Need your opinion as experts on Thai girls, telling my experience

[John2021]

Hi guys, i have been dating thai girls for the past 5 years, met during my trips, in parties, tinder, socials, thai friendly, apps, or anywhere literally.

The past year or so in dating apps only.

I am not talking of bar girls, i am talking of normal girls you meet anywhere who want and write they want serious relationship. Mostly with Uni or studied ones.

The impression that i have is if you exist or not nothing changes. They ''love you'' when together but always ready to forget you quickly. And they prove this when you finish the relationship. Same if you die or are alive. They seem they dont suffer for love, but move on quickly. And live ''love'' in a different way from us. 

All the ones i met they keep changing boyfriends a lot, and most of the times happened to me this recurring thing, they finish with you and after a day or so (or during) they have another man ready, they don't suffer?Are they so much players?And they already talk of looking for better ones after that.

Why they talk with so many men or have so many men approaching them?This is true, men bombarding them on socials with messages etc.

You check their socials (line / instagram) and always see (even the small accounts) various foreigners putting likes, that's a bad signal.

Also, they always have EX boyfriends who desperately want them back.

Do they exist real thai ladies who fall in love in the old way?

I feel for them love is like a market, always looking for something better and more fresh. At least the girls i met.

The thing that worries me the most is see they forget you quickly, for me when i finish a relationship i will suffer, is that because of their religion?

I had cases where i fell in love with them, made gifts (never sent money), but seemed never enough. At the first occasion as  I left the country or far for some days or not present, quickly they jumped in some other men who was talking to them and which they lied saying they were not talking to others.

Is that because i never support them financially and most men do?

I had cases were after months of chatting they blocked me and found out they took a flight to the Ex boy in Germany. Like i didn't exist from a day to another. Wow.

Shall i change nationality? What am i doing wrong? Thanks for your feedback.

[Airalee]

22 minutes ago, John2021 said:

What am i doing wrong?

You’re not doing anything wrong….you’re just finally catching on to the way things are here.

[JustAnotherHun]

"Love is just a four letter word" (Bob Dylan)

"What you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons" (Don Draper)

[Kwasaki]

41 minutes ago, John2021 said:

What am i doing wrong? Thanks for your feedback.

Ever heard of commitment.

[Golden Triangle]

Stop looking online, the ones on line as far as I can work out only want your dosh, I met plenty of very nice ladies working in markets, 7/11 etc, yeah had a few bar girls in the early days of a month long holiday to get rid of the dirty water but plenty of normal girls out there.

 

My Mrs used to sell fish in lots of the local wet markets, we met at a party of a mutual friend, been together for just over 10 years now, my neighbour has a GF who operates 3 or 4 food stalls around the Jomtien area, always busy ordering stock & checking on staff, but she's independent and enjoys life. Try normal women.

[TC17]

I think there are three issues here.

1) In this culture, the woman expects the man to support them and their family.  In return, you will be cared for in old age.  2)  Buddhism very much encourages you to live in the moment. The now is whatatters most.  The dwelling on the past leads to depression and dwelling on the future leads to anxiety.  

3)  What brings you here, brings thousands of guys here.  So your competition is fierce.  

[BangkokReady]

49 minutes ago, John2021 said:

They seem they dont suffer for love, but move on quickly. And live ''love'' in a different way from us. 

I think that women generally already have a different view of "love" than men do and find it far more easy to end relationships and move on (and of course men approach women so...).  They also see relationships as a little more dependent on what men can "provide" for them.  I believe, anecdotally, women are far morel likely to leave men for various reasons to do with finance and lifestyle, while men will stay with a woman through far more difficult situations.  On the other hand though, men are probably more likely to cheat or leave a woman if she becomes physically unattractive.

 

In terms of Thai people, my theory, based on observations, is that Thai people love their families in ways that we would love our partners.  So their feelings in a relationship are far more mercenary, possibly even more so than Western women.

 

It's very easy to say "I love you", but the way Thai relationships work (with the proclivity of cheating that is often tolerated and the close relationships that Thai people have with their families and friends, rather than their partners), makes me wonder if they really experience love in romantic relationships anywhere near the way we think we do in the West.  Perhaps they are far more about money, so they will always head to the person with a, the most money and b, the most ready to commit and give them money.

 

Just some random thoughts.  Happy (and actively hope to) be proved wrong.

Edited August 28, 2021 by BangkokReady

[In Full Agreement]

 

You TINK TOO MUTT

 

[Airalee]

37 minutes ago, Maha Sarakham said:

You answered it yourself.

It’s more than just a money thing.  It’s like their addiction to social media “likes”.  I have found that the most beautiful Thai women are often the most insecure.  As soon as you stop feeding their desperate need to feel better about themselves, they’re on to their next fix.  Even after their nose jobs, chin jobs, braces, fillers, facials etc, they feel the same way about themselves after the novelty wears off.  And that’s what we are to them after a while….a novelty…showering them with compliments and gifts.  I usually sense it and then am the first to turn tail and run, however.

 

Be a Skittles man…

 

https://heartiste.org/2009/05/19/be-a-skittles-man/

[RichardColeman]

53 minutes ago, Golden Triangle said:

Stop looking online, the ones on line as far as I can work out only want your dosh,

I met my school teacher, 'normal' wife on-line on Thaifriendly. I met and married her within 4 weeks, happy married with one kiddie now for 6 years. Never asked me for anything other than our family living expenses. Best, considerate and kindest person I ever met.

 

 

[bunnydrops]

3 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

I met my school teacher, 'normal' wife on-line on Thaifriendly. I met and married her within 4 weeks, happy married with one kiddie now for 6 years. Never asked me for anything other than our family living expenses. Best, considerate and kindest person I ever met.

 

 

Pretty much my story. Met on Thaikisses, Married 2 months after I met her. A hard working woman. Even though I told her she didn't have to work, she works everyday for less than 500 baht a day when here in Thailand. ^ months out of the year we go back to the US where she got a job working in landscaping. 11 years together now. I recommend the book "Thai Fever" to learn about how Thai women think.

[Tarteso]

5 hours ago, John2021 said:

i have been dating thai girls for the past 5 years, met during my trips, in parties, tinder, socials, thai friendly, apps, or anywhere literally.

These girls are doing, literally, the same things like you do…. ????

[Tanomazu]

5 hours ago, John2021 said:

All the ones i met they keep changing boyfriends a lot, and most of the times happened to me this recurring thing

It's called "Hypergamy".

 

The phenomenon of women seeking partners with higher economic means and / or status, primarily to achieve economic security but also upward social mobility, has existed for centuries.

 

If a woman has the opportunity to enter a relationship with a man of higher economic means or status, there is a strong chance she will leave you for him.

 

 

[Gottfrid]

This is hilarious! Thanks for the entertainment. Now to your problem:

 

1. You do not seem to realize that bar girls and uni or other student basically are the same. They only do the work to get the means they need to support what they are doing.

2. That you never give any money is both a both and a bad thing. It´s also there reason why they forget you quickly. Referring to point 1 above. It´s good because you do not lose it to a person that does not love you. It´s bad because do not pay for the services given to you, because that´s what it is.

 

3. You have to stop being so naive. If you wish a real relation with a woman, you must stop looking in places where desperate women are advertising themselves.

 

If you now follow the facts and the information above, you will only stand in front of this:

• Buying land and building a house.
• Paying for the monthly expenses.
• Invest in a car for looking like normal people.
• Remember that your wife is a woman in need of expensive gifts.

As you can clearly see, there is no way out. Better just take it as a man. Let the stick enjoy the ride and live while you can. ????????

[cyril sneer]

6 hours ago, John2021 said:

You check their socials (line / instagram) and always see (even the small accounts) various foreigners putting likes, that's a bad signal.

I’ve only ever seen this with bar girls

[talahtnut]

I came to Thailand with a £4 dodgy folding shopper bike,

crashed into a scuffy bricklayer, married her 2 years later

in town office and celebrated with a bottle of Leo.

That was 23 years ago, been my bestest buddy ever since.

Do you want to borrow my old bike mate?

[wprime]

7 hours ago, John2021 said:

What am i doing wrong?

They're certainly capable of love but they don't love you - simple as that.

 

Have you actually shagged any of these girls? Until you <deleted> them they tend not to get serious/committed. Once you <deleted> them they fall in love with you and become obsessed with you.

[metisdead]

A post with misquoted content has been removed.

 

A post with a trolling image and a reply has been removed. 

[Damrongsak]

OP, I can't help these days.  It was very different 43 years ago when I eventually married a gal I met in the market in Loei, selling clothes.  There was no real dating, NO sex, more of a platonic relationship with her family or friends ever present. Just pals staving off boredom. We spoke Thai together, not English. She wasn't wild about coming to the U.S., but we came back and raised a family.  She's hard-working, frugal and a bit crazy every other day.  So the good ones are out there.  Just don't be too anxious. 

 

And don't forget the "better or worse" part.

[ezzra]

8 hours ago, John2021 said:

Is that because i never support them financially and most men do?

All the rest of your post is moot, in Thailand money talks, the rest walks, while everywhere else you can melt a lady heart with bunch of flowers, here a bunch of money will do the trick and the rest is just icing on the cake...

[clivebaxter]

Not another 'first post' to create a response with a click bait subject, why do people always fall for it?

[fredscats]

Im the other way,promise them the earth,half hour later move on

[4MyEgo]

[4MyEgo]

8 hours ago, John2021 said:

I am not talking of bar girls, i am talking of normal girls you meet anywhere who want and write they want serious relationship.

"Your a funny guy", I met my wife of 15 years in a bar 15 years ago like most happily married guys here, and those who divorced theirs, are you looking for a virgin ?

 

Wait for the bars to open up again, you never know your luck in the LOS.

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, bunnydrops said:

Pretty much my story. Met on Thaikisses, Married 2 months after I met her. A hard working woman. Even though I told her she didn't have to work, she works everyday for less than 500 baht a day when here in Thailand. ^ months out of the year we go back to the US where she got a job working in landscaping. 11 years together now. I recommend the book "Thai Fever" to learn about how Thai women think.

Be glad she works and hasn't become a self entitled demanding and dissatisfied woman, that has a bit on the side to spice up her boring life.

Besides, guys need some space.

[2long]

To me, this thread stinks of a bored troll.

Yes, I've said this before recently, but there are a lot of bored guys out there who can't go to a bar right now. 

Newbie = new (spare) account? ????????

Come on you guys.... ????

But if I'm wrong, I hold my hands up. ????????

[BE88]

8 hours ago, Airalee said:

It’s more than just a money thing.  It’s like their addiction to social media “likes”.  I have found that the most beautiful Thai women are often the most insecure.  As soon as you stop feeding their desperate need to feel better about themselves, they’re on to their next fix.  Even after their nose jobs, chin jobs, braces, fillers, facials etc, they feel the same way about themselves after the novelty wears off.  And that’s what we are to them after a while….a novelty…showering them with compliments and gifts.  I usually sense it and then am the first to turn tail and run, however.

 

Be a Skittles man…

 

https://heartiste.org/2009/05/19/be-a-skittles-man/

Agree, many Thai women are very insecure about their body and therefore they submit to incredible torture to change their appearance so much that you no longer recognize them the next time you meet them, not even their BF.

In fact a lot of GF changes after these exuberant modifications.

 

[RAZZELL]

3 hours ago, Tanomazu said:

It's called "Hypergamy".

 

The phenomenon of women seeking partners with higher economic means and / or status, primarily to achieve economic security but also upward social mobility, has existed for centuries.

 

If a woman has the opportunity to enter a relationship with a man of higher economic means or status, there is a strong chance she will leave you for him.

 

 

Also, called looking for the BBD.

 

"Bigger, Better, Deal."

[CANSIAM]

Don't fall in love mate and you'll be just fine, enjoy the abundance of beauty that surrounds you ! cheers.   

[actonion]

In the 21 years of living permanently in Thailand i have had 2 relationships, one was  a bar lady,  and two were office workers. who had university diplomas!!

 

The bar ;lady was  the only one who didnt pester for money, one of the  office lady  who said she was a Certified Accountant could not write  Two Million Fiive Hundered Thousand Thai Baht in figures plus a host of other problems