What Is A Fair Amount To Give Your Lady

[robblok]

Some of us are young enough to have grown up in colour

Yup, I'm 30 myself and moved here at 25.

surely it would be outrageous not to bring one's emotions into such a topic,

Well as per the culture of such relationships, emotions don't enter the fray all that much as both know what the relationship is - Sugar Daddy, service provider. Everybody's happy, and free to enjoy the fruits of their investment - money/services.

Until serious emotions are brought into it that is. Usually when a westerner is involved in the sugar daddy/service provider relationship, but is blinded by the cultural ignorance and emotions his western upbringing produce, and incorrectly view the relationship as something else entirely.

Those of us with our own teeth (over there, in the glass, bleaching) are lucky that some of our relationships are based on mutual affection rather than commercial gain (honestly...). And my point was, that even in that case you ought to be happy to put your hand in your pocket to provide financial support

SC

If needed i will help my wife of course, and if something like an air conditioner needs to be replaced i will be the one paying not her. But the whole salary idea and making a girl dependent is a bit crazy. Also i think you know what i mean when i was talking about giving a salary. Then im not talking about your average relation.

[thomo]

that some of our relationships are based on mutual affection rather than commercial gain (honestly...).

Absolutely....

'Some'.

And my point was, that even in that case you ought to be happy to put your hand in your pocket to provide financial support

Mutual happiness is what relationships are about innit. Everybody's happy. Sweet!

Happy to pay for the services provided... Brilliant. Enjoy it all.

[meom]

Different strokes for different folks I guess. I would not call it a salary though.

For example let’s say your income is 50 thou a month and hers is 10 thou a month so you got 60 thou together. Take out 15 thou for rent, household bills, food etc. and you’re left with 45 thou. So out of that amount how much would you suggest she can spent on herself?

In my case I like to spent 10 thou on drinking beer with my friends so she can have also 10 thou to do with as she pleases.

You think that’s too generous?

That is a choice you make not mine. I would say by paying all costs you gave her enough already. Also i would try to get her to go to school or start her a business up because 10thou is nothing. My gf makes around 30k (still not much money but ok for a Thai)

I suppose it depends how you calculate. Taking into consideration both our incomes than 15 thou common household expenses would in theory equate to 12.5 thou on my part and 2.5 thou on her part. The 2x10 thou private money would equate to 16687 on my part and 3313 on her part.

Altogether so far we have each contributed 58% of our income so I don’t really see how I pay all.

I dont get it and im an accountant. But then again i was busy working so i might not have focussed.

This is how i read it:

60K combined 50 you 10 her

You pay all costs for living 15 K.

leaves you with 35k and her with 10k

As there are no other mutual costs it looks like you paid them all and she has paid nothing of the mutual costs.

If you then give her an other 10K or so that means she pays no costs AND gets 10k leaves her with 20k and you with 25 K.

I probably misread somewhere. But in the end its not what i think is fair but what you think is fair.. I have an opinion about it but you are the one paying.

I think you not really read the part where I said we have 60 thou together. So taking out 15 thou leaves 45 thou together etc. The whole point is about sharing right?

[thomo]

I think you not really read the part where I said we have 60 thou together. So taking out 15 thou leaves 45 thou together etc. The whole point is about sharing right?

Hey, where can I find someone who earns 6 times my salary to share 50/50...

Sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

[robblok]

That is a choice you make not mine. I would say by paying all costs you gave her enough already. Also i would try to get her to go to school or start her a business up because 10thou is nothing. My gf makes around 30k (still not much money but ok for a Thai)

I suppose it depends how you calculate. Taking into consideration both our incomes than 15 thou common household expenses would in theory equate to 12.5 thou on my part and 2.5 thou on her part. The 2x10 thou private money would equate to 16687 on my part and 3313 on her part.

Altogether so far we have each contributed 58% of our income so I don’t really see how I pay all.

I dont get it and im an accountant. But then again i was busy working so i might not have focussed.

This is how i read it:

60K combined 50 you 10 her

You pay all costs for living 15 K.

leaves you with 35k and her with 10k

As there are no other mutual costs it looks like you paid them all and she has paid nothing of the mutual costs.

If you then give her an other 10K or so that means she pays no costs AND gets 10k leaves her with 20k and you with 25 K.

I probably misread somewhere. But in the end its not what i think is fair but what you think is fair.. I have an opinion about it but you are the one paying.

I think you not really read the part where I said we have 60 thou together. So taking out 15 thou leaves 45 thou together etc. The whole point is about sharing right?

If you do that with just a casual gf your a better man then i am (with a wife i would understand). With sharing i always mean share in the costs.

But if you want to be fair then you should give her 12.5k salary. Then you both have 22.5k I would never do such a thing.

I am married so it does not really matter that much once i die she gets it anyway if we divorce she gets 50% of money accumulated during the marriage. But we like to keep our money separate the way we do it.

[meom]

I think you not really read the part where I said we have 60 thou together. So taking out 15 thou leaves 45 thou together etc. The whole point is about sharing right?

Hey, where can I find someone who earns 6 times my salary to share 50/50...

Sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

If you're a woman you find that pretty much all over the world.

You just have to get married

For men it's a bit more difficult although not impossible to find a woman who earns much more and is willing to share.

Chances of finding that in Thailand are minimal though.

[meom]

If you do that with just a casual gf your a better man then i am (with a wife i would understand). With sharing i always mean share in the costs.

But if you want to be fair then you should give her 12.5k salary. Then you both have 22.5k I would never do such a thing.

I am married so it does not really matter that much once i die she gets it anyway if we divorce she gets 50% of money accumulated during the marriage. But we like to keep our money separate the way we do it.

Depends how you define casual. I would not consider it with a one night stand but if she's more permanent, we move in together etc. then yes I would.

[robblok]

If you do that with just a casual gf your a better man then i am (with a wife i would understand). With sharing i always mean share in the costs.

But if you want to be fair then you should give her 12.5k salary. Then you both have 22.5k I would never do such a thing.

I am married so it does not really matter that much once i die she gets it anyway if we divorce she gets 50% of money accumulated during the marriage. But we like to keep our money separate the way we do it.

Depends how you define casual. I would not consider it with a one night stand but if she's more permanent, we move in together etc. then yes I would.

Ok your views.. i would not do it that way, maybe after marriage. Anyway i would go the other way trying to increase her income instead of giving mine away. But it depends if i would call this buying a girl. What i mean with buying is getting a girl way out of your league and bribing her with money to stay. I would certainly not start off with impressing a girl with money.

[richardjm65]

We moved up-country after the '97 financial crash ended my business in Bangkok. Eventually started making bread, rolls, burgers and pizzas for the local foreign community and the deal was that my wife copped all the receipts from bread sales whilst I paid for all the supplies, electricity, home improvements and so on. She learned from me how to make our bread products and now makes it all. She knows the business well and understands that she has a useful trade for when I'm no longer around. She also understands that the more she makes and sells, the more money there is for her to put in her bank account. I should add that from her receipts, she pays for whatever we need in the way of veggies, meat and fish from the local market. It seems to benefit us both - I pay for what supplies are needed - she has a certain financial independence and pride in her products. If she were ever to need additional funds, she has only to ask. I don't expect her to draw down on her own bank account which has now grown to almost 300,000baht. She gets a modest cash gift for her birthday and she does whatever she wishes with that. I have never regarded her as a possession, or someone who had to be paid to be with me. I think our relationship has within it mutual respect and affection and we both look out for each other. Pretty dam_n good, I reckon.

[TAWP]

It's all about the man's mental disposition to the money given.

If he sees the money as a salary he is giving the girl, then probably it is.

If they are married and share account, then it is something else.

For me, well, I have very little, so I just give my gf all the money she needs to pay for our rent, food etc and let her handle the money during the week and keep what I need to get to work. Avoids most of the 'can I have some money?'-issues, as she knows she has what I had.

[Hardie]

We moved up-country after the '97 financial crash ended my business in Bangkok. Eventually started making bread, rolls, burgers and pizzas for the local foreign community and the deal was that my wife copped all the receipts from bread sales whilst I paid for all the supplies, electricity, home improvements and so on. She learned from me how to make our bread products and now makes it all. She knows the business well and understands that she has a useful trade for when I'm no longer around. She also understands that the more she makes and sells, the more money there is for her to put in her bank account. I should add that from her receipts, she pays for whatever we need in the way of veggies, meat and fish from the local market. It seems to benefit us both - I pay for what supplies are needed - she has a certain financial independence and pride in her products. If she were ever to need additional funds, she has only to ask. I don't expect her to draw down on her own bank account which has now grown to almost 300,000baht. She gets a modest cash gift for her birthday and she does whatever she wishes with that. I have never regarded her as a possession, or someone who had to be paid to be with me. I think our relationship has within it mutual respect and affection and we both look out for each other. Pretty dam_n good, I reckon.

Good success story, I wish there were more like them. It seems there is a cultural divide not only between Thais and foreigners, but between foreigners who want love and foreigners who only want sex and other assorted services. A relationship is an investment, of course, but one that's capable of magic, not just money. I applaud those who give, not only take, and that refers to more than money. Bottom line: it is what you make of it.

[ttthailand]

I'm often appalled by the blokes who brag that they don't give their girlfriends any money - It is generally accepted here, I think, that one pays a tart a fair price for a fair service - so why would you pay her less because she wasn't a tart and had genuine affection for you? That seems to be taking advantage in the worst possible way.

Anyway, to answer the OP's original question, what is a fair amount... All of it, if that's what she needs. Or if you want to agree a fixed sum, then whatever the market dictates - ask her to call me and we can sort out a fair mid-market price...

SC

Why the hel_l would you pay if she loves you ? Did you pay your gf in your home country too to stay at home and do nothing ? If you so be free to do it here too. Since when is a relation a service and since when do you need to pay for it. (never paid for a relation always shared costs in relations here and in the home country) If your good for your gf love her she can do the same back for free. Its not that hard, but just keep kidding yourself that she loves you and not your $. Also when she calls you hansum just believe that its not your $ there that talks.

To the guy who said its heartless not to give the parents of the gf.. ask yourself how would they survive without you. Some guys just love to be milked by Thais just to have a girl they normally could not have because of their looks and character.

If your gf works and makes 10,000 baht a month and you make 100,000 or 300,000 baht a month don't you think that you can provide a little assistance to the woman you love. Some of us are more secure with our selves and our relationships to not get so carried away with the " does she love me for my money " thinking. Sure that happens but so what... Maybe even the girls who stay with men for free are thinking about the future money that the relationship might bring , if so it is the same thing but with a time delay...... What if she really loves you and you are tight with all your money. Don't you think she will resent you for being so tight. I think that is a quicker way to lose the woman you love.

[imaneggspurt]

It's nice of you to think of her mama and poppa but you shouldn't forget about her Thai boyfriend or husband who needs to maintain and pay installments on his new motorbike, finance his drinking, smoking and yaa baa habits, as well as support his own mia noi. I suggest you up it by at least 100% to avoid her getting beaten up too badly when he drops by blind drunk and broke again in the middle of the night.

ROTFL

[robblok]

I'm often appalled by the blokes who brag that they don't give their girlfriends any money - It is generally accepted here, I think, that one pays a tart a fair price for a fair service - so why would you pay her less because she wasn't a tart and had genuine affection for you? That seems to be taking advantage in the worst possible way.

Anyway, to answer the OP's original question, what is a fair amount... All of it, if that's what she needs. Or if you want to agree a fixed sum, then whatever the market dictates - ask her to call me and we can sort out a fair mid-market price...

SC

Why the hel_l would you pay if she loves you ? Did you pay your gf in your home country too to stay at home and do nothing ? If you so be free to do it here too. Since when is a relation a service and since when do you need to pay for it. (never paid for a relation always shared costs in relations here and in the home country) If your good for your gf love her she can do the same back for free. Its not that hard, but just keep kidding yourself that she loves you and not your $. Also when she calls you hansum just believe that its not your $ there that talks.

To the guy who said its heartless not to give the parents of the gf.. ask yourself how would they survive without you. Some guys just love to be milked by Thais just to have a girl they normally could not have because of their looks and character.

If your gf works and makes 10,000 baht a month and you make 100,000 or 300,000 baht a month don't you think that you can provide a little assistance to the woman you love. Some of us are more secure with our selves and our relationships to not get so carried away with the " does she love me for my money " thinking. Sure that happens but so what... Maybe even the girls who stay with men for free are thinking about the future money that the relationship might bring , if so it is the same thing but with a time delay...... What if she really loves you and you are tight with all your money. Don't you think she will resent you for being so tight. I think that is a quicker way to lose the woman you love.

If my gf would make 10.000 id make sure to invest in a business for her or help her to further her education instead of making her financially dependent. There is a difference between being tight and buying love. Deep in your heart you know where that is. I cant put it down with a pen because its something that is different in every situation but deep inside you know when your buying love and renting a girl and when not.

[imaneggspurt]

It's nice of you to think of her mama and poppa but you shouldn't forget about her Thai boyfriend or husband who needs to maintain and pay installments on his new motorbike, finance his drinking, smoking and yaa baa habits, as well as support his own mia noi. I suggest you up it by at least 100% to avoid her getting beaten up too badly when he drops by blind drunk and broke again in the middle of the night.

ROTFL my guts out,.:cheesy:

[bonobo]

My first wife supported me while I was getting my doctorate.  She was a working physician, and except for some Marine reserve pay, i was a full-time student without income.  Does that mean she was "buying" my affection?

[thomo]

Of course when you are Sugar Daddying a service provider half your age, it's also important that their wages won't be valued less than a lump sum payment upon your death.

[robblok]

My first wife supported me while I was getting my doctorate.  She was a working physician, and except for some Marine reserve pay, i was a full-time student without income.  Does that mean she was "buying" my affection?

Were you paid to do nothing or were you studying so you could later contribute to the household ?

I think you know the answer already.

There are a lot of grey area's but people paying their girls off often deep inside know the score. I would always help my gf / wife so she could earn more money herself instead of making her dependent on me.

[TAWP]

My first wife supported me while I was getting my doctorate.  She was a working physician, and except for some Marine reserve pay, i was a full-time student without income.  Does that mean she was "buying" my affection?

Did she give you set salary ontop of food and rent for you to spend on makeup and parties with your friends?

If not, the no, she was not. She was just being the better paid partner.

[bonobo]

My first wife supported me while I was getting my doctorate.  She was a working physician, and except for some Marine reserve pay, i was a full-time student without income.  Does that mean she was "buying" my affection?

Did she give you set salary ontop of food and rent for you to spend on makeup and parties with your friends?

If not, the no, she was not. She was just being the better paid partner.

Make up and parties?  No.  Golf, yes.

And the "better-paid" partner is exactly right.  Whomever makes more, pays more.  I put my second wife through medical school and paid for everything as she didn't work at a job.

In Thailand, I have had maybe three serious relationships.  While I pretty much paid for all expenses (except for one who always paid for our movies), I never gave out any direct cash other than an occasional purchase while we were out shopping or while I was back in the US and was asked to pick up something.  But when dating a lawyer while I was in college, or while getting my doctorate, I had absolutely no problem relying financially on the women in my life.

[canuckamuck]

Bonobo the gigolo, who knew?

Just a gigolo

everywhere I go

people know the part

I'm playing

Paid for every dance

selling each romance

every night some heart

betraying

There will come a day

youth will pass away

then what will they say

about me

When the end comes I know

they'll say just a gigolo

as life goes on

without me

[TAWP]

My first wife supported me while I was getting my doctorate.  She was a working physician, and except for some Marine reserve pay, i was a full-time student without income.  Does that mean she was "buying" my affection?

Did she give you set salary ontop of food and rent for you to spend on makeup and parties with your friends?

If not, the no, she was not. She was just being the better paid partner.

Make up and parties?  No.  Golf, yes.

And the "better-paid" partner is exactly right.  Whomever makes more, pays more.  I put my second wife through medical school and paid for everything as she didn't work at a job.

In Thailand, I have had maybe three serious relationships.  While I pretty much paid for all expenses (except for one who always paid for our movies), I never gave out any direct cash other than an occasional purchase while we were out shopping or while I was back in the US and was asked to pick up something.  But when dating a lawyer while I was in college, or while getting my doctorate, I had absolutely no problem relying financially on the women in my life.

Then you obviously did not need to ask the question.

It is different in relationships where the girl explicitly asks the man 'how much can you give me per month' or the guy says 'I want you to stay with me, is 35k per month enough?' or when a girl during the first date says 'I want to move to a new apartment, it costs 30k/month, if you pay it for me you can come and stay there with me when you want'...

[bonobo]

Then you obviously did not need to ask the question.

It is different in relationships where the girl explicitly asks the man 'how much can you give me per month' or the guy says 'I want you to stay with me, is 35k per month enough?' or when a girl during the first date says 'I want to move to a new apartment, it costs 30k/month, if you pay it for me you can come and stay there with me when you want'...

Uh..., I was not really looking for an answer.  I already know what I think about the subject.

Who pays whom how much and for what is really pretty much up to them.  If all parties are happy, then who the heck cares?  I just don't understand the continual need to throw stones here.

[thomo]

OP.... If the tables were suddenly turned, and she had to help support you (and her family) through whatever work she could find, would she?

[ttthailand]

OP.... If the tables were suddenly turned, and she had to help support you (and her family) through whatever work she could find, would she?

It is hard to tell at this point. But I think after more time together perhaps she would if she could.

[PattayaParent]

I don't give my Thai Lady (my wife of 15 + a few more years) any money, as she has access to OUR joint account and can take when she requires money! ;)

Same here.