for the last week or so i have found myself getting very much into the festive spirit, while enjoying alcohol and the pleasures that it often leads to in abundance, i would have to say i have possibly neglected my diet.

Upon being woken this morning with multiple calls from my wife ( no doubt wondering why i had not gone home last night) i quickly offered my new found love her gratuity for the evening and made my way to the shower.

to make a long story short, whilst washing my nether regions to my horror i find that i have a painfull swollen lump protruding from my anus, it is approx the size of an orange segment.....after making numerous calls to friends they inform me that this is no doubt heameroids.

Any idea what is the best treatment in the short term to cure this? i understand there are creams, potions and things that go inside.

please let me know the best course of action please as i would hate to miss out on a good helping of xmas turkey this year

thanks

This definately belongs in health.

Nasty things piles

Having suffered from this for over 30 years and had injections, bands and tried all the creams the best thing was a product called anuice from the states. It is an ice cold applicator which stays cold a long time, cold is good for the pain and shrinks the pile. However, protrusions can also be polyps as I found out to my surprise last time I went to hospital for piles. Constipation makes things worse. I think anuice is still available on the web. The swelling will go down on it's on in a couple of weeks if you want to try a cream proctosedyl from boots in bkk is not bad, but none of the creams are really very affective

For a full explanation, just Google the words.....hemorrhoids wikipedia

I am not sure why the synopsis of your sex life first but anyhow...

to avoid constipation, eat stewed prunes after dinner , sold in Big C, Tesco Lotus, Tops etc. A bran cereal or oatmeal in the morning also a good idea.

In some cases surgical removal necessary.

Can these things just come up overnight without warning ? I always assumed it would be a slow process.

Fresh ripe papaya is also very good to lube the small intestine & colon. Fantastic natural laxative.

if it is big as the OP mentioned(orange), you MUST see a doctor for advice.

There are glands in the region that can become infected, and the infection can spread very quickly (because its mostly fat down there, and it spreads more quickly in that environment). Termed - Peri-rectal Abscess. Required surgery for me (and i was only 21!) Don't delay.

if it is big as the OP mentioned(orange), you MUST see a doctor for advice.

He said orange segment, not a whole orange.

And I'm assuming he means like a segment of a Thai orange (small tangerine sized things) not a Florida naval orange...

In which case not inconsistent with hemorrhoid esp as he uses the term "protrusion"

But indeed as Bangkokjazz said, peri-rectalk abscess could also be a possibility. Best to have someone take a look to be sure it is not.

...ups, i will consult the eye doctor...