Passport Confiscated At American Embassy

[mizzi39]

I did not flee the U.S to avoid child-support.

I was stationed in Thailand 36 years-ago when I

was in the Air Force. I went to court ($!) to get the

amount "adjusted" to my retirement level

but the judge refused. My wife committed perjury

and succeeded in getting a restraining order so

I was stuck with a 200% payment amount,

prohibited from going near my own home, and

only rarely able to visit my children.

...

All that you say may be true, but on this forum we only know your side of the argument.

Which is very true OP. Posters are only giving their opinion based on your OP.

Your issue became a federal issue when you decided to leave the country and at some point stopped paying your child support. In most cases child support law is left up to the state that you reside in, however your case is obviously different. Once you cross state lines or leave the country it becomes a federal issue, so the feds just caught up with you. Go home get an attorney and sort it out.

I am all for protecting my rights under the Constitution and do not want any "group" whether public or private infringing on them. With children it is different. Child support laws are set up to protect the financial welfare of your child, not the arbitrary bull <deleted> between you and you EX.

[manarak]

The amount set by the judge is only 900 USD a month if I followed the thread correctly? For 2 kids?

This is a very low amount, and I am not sure the judge is even capable of setting a lower amount.

In my country, I think the minimum for one child is something like 1200 USD, so that would be 2400 USD per month for 2 children.

A colleague of mine has 3 children and is forced to pay over 6000 USD per month to his ex-b*tchwh*re, netting him with less than 1000 USD monthly for his own needs (accomodation, food...).

And yes, you are supposed to sell all your belongings to cover the payments.

Nobody ever says that the wife should also make some efforts to save the marriage/household.

When paying for the children, one automatically also pays for the wife, since accomodation for the children is included in the payments, and since she lives in the same apartment...

To those who have no sympathy for this guy, I would suggest to wait until you are in a similar situation, especially if you face a decline in revenues after you've lost your job, and the courts expect you to sell your house.

There should be limits as to how much a husband or father can be stripped of, for example 50% of his wealth and income.

My 2 cents.

For those who wonder how PC can be fascist:

"Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victim may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated, but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." C. S. Lewis

Edited November 20, 2009 by manarak

[MrRichard2009]

That's true but the Judge knew his income ... which according to him in other posts would include investment income even though he tries to make it sound like he lives on only 450 per month on this thread ...... so hes not being entirely honest in my opinion. The Judge sets the amount based on all income not just a pension, and like a lot of people who don't want to pay he decided the judge was wrong and he wasn't going to pay it. And like all those others eventually their are concequences. My main point has been all along that he should have solved it long before it got to this. He will have to petition the court again or appeal the decision now just the same as back then, the difference is they will not retroactivly reduce what he already owes, so he screwed himself by not exausting his legal remedies before coming here. So he is going to have to do what he should have done anyhow it will just cost more in the end. But I totally agree their is always a lot more to the story.

[Curt1591]

... she and her lawyer got the judge to base the child-support on my full-time salary, so it is 200% of my retirement pension....

This is the OP again -

My pension is $900 a month.

She gets $450 and I get $450.

We have 2 tenage kids.

NEW MATH?

[MrRichard2009]

As far as having no sympathy .... your right I guess, I suppose most people like to think they were smart or made good decisions as far as having kids and choosing their wife, but it could go his way in the blink of en eye I suppose. I don't think I have ever heard of anyone saying they felt the child or alimony payments were fair. And as a casual observer I tend to agree with them ..... which is why I tried to make good decisions and not be in that situation. I do feel sorry for you OP, just wish you had done more for yourself sooner is all. I suspect it will all work out in the end. Lets hope his kids are 17 not 13 for his sake.

[chuckd]

This is the OP again -

My pension is $900 a month.

She gets $450 and I get $450.

We have 2 tenage kids.

As a retiree from the US Military, you should have been aware of The Uniformed Services Former Spouse's Protection Act (USFSPA), US Code, Title 10, Section 1408, which entitles your divorced spouse for up to 50% of your retirement pay upon issuance of a court decree.

If my memory serves me correctly, this bill was sponsored in the US Senate by Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA) and Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA). I'm doing this one using what few memory cells I have remaining, therefore I do not guarantee the accuracy of the sponsors of the legislation.

[ccarbaugh]

There is/are NO investments.

(I don't where that started- came from?)

Yes, I live on $450 a month and it is not easy.

The judge based the child-support on my full-time

salary as a schoolteacher at $1500 a month. So,

even though she gets half of my pension, $450,

I still go in arrears $1,000 per month. At the

last hearing, (Feb,09,) the lawyer I paid did

absolutely nothing, the judge didn't listen to

a word I said and gave her everything- the house,

the kids, the car, and kept the child-support at

the level of my (working) salary which I hadn't had

for 8 months already.

Just for the record- although technically irrelevent,

is the fact that during our 16 years of marriage, she never worked,

and ended up screwing one or more of her drinking buddies.

I was working full-time as a schoolteacher, and

raising the kids and taking care of the household while

she was out "socializing." I agree that I was thoroughly

duped by her and I am paying the price for that- but,

allowing her to use the kids to have me support her

is not something I'm willing to do. I'll go to jail first.

[flying]

Sorry & it seems your only hope is to go back to court & have the future payments adjusted to reflect your current income.

Either that or in effect become a ward of the State yourself.

All that aside this whole passport question child support related or not really drives home the fact that none are truly free are we? If in the future as the US goes deeper & deeper into tax collection short falls due to the collapsing economy who knows what will be law.

Just makes me wonder..... The 20th anniversary of the collapse of the Berlin Wall.....There may be no wall in the US but there may be many possible ways to keep citizens tied in the future?

Edited November 20, 2009 by flying

[sassienie]

Hello,

I was wondering if anyone else has

had the unfortunate experience of

having their passport confiscated

at the American Embassy?

I went yesterday morning to get

a few additional pages inserted and

due to my former wife's unbridled greed,

(she and her lawyer got the judge to base

the child-support on my full-time salary, so

it is 200% of my retirement pension.)

I came up on their computer as delinquent

in child support payments so my passport

was confiscated. I am now wondering what,

if anything, I can do to get my passport back.

Thanks,

ccarbaugh

You`ve been rumbled ole chap.

I doubt if the American embassy could legally be able to have confiscated your passport unless there was a warrent out for you in the States.

There must be more serious issues involved in this case and it seems you tried to run off to Thailand.

So now you`re caught between a rock and a hard place.

[Boo]

I'm both amused AND disgusted at how many posters who either don't have kids or who aren't the full time care giver of their kids claim that "women"are living the high life on the child support payments they receive.

More likely just barely making ends meet & no social life. There may be some who got a good deal but most don't & those left with the kids sacrifice much more than those who leave.

I'd love to hear opinions after YOU are the ones sat at home night after night & dealing with each & every issue/problem that comes up in your kids lives while your ex wives travel to Thailand to go bar hopping or hook up with an new guy, possibly having more kids & then shirking their financial responsibility to the first kids. Gawd, the hypocrisy.

Oh & please remember, we only have the op's side of the story. I can be quite sure that his ex would have a totally different one. Somewhere in the middle might lie the truth.

[flying]

I'd love to hear opinions after YOU are the ones sat at home night after night & dealing with each & every issue/problem that comes up in your kids lives while your ex wives travel to Thailand to go bar hopping or hook up with an new guy, possibly having more kids & then shirking their financial responsibility to the first kids. Gawd, the hypocrisy.

Not to discount what you are suggesting but to give you a alternate view.......

About 20 years ago I got divorced when my 2 children were 5 & 9

My ex-wife had some drinking problems and a form of mid life crisis. She wanted to be young/younger again.

I had her sign off custody of the children to me as it was obvious they would not fit into her new chosen life style.

At the divorce hearing the judge was about to set child support when I said I did not want any.

The judge looked over his paper at me & said what?

He stated it was state law & I was entitled to it. I said she my ex... was a waitress & would barely be able to eek out a living as is

& while I was not rich by any means my income was better than hers & I would wave it. He said well ok but if you ever find yourself in need you can return.

I went through many hard years because being self employed I had pockets of no income & lived off of savings & mortgaged my home that I built & that I now had some equity in. But I felt it was my choice & lived with it. I am sure my ex was bar hoping as you suggest but I also figured in life at times a couple come together & decide to respectfully marry.

Just because as years go by & as happens sometimes folks grow apart & go in different directions it is no reason to not also part as you met....respectfully.

I have never regretted that choice.

Edited November 20, 2009 by flying

[Stricken]

They have by the balls on both ends now

[phetaroi]

...

The judge based the child-support on my full-time

salary as a schoolteacher at $1500 a month. So,

even though she gets half of my pension, $450,

I still go in arrears $1,000 per month.

At the last hearing, (Feb,09,) the lawyer I paid did

absolutely nothing, the judge didn't listen to

a word I said and gave her everything- the house,

the kids, the car, and kept the child-support at

the level of my (working) salary which I hadn't had

for 8 months already.

Just for the record- although technically irrelevent,

is the fact that during our 16 years of marriage, she never worked,

and ended up screwing one or more of her drinking buddies.

I was working full-time as a schoolteacher, and

raising the kids and taking care of the household while

she was out "socializing." I agree that I was thoroughly

duped by her and I am paying the price for that- but,

allowing her to use the kids to have me support her

is not something I'm willing to do. I'll go to jail first.

I would say in regard to this forum, stop digging your hole deeper.

First, you have a salary as a school teacher of only $1500 per month. Full time? In America? Definitely on the low end.

You keep mentioning that she gets half of your pension. What about money you are currently making? Or are you retired now? And if you are retired now, I think you need to resume working.

You keep mentioning that your lawyer did nothing. Perhaps there was nothing to do.

You continually try to sound as if you're a man of principle, well we shall see. I hope once you are back in the States that you follow through with the course of action you have outlined here and that you let us know if you actually did go to jail rather than pay.

[VivaLaFrance]

I'm both amused AND disgusted at how many posters who either don't have kids or who aren't the full time care giver of their kids claim that "women"are living the high life on the child support payments they receive.

More likely just barely making ends meet & no social life. There may be some who got a good deal but most don't & those left with the kids sacrifice much more than those who leave.

I'd love to hear opinions after YOU are the ones sat at home night after night & dealing with each & every issue/problem that comes up in your kids lives while your ex wives travel to Thailand to go bar hopping or hook up with an new guy, possibly having more kids & then shirking their financial responsibility to the first kids. Gawd, the hypocrisy.

Oh & please remember, we only have the op's side of the story. I can be quite sure that his ex would have a totally different one. Somewhere in the middle might lie the truth.

Nice attempt at pushing the blame on the fathers and claiming that most have it hard....are you kidding right?

Many women who "fall out of love" and "need to find themselves" no exactly what they are doing. They have found this new source of information from the over the hill, pub crawling at the weekend, divorced singles mums who think their 19 again circle of new friends.

They swap information and advice about how much they can screw their X out of money whilst someone half their age tells them they're the best looking thing he's ever seen, until the morning comes and the excuses are made once the alcohol has worn off, and the make up, of the has been, been around the block, more times then a Mark 1 Cortina, trollop laying next to him.

One women will squeeze every last penny out the X husband, not for the kids sake but for hers. Her new group of divorced women want the same, they scheme, plan and do absolutely anything and everything possible to screw him into the ground until his life feels worthless.

Sunbeds, nail extensions, hair extensions, beauty treatment and the latest designer top from the shopping mall is what clouds their selfish, self obsessed minds. The kids have new shoes, have new clothes for School, have all that they need but in the eyes of everyone else its not enough.

They wont stop until hes bought to his knees, pot-less and on the verge of homelessness. And then, and only then will the all time classic chestnut be announced to all and sundry....

Look at the state of him, that's why I left him.

This chestnut is only a cover to make their over inflated egos and selfishness get pushed away and hidden from the truth that manifests all around them.

Kids are and will always be number 1. But if the game is only one sided and the loosing party has their life ripped in half and spat to the ground whilst the other party do just that, and party, then unfortunately, the kids aren't being thought of at all from the newly made, single, lets all feel sorry for, and pity her, mum.

[joorakee]

Just for the record- although technically irrelevent,

is the fact that during our 16 years of marriage, she never worked,

and ended up screwing one or more of her drinking buddies.

I was working full-time as a schoolteacher, and

raising the kids and taking care of the household while

she was out "socializing."

If the whole story about the "Japanese golddigger" is true, I feel sympathy for you.

Don't give up!

Maybe you can count on a "small" compensation after all the hel_l is over.

[ccarbaugh]

Yes, VivaLaFrancfe and Ulysses understand the facts of the matter.

I would like to thank everyone for their comments and wisdom. It

has helped me to be able to "air" my personal "cry-in-your-beer"

sob story and learn that there are others that have experience/witnessed

similar tales-of-woe.

I am now working on the premise of "Do you want to be right or do you want to

be happy?"

I am choosing the latter.

Thank you all again,

OP

[jackr]

the judge didn't listen to a word I said and gave her everything- the house, the kids, the car...

Yep, <deleted> state of affairs what the West does to its men and you'll always get the typical feminist defending everything perpetrated against them. I think certain nations go a little over the top with their treatment of women, namely in the Middle East, but us lot have totally gone the other way and all the while putting up with a mediocre shag.

[mizzi39]

the judge didn't listen to a word I said and gave her everything- the house, the kids, the car...

Yep, <deleted> state of affairs what the West does to its men and you'll always get the typical feminist defending everything perpetrated against them. I think certain nations go a little over the top with their treatment of women, namely in the Middle East, but us lot have totally gone the other way and all the while putting up with a mediocre shag.

And the typical male chauvinist defending everything perpetrated against them!

[lopburi3]

OP posted this three years ago so would appear to have been a long term problem or there was more than one doing the running around.

.... it's O.K. - I'll wait until I can get some ciggies, a brew, and develop some meaningful, long-lasting relationships with a lot of NoKo babes ..... at a venue similar to "Soi Cowboy"

[medegen]

Deadbeat dads are all the same. I like how some of the other deadbeats on here jump in the boat with him lol! To the deadbeat dad op. So are you going to stay here without a passport or go back home to go to jail? Eventually you'll get caught here without the passport and end up in immigration jail. You have 2 choices. Thai Immigration jail or some random American jail. In court it will not look good for you at all hahah! Uh yes your honor i left my kids so i could go whoring in Thailand. What a douche. You get what you deserve. If i knew where you were right now i would report you to immigration for not having a passport.

[Ski_Goong]

I did not flee the U.S to avoid child-support.

I was stationed in Thailand 36 years-ago when I

was in the Air Force. I went to court ($$$$!) to get the

amount "adjusted" to my retirement level

but the judge refused. My wife committed perjury

and succeeded in getting a restraining order so

I was stuck with a 200% payment amount,

prohibited from going near my own home, and

only rarely able to visit my children.

JingJing and Ulysses are "square-on."

MrRichard isn't understanding the reality of the situation.

I too retired from the Air Force. Before coming here, I petitioned the courts to lower and child support/alimony amount. They reduced the alimony but left child support payment the same which made me very happy and pissed of my-ex. But I guess she will get the last laugh because she will continue to collect 35% of my retirement pay.

I am lucky in that I make a decent living in Thailand so I can afford to send my kids extra money. Maybe the OP can get a job to help supplement his income (even if it means teaching). Nothing against the English teachers here.....since I'm one.

[way2muchcoffee]

Deadbeat dads are all the same. I like how some of the other deadbeats on here jump in the boat with him lol! To the deadbeat dad op. So are you going to stay here without a passport or go back home to go to jail? Eventually you'll get caught here without the passport and end up in immigration jail. You have 2 choices. Thai Immigration jail or some random American jail. In court it will not look good for you at all hahah! Uh yes your honor i left my kids so i could go whoring in Thailand. What a douche. You get what you deserve. If i knew where you were right now i would report you to immigration for not having a passport.

I find it laughable that the OP is labeled 'deadbeat' here. He is, and has been, sending 50% of his monthly earnings home for years. There are no jobs to be had at home with upwards of 10% unemployment. He's reached the retirement age for teachers in his district in the US. Now he is just eeking by on 15,000 bt/month, while giving 15,000 to his family. With this paltry sum, survival is barely possible here in Thailand, but not at all possible in the US. I agree that he should look for work here to supplement his income, and send half of that home as well. Unfortunately he won't have this option for quite some time, now that his passport has been revoked. All of this assumes that the man is being completely honest about his situation.

Edited November 21, 2009 by way2muchcoffee

[mizzi39]

Deadbeat dads are all the same. I like how some of the other deadbeats on here jump in the boat with him lol! To the deadbeat dad op. So are you going to stay here without a passport or go back home to go to jail? Eventually you'll get caught here without the passport and end up in immigration jail. You have 2 choices. Thai Immigration jail or some random American jail. In court it will not look good for you at all hahah! Uh yes your honor i left my kids so i could go whoring in Thailand. What a douche. You get what you deserve. If i knew where you were right now i would report you to immigration for not having a passport.

I find it laughable that the OP is labeled 'deadbeat' here. He is, and has been, sending 50% of his monthly earnings home for years. There are no jobs to be had at home with upwards of 10% unemployment. He's reached the retirement age for teachers in his district in the US. Now he is just eeking by on 15,000 bt/month, while giving 15,000 to his family. With this paltry sum, survival is barely possible here in Thailand, but not at all possible in the US. I agree that he should look for work here to supplement his income, and send half of that home as well. Unfortunately he won't have this option for quite some time, now that his passport has been revoked. All of this assumes that the man is being completely honest about his situation.

The problem is that he has not been sending money home, so he has defaulted on his child support and this is why the

[Langsuan Man]

As my daddy told me a long time ago

The screwing you get; ain't worth the screwing you get

[GreenSnapper]

I know too many women who purposely had children in order to get money from a hard working man. I am not one of these poor fellows, but I can see how it would be difficult to support someone who just used you for a paycheck.

Exactly. One has to mention the biggest scam: about 10% of all births have another father than the one who is legally recognized as father.

This is one of the biggest scams in the western world, and the scamming mothers have nothing to fear. A wrongly claimed "father" pays 100,000-200,000 US$ in child support over the coming 20 years of so.

If the OP is indeed the real father, then he should pay his part. But not 200% of his income, as mentioned above. This would be modern slavery.

Edited November 21, 2009 by GreenSnapper

[bonobo]

This is the OP again -

My pension is $900 a month.

She gets $450 and I get $450.

We have 2 tenage kids.

As a retiree from the US Military, you should have been aware of The Uniformed Services Former Spouse's Protection Act (USFSPA), US Code, Title 10, Section 1408, which entitles your divorced spouse for up to 50% of your retirement pay upon issuance of a court decree.

If my memory serves me correctly, this bill was sponsored in the US Senate by Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA) and Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA). I'm doing this one using what few memory cells I have remaining, therefore I do not guarantee the accuracy of the sponsors of the legislation.

As the bill was passed in 1982 and both Senators were elected in 1992, it would have been difficult for them to sponsor the bill.  

The bill gives entitlement to former spouses, but not a guarantee to the pay.  I spent 15 years on active duty and 19 years as a reservist.  My first wife is in her 25th year of active duty now.  When we were divorced in 1995 after 11 years of marriage, the judge declined to allot retirement pay despite the issue being brought up by both lawyers.  At the time, my ex had planned on leaving the service, but she ended up staying in.  As it turns out, on a purely mathematical basis, I would be getting about $700 per month starting in 2011 and that would be reduced to about $400 per month in 2018 (due to her higher retirement pay based on her active duty when compared to my reserve duty). This doesn't really bother me. I think the lawyers were more interested n it than either my ex or I was.

So the bill allows judges to make sure former spouses are protected, but they are not obligated to award retirement pay if they so deem it not appropriate.

[submaniac]

I wish people would know a little bit about what they are talking about before making assumptions, calling names, and jumping on people who have legitimate problems. The child support system has gone out of control in the U.S.A. When I was a kid, no one cared about child support and my dad sent nothing or very little. The things started to change when the state started getting a cut of the payments. And yes, the government gets a portion. In California, each local district attorney's office has their own child support division whose purpose is to collect money that is owed, and they get to keep a portion of what is collected. So it is a money maker for the government.

The amount that is being awarded is not based on reality. These are figures which are arbitrarily set, and hard to change. And because the government gets a chunk, they are coming after you harder and harder. My brother owes $50,000 in back child support. It doesn't matter that he isn't employed, and already has two other kids with the woman that he is currently with and has been with for over 10 years. He don't pay, his driver's license is suspended. Interest adds up, and there's no way that he could legitimately pay it off--ever. But the state of California uses it as another form of taxation.

[bobbin]

I'm both amused AND disgusted at how many posters who either don't have kids or who aren't the full time care giver of their kids claim that "women"are living the high life on the child support payments they receive.

More likely just barely making ends meet & no social life. There may be some who got a good deal but most don't & those left with the kids sacrifice much more than those who leave.

I'd love to hear opinions after YOU are the ones sat at home night after night & dealing with each & every issue/problem that comes up in your kids lives while your ex wives travel to Thailand to go bar hopping or hook up with an new guy, possibly having more kids & then shirking their financial responsibility to the first kids. Gawd, the hypocrisy.

Oh & please remember, we only have the op's side of the story. I can be quite sure that his ex would have a totally different one. Somewhere in the middle might lie the truth.

Boo

Are you aware that 75% of divorces in the West are initiated by the woman?

The days of marrying the nubile secretary after ditching the wife are long gone.

[sbk]

personal attacks have been removed. Any further will NOT be tolerated. I do hope this is perfectly clear.

[Boo]

bobbin;

Are you aware that 75% of divorces in the West are initiated by the woman?

Have you ever thought about why?