Farang Men Hitting On Farang Women?

[ihunnieibee]

Okay...

I was just wondering is it just me or does it often happen to other farang women too...??????

So when I moved to Thailand I expected to be getting hit on a lot by Thai men, I have a Thai boyfriend, and I like asian guys in general so I didn't feel bothered by it. What I didn't expect was to be getting hit on by farang guys constantly while being in Thailand.

From reading Thaivisa and talking to numerous people, I felt like this wouldn't happen as most guys would usually be interested in Thai girls...

Another thing is when I was living in the US, caucasian men didn't really seem to be interested or try to talk to me..for whatever reason other than being friends for the most part.... and a lot of asian guys usually seemed to like me but here...its totally the opposite...it doesn't seem like so many asian guys are intersted in me..(or maybe they are just too shy???)

Anyways, I just feel like this is weird... and I was wondering if it happens to any other farang ladies in Thailand...

[bkkjames]

I think SBK will tell you it's quite a common occurrence for her on KPG - at least once a month anyways when the moon is bright 

[somtampet]

May i ask where do you live and your age please.Also what age group are hitting on you,and do you like it or not.There are not that many single women in Thailand except for holiday makers so what choice have we got lol.

[ihunnieibee]

I'm 26 and I live in Bangkok..

The guys could be anywhere between 19-40 it is really random age groups lol..

No, I don't mind it at all, I just felt a little curious because I've been told so many times it wouldn't be happening to me here haha and the fact that it didn't happen when i lived in the US just made me feel even more curious...

[sbk]

If one were to believe many of our regular posters, it is a complete figment of your imagination, so, sorry to tell you ihunniebee. Its utterly impossible. You should seek therapy for these delusions of yours. At least, if one were to believe many Thaivisa men, that is.

[eek]

Im under the impression that many Thai guys think farang girls are out of the equation. Reasons such as concerned about language barrier (usually Thai guys that can speak English are more forward. Or, when they realise you can speak Thai feel more comfortable). Some guys are just a bit intimidated to make that first move. Some maybe think the farang girl wouldnt be interested in them or that they have a bf already.

As for your question about Farang guys hitting on me. Yes, it happens. I dont go out so much (clubs etc) and keep myself to myself, but even then it happens. More so when i go to Bangkok actually. Dunno what it is about Bangkok, maybe the guys are more forward?? Ive been asked out even whilst just hanging about, such as at the BTS. Guys around my own age in CM show interest. Especially guys who are here on vacation and assume i probably am too.

But both Thai and Farang are usually more forward at night..which is normal i guess..cuz a few drinks gives people confidence. Had a weird one happen at night when a guy kept shouting out his car window asking me to please stop and help. It was in a crowded street area so i slowed down, only for him to say to me that he just would like to ask me out sometime!! This was from a Thai guy.

I think that many farang guys come here and are drawn to Thai/Asian women..but there are many guys are interested in any and all women they find attractive regardless of their ethnicity. Bangkok likely has a lot more guys who are into any women as long as they find them interesting and/or attractive. Regular guys without bizarre hang-ups about western women.

[bkkjames]

If one were to believe many of our regular posters, it is a complete figment of your imagination, so, sorry to tell you ihunniebee. Its utterly impossible. You should seek therapy for these delusions of yours. At least, if one were to believe many Thaivisa men, that is.

Envy?

[sbk]

If one were to believe many of our regular posters, it is a complete figment of your imagination, so, sorry to tell you ihunniebee. Its utterly impossible. You should seek therapy for these delusions of yours. At least, if one were to believe many Thaivisa men, that is.

Envy?

Got me in one james, fat old hippie feminazis like myself don't get hit on at all.

[bkkjames]

If one were to believe many of our regular posters, it is a complete figment of your imagination, so, sorry to tell you ihunniebee. Its utterly impossible. You should seek therapy for these delusions of yours. At least, if one were to believe many Thaivisa men, that is.

Envy?  

Got me in one james, fat old hippie feminazis like myself don't get hit on at all.

Hey, I think I mentioned in my first post you did - probably. BTW, you are not fat. 

[sarahsbloke]

If one were to believe many of our regular posters, it is a complete figment of your imagination, so, sorry to tell you ihunniebee. Its utterly impossible. You should seek therapy for these delusions of yours. At least, if one were to believe many Thaivisa men, that is.

Envy?

Got me in one james, fat old hippie feminazis like myself don't get hit on at all.

There are deviants everywhere these days ........ just treat em like you would back home.

[tutsiwarrior]

I was inna bar once in HCMC an' got to talkin' with a western girl about early 20s; surprising as she sidled up an' started the conversation...she was with a tour/educational group that I had heard about as a friend's daughter in the US had participated in the same program so that there was a focus to the conversation...some half drunk young colleagues of hers kept comin' up to engage her in conversation; she was reasonably attractive and had large breasts and was wearing a tank top with no bra and I guessed that I was selected as a subterfuge for her to avoid their clumsy advances...

our chat became animated and I was enjoying talking to her; hadn't spoken to a western woman in years except on a professional basis and I was enjoying myself and I bought her a couple of beers...she was queued up to play pool and left her drink on the table and it looked like she wanted to continue our chat afterward (we were seated next to the pool table)... then a local woman entered the bar; 30's, tall(long legs) with a knee length sheath dress that displayed everything that I was mostly interested in and I wandered away...

always wondered afterward what would've happened if I would've stayed put and continued with the conversation; we were on Thi Sach Street (guess the name of the famous HCMC bar) and my hotel was just 5 doors down; i.e, the bar shuts and then 'hey, I got a boddle of vodka in my room...'

Edited June 23, 2010 by tutsiwarrior

[IanForbes]

I believe there is a logical explanation to the OP's question.

1. Reasonably attractive people are going to be "hit upon" in what ever country they are in. But, it's going to happen more often in holiday destination countries like Thailand. People on holidays act differently than in their home country. I've seen rather staid girls go a bit crazy on holiday in foreign countries, and do things they wouldn't do at home. The guys on holiday know this as well and naturally think every female traveler is available.

2. People often confuse someone being friendly to them, to someone who actually wants a relationship. Being "hit upon" is more of the latter... as in the guy actually wants to get to know the gal on a more intimate level. I'm friendly to everyone, but I'm NOT looking for a relationship even though some women think I am.

[Gaccha]

This works both ways.

It has often fascinated me why I get hit on by Western girls much better looking than I would get in the UK, and why it happens more often. This also is true when I lived in Japan and China.

--I think one is the supply-demand factor. There are not many Western men, and despite this forum's members proving there are exceptions, most Western women will not even consider an Asian man (*). The supply for the men is extremely favourable-- they simply stretch their arms out and grab something.

--I also think the socio-normative rules allow it. The extremely complex Western social processes that must be in place before a girl may hit on a guy simply don't come into play here. They, as outsiders, are not of course obliged to follow the Thai socio-normative regime. And becuae of a sense of alientaion towards Thailand that will be more extreme than the men, they will also not wish to re-constitute themselves as part of this new regime.

--I sense an emotional factor: women are more extreme in all the emotions than men, apart from aggression. So if they are not in a social community then they will more actively seek friendships to ward off loneliness and depression.

So, I am making a claim on how human's think, I am gendering the claim, I am adding a social positioning, and I am noting a ruthless evolutionary demand. It would be hopeless to try to back these up on a blog in a visa forum, but I think the academic literature would side with me on my desire to find insight.

I also know the intensely strong narratives in popular culture would wish to demonise me. The narrative of the strong, assertive woman in Cosmopolitan magazine would take great offense at my position on emotions. The narrative on socializing processes, runs counters to the popular narrative of striving success by the modern Western woman. Finally, the claim on supply-demand runs counter to popular notions of wholesome romance. If you do react to any of my claims with any of these narrative myths then I would ask you to reflect on the extent to wish you have really thought about these issues.

(*) there is an astonishing research of a popular dating website that was allowed access to the over 1 million users database. It did not ask women what they sought, but actually observed what they did seek. The two did not tally. Annoyingly I cannot now find it. You can choose to speculate on the reasons why women will not search for Asian men-- perhaps no role models to imagine it, perhaps blind racism, perhaps they think they get a better deal with a Western-orientated new metrosexual guy. It doesn't matter.

Edited June 24, 2010 by Gaccha

[thaibkk]

i guess for a lot of thai men, you must be the goose with the golden eggs...

[kg1947]

Chocolate cake all the time can be boring, so Vanilla ice cream might be a nice diversion plus the chance of

making intelligent conversation in a foreign language ! what say you ... no ploblem huh ?

So if falang man is looking for "diversion" where are the Caucasian girls/ladies hanging around ?

The mind and the spirit need Vanilla once in awhile

[OxfordWill]

Male posters on this forum are not representative of the male farang population in the country.

[carmine]

I think that the Op needs to remember that their are many foreign men here that are simply not that attracted to Thai women. They are physically more attracted to western women. They choose to live here because they love living in the country, not for the local ladies. Seems perfectly normal to me.

[Boo]

There might be numerous reason, but I often find the men who hit on me or even just show friendly interest like women, in general. Regardless of creed or colour. Plenty of guys date cross racially. Those people can look beyond the usually cliched stereotypes of one group or another & instead focus on what they find attractive about the individual. But then these guys I find don't come with the bitter luggage that many men on this forum seem to be dragging around with them & give an airing on a regular basis;)

[StreetCowboy]

What's the opposite of deja vu?<BR>

[coutsa]

Hey, I am a farang living in OZ and looking for a farang woman living and working in Bangkok so I can live there too!! Are you available?

P.S I am expecting not to work and live soley from you.

[sbk]

while I am sure that is meant to be a joke, I am afraid it could smack of trolling in the ladies forum, something we do generally frown upon in a rather severe manner. In the future, so as to avoid complications, it might be better to either refrain from trolling or make it clear you are attempting to make a joke. cheers.

[peregrine8]

Now that I am single and much happier then I was a month or so ago. I get approached or hit on by western men. Whether it is when I am out shopping or at one of the pubs/bars in BKK. More so with the younger ones. I have to say I do not mind in the least...

Peregrine8

[fletchsmile]

"From reading Thaivisa and talking to numerous people, I felt like this wouldn't happen as most guys would usually be interested in Thai girls"

Hehe - had to laugh at this one. Possibly true that you might not get hit on by most guys who post vocally on Thai visa about farang women.

See no reason why you wouldn't get hit on by farang guys in Thailand though. Plenty of conclusions to draw there

[MiG16]

well if you look like Eek and SBK then theres no reason you wouldnt be getting hit on by any men - farang, thai, chinese, etc etc

it is only when SBK hits back that they all run away

[sbk]

I use the whip sparingly

[tutsiwarrior]

I use the whip sparingly

well, you know...spare the whip, spoil the etc., etc., etc.,...

but, ye gots to hold off with me, darlin'...I had un-diagnosed autism fer years...

[SailingHome]

Quick reply from my perspective... a woman moving from Western society to Thailand is generally more confident and assured of herself than the average woman back home, so more men will pick up on that. Just the feeling of freedom makes many women radiate. You are also a "rarity" and more sought after when some place where there are less of "you" (what ever the man categorizes "you" as at first glance which you have no control over - white girl, curvy, tall...) Even if confidence _truly_ does not change up or down (which is nearly impossible given the dynamics and natural growth of self) then remember that the man may just want to get some time talking to the most attractive person around that speaks the same language including the same cultural idiums (IE he feels safe and relaxed with you). To many Thai guys, you represent a challenge they don't find every day and to others an opportunity to explore and have an adventure with another culture. If your confidence is down, well... watch for the guys that want to use you because, let's be real, there are many men (and women) so hurting on their own that they want to share it with someone else.

$0.02

[peregrine8]

Quick reply from my perspective... a woman moving from Western society to Thailand is generally more confident and assured of herself than the average woman back home, so more men will pick up on that. Just the feeling of freedom makes many women radiate. You are also a "rarity" and more sought after when some place where there are less of "you" (what ever the man categorizes "you" as at first glance which you have no control over - white girl, curvy, tall...) Even if confidence _truly_ does not change up or down (which is nearly impossible given the dynamics and natural growth of self) then remember that the man may just want to get some time talking to the most attractive person around that speaks the same language including the same cultural idiums (IE he feels safe and relaxed with you). To many Thai guys, you represent a challenge they don't find every day and to others an opportunity to explore and have an adventure with another culture. If your confidence is down, well... watch for the guys that want to use you because, let's be real, there are many men (and women) so hurting on their own that they want to share it with someone else.

$0.02

I was in Pattaya this weekend and found the western men to be very nice there. I do not mean just hitting on me. Like you said above quite a few just wanted to talk.. The western women I ran into were not friendly.. Which is to bad.. I have found it very difficult to find western female friends.

Peregrine8

[eek]

Peregrine, if you dont mind answering, where are you based?

Sorry to hear you have had problems meeting female friends. There is pretty strong community of female expats up here in Chiang Mai. For connecting with other women there is Chickynet also (just google it).

[peregrine8]

Peregrine, if you dont mind answering, where are you based?

Sorry to hear you have had problems meeting female friends. There is pretty strong community of female expats up here in Chiang Mai. For connecting with other women there is Chickynet also (just google it).

I live in BKK and have been here for about 2 yrs now. I do have quite a few very good Thai girlfriends. It is just always nice to have a westerner to talk to hang out with.. I actually have tried chickynet.. The BKK group is not very active and the get together I planned 3 other people showed up. One of them happened to be an Australian man dressed as a women (I am not sure the proper term).. He was nice but when it is supposed to be a meet up for western women to make other western women friends .. lol... not so good..

Peregrine8