Tgf In Scotland

[moe666]

I know a Thaigal and I didn't think she would last in Sweden but she has. She is in some village out in the country no car and her hubby works all day. She does spend a bit of time on the phone back to Thailand with my girlfriend. They now have one child and another on the way.

You just never know how it will turn out. What if you hooked up with a girl from London how long would it last? Give it a try , all it will cost is some cash and a hurt heart. It could turn out to be the love of your life.

[shadyacres29]

I know a Thaigal and I didn't think she would last in Sweden but she has. She is in some village out in the country no car and her hubby works all day. She does spend a bit of time on the phone back to Thailand with my girlfriend. They now have one child and another on the way.

You just never know how it will turn out. What if you hooked up with a girl from London how long would it last? Give it a try , all it will cost is some cash and a hurt heart. It could turn out to be the love of your life.

My thoughts exactly.....

Good down to earth honest post.

[Enjibenji]

my girlfriend loves edinburgh - been together 2 years now and she's came over 3 times, about a month each time.

edinburgh is one of the best cities around. I'm sure i'm bias since i've been there my whole life but that's not just my opinion. I've came across countless numbers of people, british and tourists, who went to london, then after edinburgh - and much preferred the latter.

for starting up a family life, edinburgh would and always will be 1st over any place in thailand for me. Bangkok is great, and I do enjoy it here for a number of reasons when I come across, but I see it as more a place to stay to have fun and enjoy before properly settling down.

there is 1 thing that brings down the appeal though - albeit a huge one. Of course, the winters. Saying that though, my girlfriend has only came across in october-november and december-january and still loves the place. So that is something to think about.

as it stands though, me and my girlfriend are still young. So a long time before we have to make such plans

in answer to the OP though, I doubt your girlfriend would enjoy where you are staying (presumably shetland/lewis?). Of course, everyone is different, but I only say this because I wouldn't either.

[bifftastic]

If it does not work out in Scotland and you cannot afford to live in Thailand why not move to London?

If they can't afford to live in Thailand, as sure as chips are chips, they can't afford to live in London!

I reckon he'd have culture shock too! There's no point, in my opinion, in going somewhere neither of you have been before, then you'd both have no family, friends or support network of any kind.

As some have said, the only way to know is to try it.

I'd do as much preparation beforehand as possible, don't worry about it too much and just see how she likes it.

[roamer]

I know a Thaigal and I didn't think she would last in Sweden but she has. She is in some village out in the country no car and her hubby works all day. She does spend a bit of time on the phone back to Thailand with my girlfriend. They now have one child and another on the way.

You just never know how it will turn out. What if you hooked up with a girl from London how long would it last? Give it a try , all it will cost is some cash and a hurt heart. It could turn out to be the love of your life.

My thoughts exactly.....

Good down to earth honest post.

Exactly. Too much generalisation here, Thai's can't stand the cold, no Thai food, no friends etc. So much crap. I've met Thai's in places like Norway and North Dakota, places where they are barely visible behind the snow drifts, they manage OK.

I've also met Thai's, many of them, in places like London or other more cosmopolitan places where, according to the wisdom on this forum, it will be much easier for them. More crap. If your girlfriend doesn't know how to gamble or otherwise screw around she will certainly meet other Thai's that will teach her in these "easier" places, the OP's girlfriend is not a BG, she stands a chance. I don't mean to be derogatory about BG's, its simply that the bad habits learnt make it harder. Who knows, like my wife she might even end up taking a kip in the snow after building her snowman !!

Don't be so negative.

[jay1980]

If it does not work out in Scotland and you cannot afford to live in Thailand why not move to London?

If they can't afford to live in Thailand, as sure as chips are chips, they can't afford to live in London!

I reckon he'd have culture shock too! There's no point, in my opinion, in going somewhere neither of you have been before, then you'd both have no family, friends or support network of any kind.

As some have said, the only way to know is to try it.

I'd do as much preparation beforehand as possible, don't worry about it too much and just see how she likes it.

Well I thought he might be able to find well paid work in London. A lot easier to do for a Brit in London than Thailand.

It could be any bigger city with a Thai community, maybe a temple and an Asian supermarket that sells Thai food, where he can find decent work. Could be Edinburgh or Manchester, but he should do research into a place they can have at least some stuff to make her happy.

He is asking her to travel half way round the world to be with him, if he needs to he should be willing to compromise and move a few hundred miles within his own country if needed to help make the relationship work.

Anyway I just suggested it as a plan B if she is not happy in the remote location, maybe she will be fine with it, everyone is different.

Good luck

[Richard W]

She can go and pray here in London:

http://www.buddhapadipa.org/

There must be Thai Temples in Scotland as well.

They're struggling to establish a temple (or a branch - I'm not sure how things work) in Edinburgh.

There is a Theravadin temple in Glasgow - http://www.tsbv.org.uk/about.htm . I don't know how much Thai support they get - our local Thai (forest) temple's lay support seems to be a 3-way split between Thais, Sri Lankans and Britons.

Also look out for activities by visiting monks - Wat Amaravati's activities reach Glasgow (probably targeted at English speakers), but Wat Santisongsaram's activities would be more relevant as they are far more Thai. I don't know how far North they go. Unfortunately, this is all on the mainland.

[Birdman]

If she has something to do that would help. What is your work? Can she come along and help? Or with your family or friends? Maybe there is another Asian on that island. Or on the next one...

[dereklev]

So its seems everyone thinks its a no , which was pretty much what i expected, but i did think maybe someone might have been a bit more positive, but anyway im not going too end the relationship because of this that wouldnt be fair on her or me and i would always wonder if it would have worked. but i think time will tell if it works or not , still a bit away from making the visa so im just going to chill out relax and see what happens. Youre only here the once so you might as well make the best of it, what will be will be

I dont think your girlfriend will agree with that statement, she thinks she will be back many times

I would try and educate your GF about where you live so she has an understanding of the remoteness before she comes.

You should really take her for a visit in midwinter so she knows first hand how harsh the climate is

If she wants to come back and stay after that then at least she knows what she's in for.

Good luck, I hope it works out well for you both.

[raven0099]

You didn't think about these problems arising before the poor girl ever went to UK ?

The UK is a Million miles away for her, and in general, the people are very miserable in UK, she must be suffering.

No shes not here yet , but will be coming for a holiday when she gets her visa , not everyone in the uk miserable !

[raven0099]

If it does not work out in Scotland and you cannot afford to live in Thailand why not move to London?

If they can't afford to live in Thailand, as sure as chips are chips, they can't afford to live in London!

I reckon he'd have culture shock too! There's no point, in my opinion, in going somewhere neither of you have been before, then you'd both have no family, friends or support network of any kind.

As some have said, the only way to know is to try it.

I'd do as much preparation beforehand as possible, don't worry about it too much and just see how she likes it.

i agree , id be like a fish out of water in london and i wouldnt dream of moving there especially with my girl friend thats just come from another country , where i live isnt all bad , its safe my doors are unlocked and the keys are in the car all nite and nobody ever touches it , its a small community but generally the people are very friendly and look out for each other , and ive got a good job here ,my house will be paid for by the time im 36 and i only work six months a year so theres scope for a lot of holidays when the budget allows it, there are thais here , quite a few and im sure she could hang out with them , so i just need to calm down and not worry too much , thanks for your comments

[Thakkar]

To the OP:

A young Thai city girl I know married an Austrian fellow several years her junior. They moved to live in a remote Austrian village right after marriage. She did not speak any German. Her husband's job requires much traveling so he's away many weekdays, but home most weekends and holidays. She was initially snubbed by the villagers and rejected by her mother-in-law whose preconception of Thai women was that they were all prostitutes. The poor girl used to call Mrs T and cry into the phone every few days.

Fifteen years later and she speaks pretty good German, runs a popular Thai cooking class at the community centre, is head of the PTA at her child's school, learned to make dresses and has a profitable dress shop in town, skis, jogs and swims in her spare time and is thoroughly involved in the community. The mother in law that once rejected her now never makes a major decision without first consulting her.

What she had going for her was her strong character and the determination not only to make her marriage work, but to plant her flag in the community and make her stand. Equally important was the fact that her husband staunchly stood by her, demanding in no uncertain terms that anyone wanting to be part of his life had to first and foremost respect and embrace his wife.

While her husband loves Thai food, she also makes a mean Schweinebraten.

How *your* story turns out depends a lot on you and your gf.

[Scully]

I would say no, only because I wouldn't want to live there and I am pretty sure my missus wouldn't want to live there. If you know her well enough then you should know where she is happy.

Why don't you both meet half way and live in Iran.

Edited July 17, 2010 by Scully

[Birdman]

To the OP:

A young Thai city girl I know married an Austrian fellow several years her junior. They moved to live in a remote Austrian village right after marriage. She did not speak any German. Her husband's job requires much traveling so he's away many weekdays, but home most weekends and holidays. She was initially snubbed by the villagers and rejected by her mother-in-law whose preconception of Thai women was that they were all prostitutes. The poor girl used to call Mrs T and cry into the phone every few days.

Fifteen years later and she speaks pretty good German, runs a popular Thai cooking class at the community centre, is head of the PTA at her child's school, learned to make dresses and has a profitable dress shop in town, skis, jogs and swims in her spare time and is thoroughly involved in the community. The mother in law that once rejected her now never makes a major decision without first consulting her.

What she had going for her was her strong character and the determination not only to make her marriage work, but to plant her flag in the community and make her stand. Equally important was the fact that her husband staunchly stood by her, demanding in no uncertain terms that anyone wanting to be part of his life had to first and foremost respect and embrace his wife.

While her husband loves Thai food, she also makes a mean Schweinebraten.

How *your* story turns out depends a lot on you and your gf.

Nice posting, but I would say that she was 1 from 100. And circumstances on an lonely Scottish island in the Atlantic are much harder. Can't compare to a cosy Austrian village indeed.

Probably OP's girl was never in another country. So I would bring her at the best months weather-wise, which can be shocking enough for her.

[Thakkar]

To the OP:

A young Thai city girl I know married an Austrian fellow several years her junior. They moved to live in a remote Austrian village right after marriage. She did not speak any German. Her husband's job requires much traveling so he's away many weekdays, but home most weekends and holidays. She was initially snubbed by the villagers and rejected by her mother-in-law whose preconception of Thai women was that they were all prostitutes. The poor girl used to call Mrs T and cry into the phone every few days.

Fifteen years later and she speaks pretty good German, runs a popular Thai cooking class at the community centre, is head of the PTA at her child's school, learned to make dresses and has a profitable dress shop in town, skis, jogs and swims in her spare time and is thoroughly involved in the community. The mother in law that once rejected her now never makes a major decision without first consulting her.

What she had going for her was her strong character and the determination not only to make her marriage work, but to plant her flag in the community and make her stand. Equally important was the fact that her husband staunchly stood by her, demanding in no uncertain terms that anyone wanting to be part of his life had to first and foremost respect and embrace his wife.

While her husband loves Thai food, she also makes a mean Schweinebraten.

How *your* story turns out depends a lot on you and your gf.

Nice posting, but I would say that she was 1 from 100. And circumstances on an lonely Scottish island in the Atlantic are much harder. Can't compare to a cosy Austrian village indeed.

Probably OP's girl was never in another country. So I would bring her at the best months weather-wise, which can be shocking enough for her.

She is 1 in a 100, as is her husband. That's why the OP has to consider whether he and his gf have what it takes, because one thing's for sure: the adjustment will be anything but easy.

[geronimo]

There is a chance, albeit a slim one. personally I'd give it six months!!

[Padrino]

reading between the lines of your post, is your TGF a bargirl? if so she will be bored very quickly , but as from your post, the grass is always green on the other side

Why do you presume his GF is a BG? If you were in any other country would you ask someone if their GF was a prostitute? China (where go gos and happy massage originated) has a sex industry of epic proportion, yet if you met a foreigner there would you ask if his GF was a prostitute? I doubt it so why in Thailand? How insulting! Why would she be a prostitute? He is a young guy in a country with an abundance of beautiful young single women, the majority of whom work hard outside of the sex industry. Can you not presume a Thai girl is not a prostitute? Or have you spent your entire time here in nana and cowboy? I rarely ever meet prostitutes, all the thai wonen i meet work 9-5 jobs...maybe that's because I don't hang out in go gos etc...I don't get this attitude people are walking around with. And even if she was a BG , can you not address her as a human first by saying something like; "as a thai lady she may not adjust well to Scotland"....??

[wandrinstar]

Sorry if this sound cliche' but everyone is an individual. You have no idea how well a person will adapt until you test the water. Even ourselves for that matter. Of course there will be an adjustment period as well. The only way to know, is to test it out. Even then, the only way to know, is to test it out over a period of time (most everyone goes through culture shock..and this will take time..usually about a year of adjustment).

In my humble opinion - not a chance. Most European girls would not like it.

However, you may be lucky and have a one in a million girlfriend.

Why on earth would most European girls not like it?

ITS RATHER STRANGE,NO ONE HERE HAS MARRIED A BAR GIRL.NOT THAT IT MATTERS, ITS 85% FAIL RATE ANYWAY.

[Ricardo]

Why not bring her over on a trip to Scotland, for a few months, to meet your family, and see for herself what it's like in farangland ? She may love it, she's probably more-likely to not settle, but you don't really know, until you give it a try !

If funds are the problem, then make your next trip to Thailand into a trip to the UK for her, instead. While recognising the passport/visa hassle which this will involve.

And if you can't afford to move to Thailand yet, and she can't take Scotland's climate or island-life, then start looking for somewhere overseas where she will be able to settle, and where you can earn enough to support you both.

Good Luck !

[Shuguk]

<BR>NO chance meet her half way and move to the mainland she will still get home sick.  <BR><BR>How old is she? I ask because IMO and from experience (and other couple also) seem to settle a wee bit quicker the older they are.<BR><BR>You mention gambling that would have me back peddling straight away.<BR><BR>Good luck you will need it.<BR>

<BR><BR><BR>25 , i dont really see the gambling as a problem , i mean they usually sit around we a hundred baht of ten coins and play we that and have grub and a laugh , sometimes drink but not all the time, its not everyday so im not to worried about it , the mainlands got its ups but its not all good , saftey wise i mean , but thanks for your advice , i think what is needed is just to chill out a bit see what happens , at the end of the day ill soon know if she doesnt like it after her holiday visa , all thats lost is a bit of money <BR><BR>

Personally I have a Thai gf who lives with me here in a small town in the NE of Scotland. Dismiss the worry about the Scottish weather cos there are many Thai here. Yes it can be cold and raw but I cannot think of any Thais that have gone back to Thailand because of the weather. Food is not a problem as the gf always seems to have some sort of oriental food and does not eat much farang food. Also we both have jobs here. A necessity for your gf so-as not to look at the same 4 walls all and every day.

I have experience of life on the Isle of Lewis and I think your gf would settle in that environment ok, but as somebody mentioned it is up to the individual. Most islanders are very friendly so I would not see a problem. One thing you would have to think of, and make allowances for, is contact with her family. Don`t be like one guy here, who has a Thai wife, and cause arguments about the cost of the phone bill, better get a computer and get Skye of Windows live. Remember also that she will be 6000 miles from her home, any argument will have a bad affect on her cos she will feel so lonely. That is a big one in my book.

Lastly is my main moan......the amount of time spent on the phone by my gf, to any friends around here. Yak yak almost all day, I think things must be important and I await something to happen.....but it never does. I`m convinced they yak yak a load of crap, something to do, a way of keeping in touch.

Good luck in what you are trying to achieve, and always remember you have a plan B, in that you can always go back to Thailand.

Sorry if I have repeated anything already memtioned on the forum but it is a long thread and I haven`t read it all.

Shug

[RAZZELL]

I think a lot of Thai's are incredibly resilient.

If she want's to be with you and can see a future for her she'll put up with all the hardships.

Good luck

RAZZ

[samesamebutdifferent]

I've read through most of the posts, and would like to know how many of the people damning the idea of taking a TGF to Scotland have actually been there themselves or is it the usual TV self elected experts with no experience of what they're talking about, passing judgement from on high?

My Thai wife and I have lived in both London and Scotland and my wife prefered Scotland, probably because my family are here, and its where I'm from, so there was a bigger social network for her. There were things she lost out on in Scotland, like China town and the Chinese supermarkets on the north circular but I think internet ordering phone solved that.

Considering the OP, it'll be down to the type of girl you're bringing, my wife is from a small village in Issan, so she has a high boredom theshold, no malls or the like and I don't think she gambles.

Alot will have to do with how well you handle the situation, as mentioned already, arguements ect. will increase any feeling of isolation your GF will have, and a higher level of consideration will be needed than usual in a relationship. That's my advice, drawn from my own experiences. Good luck.

[smokie36]

Personally I have a Thai gf who lives with me here in a small town in the NE of Scotland. Dismiss the worry about the Scottish weather cos there are many Thai here. Yes it can be cold and raw but I cannot think of any Thais that have gone back to Thailand because of the weather. Food is not a problem as the gf always seems to have some sort of oriental food and does not eat much farang food. Also we both have jobs here. A necessity for your gf so-as not to look at the same 4 walls all and every day.

I have experience of life on the Isle of Lewis and I think your gf would settle in that environment ok, but as somebody mentioned it is up to the individual. Most islanders are very friendly so I would not see a problem. One thing you would have to think of, and make allowances for, is contact with her family. Don`t be like one guy here, who has a Thai wife, and cause arguments about the cost of the phone bill, better get a computer and get Skye of Windows live. Remember also that she will be 6000 miles from her home, any argument will have a bad affect on her cos she will feel so lonely. That is a big one in my book.

Lastly is my main moan......the amount of time spent on the phone by my gf, to any friends around here. Yak yak almost all day, I think things must be important and I await something to happen.....but it never does. I`m convinced they yak yak a load of crap, something to do, a way of keeping in touch.

Good luck in what you are trying to achieve, and always remember you have a plan B, in that you can always go back to Thailand.

Sorry if I have repeated anything already memtioned on the forum but it is a long thread and I haven`t read it all.

Shug

Good post Shug....but your last point made me smile.....not restricted to men with Thai GF's that gripe now is it?

[roamer]

Can we not all agree it depends on two individuals here ? Story ends there. Examples abound that relationships can beat the weather, lack of food, mother-in-laws, and somewhere in Scotland there is probably a Thai girl that cooks deep fried Mars bars to die for...no pun intended.

[Thakkar]

Can we not all agree it depends on two individuals here ? Story ends there. Examples abound that relationships can beat the weather, lack of food, mother-in-laws, and somewhere in Scotland there is probably a Thai girl that cooks deep fried Mars bars to die for...no pun intended.

If ever there was a final word on a forum topic, I'd say the above is it. Bravo.

[BigPanda]

Can we not all agree it depends on two individuals here ? Story ends there. Examples abound that relationships can beat the weather, lack of food, mother-in-laws, and somewhere in Scotland there is probably a Thai girl that cooks deep fried Mars bars to die for...no pun intended.

If ever there was a final word on a forum topic, I'd say the above is it. Bravo.

Maybe... but then, how would we pass time by reading and commenting on people life in a web forum ? Life would be boring if we can't judge the people and argue!

[Thakkar]

Can we not all agree it depends on two individuals here ? Story ends there. Examples abound that relationships can beat the weather, lack of food, mother-in-laws, and somewhere in Scotland there is probably a Thai girl that cooks deep fried Mars bars to die for...no pun intended.

If ever there was a final word on a forum topic, I'd say the above is it. Bravo.

Maybe... but then, how would we pass time by reading and commenting on people life in a web forum ? Life would be boring if we can't judge the people and argue!

Drats and curses, BigPanda. I wanted mine to be the final post...oh, wait...