Gay For A Day

[Totster]

In fact my first reaction in seeing Scamps's post was "If he is going to be gay for a day, I wonder is he cute? - perhaps i should suggest that he spends that gay day with me!"

And you know it is funny - sometimes it is not the more militant gays that have the greatest "us and them" attitude, in our hearts. Totster might be surprised to know that I have many straight friends that I dont spend the whole time arguing with.

Ha ha... not surprised at all... I would hope you do..

Anyway we were talking, and he said somrthing that shocked me a little. He said that even though he had many straight friends, he sometimes felt very paranoid and wonders "All those straight friends of mine who are seemingly accepting of my sexuality; are they really? I don't really know what's inside their minds."

I was taken aback because as i say he is quite conservative and I though that he fitted in very well with his straight friends. To think that he was going about thinking that of them (when he was feeling a bit paranoid) was a surprise.

Well, this isn't something I have thought about before. I shall certainly be bringing up this point with a friend of mine, it will be nice to hear what he has to say.. but will he tell me the truth...?

What a shame that even though he is part of a group that accepts who he is (and fits in), deep down under the layers he wonders if they accept him at all. I wonder if he has actually come out (oops) and asked his friends directly what they think... or maybe they are not that close.

Anyway, that was just a rather long-winded way of saying that trying to tell us gays to not be defensive or chippy is a bit of a waste of time - we will react to the society that is around us. We will become less defensive when the majority society ends the offensive against us.

What is this offensive you talk about.... I see no offensive in my everyday life, but then maybe I wouldn't...

Totster

[Ijustwannateach]

Straight guys don't exactly give us any reason to expect them to be diplomatic or polite. I've worked in offices where I was in the closet but other gay gays were not, and when the "out" guys left the way many of the straights spoke about them was very different... the "out" guys were saddened and disappointed when I told them the two-faced nature of many of their so-called friends.

HINT: If you're a homophobic redneck, we WILL find out. Don't waste your energy pretending.

"Steven"

[PeaceBlondie]

Oh, I forgot to mention one of the reasons I never came out of the closet before retiring. I was an active member and leader in a church that was quite liberal, within a denomination that was ultra-conservative. If I had come out as a gay man, I would have forced them to reject me and kick me out, or the local church would have been kicked out of the denomination. It wasn't fair to put my friends (who suspected I was gay but didn't care) in that situation.

How does this relate to this discussion of being gay for a day?

[Totster]

HINT:  If you're a homophobic redneck, we WILL find out.  Don't waste your energy pretending.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Fair enough Steven... but I think some look to hard, eager to find....

totster

[The Philosopher]

Indeed PeaceBlondie, I posted also on that aspect of it also,but as you say, it was not taken up.

I tend to notice that on forums like this, that subject (homophobia) is an issue that straight people tend to shy away from. They like focussing on what they consider to be the amusing/sex-related  aspects of the gay experience (talk about how all gay men are Pet Shop Boys loving, tireless cruising, expensive restaurant dining individuals etc).

But a more significant aspect of the "gay experience" for many gay people is how the general straight community reacts to their sexuality. A friend of mine told  me recently about a lesbian who came out to her family at the age of 40. She is single and used to do a used to do a lot of babysitting for her younger sister. She got an ostensiably positive reaction when she came out. However, since she came out to the family, she gets the brush off when she volunteers to babysit now with all sorts of excuses. This is breaking her heart because she loves the children in question, they love her too and she would quite literally give her life to prevent any harm from coming to them.

Biut if you bring up this aspect of the gay experience straight people tend to ignore it or accuse you of being whining. (e.g. such as the suggestion from a straight poster in response to my original post that us gays should consider ourselves lucky we dont live in Pakistan! )

That is part of the reason i suggested  to Scamp that if he wanted to experience part of the "gay experience" the most useful/educational thing for him to do would be to self-identify himself as gay in a 'straight space' and see the reaction he got.

Personally I believe that one has little control over ones sexual  attractions, and any attempt to see what it felt like to be attracted to the same sex for a day would be a fatuous exercise. As would flouncing about in Soho for a spell.

But i doubt that any straight person would have any interest in carrying out my suggestion. No fun in that! Far better if you are  straight to restrict ones discussion of homosexual issues in internet forums to such imbecilic topics as whether or not wearing a pink shirt will make you look gay.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

/Post Edited - Off Topic and unnecessry.

ChrisP

Moderator.

Edited May 26, 2005 by ChrisP

[Thomas_Merton]

Edited /Moderator

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Edited May 27, 2005 by ChrisP

[Totster]

Edited / Moderator

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

totster

Edited May 27, 2005 by ChrisP

[ChrisP]

Hey people..

I'm SHOCKED and amazed (in a good way!) that this post has stayed largely on Topic and interesting for a whole 6 pages!!

And no-one got banned.

Wow.

Thanks!!

Chris P

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Did we come to any conclusion?

And will the post that follows this be a sensible one?

[moebius]

Some people here have actually made some relative statements to a subject worthy of some discussion, though perhaps under a different topic header.

Aside from that, and the touchy, feely ventures of straight guys into scampy territory, I really think three things about this whole thread:

1. PeaceBlondie is right on most counts and has my vote.

2. I thought the Gay Forum was for gays and gay issues relative to Thailand, not for straight guys to titillate themselves. Sure it's not a busy forum here on TV, but really...

3. Substitute another group as the topic subject and see what kind of reactions you get.

And perhaps be sensative to history:

Every right won was fought for, not given.

To be persecuted because of how you look or feel is a crime against humanity.

To fight back or be hostile to persecution is human nature.

I'm tolerant of those who are tolerant of others.

Those who post or have posted in sincerity do deserve some credit for trying. It may have worked for me if it didn't carry the title it does.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Some people here have actually made some relative statements to a subject worthy of some discussion, though perhaps under a different topic header.

Agreed.

Aside from that, and the touchy, feely ventures of straight guys into scampy territory, I really think three things about this whole thread:

What is 'Scampy territory'? ...I can't wait to hear this.

2. I thought the Gay Forum was for gays and gay issues relative to Thailand, not for straight guys to titillate themselves. Sure it's not a busy forum here on TV, but really...

If you mean 'Gay's only' then no it isn't, just as men are allowed to post in the ladies forum providing they have a valid contribution to make, however, you can be forgiven for believing that seeing as none dared to venture into pastures gay until I lead the way with a silly title that would be sure to bait the curious posters, hopefully not too many trolls, and it worked.

3. Substitute another group as the topic subject and see what kind of reactions you get.

Something along the lines of 'Thai For A Day' has been done in the past, and who's to say the reactions here were bad anyway? ..It did okay mate.

To be persecuted because of how you look or feel is a crime against humanity.

To fight back or be hostile to persecution is human nature.

Most of us know that, why care what the others think?

I'm tolerant of those who are tolerant of others.

Hmm, there are many minorities I don't tolerate that do tolerate me, potheads for example... Young spoiled children and alcoholics with no will power who have let their life go down the bog without a fight.

Those who post or have posted in sincerity do deserve some credit for trying. It may have worked for me if it didn't carry the title it does.

Granted, however I needed a daft title as the 'ice breaker' but we didn't come here to gatecrash or ransack.

Good post BTW.

[moebius]

Some people here have actually made some relative statements to a subject worthy of some discussion, though perhaps under a different topic header.

Agreed.

Aside from that, and the touchy, feely ventures of straight guys into scampy territory, I really think three things about this whole thread:

What is 'Scampy territory'? ...I can't wait to hear this.

2. I thought the Gay Forum was for gays and gay issues relative to Thailand, not for straight guys to titillate themselves. Sure it's not a busy forum here on TV, but really...

If you mean 'Gay's only' then no it isn't, just as men are allowed to post in the ladies forum providing they have a valid contribution to make, however, you can be forgiven for believing that seeing as none dared to venture into pastures gay until I lead the way with a silly title that would be sure to bait the curious posters, hopefully not too many trolls, and it worked.

3. Substitute another group as the topic subject and see what kind of reactions you get.

Something along the lines of 'Thai For A Day' has been done in the past, and who's to say the reactions here were bad anyway? ..It did okay mate.

To be persecuted because of how you look or feel is a crime against humanity.

To fight back or be hostile to persecution is human nature.

Most of us know that, why care what the others think?

I'm tolerant of those who are tolerant of others.

Hmm, there are many minorities I don't tolerate that do tolerate me, potheads for example... Young spoiled children and alcoholics with no will power who have let their life go down the bog without a fight.

Those who post or have posted in sincerity do deserve some credit for trying. It may have worked for me if it didn't carry the title it does.

Granted, however I needed a daft title as the 'ice breaker' but we didn't come here to gatecrash or ransack.

Good post BTW.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks. Every once in a while I find something good to copy out of a book.

I think 'scampy' territory comes from the 'confused' sexuality statements made about you by other posties. It also sounds good. Please consider it a compliment. It may one day become a catchphrase to which you will get all the credit. NOI

Gays for gay only is not wholly what I mean. I am someone who wades in to virtually everything - sometimes as participant, sometimes observer. My experience is: people often make light of issues which others can find very sensitive (spelling it right this time). A 'gay' forum is a great place to further promote tolerance for all, but also a great place for some to kick the crap out of some people's self esteem.

I see something I respond. Hopefully not with a perceived knee-jerk reaction. While it's nice to see people having fun, I did feel it important to back up those who don't always share the humour.

Anyway, I'm outta here...appreciate your sentiments.