Sleazy Gay Men In The Gym

[Longbow212]

I would like to start off by stating that I am saying I am not homophobic or have anger management issues.

I go to the gym on a semi regular basis and as anyone else who does the same will quite obviously know there is a large percentage of Thai and farang gay men that go also, no problem with that - some of them are very decent chaps.

Quite often I may notice a gay guy discretely eyeing me up, as soon as I look over though this normally stops immediately. I have no problem with that (if anything slightly flattered) and I can't complain as I may do the same very discretely if there is a hot girl, I am human afterall.

However, most times I go I am finding that there is more than a discrete look from certain people. Sometimes its a blatent standing and gawking from less than 2 metres not caring that I have noticed or a group of them all turning around in synchronisation and all checking me out up and down, staring at my crotch as if they are invisible and making comments not even bothered by the fact I have noticed what they are doing. This really pisses me off and it has been going on for almost a year and now I am the point of losing my temper and hurling a barbell at them or worse. I find it very disrespectful and even gay Thai friends of mine have said this is unacceptable behaviour. I would never stand next to a girl and stare relentlessly at her while she is trying to workout and I feel very disrespected when this happens. I know in my home country gay people are very aware that they should not disrespect a straight man in this way. I wonder how straight Thai men deal with this sleazy and disrespectful behaviour?

Does anyone else get the same? how to you deal with it? I know its easy to say just ignore it and I agree thats the best option but I have been doing that for the last year and I feel that they should not be disrespecting me like this. I can speak some basic Thai, enough to say "stop staring I am not gay" or "what the hel_l are you staring at this is not patpong soi 4". Other than that I am not sure what to do apart from punching one of them to get the point across which I would rather avoid.

Edited November 4, 2009 by Vigilante

[JimmyTheMook]

I lay a really loud stinky fart right next to them , works every time for me

[EvilDrSomkid]

That sucks, man. Have you tried: Mong ha alai wa?

Or *snigger* complain to management?

[Ulysses G.]

You should yell out, "Hey, all of you quit looking at my d**k" real loud. That should stop it.

[PeaceBlondie]

Just ignore it.

[pattaya_girl]

Drop a stink bomb at your feet, they will probably go off you and never look again when they smell it.

[PhilHarries]

I thought that's whay all men went to gyms, to be admired by other men.

Don't deny it, enjoy it.

[sbk]

Gosh, vigilante, welcome to the club. I've had guys talking to my chest instead of my face since I was about 13. Honestly, you get used to it. And then, there will come a day, when you are a wrinkly old fart, and you will relish the memories of when you were so hot the gay men couldn't keep their eyes off you

[sceadugenga]

Gosh, vigilante, welcome to the club. I've had guys talking to my chest instead of my face since I was about 13. Honestly, you get used to it. And then, there will come a day, when you are a wrinkly old fart, and you will relish the memories of when you were so hot the gay men couldn't keep their eyes off you

He will?

[TomBombadil]

maybe it's the changing room of a gay bar and someone has sold you a year ticket for a gym.

[robblok]

I go to the gym a lot too, i have never had that problem. Maybe i just dont pay attention to it and workout hard.

[nputman]

I lay a really loud stinky fart right next to them , works every time for me

Ahhhh never heard of Pharamone's? Farting may get you even more unwarrented attension

[soundman]

I lay a really loud stinky fart right next to them , works every time for me

Ahhhh never heard of Pharamone's? Farting may get you even more unwarrented attension

The bacon & cheese variety works a treat. Your admirer's will be drooling as well as staring.

[JimmyTheMook]

I lay a really loud stinky fart right next to them , works every time for me

Ahhhh never heard of Pharamone's? Farting may get you even more unwarrented attension

Not after a meal of my now favorite Korean "B B Bap" - I can clear out a room and make dogs howl.

[Max2000]

Had the same problem so I asked nice - why?

The reply was, you look like very clean man, short hair, well dressed (outside the gym though). So for the locals that was their reason for think I might be gay or bi.

My missus laughed so much, and told me to grow my hair longer, and only change shirt every 2 days.

It's a lose - lose situation. Only option left is A: change Gym or B: learn to ignore it.

(so hard to be a handsome man)(In my dreams).

Now with longer hair and wearing 3 days old shirts.

[geriatrickid]

Don't flatter yourself. Are you sure they are really admiring your rippled physique or just gawking much as people are apt to do when someone has a disfigurement? Try wearing underwear under your shorts........

I thought a girl was really into me, but it turned out, she was just concerned I would put my back out doing squats. I was sort of embarrassed, when she came over and took the free weights from me to demonstrate technique. She told me chubby folks had to be careful.

I have found that the folks that assume they are the objects of sexual desires, live in lululand and that no one really wants their bodies. Boys that cruise gyms stick to gyms where there are like minded folks and they move on quick when there is no interest shown. If you have already sent out the message you were not interested, then I would be surprised that the person would still be hitting on you. Gaydar is reportedly reliable nowadays.

Does your gym have so many members that all they do is hit on you? If it's 1 or 2 guys, then simply drop a few hints like, I may have to curtail my workout today because my girlfriend is meeting me for a weekend of boom boom, or, maybe not gush about the new Jonas Brothers album. If you are feeling very manly, tell them you are not gay. Brace yourself for a puzzled stare because the person will probably not be gay either and is just staring at the gigantic boil on your back or the icky tat, or amazed that a guy would wear a certain outfit to the gym.

You are a big boy now and you should be able to handle this without being a drama queen. If you are still feeling threatened bring a girlfriend next time. Workout with her, assuming of course there is a lady in your life.

[Ulysses G.]

Gosh, vigilante, welcome to the club. I've had guys talking to my chest instead of my face since I was about 13. Honestly, you get used to it. And then, there will come a day, when you are a wrinkly old fart, and you will relish the memories of when you were so hot the gay men couldn't keep their eyes off you

He will?

Only if they talk him into it somehow.

[Rumfoord]

i am confused, isn't that exactly the reasons why men go to the gym? to met others gays? everybody knows that.

what topic comes next?: I went to Thailand, but its full of Asians and non of them knows how to make a proper burrito?

[PeaceBlondie]

If they grab your gonads, just say no.

[Huey]

LoL, bahh, don't let it really get you angry inside. Whats that one the Thais say... "Na muan, Pau MUNG, loh?" I may have butchered it but it means "Dose my face look like your father?" I usually say that when I am getting stared at followed by "Da F' you looking at?" That usualy cuts it out fast. But really at the end of the day, the "dose my face look like your dad" comment should be enough to say first. Because even though it is pretty disgusting the idea of swinging that way if your not gay, they are actually complementing you in a way.

So I would be direct but non violent about it first, then Ghetto about it if direct and non-violence failed.

[siamamerican]

I thought that's whay all men went to gyms, to be admired by other men.

Don't deny it, enjoy it.

crap, I'm gay and just realized.

[ozzieovaseas]

Maybe you could tell them its only a dill pickle in your pants as you are on steroids and very prone to roid rage..

that should do the trick!

[Jingthing]

You might try telling them you are roy percent bottom ...

BTW, I think you have been reasonably tolerant and understanding that this is just an annoying subset of gay men doing this. One point I would like to make, in the homophobic Anglo countries looking at a guy in the eye the wrong way can get you beaten up or much worse. Thailand is thankfully different that way. As a gay man I can smile at Thai men (not Australians ...) to my heart's content without any fear of violence. This is a good thing.

Edited November 4, 2009 by Jingthing

[eek]

Just ignore it.

Thats all you have to do. The only thing you should be getting worked up about is your workout.

Women have been dealing with much worse since puberty

[alyx]

Do as the Thai do:

Sometimes I notice someone I like (not in the Gym but in a club or a bar)

Of course I start staring: what happens then? Two scenarios

1) It works then ...you know

2) It works then....the unthinkable happens, the person I like approches me and starts talking to me.

After a couple of minutes it is clear that my approach, or any other approach for that matter, wont take me anywhere

I have learned my lesson and we part good friends (I am very much capable of understanding that I am not to the taste of everyone)

So go up to them, make friends with them and let them know you are not interested, your bf works at the Gym etc....

What puzzles me, is the fact that it has been going on for a year by the same people

Usually, unless one is infatuated (that would not apply to a group), the interest reaches zero after a week or so

[alyx]

I should have added

"starts talking to me" in a very friendly way

[Ijustwannateach]

Ah, yes, it's time for our semi-annual 'brave straight men threatened by the (self-assumed) admiration of (self-assumed) gay men in the gym' thread, otherwise known as the 'I'm flattering myself indirectly' thread. And it includes the inevitable protestations of not being homophobic, while at the same time implying that violence is a likely choice of behaviours (and that the brave straight man will naturally win such a conflict).

Gosh, how terrible it must be to have gay men gawking at you! Almost as bad as it is for women when unwelcome straight men are giving them the ol' eye, eh? Isn't it simply a trauma when straight privilege doesn't work in your favour? Lord, I feel faint.

Of course, that assumes that the men looking at you are in fact, gay. Thailand is not as homophobic as most other places and you may be assuming quite the wrong things. Perhaps they're laughing at a stain on your underwear or that inconvenient hole you haven't noticed? There's also a certain curiousity by straight men in many Asian countries about what white guys 'look like down there,' just as straight white men (if they were honest) would admit they have some curiousity about that in the other direction, too.

Furthermore, it assumes the men are actually looking at you. Your post sounds more than slightly, well, paranoid- considering that you are implying violence against strangers who haven't harmed you and really have done nothing more than look at you (if you are even right about that). Perhaps Thailand isn't the sort of country you should live in - it's certainly not the sort of country where the 'You looking at me?' attitude will help you live long.

Aw heck, don't listen to me. Go out there swinging, please- you deserve it, you brave straight man!

[skippybangkok]

I would like to start off by stating that I am saying I am not homophobic or have anger management issues.

............"stop staring I am not gay" or "what the hel_l are you staring at this is not patpong soi 4". Other than that I am not sure what to do apart from punching one of them to get the point across which I would rather avoid.

Posted the same comment many years back, and was assured by the extremist elements of the fraternity that it was my own subliminal desires surfacing, as that would never ever happen. You must of lead them on, or so they say !!

Not a basher, have some gay friends /aquaintences, but i can understand how you feel. Best way to describe would be for a male getting changed in a womans dressing room, and hitting on them as they get changed. A woman would rightly be very upset, so why not a guy?

Disgusting.

Edited November 4, 2009 by skippybangkok

[mahtin]

If you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen.

[Ijustwannateach]

Btw, the thread has already led to one warning and I will be watching it very closely.