Are Thai Women Incurious Lovers?

[PattayaParent]

^Now I have this image of you checking out the size of Roosters balls!!

[bina]

keep that image for when u need it...

bina

[bifftastic]

Another long post from me

I'm not just talking about the actual sex act. Love making is a WHOLE LOT MORE than just that. Love is about being open with each other, and to each others needs and wishes.

I think this remark is very important and one of the most relevant to the original post.

When two people can share feelings then they become very close. This would imply curiosity would it not?

I, for one, would not be involved with someone thousands of miles away from my home if there were no other attractions other than the physical.

Below, I've drifted from the original question somewhat but some of the comments on the thread have mentioned family, rural communities and gender roles so I feel it has relevance.

I think some people are closer to their cultural stereotypes than others but that would probably only be on the surface.

With regard to rural family structures and gender roles, in my own, limited, experience of Thailand, the family unit that I have contact with is from two different rural backgrounds. My g/f's family is from Korat but one of her older sisters has married a man from Chiang Saen who's father originates from Laos. Now my g/f, her two children and another of her sisters with her two children also live on the same land in Chiang Saen. So there is a difference between the Korat 'immigrants' and the local community, also the Laos connection makes for an interesting mix!

In this household, my g/f's sister is like the MD or CEO of the business, she organises all the workers on the land they farm, pays all the bills etc. She fields all the enquiries about houses or land for sale, (she was the one who negotiated the pick up rental for me from a woman down the street) whilst her husband makes things (like the house!) repairs the tractor etc. His father is the one who consults the monks at the local Wat about the right day to do everything and he owns all the land the family lives on.

There doesn't seem to be any role designation based on gender as such, everyone pretty much does what is necessary, apart from the washing up! I got a funny look when, after dinner I took some plates into the kitchen! 'Bai Nai?' said Pi Suk, with a frown. Apparently I should sit, smoke, and drink whiskey whilst the women wash up!

I don't know if the mix of the family and the fact that they are from different backgrounds themselves has anything to do with it, or if that is unusual in Thailand but I found them to be tolerant of difference, interested in things about my country (mainly the price of things and my videos of snow!) and concerned only if I was 'jai dee' or not.

More 'on topic' my g/f resisted talk of us being a couple in the accepted sense until we knew and understood each other better. Our only real fallouts have been when this understanding has been brought into question. I think I have mentioned before that it was this ability to connect on that level that brought us together in the first place.

It seems that now we have this understanding she confides in me quite readily and isn't shy or cautious in her answers when our conversations veer off into deeper, more personal areas. She is also kind and sensitive when hearing some of the things I share with her. Sometimes I need to give some background about how my culture may be different from hers (the fact that I spent some time in a childrens home even though my mother was still alive needed quite a lot of explaining!).

Maybe she's not typical of her nation and doesn't fit a stereotype too well but maybe you have to know someone to understand that. Maybe people who appear to fit a type or a culture on the surface are more than that and will surprise you if you get closer to them.

We all have cultural aspects to our personalities and these are, often, not apparent until contrasted against others we are close to. This undoubtedly happens in the Thai-Farang relationships we are discussing here and gives us the opportunity to recognise them in ourselves more readily and, in my opinion, can only be a good thing.

[toret]

Since we are on the topic of asking questions, and the cultural differences regarding this practice, there is one thing that really puzzles me, or maybe I should say it annoys me, or rather: it pisses me off to the degree where it can actually ruin an entire day.

That is when I am asked a question by an asian (for some reason this, at least in my mind, seem to happen most frequently with thai females) and my reply is "I don't know."

Then they give me this very strange look, like they are very baffled and also feel sorry for me or worried about me at the same time, and then the reply: "Oh, why you don't know?"

Now, what kind of a question is that?

Is it related to the not so uncommon practice that it is better to give a wrong answer than no answer? Is that why they give me this weird look, because the "I don't know" is so surprising and totally unheard of?

Any input on this one would be very much appreciated, because it is perhaps the greatest of all enigmas I have encountered during almost a decade and a half of travelling and living in the region.

[bifftastic]

That is when I am asked a question... ...and my reply is "I don't know."

Then they give me this very strange look, like they are very baffled and also feel sorry for me or worried about me at the same time, and then the reply: "Oh, why you don't know?"

Now, what kind of a question is that?

Geez, that would piss me off too!

Especially seeing as the answer to 'why you don't know?' is 'I don't know why I don't know!'

oh and in answer to your question..... ummm I don't know

[kaewmala]

This incuriousity is maybe not a phenomenon only between Thai women and Farang men.

I had an ex Thai gf that did not know the occupation of her Thai husband (ex when I met her) or where he worked and they had been together long enough to have 2 children, the oldest of which was 5 at the time.

I thought that very strange.

Well, that's indeed quite strange and perhaps extreme. There's also a difference between simply being incurious or indifferent and purposefully not wanting to know.

bina, thanks for your observation. True about the rural women being more down to earth sexually speaking. As for the observation on the language, there's also a flip side to that. Due to conservative upbringing (in Thailand's case educated middle class) a woman can feel limited by her own language which is closely connected to her socialization. For example, I've talked to my girlfriends about how it is easier to use English as the amorous language than Thai, because in choosing English the Thai woman has freed herself from the Thai cultural limitations and feel less shy to express herself romantically (even to a Thai boyfriend).

biffbastic, thanks for more sharing . The roles of Thai women can be various. There are regional differences and other complexities in how women play a role in the family (many rural women in the North and Northeast often play an important role in the family, and in most cases women's status in their family tend to come from their economic power and resources wherever they are). We had/have a tradition in the North where daughters inherit family property, so when you own the house you have a lot of say in what's going on. But that has also changed somewhat.

Back again to the original point, curiosity or lack thereof depends on many things. Culture, education, class, and importantly individual personality, all come into play. We are all products of our culture to varying degrees. And when it comes to the matter of women and men, the gender roles and values rooted in the culture are often influential with most, though not all women -- since there are always those who don't conform.

To what extent, a Thai woman or man, or anybody, is curious or not in a romantic relationship or marriage, will depend on all those things, plus the level of intimacy between the couple and what she or he values in the relationship. Many people are practical and content with what's immediately relevant to their lives - the here and how. Others are more introspective and inquisitive about things below the surface.

To say that all or even most Thai women are incurious in their lovers or the love process would be an exaggeration because although many foreigners have married disproportionately to a group of Thai women who tend to behave a certain way due to their social and cultural backgrounds, it doesn't mean that one should generalize the pattern of behavior to apply to all Thai women. I am not saying this to put down poorer and less educated Thai women but to point out the importance of individual personalities even within the same group of women when trying to understand people, even those from a different culture. Any effort to understanding the cultural values and norms that might explain someone's behavior is to me always a wise thing to do. However, it'll be a mistake to confuse the culture with the individual.

[sbk]

Most of the Thai women I know marry Thai men they have known very very well for a very long time. No need to be curious as they already know all the details, whether they like it or not.

[mark45y]

This incuriousity is maybe not a phenomenon only between Thai women and Farang men.

For example, I've talked to my girlfriends about how it is easier to use English as the amorous language than Thai, because in choosing English the Thai woman has freed herself from the Thai cultural limitations and feel less shy to express herself romantically (even to a Thai boyfriend).

Are you saying that Thai women would have better sex lives if they spoke English? Or perhaps that English speaking women have better sex lives because sexual communication is easier? If so should English teachers spend more time teaching amorous language courses?

[bina]

the same reasoning that poeple here curse in other languages much more freely; i hate bad language (i can talk about balls and penis size all day due to working with animals so long, but bad couase language like using 'c...' or '<deleted>.. word, and other more extreme words, really bug me when used sort of randomly like here since most folsk here dont know the real meaning. we also curse in russian and arabic for the same reasons, its less 'strong' or 'nasty' and ore 'cool' then using native language. saying 'i love u' in a foriegn language means that maybe u are less serious, less willing to commit... it kind of divorces u from your intimate parts of u emotionally or physiclly... so i could see switching to a different language for sex talk... its kind of less embarrassing.

sort of like calling my husband's penis 'nong chai'... im never sure exactly how to refer to it as a part of anatomy or during lovemaking... never mind my onw nether bits.. so ive taught him the hebrew girly-talk word which is actually from the arabic, when we say the word twice (like same same) it softens it and makes it 'nicer' for ladies to use rather then coarse street language. maybe i should teach anon yiddish... ?

bina

[silk]

This is weird, a Thai lady asking a question of Thai women, and farang men replying.......and here's another one.

I think, having being married to a Thai lady for 10 years, that the lack of interest shown by Thai women in their men's personalities, their interests, feelings etc, is down to a lack of education. Most Thai women know very little of the world outside of Thailand, and dislike asking questions about things of which they have little or no knowledge. Thai women, in my experience dislike asking questions, about anything other than the ones you quote.

In the first couple of years we were married, my wife found it difficult to believe that if I wanted to know something, I'd ask someone a question, whether, shopping, looking for directions etc. It seemed that she'd been brought up not to ask questions, though whether this was by her parents or teachers, I'm not sure.

Also the level of English taught in Thailand is abysmal**, so it's difficult for Thai women to frame questions they may have. There also seems to be a culture of we-can't-change-the-natural-order-of -things, which maybe explains why most Thais (of both sexes), seem only to be interested in things that directly effect their day to day lives.

Maybe this explains why Thai women are seemingly more interested in which cream will make their skin whiter, than getting a better education. A white skin is preferable for getting on in life Thailand, whereas even with a reasonably good education, if you're dark skinned you've got no chance. Sad but true.

Hope this helps.

(**present company excepted - the OPs written English is comparable to most native English speakers)

If true or not, good post, what you say is a possible answer to the original question

[silk]

Tell him he needs to learn to be more creative and keep your posts on other forums to other forums. What's said out of school stays out of school.

What is your problem? He is mentioning an issue and he wants to know the opinion of others. What is wrong about this? You seem to know everything. Good for you, profit from your knowledge and do not send aggessive posts to someone, who is not as delighted as you

[silk]

I was just joking, inferring I find intelligent women a zillion times sexier than not intelligent, unlike the men who only date farmers daughters and get offended thinking that a woman with a brain might have more to offer.

How could you say such a terrible thing. My wife was a farmers daughter. Sure she dropped out of school at 16 and went to work in a beauty shop. But by 17 she owned the shop and at 18 owned three. And then she married a cop. At 20 they had three businesses and a large rice farm. He was involved in some illegal things such as running stolen tractors over the border and selling them for cash and there were rumors that he killed some people but nevertheless they had a good life.

When I met her at 25 she was very sexy. She did not have much intellectual curiosity but she kept the house clean. I think she picked me because she thought I was a step up from the cop. She said he beat her up and she didn’t like the rumors of him killing people. She was so sexy she had an affair with my best friend. I worked offshore and was gone a lot.

What does this have to do with this thread? My wife wasn’t Thai. She was a blond haired blue eyed Texan. It is not just Thai women who are incurious.

And I don’t think farmers daughter’s are unintelligent but in a lot of cases, street (or field) smarts replace institutes of higher learning. Now, if you were a farmer you might really understand the sexiness of a farmers daughter. Also if the OP was a farmer she might understand more about the rural woman’s world view.

Do you ever read the guys who post on Thai Visa who are farmers in Thailand? They seem very well adjusted. Perhaps incuriousness is not a Thai thing. Perhaps it is a rural thing.

Except for the fact that my ex wife was tall and blond and blue eyed she was just like a lady from Issan. Matter of fact her chili was hotter than most I have eaten in Thailand and she wouldn’t flinch at cooking road kill, robins, possum or any manner of wild thing that the boys shot or trapped. Rural parts of the American southwest are about 100 years behind the rest of the country in many cultural aspects. I suspect the same is true of Thailand and one of the reasons that there is such a dichotomy in current politics.

Your blond eyed texan wife is not a good example for a farmers daughter in Thailand.

Age 16- 18 she owned three shops - how did she do that? On salary it is not possible for a farmers daughter in Thailand.

He (cop husband) killed people , but nevertheless they had a good life?

She was very sexy, but kept the house clean? - great, so you did not have to clean yourself.

She had an affair with your best friend?? - great, this is what you expect from a friend. Good luck with your relationship.

What kind of man are you to accept all this and now you have the guts to compare your sick Ex-wife with a

farmers daughter from Thailand?

[mickvisa]

yes ,i never saw so many fat and crude men till i came to thailand and saw those bars /brothels ,the poor thai girls are put under enormous pressure from their families to send money home,to marry money not a loving husband ,to them if the girl is 18 and the man 80 its o.k. if he has plenty of money ,same in bali

[mickvisa]

mmmmmmmmm

[mark45y]

I was just joking, inferring I find intelligent women a zillion times sexier than not intelligent, unlike the men who only date farmers daughters and get offended thinking that a woman with a brain might have more to offer.

How could you say such a terrible thing. My wife was a farmers daughter. Sure she dropped out of school at 16 and went to work in a beauty shop. But by 17 she owned the shop and at 18 owned three. And then she married a cop. At 20 they had three businesses and a large rice farm. He was involved in some illegal things such as running stolen tractors over the border and selling them for cash and there were rumors that he killed some people but nevertheless they had a good life.

When I met her at 25 she was very sexy. She did not have much intellectual curiosity but she kept the house clean. I think she picked me because she thought I was a step up from the cop. She said he beat her up and she didn’t like the rumors of him killing people. She was so sexy she had an affair with my best friend. I worked offshore and was gone a lot.

What does this have to do with this thread? My wife wasn’t Thai. She was a blond haired blue eyed Texan. It is not just Thai women who are incurious.

And I don’t think farmers daughter’s are unintelligent but in a lot of cases, street (or field) smarts replace institutes of higher learning. Now, if you were a farmer you might really understand the sexiness of a farmers daughter. Also if the OP was a farmer she might understand more about the rural woman’s world view.

Do you ever read the guys who post on Thai Visa who are farmers in Thailand? They seem very well adjusted. Perhaps incuriousness is not a Thai thing. Perhaps it is a rural thing.

Except for the fact that my ex wife was tall and blond and blue eyed she was just like a lady from Issan. Matter of fact her chili was hotter than most I have eaten in Thailand and she wouldn’t flinch at cooking road kill, robins, possum or any manner of wild thing that the boys shot or trapped. Rural parts of the American southwest are about 100 years behind the rest of the country in many cultural aspects. I suspect the same is true of Thailand and one of the reasons that there is such a dichotomy in current politics.

Your blond eyed texan wife is not a good example for a farmers daughter in Thailand.

Age 16- 18 she owned three shops - how did she do that? On salary it is not possible for a farmers daughter in Thailand.

He (cop husband) killed people , but nevertheless they had a good life?

She was very sexy, but kept the house clean? - great, so you did not have to clean yourself.

She had an affair with your best friend?? - great, this is what you expect from a friend. Good luck with your relationship.

What kind of man are you to accept all this and now you have the guts to compare your sick Ex-wife with a

farmers daughter from Thailand?

A Beauty shop is a very small cash investment. Less than most spend on a couple nights in Walking street. Thai women have a “share” loan system and small loans are readily available.

Thai police have a good family life. Ethics and behavior are rarely questioned.

Yes, I think rural women from Texas are quite similar to women from Issan. Little education, use marriage and relationships to further personal and family financial stability. Simple view of life. Extended family is very important. The life view of rural people the world over is quite similar even though the language and culture may be different.

[mark45y]

yes ,i never saw so many fat and crude men till i came to thailand and saw those bars /brothels ,the poor thai girls are put under enormous pressure from their families to send money home,to marry money not a loving husband ,to them if the girl is 18 and the man 80 its o.k. if he has plenty of money ,same in bali

Successful, wealthy men from any society get beautiful young women regardless of the males physical appearance. In most developing countries this is more obvious but nevertheless it happens in all cultures. Rod Stewart and Aristotle Onassis are a couple examples. One would be hard pressed to find an uglier man than Onassis and he married women who were world class beauties and talents.

There is a Russian proverb that says a man need only be a little better looking than a monkey but able to pay the bills. Similar proverbs can be found in most languages. A wise woman does what is necessary.

Even Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was a little like a Thai woman when she said, “I want minimum information given with maximum politeness.”

[sbk]

Funny how these conversations always veer to becoming all about men.

[kaewmala]

Most of the Thai women I know marry Thai men they have known very very well for a very long time. No need to be curious as they already know all the details, whether they like it or not.

sbk, I suspect there's some difference in the level of intimacy between Thai-Thai couples and Thai-farang couples, due to absence of language and cultural barrier (though it's possible there's a class/education barrier).

Are you saying that Thai women would have better sex lives if they spoke English? Or perhaps that English speaking women have better sex lives because sexual communication is easier? If so should English teachers spend more time teaching amorous language courses?

That's quite a logical leapfrog, Mark. Thai women who would find English a less inhibiting amorous language will already be at least conversant in English. But I imagine you can teach non-English speaking Thai women amorous English words and their sex life might plausibly improve as a result. But the point is not: new language > better sex life per se, but new language > new perspective & unlock inhibition that comes with the old language.

And whether or not English teachers should start teaching amorous English is another matter all together. Call me square, but I thought language is for communicating in all spheres of life, not just for sex (or the male mind always gravitates to that direction).

the same reasoning that poeple here curse in other languages much more freely ... [snipped] ... so i could see switching to a different language for sex talk... its kind of less embarrassing.

sort of like calling my husband's penis 'nong chai'... im never sure exactly how to refer to it as a part of anatomy or during lovemaking... never mind my onw nether bits.. so ive taught him the hebrew girly-talk word which is actually from the arabic, when we say the word twice (like same same) it softens it and makes it 'nicer' for ladies to use rather then coarse street language. maybe i should teach anon yiddish... ?

Precisely, bina. It's less embarsassing (if you feel inhibited in your own language, which many --not all--Thai women do). I for example cannot curse in Thai (been brought up not to curse and one cannot underestimate early childhood conditioning and what it does to one's psychology), so when I am really mad now, I curse in English like <deleted>, the Thai equivalent of which I can never say.

In all languages we rely on euphemism when it comes to taboos, esp. sex. So, I think /nong chai/ is a very cute euphemism for it. But then there's 'dirty talk' and 'sexy cutesy talk'. I guess the choices of euphemism would depend on the taste and situation of the usage and the people involved, wouldn't it? And why not teach your hubby yiddish, if it would spice things up.

Anyhow, I wonder if we might be veering off and down the smutty lane -- not a big problem for me but I wonder about the polite audience.

I love to discuss more about language (and be able to type the Thai letters) but for that I guess the Thai language forum might be a more appropriate place.

[mark45y]

There is a porn movie maker called Deaf Bunny. They make porn movies for deaf people (they also use deaf actors and actresses). Deaf people are very loud in bed. There are deaf bar girls in Pattaya. They are very good in bed (so I hear).

One can’t help but wonder what makes a Thai deaf Thai woman more sexual than a Thai woman who can hear. Maybe there is a negative connotation to language in general as I also discovered English non speaking women were also bedroom athletes. A lot of deaf people are opposed to new hearing technologies. This also seems to me unusual. Maybe they know something no one is talking about.

For a man ,women in general are difficult to understand. I don’t mean this in a derogatory way but it is often difficult for a male to understand what his female partner is talking about even speaking the same language.

Yesterday I came home and my girlfriend had moved her teddy bears from the bedroom to my bookcase in the living room. Add to this general confusion a different language or perhaps even two or three different languages and one can see the problems. Say the male is German and speaking and listening to his wife in English and Thai and Lao. Contrast this with a deaf woman.

I thought about this when I was considering what to say about the teddy bears. I can say what I think about it in at least four languages maybe five. Then I thought about the deaf girl. I asked myself what I would say to a deaf woman whose birthday was the next day.

I am still thinking about the teddy bears and it’s been a day of me looking at them in the living room, I haven’t said anything and her birthdays almost over. What do deaf people do about pillow talk when the lights are out?

If language is an important part of sexual relationships are deaf women more likely to make an extra effort to compensate much in the same way blind people seem more perceptive of their surroundings than sighted people? If so that would explain some things.

[bina]

my sister works wit hte deaf and hearing impaired in the states as a translator etc... deaf people tend to be more physical because they dont hear so body contact is used more and close facial space for lip reading when neccessary; the vocalizing is because they dont hear themselves and are therefore not embarrassed. gallaudet is a very noisy highschool /college for deaf people and they all vocalize. so is perkins shcool for the deaf and blind.

so with deaf women i guess that would be the answer. also, for people that dont verbalize as much, they use more body language and body contact for getting their message across.

bina

israel

[Ave]

Where I live Thai women are very interested in my life and the life of other farangs. Because I often happen to be a friend in between I get asked lots of questions about farang men by Thai women. They might not ask directly but they are still curious just as others are I think.

[Damacles]

Fascinating thread...thank you everybody!

[Seanextra]

Aggreed This is a great thread (apart from the Odd bored person) as someone venturing where i have been warned by so many not to tread , this is a fantastic help in understanding my new partners possible actions and attitudes towards some topics and conversation. I must say we communicate amazingly well online however verbal communication is distinctly a challenge and will require a fair effort before we can have a seemless conversation, In my mind a minor problem that just needs carefull handling in the early stages to prevent lost in translation disasters, but really its these rarely talked about things which are really great to get some insight on and can help one come to turns with a partners approach or reaction to certain trials and tibulations in the this life long learning skill of how you live and communicate with The MISSES (or HUBBY what ever your case maybe) !

ThaiVisa where would i be without it ???

Edited April 11, 2010 by Seanextra

[StreetCowboy]

Aggreed This is a great thread (apart from the Odd bored person) as someone venturing where i have been warned by so many not to tread , this is a fantastic help in understanding my new partners possible actions and attitudes towards some topics and conversation. I must say we communicate amazingly well online however verbal communication is distinctly a challenge and will require a fair effort before we can have a seemless conversation, In my mind a minor problem that just needs carefull handling in the early stages to prevent lost in translation disasters, but really its these rarely talked about things which are really great to get some insight on and can help one come to turns with a partners approach or reaction to certain trials and tibulations in the this life long learning skill of how you live and communicate with The MISSES (or HUBBY what ever your case maybe) !

ThaiVisa where would i be without it ???

PEDANTRY ALERT

I am guessing you meant "MISSUS", not plural of MISS. Maybe not. Still good advice, either way.

SC

[penguinchris]

Very interesting thread. This has been one of the things that has been bothering me about my relationship with my girlfriend, who I met in January. I understood somehow that this was to be expected (I may have read something about it somewhere) but that didn't prepare me for how it would actually work out.

I mean... I got from her all the standard questions others have mentioned here. Am I married (no), do I have a girlfriend back home (no), do I have kids (no), etc. I understand the need to ask those questions to foreigners... it's no secret what the majority of foreign men who put themselves in a position of meeting Thai girls are there for. I rarely get any further questions, as seems typical based on the other responses here, and questions I ask her usually are left unanswered.

Anyway, here's where it's different and where I may be able to provide some generational insight. I think I'm relatively young compared to most foreigners who have serious relationships with Thai girls - I'm 23, and she's 21. She doesn't see me as a source of financial support or anything like that - I made sure she understood that I'm a grad student and I don't have any money (I make the equivalent of 50,000 baht a month as a teaching assistant, but that barely covers living expenses in California and I have no other source of income). She has never asked me for money or to pay for anything... she even offered to pay for meals sometimes, though I didn't let her, and in several cases insisted that she pay for other small things (and she's not rich either).

So, then, what does she see in me and what about me is she interested in? Hard to say for sure, since she doesn't ask questions and doesn't give full answers to my questions

I have a feeling, comparing my experience to others I've read about here and elsewhere, that younger Thais are moving away what's been considered typical - finding a guy who has decent money and can take care of them - to caring more about emotional attachment and falling in love and so on. Her real interest in me is, I think, a genuine emotional one rather than a practical one... though very much "in the moment", surely, since she isn't particularly interested in my past or anything like that.

By the way, she's not a well-educated urban girl. That's not to say she's stupid or uneducated - obviously not - she's a student (though she has never answered what exactly she studies), but she's from rural Mae Hong Son and certainly exhibits many of the traits I would expect rural girls to have vs. urban girls based on what others have written here and elsewhere. I met her in Chiang Mai where she was staying with her sister (who is learning english - the sister is married to a foreigner) for the dry season. If you're wondering, I was there for a month doing geologic research for my master's thesis (I realize going someplace like Thailand to "do research" is something of a joke, but it's true ). I'm going back after I graduate in June and will be staying for several months (until my visa - and my money - runs out ) Currently, I video chat with her every couple of days. I always try to get a few questions in, but I'm not pushy about it, and she often doesn't end up actually answering, as I said (there is a fairly significant language barrier, of course, which doesn't help).

[penguinchris]

Forgot to mention - "I don't know" is definitely not a valid response to a question from a Thai girl I didn't really understand that but the previous posts about it make it obvious.

"What? Why you don't know?" - heard that all the time. Any time I say I don't know, I still get a laugh from her. Didn't understand until now. I'm not going to lie to her to avoid saying I don't know, but maybe I'll have to get more creative with my answers

[sarahsbloke]

By the way, she's not a well-educated urban girl. That's not to say she's stupid or uneducated - obviously not - she's a student (though she has never answered what exactly she studies), but she's from rural Mae Hong Son and certainly exhibits many of the traits I would expect rural girls to have vs. urban girls based on what others have written here and elsewhere. I met her in Chiang Mai where she was staying with her sister (who is learning english - the sister is married to a foreigner) for the dry season. If you're wondering, I was there for a month doing geologic research for my master's thesis (I realize going someplace like Thailand to "do research" is something of a joke, but it's true wink.gif ). I'm going back after I graduate in June and will be staying for several months

Ask to see her course work (now while on video link), try to get her to do the video link at about 11pm Thai time.

When you arrive in CM, ask her where she has her part-time job, then insist on visiting her at work.

Please don't be a complete mug.

[IanForbes]

Ask to see her course work (now while on video link), try to get her to do the video link at about 11pm Thai time.

When you arrive in CM, ask her where she has her part-time job, then insist on visiting her at work.

Please don't be a complete mug

Always the sceptic, Sarahsbloke? I think he would know if she is actually a student or not.

I has been a great thread, Kaewmala. Lots of insightful replies. Because my main interest has always been to make the woman happy I have very frank discussions with them. It's seemed to work for me by the expression on their faces. If the woman isn't happy then I'm not happy. And, I'm NOT discussing money in my reply.

[Ijustwannateach]

If I had come across this query in a gay context, I would have wanted to know further if this foreign guy who inquired could speak any Thai at all, and where/how he was meeting these women. On the one hand, if he spoke no Thai it's a little rich accusing women of being incurious about HIS culture. On the other hand, the type of English-speaking Thais (straight *or* gay) who hang out and routinely meet foreigners in tourist-friendly venues of any kind are not, on the whole, really the best sorts of people to meet (sorry to say).

Otherwise it just seems a rather small sample size to generalise, and may say more about the way that the guy selects people psychologically than anything else. Most 'genuine' Thais I've met are extremely social and very curious to talk and know more about their friends and lovers.

[iwad2010]

Are you serious! I find the subject completely rediculous.

Someone has been in a relationship for 2+ 3 years and the only Q's he has had the delights to deal with are....where you come from? are you married? I can't remember the rest of this purile rubbish but, this guy should break out and steal a personality from somewhere.

You propose the subject area as if it has some form of jouralistic take; it's doesn't.

I tend to agree with Sean, in the frame you were in. It's no big deal. But, it is a little irritating.