Thai Man Seen Beating Young Thai Woman,

[dumbnewbie]

troll or no troll, I cannot tolerate hearing/seeing words or actions condoning violence against women

and in real life I will do whatever I can to intervene (of course with some thoughts for my own safety)

I'm with you, but is it only violence against women you're concerned about?

I hate all violence equally, whether against women, children or men. If anything, I would guess that violence against men is much worse than violence against women, often resulting in death. It's almost always a much stronger person (or bunch of people) attacking a much more vulnerable person. People don't like fair fights - they might get hurt. It's all horrific.

And in that, Western societies aren't much different from Thailand - there is far too much violence just about everywhere on earth. It never ceases to amaze me that societies everywhere censor all depiction of sex, even loving and consensual, but rarely censor even the most horrific violence. Indeed, they glorify violence, rarely showing the terrible and long-lasting consequences.

[carmine]

I related the Op's story to my wife (thai) up to the point of stopping and observing the beating and asked her to continue the story.

She said that she would have phoned 1300. A program started by the daughter of the prince, Pra Ong Pa, who has a master's degree in law, who take violence against women and children very seriously, and will react against any perpetrators with dire consequences. They in turn would take it up with the nearest police station and demand an investigation.

She also said that if a woman was molested and reported this to the police and their response was inappropriate or inadequate the name of the police officer was to be reported to this organisation for further action.

This scenario might just change the general attitude of the police if this is so.

This to my mind is by ar the most useful post on this thread and if Saiyan could expand on it with more information perhaps every participant to this thread could take note of the details and store them in their cell phone

[MSingh]

I too am sick to death with minding my own Business over things that are just plain wrong, it's not how i was brought up, i have morals & some of the stuff that goes on here goes against everything i was brought up to believe in & the " Thai Culture " excuse simply never has in the past & certainly doesn't cut it with me today & i no longer want to live in a Society like this so i'm doing something about it, slowly but surely..

You sound just like the old puritanical missionaries who traveled the world to impose their morals and beliefs on other people.

You have your own personal morals and codes of conduct and your own ideas of what is right and "plain wrong". Stop trying to be a missionary.

You can't change a thing in Thailand, so you have 2 options, ignore it or leave.

Why did you come here in the first place? Did you not expect that things would be different?

Do i, do i sound like one of those Missionaries do i ??

Well if you don't like it you'd better block me then because so long as i stay wihtin the rules of the Forum, i'll be saying whatever i want to Sweetheart.

I'm not sure of you're blind or stupid but as i said, i am plannign on leaving, using one of those options that you kindly set out for me..

Why did i come here ?? To & live on a Beach & run my Internet based Business, because i could/can.

Did i expect things to be any different ?? I didn't know how they'd be, i was 25 & had never been here, i had no pre conceptions of this place & culture..

You crack on believeing that things are ok in this Country & crack on thinking that Thailand is amazing, that' syour perogative, but don't dare try & say i'm wrong in what i'm saying, because i'm quite simply not...

[neverdie]

and in some countries it is even forbidden for parents to slap their children's butts to punish them.

slightly off topic I know, but what country is that?

one of the countries is Germany.

okay, thanks for that info manarak.

OP : Can anyone help my understand this before I pack my bags and head home?

If you honestly, honestly, honetsly feel that strongly about this situation & refuse to mind your own Business in the future if you see things like this happening here, then that really is your only choice...

I too am sick to death with minding my own Business over things that are just plain wrong, it's not how i was brought up, i have morals & some of the stuff that goes on here goes against everything i was brought up to believe in & the " Thai Culture " excuse simply never has in the past & certainly doesn't cut it with me today & i no longer want to live in a Society like this so i'm doing something about it, slowly but surely..

Hence my plotting my escape on a daily basis currently..

MSingh, Good on you for being honest and doing something about it. I can't believe how blind some people are to this sort of thing and you have obviously recognised that there are better places to be and are doing something about it. I hope you have more success in your next port of call. This place thailand amuses me, having said that I dont find this type of thing very amusing. Goodluck.

[carmine]

I too am sick to death with minding my own Business over things that are just plain wrong, it's not how i was brought up, i have morals & some of the stuff that goes on here goes against everything i was brought up to believe in & the " Thai Culture " excuse simply never has in the past & certainly doesn't cut it with me today & i no longer want to live in a Society like this so i'm doing something about it, slowly but surely..

You sound just like the old puritanical missionaries who traveled the world to impose their morals and beliefs on other people.

You have your own personal morals and codes of conduct and your own ideas of what is right and "plain wrong". Stop trying to be a missionary.

You can't change a thing in Thailand, so you have 2 options, ignore it or leave.

Why did you come here in the first place? Did you not expect that things would be different?

Gotta say tropo, with views such as yours (juvenile/mis guided) things will never improve in the place i have lived for so long and hold dear. You are way off the mark and need to wake up, lest you remain locked in delusion

[lordsux]

I was in a terrible predicament at 0400 this morning, I was woken by the harrowing screams of a female being severely beaten. This was going on I guess 2 floors above from where I live. Part of me wanted to go up and intervene, but the other part was telling me that this is Thailand and I'm a falang and I've been around long enough to know that falangs should not get involved in Thai domestics unless sure of having substancial backup.

So I sat smoking a cigarette while being forced to listen to the sounds of the blows, her spine chilling screams and the the eerie silence that followed. This poor girl did not just get a slap, it was a full on assault. I feel that I should have done something, I think that if it was my direct neighbors I would have somehow against better judgement intervened as I have done in a similar situation in the past. That neither security or the couples own neighbors did anything to stop this attack just goes to show how commonly accepted it is in Thailand for a Thai man to beat the living daylights out of his girlfriend/wife with little or no recourse. I just hope that the girls family teach that spineless git a lesson so that he can never lay a finger on her again.

[Valentine]

I related the Op's story to my wife (thai) up to the point of stopping and observing the beating and asked her to continue the story.

She said that she would have phoned 1300. A program started by the daughter of the prince, Pra Ong Pa, who has a master's degree in law, who take violence against women and children very seriously, and will react against any perpetrators with dire consequences. They in turn would take it up with the nearest police station and demand an investigation.

She also said that if a woman was molested and reported this to the police and their response was inappropriate or inadequate the name of the police officer was to be reported to this organisation for further action.

This scenario might just change the general attitude of the police if this is so.

This to my mind is by ar the most useful post on this thread and if Saiyan could expand on it with more information perhaps every participant to this thread could take note of the details and store them in their cell phone

I agree, this is great information I had never heard about before. If the general populace knew about & used (one thinks they would trust this service more than the police) it must surely help in changing the attitudes. By law & tradition the female population in Thailand get a fairly raw deal. Boys grow up believing in their superiority & that females are there to serve them. Do you notice at ATMs, when there is a couple together, it is always the female taking out the money.

I love the females here & believe they are the backbone of the country but remember, beneath that sweet, charming exterior, there can lie a vicious, nasty streak which can be brought to the surface on occasion.

[Saiyan]

I related the Op's story to my wife (thai) up to the point of stopping and observing the beating and asked her to continue the story.

She said that she would have phoned 1300. A program started by the daughter of the prince, Pra Ong Pa, who has a master's degree in law, who take violence against women and children very seriously, and will react against any perpetrators with dire consequences. They in turn would take it up with the nearest police station and demand an investigation.

She also said that if a woman was molested and reported this to the police and their response was inappropriate or inadequate the name of the police officer was to be reported to this organisation for further action.

This scenario might just change the general attitude of the police if this is so.

This to my mind is by ar the most useful post on this thread and if Saiyan could expand on it with more information perhaps every participant to this thread could take note of the details and store them in their cell phone

Tks Carmine,

Prehaps this site might have some info.

http://www.call1300.net/

[TaoNow]

Had an almost identical experience as lordsux two days ago in Phuket town.

Later that morning, I spoke to my 30 year-old landlady and asked her what she recommend I do if it happens again.

She said call 191.

[bellste]

and in some countries it is even forbidden for parents to slap their children's butts to punish them.

slightly off topic I know, but what country is that?

I know, that in Norway that is a crime. That is why the country is the way it is. You can do almost as you like. 30-40 burglaries, when you are convicted, you're likely to seep the pavements for about 20 hours, beacuse of bad upbringing, or some other silly excuse.

In the UK, I got a fine, for sweeping the public pavement outside my own house. Reason? I didn't have the necessary health and safety course, and protective gear (reflective coat etc), to carry out that sort of work. GBP 500 to pay. 

I am happy I emigrated from Europe 30 years ago. It's a place I will never miss.

Edited December 3, 2009 by bellste

[Saiyan]

http://www.call1300.net/

For the English version Google www.call1300.net and translate this page.

[clausewitz]

Scubabuddha - you done the right thing, and as another member rightly stated, the chances of the other person having a gun, been a copper or the mafia coming to his aid are non greater in Thailand than they are anywhere else. It's another of the stereotypical myths about Thai's.

Good lord I couldn't read beyond this point. You get your information from where? Inform yourself before you give advice that could harm or even kill others.

Just another case of 'But those things never happen to people like me'.

Thailand is only ranked 4th in the world for gun homicides. Lucky it takes time to get a license here, it would be higher if they were more readily available.

[clausewitz]

and in some countries it is even forbidden for parents to slap their children's butts to punish them.

slightly off topic I know, but what country is that?

Back on topic, the Thais have a saying: "Rak wua hai phuuk. Rak luuk hai dtii" (If you love your cow you should tether it. If you love your child you should beat it)

That should have the PC brigade positively foaming at the mouth.

Ha, they have some great sayings in Thailand (not that I agree with this one).

[tropo]

I too am sick to death with minding my own Business over things that are just plain wrong, it's not how i was brought up, i have morals & some of the stuff that goes on here goes against everything i was brought up to believe in & the " Thai Culture " excuse simply never has in the past & certainly doesn't cut it with me today & i no longer want to live in a Society like this so i'm doing something about it, slowly but surely..

You sound just like the old puritanical missionaries who traveled the world to impose their morals and beliefs on other people.

You have your own personal morals and codes of conduct and your own ideas of what is right and "plain wrong". Stop trying to be a missionary.

You can't change a thing in Thailand, so you have 2 options, ignore it or leave.

Why did you come here in the first place? Did you not expect that things would be different?

Gotta say tropo, with views such as yours (juvenile/mis guided) things will never improve in the place i have lived for so long and hold dear. You are way off the mark and need to wake up, lest you remain locked in delusion

You're the one way off the mark (naive/delusional). It's amazing you're been here for "so long" and don't realise that nothing you can do or say will change the way people do things in Thailand...and especially you as a foreigner who is seen as not much more than an intruder. Better be content to spectate and take your delusions elsewhere.

[tropo]

I too am sick to death with minding my own Business over things that are just plain wrong, it's not how i was brought up, i have morals & some of the stuff that goes on here goes against everything i was brought up to believe in & the " Thai Culture " excuse simply never has in the past & certainly doesn't cut it with me today & i no longer want to live in a Society like this so i'm doing something about it, slowly but surely..

You sound just like the old puritanical missionaries who traveled the world to impose their morals and beliefs on other people.

You have your own personal morals and codes of conduct and your own ideas of what is right and "plain wrong". Stop trying to be a missionary.

You can't change a thing in Thailand, so you have 2 options, ignore it or leave.

Why did you come here in the first place? Did you not expect that things would be different?

Do i, do i sound like one of those Missionaries do i ??

Well if you don't like it you'd better block me then because so long as i stay wihtin the rules of the Forum, i'll be saying whatever i want to Sweetheart.

I'm not sure of you're blind or stupid but as i said, i am plannign on leaving, using one of those options that you kindly set out for me..

Why did i come here ?? To & live on a Beach & run my Internet based Business, because i could/can.

Did i expect things to be any different ?? I didn't know how they'd be, i was 25 & had never been here, i had no pre conceptions of this place & culture..

You crack on believeing that things are ok in this Country & crack on thinking that Thailand is amazing, that' syour perogative, but don't dare try & say i'm wrong in what i'm saying, because i'm quite simply not...

Yes, you certainly do sound like one of the missionaries of old with: "It's just plain wrong"..."I have morals"...."It's against everything I was brought up to believe in"... and then this: "I no longer want to live in a Society like this so I'm doing something about it, slowly but surely"

That sounds exactly like a missionary at work.

When will you missionaries realise that right and wrong and morals vary depending on nationality and religion?

I won't be blocking you because you provide entertainment, so by all means continue your puritanical rant here.

I "crack on believing that things are ok in this Counry & crack on thinking that Thailand is amazing"?

Are you on crack? Where did I give you that impression? I take Thailand for what it is, warts and all. I have the option to leave at any time,,, Sweetheart.

The difference between us is that I will remain a spectator without the stress of being on a crusade to change things that I cannot change. Each to his own.

Edited December 3, 2009 by tropo

[t.s]

A superb lady that I know well, but not I hasten to add in the Biblical sense, was slapped around by her husband a few years ago. I forget what the altercation was about but it was something trivial. As I advise all the Thai ladies that I know, if your husband offers you violence run for the hills and never look back. I preach that if he does it once, he'll do it again, and that nobody should live in fear. We gave her temporary shelter until she sorted herself out but she elected to return to the marital home as they have a young daughter.

One year later he discovered that she had some gold and other jewellery that he had known nothing about. A customer at the restaurant where she works, a dedicated drinker and ne'er do well, had pursued her for some time and tried to cajole her into horizontal pursuits by giving her unsolicited presents. Unfortunately, and if I say typically for a Thai lady I will be lambasted, she accepted the presents but remained indifferent to his blandishments. Her husband did not believe her and broke her jaw and nose. She fled to her father's house in Udon Thani. He made several trips to try to woo her back and at last she relented. I assured her that if I had been her father he would have returned to Pattaya in a wheelchair.

Later that year she was a guest at my birthday party and, as if to display to all who attended that her marriage was intact and had survived the event, instead of coming along with mutual friends as usual, she arrived in the company of her husband. I refused him entry to my property and told him exactly why, adding that it was an occasion when I wanted to entertain and celebrate with my friends and that he certainly didn't enter into that category. He left, suitably chastened, but she only remained for half an hour or so before making her excuses and leaving. Discretion being the better part of valour I assumed.

Since that time I am pleased to say that her version of events is that they now live on Cloud 9. They have produced another child, bought a new house in one of the 'right' parts of town, and although I don't think that alcohol played a significant part in the previous violence, he has given up the booze entirely. Although not being accepted in polite society must have been a setback and loss of face, I give full credit to this wonderful lady for bringing about this sea change. If this is not the case then kudos may be due to her father who might well have laid out the painful consequences of any further untoward and totally unacceptable behaviour.

yes and he probably beat the crap out of her for the embarrassment he suffered at your hands. given your reaction i am not in the least surprised if her favorable accounts of he current situation are largely to prevent you from having enough information to humiliate her and her husband again.

what an uncomfortable position you put her in. unable to decide whether tto leave with her man or stay and placate you.

[tropo]

A superb lady that I know well, but not I hasten to add in the Biblical sense, was slapped around by her husband a few years ago. I forget what the altercation was about but it was something trivial. As I advise all the Thai ladies that I know, if your husband offers you violence run for the hills and never look back. I preach that if he does it once, he'll do it again, and that nobody should live in fear. We gave her temporary shelter until she sorted herself out but she elected to return to the marital home as they have a young daughter.

One year later he discovered that she had some gold and other jewellery that he had known nothing about. A customer at the restaurant where she works, a dedicated drinker and ne'er do well, had pursued her for some time and tried to cajole her into horizontal pursuits by giving her unsolicited presents. Unfortunately, and if I say typically for a Thai lady I will be lambasted, she accepted the presents but remained indifferent to his blandishments. Her husband did not believe her and broke her jaw and nose. She fled to her father's house in Udon Thani. He made several trips to try to woo her back and at last she relented. I assured her that if I had been her father he would have returned to Pattaya in a wheelchair.

Later that year she was a guest at my birthday party and, as if to display to all who attended that her marriage was intact and had survived the event, instead of coming along with mutual friends as usual, she arrived in the company of her husband. I refused him entry to my property and told him exactly why, adding that it was an occasion when I wanted to entertain and celebrate with my friends and that he certainly didn't enter into that category. He left, suitably chastened, but she only remained for half an hour or so before making her excuses and leaving. Discretion being the better part of valour I assumed.

Since that time I am pleased to say that her version of events is that they now live on Cloud 9. They have produced another child, bought a new house in one of the 'right' parts of town, and although I don't think that alcohol played a significant part in the previous violence, he has given up the booze entirely. Although not being accepted in polite society must have been a setback and loss of face, I give full credit to this wonderful lady for bringing about this sea change. If this is not the case then kudos may be due to her father who might well have laid out the painful consequences of any further untoward and totally unacceptable behaviour.

yes and he probably beat the crap out of her for the embarrassment he suffered at your hands. given your reaction i am not in the least surprised if her favorable accounts of he current situation are largely to prevent you from having enough information to humiliate her and her husband again.

what an uncomfortable position you put her in. unable to decide whether tto leave with her man or stay and placate you.

Yes, he probably beat her senseless after the party. What an incredibly stupid thing to do.

[neverdie]

Yes, he probably beat her senseless after the party. What an incredibly stupid thing to do.

Yes indeed, imagine staying with a man that constantly beats you up.

[tropo]

Yes, he probably beat her senseless after the party. What an incredibly stupid thing to do.

Yes indeed, imagine staying with a man that constantly beats you up.

They nearly always do...even where you come from. Stupidity, or are you missing something here?

[neverdie]

No doubt Im missing something as well. I had no doubt this is not isolated to thailand.

[Boo]

BTW, in western countries women also slap men. So this works the other way around too.

umm, so you've clearly never witnessed or heard of the exceptional level of violence committed by thai women against men in Thailand then. Domestic violence is a massive problem perpetrated by both men & women in LOS, not only in the west.

[carmine]

I too am sick to death with minding my own Business over things that are just plain wrong, it's not how i was brought up, i have morals & some of the stuff that goes on here goes against everything i was brought up to believe in & the " Thai Culture " excuse simply never has in the past & certainly doesn't cut it with me today & i no longer want to live in a Society like this so i'm doing something about it, slowly but surely..

You sound just like the old puritanical missionaries who traveled the world to impose their morals and beliefs on other people.

You have your own personal morals and codes of conduct and your own ideas of what is right and "plain wrong". Stop trying to be a missionary.

You can't change a thing in Thailand, so you have 2 options, ignore it or leave.

Why did you come here in the first place? Did you not expect that things would be different?

Gotta say tropo, with views such as yours (juvenile/mis guided) things will never improve in the place i have lived for so long and hold dear. You are way off the mark and need to wake up, lest you remain locked in delusion

You're the one way off the mark (naive/delusional). It's amazing you're been here for "so long" and don't realise that nothing you can do or say will change the way people do things in Thailand...and especially you as a foreigner who is seen as not much more than an intruder. Better be content to spectate and take your delusions elsewhere.

Absolute drivel. Sort your life out pussycat

[kensingto]

My piece of advice for you is stay out of the business and mind yours. This country is no business for farang! Your purpose is coming here for the girls. I don't think the victim need your hand and I guess your intention is a hero wannabe.

[tropo]

Absolute drivel. Sort your life out pussycat

You're the one specializing in drivel, or more precisely: total nonsense.

[koheesti]

Next time, drive past, turn around, get close enough to knock the crap out of the woman beater with your door as you pass and keep going.

I've never been a cop but I have watched the TV show "Cops" enough to know it doesn't pay getting involved in domestic disputes in your home country let alone someplace on the other side of the world.

[carmine]

Absolute drivel. Sort your life out pussycat

You're the one specializing in drivel, or more precisely: total nonsense.

I don't think you have the slightest grasp of what i have been saying. Probably better to stick to the 2010 Calender Topic

[endlessimage]

There again with the "Perhaps" and the "Maybe's" Because she is not screaming for help just let him go at her? You people make me sick. You're all cowards in my book. You do nothing to help a woman being beaten in public then you are as low as the man doing the beating. Perhaps he was trying to rob her and she was too scared to yell out. Perhaps she knew a further harder beating would ensue if she did. It is not "Thai culture" to beat your wife or gf in public, or private. It is simply wrong no matter where you are. You have been here so long you seem to have lost your moral objectivity.

Thank you to those who still give a shit about other people.

Touche' to the above quote. I get tired of the 'this is not your culture' line. So what? When is it right in any culture to beat on a female? I personally think all those who think it's "not my problem" are wimps. I hope you all sleep well each night (probably with the light on).

[hunglikea]

My sister in law has been beaten up by her husband for around the 3 time and each time we have taken her in and told her to leave him. She always goes back. Not because she wants to but because she has no money and nowhere else to go. She has a 6 y/o son who needs to attend school here in the town otherwise she could go back to her parents in their village .

I have told my wife I will do the same to him as he has to her, but both her and her mother tell me the police will arrest me instead of him! I think this is a load of cock and have given a 'warning' to him that next time he touches her i will 'touch' him the same way....sorry to say but i am looking forward to it.

[SiamWallaby]

How do you really know she didn't deserve it?

Im not going to say what should be done or what can be done, and what the outcome will be

everyone has different idea of how much they are willing to risk

but for anyone to suggest that a woman deserves to be beaten is just wrong.

no one deserves to be treated like that, regardless of what she has done.

if she really did something terrible, and a man takes it upon himself to beat her, then he is worse than her. and for a man who was not involved in the scene (hence she did nothing to him) to suggest it, is the lowest of all morality in my opinion.

its because of attitudes like this that so much violence against women continue on an everyday basis. I never thought Id have to encounter such a man personally.

Just to clarify, the post (I think) you are referring to was not saying she deserved it, but it may be the case that *she* felt she deserved it. An attempt to explain the seemingly illogical return of the victim to the situation.

Myself, although I've not been tested under fire since my last episode, have gone "Sir Galahad" three times, once in Australia, and twice in the USA. Each time the "victim" was asked if they needed help, and so I provided it. All three times the victim turned on me. And believe me I was not out to get revenge for her, simply calm the guy down. So now I swear I would never get involved in a domestic in farangland, let alone in Thailand.

Yes its sad, and goes against everything I've been taught. And actually I've not tested my resolve under fire and can't say if I'd be able to control my urge to help someone in need. But when emotion and adrenaline are not involved and I'm thinking clearly, its no contest. Some women will never change, and for others its a process, and they need to get to the point where they are willing to take a stand and leave. Either way, its not up to me to project my values onto them, and even trying to provide safety to a stranger who obviously needs it and even verbalizes it just ends up getting you medical bills you really don't need.

Just my two bobs

[elektrified]

That's a sad story but incidents like that happen all too often in Thailand. It really is best not to get involved in Thai/Thai domestic disputes or things could turn on you. Many of these guys are packing a piece or at the least, a blade. Also the police see it as a domestic dispute as well.