How Many Farangs Do You Know,

[samuibeachcomber]

Through my observations I've found the happiest westerners seem to be the ones who've usually married a Thai from the same social group as themselves which, for want of a better phrase, would be middle class. Usually fairly near in age as well.

When I see some of the village horror stories that westerners shack up with I just thank the lord that isn't me. Their faces look like they're in a living hel_l. It's almost as if they set out to find the lowest piece of immoral dross they could and then marry her.

Sorry. Got to call it as I see it.

you make a good point and am sure you are right,a huge age difference does n't usually work.

[bobbin]

Through my observations I've found the happiest westerners seem to be the ones who've usually married a Thai from the same social group as themselves which, for want of a better phrase, would be middle class. Usually fairly near in age as well.

When I see some of the village horror stories that westerners shack up with I just thank the lord that isn't me. Their faces look like they're in a living hel_l. It's almost as if they set out to find the lowest piece of immoral dross they could and then marry her.

Sorry. Got to call it as I see it.

you make a good point and am sure you are right,a huge age difference does n't usually work.

Maybe.

But until it goes off the rails, it's a hel l of a ride!!

[Ulysses G.]

Sure you've said this many times before.

So what? You get all this negative stuff day in and day out. Maigo6 is right!

[phetaroi]

Most people from western cultures have a choice. They can CHOOSE to be sad or CHOOSE to be happy. It's really that simple. My brother chooses to be sad and blames everyone else for his ailments; most of which he brought on himself. I choose to be happy and I make decisions that are not too risky. And, I'm willing to accept the consequences of my OWN actions. However, I'm fortunate that I have good health. But, for the most part that was also a CHOICE. I eat well, but not too exccess, I exercise and I don't smoke. When I drink it's in moderation. I budget my income and live within my means.

Oh Mr. Ian if it were only that simple -- 'just make the choice'. If you had struggled with (clinical) depression you would know people who don't have the good fortune of having stable serotonin levels, etc, are usually UNABLE to CHOOSE to be happy! As a person who has fought depression all my life, many times I've had people nearly scold me "knock it off; stop being a Sad Sack; go in the corner and cry; stop feeling sorry for yourself; just get your ass out of bed; grow up;..." you name it. That's like telling the guy with the broken leg "just get up and walk". I have never chosen to be sad when my chemistry was ok, I quickly would choose to be happy as you do every day. And my state of health definitely wasn't/isn't a choice. I do what I can about eating high Omega-3 foods, etc but since this has been a lifelong battle, I know there is only so much I can do. Thank God depression comes and goes. Don't have any at present, and don't have a clue why, but I know living in the Land of Sun helps. Something about chemicals being increased via stimulation through the optic nerve.

Only a person who has experienced the terrible illness of depression can truly understand my words. Others just don't, and perhaps can't, understand the debilitating nature of the illness and how depression itself often fuels on itself making matters even worse.

Your posting in and of itself says a lot about clinical depression. You took the other post at its worst interpretation. After all, the poster said, "Most people from western cultures have a choice."

I had a bout with clinical depression about three years ago and had to go on meds...a moderate dose, thankfully...and I am now down to a level of meds that is so low that I only stay on it because it seems to help my variable blood pressure. Even in the midst of the crisis, I was able to control my actions, even if I couldn't quite control my inner-feelings. For example, I couldn't choose to be happy, but I could choose not to make other people unhappy or uncomfortable. Perhaps I was just lucky.

[caf]

Most people from western cultures have a choice. They can CHOOSE to be sad or CHOOSE to be happy. It's really that simple. My brother chooses to be sad and blames everyone else for his ailments; most of which he brought on himself. I choose to be happy and I make decisions that are not too risky. And, I'm willing to accept the consequences of my OWN actions. However, I'm fortunate that I have good health. But, for the most part that was also a CHOICE. I eat well, but not too exccess, I exercise and I don't smoke. When I drink it's in moderation. I budget my income and live within my means.

Oh Mr. Ian if it were only that simple -- 'just make the choice'. If you had struggled with (clinical) depression you would know people who don't have the good fortune of having stable serotonin levels, etc, are usually UNABLE to CHOOSE to be happy! As a person who has fought depression all my life, many times I've had people nearly scold me "knock it off; stop being a Sad Sack; go in the corner and cry; stop feeling sorry for yourself; just get your ass out of bed; grow up;..." you name it. That's like telling the guy with the broken leg "just get up and walk". I have never chosen to be sad when my chemistry was ok, I quickly would choose to be happy as you do every day. And my state of health definitely wasn't/isn't a choice. I do what I can about eating high Omega-3 foods, etc but since this has been a lifelong battle, I know there is only so much I can do. Thank God depression comes and goes. Don't have any at present, and don't have a clue why, but I know living in the Land of Sun helps. Something about chemicals being increased via stimulation through the optic nerve.

Only a person who has experienced the terrible illness of depression can truly understand my words. Others just don't, and perhaps can't, understand the debilitating nature of the illness and how depression itself often fuels on itself making matters even worse.

Your posting in and of itself says a lot about clinical depression. You took the other post at its worst interpretation. After all, the poster said, "Most people from western cultures have a choice."

I had a bout with clinical depression about three years ago and had to go on meds...a moderate dose, thankfully...and I am now down to a level of meds that is so low that I only stay on it because it seems to help my variable blood pressure. Even in the midst of the crisis, I was able to control my actions, even if I couldn't quite control my inner-feelings. For example, I couldn't choose to be happy, but I could choose not to make other people unhappy or uncomfortable. Perhaps I was just lucky.

I agree Ian said MOST, but he also said " My brother...." so I think Lopburi's reply was both frank and honest. Ian's post was a generalisation from no clinical knowledge. Lopburi's was from his personal experience.

[Ulysses G.]

I suffered from depression all of my life until I came to Thailand. I have been content since that time. It is amazing how some female attention can cheer one up when one feels down.

[slapout]

I will agree some what with UG on his post. When I get depressed/down I appreciate the female attention you can find around CM, it was usually the attention I get from the wife at home that puts me in the shi..y mood to start with though. I consider myself a happy somewhat well adjusted old geezer who whinges about somethings more for conservation than anything else. CM and Thailand can bring immense laughter/happiness, if you will just not take things too personal.

[Lopburi99]

Most people from western cultures have a choice. They can CHOOSE to be sad or CHOOSE to be happy. It's really that simple. My brother chooses to be sad and blames everyone else for his ailments; most of which he brought on himself. I choose to be happy and I make decisions that are not too risky. And, I'm willing to accept the consequences of my OWN actions. However, I'm fortunate that I have good health. But, for the most part that was also a CHOICE. I eat well, but not too exccess, I exercise and I don't smoke. When I drink it's in moderation. I budget my income and live within my means.

Your posting in and of itself says a lot about clinical depression. You took the other post at its worst interpretation. After all, the poster said, "Most people from western cultures have a choice."

I had a bout with clinical depression about three years ago and had to go on meds...a moderate dose, thankfully...and I am now down to a level of meds that is so low that I only stay on it because it seems to help my variable blood pressure. Even in the midst of the crisis, I was able to control my actions, even if I couldn't quite control my inner-feelings. For example, I couldn't choose to be happy, but I could choose not to make other people unhappy or uncomfortable. Perhaps I was just lucky.

I agree Ian said MOST, but he also said " My brother...." so I think Lopburi's reply was both frank and honest. Ian's post was a generalisation from no clinical knowledge. Lopburi's was from his personal experience.

Yes, it was Ian's reference to his brother which prompted my reply.

Edited September 29, 2009 by Lopburi99

[Ulysses G.]

it was usually the attention I get from the wife at home that puts me in the shi..y mood to start with though.

That is why I stay single!

[IanForbes]

I understand Lopburi's position and I feel sorry for him. That is why I'm fairly tolerant of other's failings. It's also why I mentioned I'm lucky having had good health. And, I DID mean most people, but with the understanding that not everyone falls into the same bracket.

It's easy to be tolerant of other's problems when you don't have to live with them. My step son caused me all sorts of problems by taking drugs, drinking while driving and smashing our car, kicking holes in my home, stealing my cameras and other equipment to feed his habit. And, he was the main cause for the destruction of my second marriage. I could have CHOSEN to be angry with him, but all I felt was sorrow. I came to realize he had some sort of depression and was mentally unstable. Although I loved his mother very much I eventually learned I was better off without her and her problem son.

I can also identify with what Ulysses said. I could have become depressed had I stayed in the same surroundings after my wife left. Instead I did something about it. I am very grateful for a friend who introduced me to the delights of Thailand and I've never felt better.

I was always embarrassed by my father's intolerance for others failings. My father was always a strong individual that never had health problems. He was a sports hero who was always the star player. He was never bothered by biting insects when others were being chewed alive by mosquitos and black flies. It wasn't until he got old that he finally learned what it was like to have health issues.

[473geo]

Well I just cannot believe Maigo6.......talking about farangs complaining and miserable.......

And here he is starting a thread that finishes up discussing clinical depression.........bloody cheerful that is Maigo6.....

[Lopburi99]

Well I just cannot believe Maigo6.......talking about farangs complaining and miserable.......

And here he is starting a thread that finishes up discussing clinical depression.........bloody cheerful that is Maigo6.....

Can't blame that one on Maigo as you know. I diverted the topic. My apologies.

Score 1 Maigo. Man, did I take the bait!

10-4.

Edited September 30, 2009 by Lopburi99

[Atmos]

Personally, I'm very happy here. Pretty much every other westerner I know is relatively happy here also - some people I know do like a good whinge now and again, but even those people are still content and don't plan on leaving.

It seems that ThaiVisa, and forums in general, attract a lot of people who just want a place to complain and let of steam, plus perhaps a lot of bitter people in general. It's important to remember that the vast majority of people in Thailand don't have the time or the inclination to write posts on ThaiVisa. Many will have never heard of the site, let alone ever actually written anything on here. So it follows that the people who contribute here aren't your typical expats anyway.

Agree; esp para 2. Mixed staff at work, 16 in all, none use (or had even heard of) this or the 'other' forum.

Perhaps they're happier for the fact!

Me - an 8 out of 10 happy most days; beats my previous life for sure.

[patklang]

Forgot to say in my last post.

Many of my friends who come on extended holidays,or a year out from thei work,are very unhappy.

VERY UNHAPPY THEY CANNOT RETIRE AND LIVE IN PATTAYA

[quiksilva]

I am over 30, been here for 12 years, and am very happy, thanks.

Most of my foreign friends here are also over 30, have been here for a while (many more than 10 years, most over 5) and all them seem very happy too.

Tend to agree with the comments about forums.. in fact I have come to think that forums (any forum) are only for people who want to complain, vent or troll. There are some bright spots of course but sadly those forums are few and far between..both here on TV and elsewhere (and Im not just talking about Thai related forums either).

[IanForbes]

Well I just cannot believe Maigo6.......talking about farangs complaining and miserable.......

And here he is starting a thread that finishes up discussing clinical depression.........bloody cheerful that is Maigo6.....

Can't blame that one on Maigo as you know. I diverted the topic. My apologies.

Score 1 Maigo. Man, did I take the bait!

10-4.

No need to apologize. It's all inter-related. People can be unhappy for many different reasons, and clinical depression is just one of them. However, I DO know that you CAN improve your health and outlook on life if you actually TRY! Every time something goes wrong in my life I try to think of several reasons why it happened and what I can do to change it. I can usually find something positive about any situation... even a tragedy. But, you have to intentionally focus on ONLY the positive and keep reminding yourself how good life can be... even with just the bare essentials. And, having sex with an attractive partner on a regular basis goes a long way in improving one's outlook on life.

[473geo]

Yep Ian....good one....shag yourself healthy.......should be plenty of takers on that one....

[IanForbes]

Yep Ian....good one....shag yourself healthy.......should be plenty of takers on that one....

Believe it or not, it works. You are lying there with a big grin on your face and two beautiful women beside you, and you are wondering what it was you were unhappy about the day before.

[Geekfreaklover]

Yep Ian....good one....shag yourself healthy.......should be plenty of takers on that one....

Believe it or not, it works. You are lying there with a big grin on your face and two beautiful women beside you, and you are wondering what it was you were unhappy about the day before.

I hear you man. That's why the good lord invented hookers.

[stevymac]

Im very happy ere beats living in england wer the birds are overweight and the weathers crap ! Im 25 yrs old and anywere were the beer is as cheap as here u shudnt complain. Love thailand!

[teddy_bare]

Despite being financially sound and happy, the smug should remember how easy their life's can be turned around.

You don't know everyones history or life experiences. There be many reasons why people seem to complain, grumble and gripe about their current abode.

Think about the people you know whose life has been changed by events outside of their control.

A mate of mine was fairly upbeat with his life in Thailand, until a drunk driver plough into him causing him massive physical damage. Guess what, he isn't so up beat now. Just one example, but I am sure each individual has got to their current state of happiness thru a lifetime of experiences relevant to them and perhap beyond your comprehension or life experiences.

Would you say my mate has a right/reason to be bitter? Or is he just one of those sad gits you have managed to pigeon hole.

Judging people isn't a good trait, as invaribly sez more about you than them.

I hope your life stay as bitter free as your reality allows.

[teddy_bare]

[quote And, having sex with an attractive partner on a regular basis goes a long way in improving one's outlook on life.

Geeze there must be some fairly unhappy thai girls out there then!!!

Edited October 1, 2009 by teddy_bare

[aehn]

Not counting Thai Visa Forum, where many seem to be really bitter and twisted about the desicions they have made in their lives, how many normal Farangs do you know that are relatively happy ?

And you ask that here on Thaivisa?

Edited October 1, 2009 by aehn

[phetaroi]

Despite being financially sound and happy, the smug should remember how easy their life's can be turned around.

...

Think about the people you know whose life has been changed by events outside of their control.

...

Judging people isn't a good trait, as invaribly sez more about you than them.

..

Yes, my son certainly proved that one's life can turn around for the worse with a rapidity (and sometimes finality) that is stunning. But, on the other hand, when that happens you still have some choice about how you react to the changes.

In terms of judging others says more about you than the people being judge...that's very cliche and not necessarily true.

[Maigo6]

Not counting Thai Visa Forum, where many seem to be really bitter and twisted about the desicions they have made in their lives, how many normal Farangs do you know that are relatively happy ?

And you ask that here on Thaivisa?

LOL.

Yeah, it was silly really.

[teddy_bare]

..

Yes, my son certainly proved that one's life can turn around for the worse with a rapidity (and sometimes finality) that is stunning. But, on the other hand, when that happens you still have some choice about how you react to the changes. True, but for most it takes a strong personality and perhaps a religious outlook to overcome many of the unfair calamities that can happen to befall Joe Smoe. The after taste, experience and ongoing problems can wilt the spirits of the strongest individual. No one walks away unaffected IMHO

In terms of judging others says more about you than the people being judge...that's very cliche and not necessarily true.

I like cliches and generalism. They are, as often as not, based on many peoples collective observations of behavoiurs and traits. Hence often respresent a majority viewpoint. Although not perfect as a whole and often further tainted by a hidden hand, they serve to fill in the gaps in the knowledge of many peoples' schemes.

People are offended by some generalism, but they should be thankful that others have observed them in this way and are actually providing some feed back about the way others comprehend them. My beliefs are very often reinforced as I go about my work or pleasure. Do I look for it? No. Do I see it? Yes. So to me it's real and tangible. Sometimes my previous preceptions are contradicted, and it's refreshing. If the generalism is totally based on fiction, the offended can make it their goal reeducate the others. Unfortunately, there are many uneducated people in the world who need generalism to understand their surrounding.

You know and I know that not all farang are rich, but the majority of Thais think we are. Go figure.

BTW, Hello dad

[WhiteShrek]

How many "farang" in Thailand do I know personally who are happy here? Good question. Took a while to think. Well into the hundreds I'd say. Sadly a lot of great people I've known here have only done a couple of years and then moved on though.

[enemedin]

my friend a week ago was happy...

he managed to get a ticket back to his country

so for a week he tried to get the most of this great city

[Lancelot]

Not counting Thai Visa Forum, where many seem to be really bitter and twisted about the desicions they have made in their lives, how many normal Farangs do you know that are relatively happy ?

Only you dude

[Ijustwannateach]

None of the ones whose sad lives are about trolling, for sure!!!