david1 Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 For the last 8 months I have been sending a girl from Issan 15,000 Baht per month. I see her when I come over, have met the family, etc. We get along quite well. She works in a saloon in Kalisin and appears to be fairly leveled headed. 15,000 baht per month did not phase me when I was working in the states but in June I am moving to Thailand and will be on a fixed income. ( I am not necesarily retiring but sold some properties and decided to enjoy life while I am still young, 47 years old). Question is should I cut her off when I move to Thailand as I will be supporting her, or at least cut the monthly allowance down? If I cut it down, by how much then? I don't want to be bothered for money all the time so I am inclined to reduce the amount to 10,000 Baht per month. What are your thoughts? Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 I can't work out whether you are serious... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david1 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 I can't work out whether you are serious... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yes I am serious. I like the girl, we get along fairly well, etc.. I just want an outside opinion on the financial apects of this scenario. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkmadness Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 The financial aspects are you don't have to give her everything, there is no set price for monthly allowances. Since you'll be over here and supporting here anyway and she has a job, why not just not give here any extra at all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 (edited) Personally I find the suggestion of giving your GF "pocket money" a little offensive. Is this how you would deal with GF's in the US... I think not. Has she asked you to carry on paying her money when you are living together ? When I am in Thailand my wife takes care of all our finances. totster Edited April 25, 2005 by Totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david1 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 The financial aspects are you don't have to give her everything, there is no set price for monthly allowances. Since you'll be over here and supporting here anyway and she has a job, why not just not give here any extra at all? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Thanks for the input. Good point! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david1 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 Personally I find the suggestion of giving your GF "pocket money" a little offensive.Is this how you would deal with GF's in the US... I think not. Has she asked you to carry on paying her money when you are living together ? When I am in Thailand my wife takes care of all our finances. totster <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Good point!! You are right, I would not do this in the States. No she has not asked me to continue to give her money and may not. I am trying to get some thoughts on how to handle the situation should it arise. Thanks for your input. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkmadness Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 And if you do get away with not giving her a monthly allowance when you are here, me and Totster will be requiring 1000 baht a month each for our advisory services. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 And if you do get away with not giving her a monthly allowance when you are here, me and Totster will be requiring 1000 baht a month each for our advisory services. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Made payable to my wife.... totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david1 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 And if you do get away with not giving her a monthly allowance when you are here, me and Totster will be requiring 1000 baht a month each for our advisory services. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Spoken like a true capitalist!!!!!!!!!!! D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turok Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 David1: Rookie mistake sending these girls cash in hopes that they stay faithful to you. You treat her like yourchild when you give allowance. Is she over 18 yet? And, when you pull the allowance away, she be looking for a "new daddy." Such a rookie. Sorry that so many of you guys get caught into this isaan trap of sending these girls money. SO DARN PATHETIC. Talk about a real poor investment. Cant you just come to Thailand and play the field? WHy do you rush into making house with these girls? Turok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thetyim Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 David1, I think you may have problems if you try to reduce the allowance. Some of these girls look at things differently. At the moment she gets 15k for doing nothing. When you arrive she will have to look after you, she might want a raise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sua yai Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 When I first was with my gf - and I live here - I was giving her 8,000 a month. 4,000 went for her motorbike and bank repayments. Now, after 18 months together we're hopefully getting married. She's working in an Italian restaurant and I've cut the allowance down to the bare minimum of 4,000. This helps me to save more quickly for the wedding. I don't see anything wrong in this. If she wants to stop work after we're married, then I'll support her to the tune of 8,000 again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdenner Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 This is how it has been during my 4 years of harmonious marriage to a lady from Isaan and living up here for most of that time:- I give her an allowance (or lets call it ‘House Keeping’ money) of 15K Baht/month. Out of that she has to cloth her self and daughter, pay the daughters private education costs, utilities bills, her mobile phone, they pay into a private health fund and day to day food requirements. (I pay the Tesco Lotus shopping bill). She also pays costs associated with her Honda Wave. Anything that is left over and not given to the extended family goes into gold ---- what a surprise!! Occasionally she blows her budget and has to borrow from me, this is sorted by arrangement but she has never failed to pay back. From what I have learnt I don’t think there is any two farang doing exactly the same thing (in this district). I do know I am paying just about top money but then my wife hasn’t got her hand in my wallet every 5 minutes like others I’ve seen. How does this compare with you guys doing roughly the same thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 David1, You might want to find out who else she is supporting with your allowance before you make any decisions about changing anything. For example, I give my fiancee (soon to be wife) a monthly allowance of 15K THB a month too... and she is financing her younger brother's education at a BKK University (a law degree), and sends money home to her parents in Isaan. She also pays for the daily fruit, veggies, meat etc that we eat at home. She pays for the drinking water deliveries, the gas cylinder refills, her prepaid phone charge cards, her hair dressing, her magazines, her clothes etc. although I pay for the general utilities like electricity and water as well as the weekly shopping trip to the Tesco Lotus/Carrefour. If I didn't give her the allowance, her brother would not be able to afford his University education and her parents would not be as comfortable as they are now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragonman Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 Tried giving allowance per month to my wife but it doesn't work. I still ended up paying everything for us and her allowance went on supporting her family. Now just buy what's required for both of us, pay all the bills, and send the family 2000 baht a month. Totster. Yeah, and his girlfriend in the US would be earning $150 a month to keep herself and her family Turok. I get the impression you think all Isaan girls are rolling in money and just laying in wait for the next unsuspecting falang. Actually some are purely trying to better themselves, whilst having a duty to take care of the family.( there's actually no social security here you know) If any guy doesn't want to help then just play the field as you suggest. Some of us have been there, done it and keep the T-Shirt in a locked draw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 Actually some are purely trying to better themselves, whilst having a duty to take care of the family.( there's actually no social security here you know) Too true... and a lot of posters on TV either are ignorant of this or just want to flame. If any guy doesn't want to help then just play the field as you suggest. Some of us have been there, done it and keep the T-Shirt in a locked draw I think that if we were all perfectly honest we'd all admit to having a locked drawer somewhere! Good post! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary A Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 A lot of you guys apparently have no idea what it costs to live up country. I'd guess the vast majority of country people make LESS than 3,000 baht per month. To give a country girl 15,000 baht a month encourages the mooches to prey on her. I can assure you that it is a rare country girl that won't spend it all whether you give her 5,000 or 50,000 per month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 A lot of you guys apparently have no idea what it costs to live up country. I'd guess the vast majority of country people make LESS than 3,000 baht per month. To give a country girl 15,000 baht a month encourages the mooches to prey on her. I can assure you that it is a rare country girl that won't spend it all whether you give her 5,000 or 50,000 per month. If you are referring to me then I can assure you that I have lived up country and know exactly how much it costs to live there. In my posts I talked about improvement in quality of life for the family and providing an educational opportunity... not feeding the mooches. And for the record, my girl has also managed to save some money in the bank as well. Call her rare but she certainly does not fit into the category you portray. Rather than generalizing why don't you take the time to post specifics... after all that is what the OP requested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdnvic Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 David1:Rookie mistake sending these girls cash in hopes that they stay faithful to you. You treat her like yourchild when you give allowance. Is she over 18 yet? And, when you pull the allowance away, she be looking for a "new daddy." Such a rookie. Sorry that so many of you guys get caught into this isaan trap of sending these girls money. SO DARN PATHETIC. Talk about a real poor investment. Cant you just come to Thailand and play the field? WHy do you rush into making house with these girls? Turok Hmmmm... so darn bitter, so darn cynical, so darn sad. cv Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devildog683 Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 David1:Rookie mistake sending these girls cash in hopes that they stay faithful to you. You treat her like yourchild when you give allowance. Is she over 18 yet? And, when you pull the allowance away, she be looking for a "new daddy." Such a rookie. Sorry that so many of you guys get caught into this isaan trap of sending these girls money. SO DARN PATHETIC. Talk about a real poor investment. Cant you just come to Thailand and play the field? WHy do you rush into making house with these girls? Turok <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hmmmm... so darn bitter, so darn cynical, so darn sad. cv <{POST_SNAPBACK}> maybe one day turok will fill us in on how he came to be so negative towards thai women Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stumonster Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 maybe one day turok will fill us in on how he came to be so negative towards thai women Not sure I really give a toss. david. you will have to wait and see what the circumstances are and adjust accordingly. maybe you should ask her to keep a tally of how much she is spending on what now( everything - no matter how small ) and then you can have something to base your decisions on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 It's a tough one, to reduce her income now will surely result in some loss of face, She may assume you are tired or dissatisfied with her, maybe looking to replace her all together. Then again if she loves you it shouldn't be an issue, Good luck to you either way, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devildog683 Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 maybe one day turok will fill us in on how he came to be so negative towards thai women <{POST_SNAPBACK}> maybe you should ask her to keep a tally of how much she is spending on what now( everything - no matter how small ) and then you can have something to base your decisions on. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> this method works for me and my wife, wouldnt call it an allowance though, family support sounds better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdenner Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 A lot of you guys apparently have no idea what it costs to live up country. I'd guess the vast majority of country people make LESS than 3,000 baht per month. To give a country girl 15,000 baht a month encourages the mooches to prey on her. I can assure you that it is a rare country girl that won't spend it all whether you give her 5,000 or 50,000 per month. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> If you are referring to me then I can assure you that I have lived up country and know exactly how much it costs to live there. In my posts I talked about improvement in quality of life for the family and providing an educational opportunity... not feeding the mooches. And for the record, my girl has also managed to save some money in the bank as well. Call her rare but she certainly does not fit into the category you portray. Rather than generalizing why don't you take the time to post specifics... after all that is what the OP requested. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well said Jai Dee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 David1,I think you may have problems if you try to reduce the allowance. Some of these girls look at things differently. At the moment she gets 15k for doing nothing. When you arrive she will have to look after you, she might want a raise. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> 15k for doing nothing is a shItload more than she'd get for working 6 days per week for 4 weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 A lot of you guys apparently have no idea what it costs to live up country. I'd guess the vast majority of country people make LESS than 3,000 baht per month. To give a country girl 15,000 baht a month encourages the mooches to prey on her. I can assure you that it is a rare country girl that won't spend it all whether you give her 5,000 or 50,000 per month. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> In case this is directed at me... Until last week I lived in Kalasin ( where the OP is going ), so I would say I am in a good position to give advice. When I am away from Kalasin working in the UK I send my wife money every month.... the amount is not important, what is important though is that when I return to Kalasin she has ALWAYS saved two thirds of what I have sent her - she must be one of those rare country girls you are talking about. When I am staying in her village she takes care of all the money, I don't feel the need to give her pocket money and control her spending, she is actually better with money than I am, left to me I'd blow it stupidly. I think many of you should try and get out of the mindset where all Thai women blow money and will spend everything they get, it seems some of you like to control your wifes/GF's by giving them pocket money... well fine, treat them like they're stupid or children and they will most probably behave that way. totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dude Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 David1, you're a good man. I wouldn't listen to most of these posters laughing at you for giving here a measly 15k per mo. That is a pittance to you but really helps her and her family out a lot as these people are dirt poor. She will appreciate and it will pay off when you move here. I would not lower the 15k once you move here. Keep it fixed at that amount. You'll be getting a lot more bang for the baht after you move here. It's really funny to listen to these people cut down what you're doing when they go out and MARRY the girl. Now that would be a fatal error. Do not do that whatever you do. Giving her cash = no biggy. You got no ties like these posers. I like the one dude who has his wife do all the finances and says you're a moron for tossing your babe a monthly wage. These hosers are poverty packing fools unlike yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 I like the one dude who has his wife do all the finances and says you're a moron for tossing your babe a monthly wage. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hit it on the head... "Monthly Wage" for your GF Anway Dude, go and T R O L L somewhere else totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamdomChances Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 A lot of you guys apparently have no idea what it costs to live up country. I'd guess the vast majority of country people make LESS than 3,000 baht per month. To give a country girl 15,000 baht a month encourages the mooches to prey on her. I can assure you that it is a rare country girl that won't spend it all whether you give her 5,000 or 50,000 per month. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'd strongly dissagree with "vast majority of country people make LESS than 3,000 baht per month". Up here its more like about 4000, with husband and wife working. We pay 4000 a month with accomadation,water electricity,ins ect and cant get anyone to work, been looking for staff for about 2 months now. I rarely used to carry money as the wife usually did but she has been pressuring me for an "allowance" as I keep moaning about her buying new clothes shoes ect. So instead of having everything, she now gets 5000 a month(just for "stuff"). I still dont agree with it but I'm actually much better off. I think its way too much but then i'm ki-niow Oh we still have joint bank accounts and that sort of stuff so she could always get more out if she had to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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