was also slow but at least quite cheap: 17 satang a minute!

the positive aspects of living there? hmm, really, there weren't many. I laugh when I hear people talk about the "clean air" of the Thai countryside. bullshit. someone's always burning trash, often toxic plastic (and worse) trash. every single day. but if I had to find one positive thing, it was my girlfriend's cooking. every night, some of the best Thai food I've ever had. and those nights drinking on the porch as the sun was going down (before the bugs got too bad), complete with all the yummy appetizers she would whip up...well, I'll always have fond memories of those times.

Thanks for taking the time to write this post, which brings some chuckles and some winces.

Where to live in Thailand is a huge decision. I believe all experiences should be considered, and even posts which seem to be unreasonably anti-village or even anti-Thailand still (sometimes) contain information which is useful to be aware of.

Glad you will "always have fond memories of those times", however, it therefore seems you must have spent the majority of your time eating!

Edited September 27, 2009 by Lopburi99

[villagefarang]

My problems seem minor compared to many here. Perhaps that is why I'm so happy in the village. We still have roughly 2 rai out front along the driveway, that is rice paddy. Actually thinking of filling in a portion of it and building something very Thai for the in-laws along the soi, next to the entrance of our driveway. The thought being that they would be better able to watch after our place and dogs when we are gone. With only one way in or out they could serve as a guard shack of sorts.

The wife and I miss some of our overseas friends and the traveling we used to do. The condo was turn the key and go. The house and dogs are a little more complicated. My privacy is always respected but I won't let anyone else live in our house. It would perhaps, make things more secure and convenient if we moved the family a little closer so we could use them for a change. They are only three hundred meters away now, but can't see who comes and goes from there. Well, maybe next year.

Edited September 27, 2009 by villagefarang

[dumbnewbie]

But centipedes - huge mothers . Half a meter long and as thick as a snake. Outside, not in the house fortunately. Even the wife gets freaked at them. I've had to send about a dozen back to meet their Maker since being here.

OhMyF-ingGOD! No village life for me!!

[billd766]

You forget where you live.. This is Thailand... someone is always going to complain that some farang is doing something that is putting a Thai person out of work... even if your helping for free.. I have lived in a small village for three years and any time I tried to help someone, whether it was kids with their English, as their English teacher is Thai and speaks no English, or help the neighbor paint or repair something, someone was always complaining that I put some Thai out of work... you see, the neighbor, if he needed help painting, could have hired some local drunk for a 100 baht, but no, this farang was helping him paint for free, therefore, preventing this drunk from making a 100 baht for the day. And the principal of the local school, would never embarress the English teacher by acually bringing in some FREE help who actually spoke English... god forbid... speaking of free help, does anyone remember the Tsunami, when all these people from around the world came into Thailand to help, for free, and was not allowed to help because they didn't have a work permit. And then was not given a work permit to help for free, because that would put some Thai person out of a job... even though that Thai person had no idea what he or she was doing.. Yes, this is Thailand... and yes, it's a third world country..

With an attitude like this, you are right to expect some complaining about farangs, or at least about yourself. Don't experience similar attitudes where I live.

I don't have problems with my neighbours either. On one side he asked me to cut down the scrub so people could see his resort more easily and as I was doing the other side anyway I just swapped sides as I was going to do that side the following week anyway.

That is I meaning me and not a local guy. Up here we usually pay the guys about 180 baht for an 8 hour day and as I am nice at the end of the day I sent them up to my wife's noodle shop for a meal and a bottle of lao khao. It costs me perhaps 60 baht extra but I know if I need the guys again I can get them and they do a fair job.

The local hjead teacher here has asked me to do some English work at thew school here but I apologised and said I would do it when I quit working ( 4 months ago now) and when my spoken Thai is better.

There are probably about 20 farangs in a 30km radius that I know of and we generally keep ourselves to ourselves though sometimes we meet for a beer or 2 we don't live in each others pockets nor do we live in farang ghettos with high walls, steel gates and in some cases I have read on TV behind electrified barbed wire fences.

[Lopburi99]

This has been a really good thread.As others have mentioned one of the best to come along in a while. I can relate to almost every post in some way. As the last post mentions things have changed a lot upcountry in the villages. Our village has changed greatly including improved roads,more Farangs, not sure if that is a good thing or not. I have to say again I have no ill feelings towards these people. My times in the villages in lower Issan were not all bad and I have had some great experiences. Just like anywhere there are good and bad people. I actually became a bit respected because of my hardline position. I remember one incident where I was called "Jai Dom". I told my wife very early on if she wants to kiss her family's a$ that was up to her ,but I am not doing it. If anything they should be kissing mine. For me I realized I would never want or be able to live there permanently. I would like too but it is just not possible. One of the more interesting things is that when I was in the village and I spent a lot of time before we repatriated to the US. Was the attitude of the children,especially my wifes family sisters kids. They were the most respectful and accepting of me than anyone. Most had known me since they were born and others since they were very young. To them I was just that strange looking guy in the family.

LL

Looking back, it was so important that I made it clear to my wife very early that I would support her only. Not her daughter (23 then) or her son (25 then) or even her mother. It set everybody's expectations early. Upon entering a new relationship, all eyes are on you in terms of how generous you will be financially for everybody in the picture. Precedence is quickly set, so be careful. Especially now that I live near the MIL, sisters, and other family, I am very glad the precedence has already been set. They were surviving OK before I came on the scene, they can survive OK now. That's how I look at it.

In my case it wasn't that I didn't want to take care of other family members, I simply wasn't financially equipped to do so. Maybe if I had more resources I would feel differently, but I don't think so. Sometimes, not always, you're on a slippery slope once you start handing cash out. There are many stories of the proverbial black hole here. I remember some time ago reading a post about some farang who said he was supporting the family, extended family, even most of the (small) village. I can see how that can happen. He was probably Daddy Warbucks and money was no object, I don't know.

[mokwit]

Hilarious thread. I have never seen such an outbreak of truth on Thaivisa.

Where are all the superior Brits claiming that they have certainly never experienced these kind of problems and if people do it is because they have no understanding of Thai culture etc.

No doubt the moderators will be along soon using the house accounts to make some posts more in keeping with the fantasy

[Lopburi99]

My problems seem minor compared to many here. Perhaps that is why I'm so happy in the village. We still have roughly 2 rai out front along the driveway, that is rice paddy. Actually thinking of filling in a portion of it and building something very Thai for the in-laws along the soi, next to the entrance of our driveway. The thought being that they would be better able to watch after our place and dogs when we are gone. With only one way in or out they could serve as a guard shack of sorts.

The wife and I miss some of our overseas friends and the traveling we used to do. The condo was turn the key and go. The house and dogs are a little more complicated. My privacy is always respected but I won't let anyone else live in our house. It would perhaps, make things more secure and convenient if we moved the family a little closer so we could use them for a change. They are only three hundred meters away now, but can't see who comes and goes from there. Well, maybe next year.

Very wise, VF. Now that could be a recipe for disaster. A while back the wife and I were sketching some ideas about a house plan and she was mentioning a possible bedroom for Yai "just in case". Huh? Whoa! I knew I needed to end this line of thought promptly so I had to make the very clear (somewhat uncomfortable) stand that never would anybody other than the two of us live in our home. She was disappointed but understood. Another precedent solidly set I hope. But we know our wife/gf probably holds out hope for being able to persuade us later on things important to her. I dread this, because I know the importance of family. Like somebody once posted on a different thread, the loyalty a Thai woman has to her mother represents the unpayable debt.

[MJP]

Hilarious thread. I have never seen such an outbreak of truth on Thaivisa.

Where are all the superior Brits claiming that they have certainly never experienced these kind of problems and if people do it is because they have no understanding of Thai culture etc.

No doubt the moderators will be along soon using the house accounts to make some posts more in keeping with the fantasy

Build walls. High ones. Install gates. Thick ones.

Create your own little oasis. That way it works just fine.

[richardathuahin]

I recemtly wrote up my experiences and posted it on HHAD and Kon Khaen.com. I have also had it published in several magazines.

I have come to terms with it but need a break every month in KK and Hua Hin every 3 months

This is my account attached

Cheers

I'm beginning to think the handwriting is on the wall. We've been in a rural village near Sao Kaeo for about two months and I'm not sure I can adapt.

The most difficult is the early morning noise starting at 6am or earlier (like blasting one hour public announcements, music, ceremonial flute music/chanting, food vendors, you name it) which prevents me from getting a decent sleep and puts me right off in a lousy mood each day. This morning some nearby farmer is burning something and I can't sit outside because of the smoke. Man oh Man.

The wife won't be happy to hear this, especially since her family also lives here in the village (an additional difficulty), but I am thinking life in a quiet, clean high-rise in Jomtien or Pattaya may be a necessity for me. I also really miss the western food and English speaking businesses but that is a different matter.

Has anybody successfully adapted to village life like this? I need to hear a success story.

Expat_life_living_in_a_village_in_Isaan_20.doc

[mokwit]

You mean you don't want to be welcomed into the bosom of the village and to be acceted as Thai by the family and villagers, partaking in all those village activities with only a smila and some compliments in Thai required from you (someone else pays).

Don't you want to be seen as a high status Poo yai by helping out with these calamities that befall the extended family with suspicious regularity? Fortunately they all seeem to have a financial solution so ypu don't have to worry about doing the wrong thin (otherr than refusing to take the problem on board of course).

[Patsycat]

Village Farang,

Your blog is great - I must admit i did not look at it until this morning. The afternoons are getting shorter here and the sun blasts into my living room from about 2 till 5 and i have to turn the computer off. So white on black is a no no. RIP your brother in law.

Was it not you that had a blog on here and a dog that you called the "Rat Dog"? How is he?!!

Loving this thread and all your stories, good and bad. And the people who have not read all the posts - you should.