Do Thai Men Pay Sinsot For Farang Wife?

[sbk]

So true, and mine's from Surat Thani too, so that for sure makes him a black hearted killer out to strike me down were I to get out of the kitchen.

Anyway, we all like our stereotypes and it certainly makes our lives easier and requiring less thought if we use them. So, I will leave them to you. Lets just recall the forum rules when posting, cheers.

[eek]

Check the (not so) small print..this is the General forum.

Observation is the key.

[scorecard]

In the last 10 years I have attended about 5 Thai weddings, sin sod summary as follows:

- Both originally from Bangkok, both on small income, groom paid 100,000Baht sin sod as reguested by brides family, which took him a long time to save, after wedding all finished 50% was given back to the couple.

- Hi-so wedding, sin sod of sveeral millions, plus sveral land plots given to brides family (already quite wealthy, but brides and groom given large plot of land in Sukhumvit area about soi 10 plus new big modern house, paid 50/50 by both parents.

- One wedding in Roi et, both bride and groom locals but work in Bkk, grooms boss and workmates were very generous and gave him about 60 / 70% of the requested 100,000BAht. After wedding all was given back, which places groom in awkward posotion about returning the money. All donors insisted he and his wife keep the money.

- Second wedding in Roi et, all very poor, wife lives in Roi et, groom working in Bkk for about 3 to 4 years before wedding, kept himself broke for years to save the 150,000Baht requested for sin sod, nothing returned after the wedding and still gets continuous demands for more money and brides parenst will not allow her to live with husband in Bkk.

- Wedding in Rayong, brides parents requested 10,000Baht sin sod then surprised all present by giving the couple a new car on the wedding day, with 10,000Baht cash in an envelope in the car.

[hawthorne]

We never had a wedding party so never got sin sod but it will be presented if/when we ever get round to it. We married at the amphur 7 years ago though so doubt we will bother now.

you got ripped off.

[tingtongfarang]

Have a thai friend who is now on his second farang wife (first past away 7 years ago) on asking if he paid sinsot he told he suggested it to his first wife but she answered....dont start that shit and did,nt bother suggesting it to the second wife,

But both marriages happend in europe, First wedding in london his family paid the costs and the second was a registry office affair in barcelona,

BTW also there is a 32 year age gap in his second marraige...he being older.

Edited June 3, 2010 by tingtongfarang

[Alwaysright]

Just can't help yourself can you? Did you read the thread? Just curious?

If you can't contribute to the topic,you could always be quite.

[qwertz]

Unconditional love should mean you don't count the cost.

Unfortunately, the only unconditional love I see around me is perhaps that of a mother for her child and vice versa.

Marriage for somebody's gain has long been prevalent in many cultures: so long as both parties are aware of the implications, there's no real

impediment.

It always seems to me though that many non-Thais who check in here have doubts, otherwise why would they ask?

The best advice anyone can take is - if in doubt, leave it out.

P.S. Hi eekie

[bina]

well, sin sot was paid and then spent (spread around all of us); and as for thai men stereotypes: he's the one to wear the skirt in the house...)

[Tonto21]

In Thailand you pay before you move in. In the west you pay after you move out. And pay, and pay, and pay… Different customs with similar results.

Reminds me of the Barbie joke: Man goes in a shop to buy a Barbie for his daughter. Father to shop owner; One Barbie please,…Which one?...How many you got?..... Hundreds……Which one’s the cheapest?... Well that will be hooker Barbie; she comes with very little cloths and no accessories…. She’s 19.99$. OK, says the father, which one the most expensive? That’s got to be divorced Barbie, she’s 3000$........How much! What does she come with?................ All of Ken’s stuff! Said the shop keeper.

[Jimi007]

A somewhat interesting read. Sorry if I'm going somewhat off topic but... Although I am still a farang male and I'm sure I would have to pay something. I already have. But not much. There are differences in our cultures, but I accept that. After more than one year of living together, I went with her to meet her parents. I was invited to stay at their home as a hotel was about 40 minutes round trip and it was late by the time we arrived. A day or two later they took me to see their old family blind Buddhist monk and he performed a ceremony to see if we were compatible. It was a very interesting and moving experience. Has anyone else ever done this ceremony here? I think it was called "Ap Naam Mon." He deemed us as very highly compatible. Her parents set up everything and paid for it. I was then part of their family and I paid for a big BBQ for the family and friends. Plus it was her birthday party! Not much, just some food from Makro. They have always treated me with respect and kindness. Actually she gets a bit jealous as her mother always asks how I am. Not how she is... Good luck to everyone else! It took me over four years of learning what not to do here, to get what I have now!

Edited June 5, 2010 by Jimi007

[rizla]

I didn't pay sinsod for my Thai wife. She actually hates the tradition. She said "I'm not a thing to be bought and sold." If your girlfriend really loves you, she will live with you regardless. If she refuse to be with you on the basis that you don't or coudn't pay the sinsod, she isn't really worth it. Now, if it's the family that wouldn't let her go, that means the family has a lot of influence over her life. They are likely to continue having such influence over her life ever after you're married to her and you would be in the middle of it. It could be a good or bad thing. Now, if the girl herself refuses to be with you on this basis, let me tell you something. Thai girls are not that old fashioned and they are quite flexible in this respect. If your girlfriend really loves you, she wouldn't let the tradition(money) stand in the way.

Best regards,

Roy

Spot On My Man........in a nutshell

Edited June 5, 2010 by rizla

[Finlaco]

Seems we are expected to accept /respect Thai culture except when it involves a thai actually putting his hand into his/her pocket 5555555

[jitenshaman]

Sinsod is a scam ... "Farang no money"

If you think sinsod is only payable by farang men then you may have missed something.

It's not some kind of tradition put on to acquire more money out of farangs...

Another way of looking at this:

We pay for my wife's sister to go to uni, we paid for her to study over seas, i pay her mobile phone bills and her school texts etc. This isn't my responsibility because I'm white. It's my responsibility because we are the eldest siblings in the family.

When my wife's parents pass away and move on then the family houses, land and money etc will also become ours to manage. More recently; the deposit on my newest car was gifted by my wife's family

Obviously in poorer families the pre-payment of sinsod may out way the advantages of inheritance witnessed in wealthier families; but i think you'll find it comes from the same original concepts of family unity etc.

If the eldest siblings have responsibility than why do i see so many girls who are the youngest playing caretaker, in many many situations the eldest do not help. Secondly, in many many Thai cases, the guys somewhat get the sin sot back in the form of property (house bought by parents, et al)...whereas that will not be the case for a farang because he cannot own the property.

Your assessments about the tradition are correct, but unfortunately, many many farang are used when it comes to sin sod.

[sammybkk1]

Thai wife want it / Thai husband don't want to pay .

[Heng]

Seems we are expected to accept /respect Thai culture except when it involves a thai actually putting his hand into his/her pocket 5555555

Traditions that bring about a public showing of my having little or near zero net worth are of course outdated, silly, and oh f*** where am I going to borrow enough cash?

[bina]

Heng, et al.. the topic is DO THAI MEN PAY SINSOT FOR/TO FARANG WOMEN. for thai women/farang male there are several threads always running. get back on topic please, and discuss politely-- several women so far have answered about our experiences of sinsot, from varying levels of socioeconomic levels as well as our husbands being from different levels of thai society.

bina

[sbk]

bina, ever the optimist.

[Livinginexile]

<!--quoteo(post=3510422:date=2010-04-16 12:54:19:name=LuckyLew)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (LuckyLew @ 2010-04-16 12:54:19) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=3510422"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Sinsod is a scam ... "Farang no money"

If you think sinsod is only payable by farang men then you may have missed something.

It's not some kind of tradition put on to acquire more money out of farangs...

Another way of looking at this:

We pay for my wife's sister to go to uni, we paid for her to study over seas, i pay her mobile phone bills and her school texts etc. This isn't my responsibility because I'm white. It's my responsibility because we are the eldest siblings in the family.

When my wife's parents pass away and move on then the family houses, land and money etc will also become ours to manage. More recently; the deposit on my newest car was gifted by my wife's family

Obviously in poorer families the pre-payment of sinsod may out way the advantages of inheritance witnessed in wealthier families; but i think you'll find it comes from the same original concepts of family unity etc.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

If the eldest siblings have responsibility than why do i see so many girls who are the youngest playing caretaker, in many many situations the eldest do not help. Secondly, in many many Thai cases, the guys somewhat get the sin sot back in the form of property (house bought by parents, et al)...whereas that will not be the case for a farang because he cannot own the property.

Your assessments about the tradition are correct, but unfortunately, many many farang are used when it comes to sin sod.

My friend you have got it sooooo wrong.

Sinsot is for show only.

It is given back to bride and groom and the end of the cerimony.

In one sentence you say;

"We pay for my wife's sister to go to uni, we paid for her to study over seas, i pay her mobile phone bills and her school texts etc. This isn't my responsibility because I'm white."

And yet in another you say your wife's family is quite wealthy by saying;

"When my wife's parents pass away and move on then the family houses, land and money etc will also become ours to manage. More recently; the deposit on my newest car was gifted by my wife's family"

So basically you are saying you're wife's parents are rich (by Thai standards) but you still have to pay huge amounts of money out!

It is truely amazing how these otherwise intelligent western men are brainwashed into paying huge amounts of money for sinsot and then continue to pay for the extended family for as long as the marrage lasts!

Edited June 7, 2010 by Livinginexile

[meme]

For anyone interested in the actual original question:

My husband (Thai) and I (Canadian) were married (we also had a Canadian wedding) in his village 400ish people attended and sin sot was paid as well as my gold ring. We gave the sin sot back but kept the money that we made from the wedding. The sid sot was mainly for the ceremony and for keeping with traditions.

Edited June 7, 2010 by meme

[kikoman]

If Thai men pay for Western Wife's. I would hope they are not charged by the Pound/Kilo of live weight of their intended.