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Posted
Well, I'm 28, how old and rich do you think I am?

And my wife is 27.

I guess that you're rich enough that you can pay all the bills and give your wife an allowance.

Although I might be reading into things as you more or less say that your wife has 24/7 access to your Visa card. If she doesn't pull much off it's not costing you much, so you're only foolong yourself that your wife is on any sort of allowance. :D

Possibly you mean that you have your wife on a monthly budget? Nothing wrong with that; people budeget everywhere in the world.

Well, aside from Thailand anyways. :o

And if one give out allowence (either way), you can't argu about one spending to much money...and if you can't argue about money, what are you gonna argue about?

I'm sure most woman can think of something. :D

And what is this talk of the wife spending too much? They can't spend what they don't have.

We have a budget and that's how much money is available...and if she 'spends to much'...the wife's SOL. There's no more until the next month...

So, to clarify; a budget and an allowance are different discussions.

I have no problems with a budget; or even with some type of performance-based allowance. But an inflated allowance just for having a pussy and a marriage certificate is a bit much. Especially as many of the 'marriages' are shams that involve tying a piece of string on each others wrists...and pussy is cheap. :D

IA

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Posted
I have no problems with a budget; or even with some type of performance-based allowance.

IA

Stock options? Big screen TV in the cafeteria?

:o

Posted
Well, I'm 28, how old and rich do you think I am?

And my wife is 27.

I guess that you're rich enough that you can pay all the bills and give your wife an allowance.

Although I might be reading into things as you more or less say that your wife has 24/7 access to your Visa card. If she doesn't pull much off it's not costing you much, so you're only foolong yourself that your wife is on any sort of allowance. :D

Possibly you mean that you have your wife on a monthly budget? Nothing wrong with that; people budeget everywhere in the world.

Well, aside from Thailand anyways. :o

And if one give out allowence (either way), you can't argu about one spending to much money...and if you can't argue about money, what are you gonna argue about?
I'm sure most woman can think of something. :D

And what is this talk of the wife spending too much? They can't spend what they don't have.

We have a budget and that's how much money is available...and if she 'spends to much'...the wife's SOL. There's no more until the next month...

So, to clarify; a budget and an allowance are different discussions.

I have no problems with a budget; or even with some type of performance-based allowance. But an inflated allowance just for having a pussy and a marriage certificate is a bit much. Especially as many of the 'marriages' are shams that involve tying a piece of string on each others wrists...and pussy is cheap. :D

IA

I'm not sure what 'performance-enhancning'-drug your own to be able to read so much (crap) out of a short reply, but that was some...effort. =)

The point was that we have a shared economy (but since we moved recently and I'm the only-one with a Visa-card connected to our accounts 'back home', it's that one she used, ofcourse) and no allowence should be needed for anyone in an equal relationship.

Btw...she is acctually gonna bring in more money then me in the end of the month. (And possibly, depending on when contracts back home kick in, for many months.) Doesn't bother me. Besides, her family has more money then me and my family, so I know the affection and love is real.

The problem with the guys above is that they aren't in an equal relationship at all. They have money and the girls don't. The men fall in love (even though they might have payeed the girl for their attention, but hey, men are stupid) and send her money. What girl in her right mind would send it back? And then the men get's confused when the girls have several boyfriends or loose interest when the men resign from work to go live in Thailand on a very tight budget...

Posted (edited)

Zarkow,

It doesn't sound like you have your wife on an 'allowance' at all so I don't know if we're agreeing or disagreeing here. :D

The problem with the guys above is that they aren't in an equal relationship at all. They have money and the girls don't. The men fall in love (even though they might have payeed the girl for their attention, but hey, men are stupid) and send her money. What girl in her right mind would send it back?

Why are you talking about farangs sending Thai hookers money?

Get your mind out of the gutter. :D

It's funny that...I was talking about men putting their wife or girlfriend that they lived with in Thailand on an inflated 'allowance'...

A woman that doesn't live with me (or have concrete plans to be with me)...or isn't taking care of my children gets jack s.hit.

I'm not a charity. :D

Heng wrote:

Stock options? Big screen TV in the cafeteria?

Don't be coy Heng. :D

Do you have the missus on a 100,000 baht allowance (that she actually spends)...for doing jacks.hit?

[Amount raised due to relative wealth :D ]

Or if it doesn't sufficiently strike a cord, may I kindly supply you with a couple of Canadian hookers names and addresses so you can start sending them $4000 a month?

Don't take offense if one of them happens to be a sister who 'puts me through school', or funds our parents retirement. :o

:D

IA

Edited by IsaanAlex
Posted
A lot of you guys apparently have no idea what it costs to live up country. I'd guess the vast majority of country people make LESS than 3,000 baht per month. To give a country girl 15,000 baht a month encourages the mooches to prey on her. I can assure you that it is a rare country girl that won't spend it all whether you give her 5,000 or 50,000 per month.

I'd strongly dissagree with "vast majority of country people make LESS than 3,000 baht per month". Up here its more like about 4000, with husband and wife working. We pay 4000 a month with accomadation,water electricity,ins ect and cant get anyone to work, been looking for staff for about 2 months now.

I rarely used to carry money as the wife usually did but she has been pressuring me for an "allowance" as I keep moaning about her buying new clothes shoes ect. So instead of having everything, she now gets 5000 a month(just for "stuff"). I still dont agree with it but I'm actually much better off. I think its way too much but then i'm ki-niow :o

Oh we still have joint bank accounts and that sort of stuff so she could always get more out if she had to.

The "allowance" thing did'nt work out ( I knew it would'nt :D ) So we are back to just having "our" money. We both have credit cards and ATM cards and both just use the money as needs be. Works ok for me.

Posted (edited)
Don't be coy Heng.  :D

Do you have the missus on a 100,000 baht allowance (that she actually spends)...for doing jacks.hit?

IA

Well, she does get a profit share that varies from month to month. She helps with the family businesses and is a signer in a few of them (yes, even though we're not even married yet). Whether the particular funds she spends each month is from this profit share or income from her own side of the family is her own business. There's no one in the family that does j.sh.... those that are over 80 or can no longer walk, they advise.

Was just curious what kind of performance was required in your household before the dosh came down. :o

:D

Edited by Heng
Posted
So, to clarify; a budget and an allowance are different discussions.

Ho hum.... :o

same same... but different huh? :D

So many different views... so many different perspectives... it all boils down to the same thing whether you call it an allowance or a budget in my opinion (which I've already voiced earlier in this thread).

Just to qualify that further, I make no comment on long-distance infrequent visitor relationships... only in country.

:D

Posted
Zarkow,

It doesn't sound like you have your wife on an 'allowance' at all so I don't know if we're agreeing or disagreeing here.  :D

That is what I'M BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG. Try reading my first post, or second and so on...I Don't agree on allowence-practise, me and my wife pretty much share the money, since it goes to us both one way or another in the end anyway. =)

Is the picture CLEAR now, or should I repeat it? =]

The problem with the guys above is that they aren't in an equal relationship at all. They have money and the girls don't. The men fall in love (even though they might have payeed the girl for their attention, but hey, men are stupid) and send her money. What girl in her right mind would send it back?

Why are you talking about farangs sending Thai hookers money?

Get your mind out of the gutter. :o

Well, not to be rude, but OP was posting an story that sounded close to the above. And then we have the other threads on this forum ("gave her 100K, now she doesn't love me") with stupid-stupid-farangs that keep repeating the same mistakes, just because they don't use brain number 1, but 2. And I'm not talking about the reptilian brain.

If guys stopped using money as a tool to get woman, they wouldn't be so surprised when woman take them for the money...

Posted

Heng wrote:

Was just curious what kind of performance was required in your household before the dosh came down.
dosh=money?

If so, there was never a time before the dosh came down.

This is Thailand. :o

Jaidee wrote:

Ho hum....

same same... but different huh? 

I disagree that an allowance is like a budget although there may of course be some overlap. When I refer to an allowance, I'm referring to an amount that is usually above 'budget money'...and has more to do with wants than needs.

Zarkow wrote:

If guys stopped using money as a tool to get woman, they wouldn't be so surprised when woman take them for the money...

Is there a Thailand where the value of a man isn't predicated on his wealth and a womans on her pussy?

That's their inherent 'value'. That's how most see each other. That's why they genuinely despise each other, IMHO.

When a woman looks at me strictly as an ATM I start to think how much sucking she's going to have to do to get any of it. And I'd imagine that when a woman feels that she's being looked at as a piece of meat she will be thinking of how much she can cost the man-the more the better.

Where's the love? :D

IA

Posted (edited)
When a woman looks at me strictly as an ATM I start to think how much sucking she's going to have to do to get any of it.

Now THAT is a fcukin classic!!!

:D

Where's the love?  :D

Putting to one side your previous comments, it does depend very much on the relationship... if you're only into the P4P scene, then the ATM syndrome is of course expected, but in a long term relationship where there is actually love between both parties, an allowance of sorts is OK by me if the girl does not have a job... don't forget, it is Thai custom/culture for the children to take care (financially) of their parents. :D

Tell me IA, from your posts I gather you are married... is your wife on a performance-based allowance? :o

Edited by Jai Dee
Posted

Everyone tries to complicate things! It has BEEN demonstrated many times that men continue to do stupid things. The reason for that is because a man's body only contains enough blood to run one head at a time. :o

Posted

Where am I from?

Khon Kaen. :o

Ok. Seriously.

Vancouver. :D:D

And yes, I have my wife on a performance based 'allowance'.

If she takes care of me and the kids I 'allow' her to eat and live in my house. :D

And when she get's uppity and says things like "you don't give me any money"...I stop giving her money-for anything. :D

Then when she's blown through about 3000 baht of her own money in a few days...she settles down and grudgingly concedes that maybe I do throw a few baht into the household. :D

It usually takes a few days after for the claw marks to my arms and face to subside (they're from day one and two-just befiore she learns her lesson, but where I'm learning mine :D ).

But that's the price I pay (every few months :D ) to help the wife appreciate the value of money. :D

Just doing my share to make Thailand a better place for all farang...

:D

IA

Posted
Then when she's blown through about 3000 baht of her own money in a few days...she settles down and grudgingly concedes that maybe I do throw a few baht into the household.  :D

How does she blow it IA?

Seriously, I'm not having a go at you... sounds like you have (or rather she has) a problem, and this is your method of overcoming it... am I right? :o

Posted (edited)

Jaidee wrote:

How does she blow it IA?

Seriously, I'm not having a go at you... sounds like you have (or rather she has) a problem, and this is your method of overcoming it... am I right? 

The term 'blows' it actually refers to how fast the money can go, although I'm in no way suggesting that my wife spends money irresponsibly. She is actually very good with money.

The money can go fast when daily expenses comingle with bills; for example, if we spend 300 baht a day on food and then my younger sons preschool bill comes due...it's entirely possible that there's 4,000 baht gone over a few days. The next 3 days might be less, but there's always daily expenses and regular larger bills...

This is what my wife doesn't understand at times; it doesn't matter where the money goes, it still goes...

Her favorite line is: you don't give me money, blah, blah, blah.

Well, when I pay all bills for myself, her, our youngest and (step)son...I ###### well do 'spend' money on her; especially if we consider (as I do) that at it's most basic level it's everyone for themself (i.e. we must at least have the ability to take care of ourself)...and kids are 1/2 and arguably less in some cases...

Basically, my wife, like many women...wants the ability to keep taking while also proclaiming,"hmm,hmm,hmm,what have you... done for me lately *snap* *snap* *snap*..." :D

My thinking is that they won't knwo until you take it away. So when I hear too much bullshit I do.

Then I get to say tripe like, "baby, I don't want to control you, making you ask for money (poor dear :D )...so no more money for you!"

Or, " If I don't give you money anyways...you won't miss anything...". Then I don't give jack.

Reality checks are a bitch, but I don't need to listen to nonsense.

The facts of Thailand are still that pussy is cheap and so are maids so I don't want to hear Thai women (including my own)...overstating their 'contributions to the household'.

They're worth about 6,000 baht a month max, so if they cost more than that they're a drain; and complaining in any way is just taking the piss.

My advice to them is that if they don't want to be maids or be short of money they can get off their asses and work like everyone else. Or find a new man.

No free lunches.

Again, I haven't wrapped my head around putting a lady on the payroll for a mouth or hands that aren't working. :o

IA

PS. Where's the love? :D

Edited by IsaanAlex
Posted

IA, just a suggestion... something that we do (as a couple together) and it helps with expenditure control...

Keep a diary of expenses... write down when those bills come in and how much they are... over time it sure helps with forecasting how much money you have to spend.

One benefit of this for us has been with relation to telephone usage... we've discovered that it is cheaper for my partner to make calls on her DTAC mobile phone to her parents in Isaan rather than use the fixed TOT line. :o

Money can be a problem in all partnerships... it's not limited to Thailand. Understanding where it goes and why it has to go is a key to defusing potential conflict.

Just my two satang.

:D

(line poached from another TV member's nick, but appropriate here :D )

Posted (edited)

JaiDee,

Thank you for the money advice, but I've come to the conclusion that it is more likely a control issue than a money issue.

My wife wants the ability to take while constantly pining on about how I don't give. :o

There's no easy solution to this as that's one game I don't play well...

Tennis anyone? :D

IA

PS. The drugs in Vancouver are way better than Thailands'... so it aint the yahbah. :D

Edited by IsaanAlex
Posted
I've come to the conclusion that it is more likely a control issue than a money issue.

My wife wants the ability to take while constantly pining on about how I don't give.  :o

There's no easy solution to this as that's one game I don't play well...

Interesting... a control issue hey? Any other examples, or is it just related to money?

I would suggest however, that your particular case is rare with Thai women in a true loving relationship... all the couples I know do not have the same problems... your's may be an isolated case. :D

Anyone else out there with a control freak for a spouse? :D

Posted
Anyone else out there with a control freak for a spouse?  :D

I thought all wives had that affliction :D

Every time my wife asks me to drive her to Korat for some "shopping", I tell her, no. Next thing you know, I'm driving her to Korat. :o

Posted
My wife wants the ability to take while constantly pining on about how I don't give.

Now that I understand more about your situation I also start to understand more of your previous posts. I would have been out the door yesterday.

Posted

If you are going to stay with her everyday, I don't see any point to give her any money. unless for house daily use. (don't be surprise she not alone,when you are not around and the monthly 15K what she have spend.)

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