NALAK Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 her house but you paying for it. stop paying for her house for few months if she still wants get married fair enough. as for assets you will have extra 400,000 baht. as for my experience no difference since we got married although as she often reminds me i can never marry again without she signs paper. boring name or not its what mum and dad gave you be proud of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steps Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Some advice and experience from an expert http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1GjyrQiSRs skip the first 40 seconds http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSwG9Tojg9I...feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZPcjuKsis4...feature=related Great advice form VillageFarang BTW. That means iv'e got 15 years left Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 I got where you were coming from, villagefarang, until I hit: If you are not ready, however, don't do it. My suggestion is to play into your mid-forties and then marry someone at least twenty years younger. Personally i cant really imagine being with someone 20+ years older than me. I also think a guy in his mid 40's would have more in common with someone 10 years younger than a 20something. I realise large age differences can work, but not usually as well as closer in ages does. Also, i see your point about men likely being treated differently if married (and their wives), but again, i think (even in Thailand) a very large age difference will raise eyebrows. Which doesnt really matter, if the couple are happy and can let it be water off a ducks back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjclark1 Posted November 12, 2009 Author Share Posted November 12, 2009 If you are not ready, however, don't do it. My suggestion is to play into your mid-forties and then marry someone at least twenty years younger. I'm mid 50s and she is mid 30s. As she is not the youngest daughter, no responsibilities to the family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villagefarang Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 I got where you were coming from, villagefarang, until I hit:If you are not ready, however, don't do it. My suggestion is to play into your mid-forties and then marry someone at least twenty years younger. Personally i cant really imagine being with someone 20+ years older than me. I also think a guy in his mid 40's would have more in common with someone 10 years younger than a 20something. I realise large age differences can work, but not usually as well as closer in ages does. I'm particularly immature, so the age difference is hardly noticeable. You may think I have more in common with my wife's mother but my wife and I disagree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villagefarang Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 If you are not ready, however, don't do it. My suggestion is to play into your mid-forties and then marry someone at least twenty years younger. I'm mid 50s and she is mid 30s. As she is not the youngest daughter, no responsibilities to the family. I'm guessing this might not be your first time around the block, so you may not be ready yet. If you are in recovery it may take longer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanook2me Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Yup, good job you found this website....TV members, they're a bunch of arrogant, pompous, emotionally-weird, stuck-up megalomaniacs. Do you really think you're going to fit in with them? What am I saying? Sweaty krap! Excuse me mate, if you took the time to get off your soap box and read my first line in my post (the first reply to the OP), I think you will find some pretty practical advice for him. Ah but don't bother taking time to read what is written while coming up with your insults...spoils the fun and creative process. Sentence stolen from Red Dwarf and was funny when i saw it...obviously not when i typed it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 So are there any downsides to getting married to a Thai lady? My wife can crack out some of the most noxious spice induced farts in her sleep. (But on the other hand apparently mine aren't exactly the latest fragrance from Giorgio Armani either) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mossfinn Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 I was more looking for legal and financial implications of marriage in Thailand.Rather than relationship advice. I'm thinking that as the only asset is hers, the house, then come the worst no loss to me (except emotionally and I can live with that). If you are only looking for financial implications, it might have been best to mention it, but then you wouldn't have got the usual responses from the usual suspects. As you have no assets to start with, then you have nothing to lose 'financially' at this stage', I am amazed the old TV adage of ' of don't invest anything in Thailand that you are not prepared to walk away from', has not been trotted out already. I believe the general rule of thumb is: whatever you owned before marriage belongs to that particular person, anything that is gained after goes 50/50, in reality particularly if certain assets are in the home village, don't count on it. Pre-nups, I believe are binding, but as she has the only asset I would suggest arranging one If you can provide evidence that you are contributing toward the mortgage, you may have a claim afterward, but as I cannot assure you that any of this post is correct, I suggest you read through the previous comments again, some valuable nuggets there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rayong09 Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 The downside to marrying a Thai lady or any lady is never being able to make a decision for yourself without having to defend or explain it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nisakiman Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 For more counseling and advice concerning matters of the heart+brain, please visit my website at:www.cash4advice.co.th.ru.mad Yes, jollly dee, need some advice concerning matters of the heart but google couldn't find it. I've got lots of cash, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 I was more looking for legal and financial implications of marriage in Thailand.Rather than relationship advice. I'm thinking that as the only asset is hers, the house, then come the worst no loss to me (except emotionally and I can live with that). I certainly don't have a 'good one' that would be incredibly dull and boring. I've got the naughtiest one you could possibly imagine (lots of fun) As I've said many times on similar subjects. Never invest any more than you can walk away from with few regrets. Enjoy life to the fullest and don't take anything or anyone for granted. That is about all you can do. The simpler you keep life the more enjoyable it becomes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyww Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Its no different to buying a used car. A Thai woman would be the Ferrari and Western woman a Ford. The Ferrari would be better looking, great performance and handling. But they would take more looking-after than the Ford and probably more temperemental and sometimes challenging to control when on the limit. Its essential to get one with full service history otherwise certain issues could end up being very expensive. Unless well looked-after they might become unreliable and would certainly cost more in general maintenance. The Ford would be a less atractive model and generally larger and slower. But probably more reliable and not as likely to let you down. Also cheaper to keep going and can continue to run with very little attention. Some of the larger models can consume rather a lot of fuel though, maybe even more than the Ferrari. If you want years of trouble-free but rather dull service, then the Ford is the way to go. For more excitement and a more rewarding experience, go for the Ferrari but prepared to accept the drawbacks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villagefarang Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 One Ferrari to go please. With a side order of Ducati for the weekends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballzafire Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 I was more looking for legal and financial implications of marriage in Thailand. Rather than relationship advice. I'm thinking that as the only asset is hers, the house, then come the worst no loss to me (except emotionally and I can live with that). I certainly don't have a 'good one' that would be incredibly dull and boring. I've got the naughtiest one you could possibly imagine (lots of fun) As I've said many times on similar subjects. Never invest any more than you can walk away from with few regrets. Enjoy life to the fullest and don't take anything or anyone for granted. That is about all you can do. The simpler you keep life the more enjoyable it becomes. Hear, hear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassienie Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) This is a stupid thread. How can anyone else know how the OP feels about his present girlfriend? He’s the one that’s living with it, so does he expect some magic answer or something. Who knows and who cares, each individual has to make they’re own decisions and in any case the OP won`t believe of take heed of what anyone says. My answer is; that the OP doesn’t seem all that financially secure in Thailand, so the odds are that this marriage is doomed to failure anyway. Edited November 13, 2009 by sassienie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjclark1 Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 Its no different to buying a used car.............If you want years of trouble-free but rather dull service, then the Ford is the way to go. For more excitement and a more rewarding experience, go for the Ferrari but prepared to accept the drawbacks. My last Ford took 1/2 million pounds with it when it left Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballzafire Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 This is a stupid thread. How can anyone else know how the OP feels about his present girlfriend? He's the one that's living with it, so does he expect some magic answer or something. Who knows and who cares, each individual has to make they're own decisions and in any case the OP won`t believe of take heed of what anyone says. My answer is; that the OP doesn't seem all that financially secure in Thailand, so the odds are that this marriage is doomed to failure anyway. I agree... that once the lame car analogies start to appear that the usefulness of this thread is doomed to failure anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Marriage is an institution. Who in their right mind wants to live in an institution? last monday i was institutionalised 30 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzaa09 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 The downside getting married; is getting married . My advice is to just have fun as long as you can and get married as late as possible. Don't forget the baggage that comes with the Thai girlfriend after she becomes a wife Baggage? Whatever might you mean...?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballzafire Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 The downside getting married; is getting married . My advice is to just have fun as long as you can and get married as late as possible. Don't forget the baggage that comes with the Thai girlfriend after she becomes a wife Baggage? Whatever might you mean...?? I think he means the MiL... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedog100 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Don't listen to any of us. We all have different opinions. We all have different experiences. Most of us have an Ex somewhere. Many of us are still bitter. Sit yourself down and make a list of pro's and con's. Keep the list for a few days, and add to it what you think of. I did this once for a woman I was living with. Only it was to stay or leave. I listed her pro's and con's. When I was done I had about 25 things listed on the con's, and one thing in the pro. I looked at the list for several days before I relized there was getting nothing from the relationship. It was all there in black and white. I only stayed with her because I didn't want to be alone, and didn't know anyone that could take her place. After I left my life improved 100% I didn't have to replace her, everyone I dated was way better. I upgraded. I should have listened to myself years before that. Make your list, take a few days to let it sink in, and to make additions, and corrections. Then act on what you have written down. That is how you really feel. Believe in your own experience and judgment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mahtin Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Just do the Buddhist ceremony, it's not legally binding but will probably satisfy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdman Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 IF she is the right one, you never will have another one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetjock Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 The downside of marrying a Thai woman is the same as the downside of marrying any woman. A bad choice eventually leads to a lot of regrets and a miserable life and a good choice usually leads to a happy life. I was married to an American woman for 30 years and have now been married to a Thai woman for 4 years. Both were great choices so I have been living a very happy life that I would not ever be willing trade for my swinging single days. The big difference between the two is that my Thai wife turned out to be an absolute angel and so much more than I could have ever hoped for that now I feel like I have found paradise here on earth. Good luck on finding the right one for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huey Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Hey Marriage can be really great! However so can living together. It sounds like your getting the cookie for free so why by the bakery? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSingh Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Hey Marriage can be really great! However so can living together. It sounds like your getting the cookie for free so why by the bakery? To sell the Cookie to make $$ ?? Not the greatest of examples there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bifftastic Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Don't listen to any of us. We all have different opinions. We all have different experiences. Most of us have an Ex somewhere. Many of us are still bitter. Sit yourself down and make a list of pro's and con's. Keep the list for a few days, and add to it what you think of. I did this once for a woman I was living with. Only it was to stay or leave. I listed her pro's and con's. When I was done I had about 25 things listed on the con's, and one thing in the pro. I looked at the list for several days before I relized there was getting nothing from the relationship. It was all there in black and white. I only stayed with her because I didn't want to be alone, and didn't know anyone that could take her place. After I left my life improved 100% I didn't have to replace her, everyone I dated was way better. I upgraded. I should have listened to myself years before that.Make your list, take a few days to let it sink in, and to make additions, and corrections. Then act on what you have written down. That is how you really feel. Believe in your own experience and judgment. If you do the list thing....and you decide she's the one for you..... DON'T LET HER FIND THE LIST!!!! DON'T TELL HER ABOUT THE LIST!!!! BURN THE LIST!!!! NEVER MENTION/THINK ABOUT THE LIST EVER AGAIN!!!! If she finds the list before you've made your mind up, crying 'but honey the list was good! There were hardly any cons!' probably won't help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huey Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Sure it is MSingh, if she wanted to sell the cookie she could probably do it without a husband Heck allot of them find their husband WHILE selling cookies....kinda like girl scouts, but not quite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BusyB Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) OP: I never say never but … I can’t for the life of me imagine ever giving anyone the kind of legal leverage over my fate and fortune that a marriage gives two parties (nor do I need or want that kinda leverage myself). Before anyone jumps to conclusions, I’m not burnt and bitter. Quite the opposite. I only regret 2 women in my entire 53 years (out of many great relationships big and small, long and short), and I should have known better in both cases. I was married once (young) and the divorce was absolutely amicable (also young!). I’ve had one nice relationship in Thailand that lasted two years which I finished. I have no axes to grind there either. If you do it I hope it works out and you enjoy it. But even then you are making your self a hostage to fortune. It’s always a gamble. I’ve seen so many people wrecked and ruined by divorce. I don’t even know who I’llbe in 10 or 20 years, never mind who my woman’ll be then! People change.Often for the worst. And Thailand is a minefield for that kinda thing, even without the cultural baggage. Edited November 13, 2009 by BusyB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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