Marrying A Thai Woman

[ttthailand]

Many Farang only know Pattaya thu Walking Street, Beach Road at night, Soi 5-6 and Gogo, and these girls are very sweet speaking...red warning!

Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes. All have a sad story, and man you can have a lot of empathie for them, but they have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back.

Good luck with your marriage. Thai women are sweet and loving, not like most arrogant Western girls. They are also very crazy at time which make the life more fun.

Can you provide a link that proves "ALL" have a sad story, and as for that crap,

"They have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back"

<deleted> I nearly spit my coffee all over my PC when I read that crap, get a life <deleted>, try talking to some bar girls/prostitutes and ask them why they do it, you might get a suprise when you get the answers...Maybe your a troll or a missionary..

Speaking about bgs ( prostitutes)...Ask them why they do it and chances are they will lie to you....I have been in Thailand for 15 years and trust me there are some sweethearts who have to support their family and kids but most are in it only for the money. They do it only for the money ! They will tell you anything and most of us believe because we want to. I know young sweethearts who have computers, motorbikes, cell phones(all paid for) and money in the bank but are still in the game. They talk about sending money home to mama and papa but they never or nearly never do. They are in it for their own gain. They go out and party every night and treat their friend and Thai guys and act like they are rich...for what ??? Would a girl in the UK or America do the same to make 50 % or perhaps 150% more money in a month than they can normally, I think not ! Take off your rose color glasses...they are hookers and you should not get involved except for a one night stand. I know many guys who have been taken for a ride...including me....and it never turns out in our favor. At the end of the day we ( most) are understanding and let it slide but it hurts and they don't give a rats ass. Sorry but I speak true !!!! so as they say " Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes."

[richard_smith237]

3 Friends: Each recently Married to educated ladies.

Wife A: One: A Chula PHD Graduate and now lecturer.

Wife B: An MBA Graudate (forget which uni), now working for Thai Airways as a flight attendant.

Wife C: Rangsit BA and Thammarsat MA Graduate, works for family business.

In each of these three cases there is a less than 3 year age gap (33 to 36), each of the men are equally well educated and have respected careers.

Each of the couples live in Bangkok. Each appear to have very 'normal' relationships with a Thai and Western group of friends.

Each of the men would have had no issues finding a girl back home if they were living there, but met a Thai lady here as this is where their work brought them.

Each of the ladies in question would have no issues finding a 'well to do' Thai male of similar age (and their Western husbands were the first westerner they dated).

In two of the relationships the couples were not permitted to live together until married.

In short - Each of the couples are from a very similar Social, Economic and educational background and live a life no more or less extraordinary (with regards to their social activities) than they would in any other country or back home.

It doesn't take much knowledge of Thai customs not to make the wrong assumption, in cases like these its obvious and when out and about in Thailand or any other country they get treated as any other (non-mixed) couple. Of course there is the odd hiccup here and there but in general 'idiots can't be account for'.

I assume it's the 'grey' area's which are being discussed in the majority of this thread.......

[MB1]

@TTThailand....

Speaking about bgs ( prostitutes)...Ask them why they do it and chances are they will lie to you....I have been in Thailand for 15 years and trust me there are some sweethearts who have to support their family and kids but most are in it only for the money. They do it only for the money ! They will tell you anything and most of us believe because we want to. I know young sweethearts who have computers, motorbikes, cell phones(all paid for) and money in the bank but are still in the game. They talk about sending money home to mama and papa but they never or nearly never do. They are in it for their own gain. They go out and party every night and treat their friend and Thai guys and act like they are rich...for what ??? Would a girl in the UK or America do the same to make 50 % or perhaps 150% more money in a month than they can normally, I think not ! Take off your rose color glasses...they are hookers and you should not get involved except for a one night stand. I know many guys who have been taken for a ride...including me....and it never turns out in our favor. At the end of the day we ( most) are understanding and let it slide but it hurts and they don't give a rats ass. Sorry but I speak true !!!! so as they say " Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes."

"Sigh " Another self professed expert on Thai BG's after 15 years....You said in your post that quoted

" Sorry but I speak true".

Do you mean you speak for you and you got burnt and now have your guard up....

[raven0099]

Many Farang only know Pattaya thu Walking Street, Beach Road at night, Soi 5-6 and Gogo, and these girls are very sweet speaking...red warning!

Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes. All have a sad story, and man you can have a lot of empathie for them, but they have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back.

Good luck with your marriage. Thai women are sweet and loving, not like most arrogant Western girls. They are also very crazy at time which make the life more fun.

Can you provide a link that proves "ALL" have a sad story, and as for that crap,

"They have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back"

<deleted> I nearly spit my coffee all over my PC when I read that crap, get a life <deleted>, try talking to some bar girls/prostitutes and ask them why they do it, you might get a suprise when you get the answers...Maybe your a troll or a missionary..

Speaking about bgs ( prostitutes)...Ask them why they do it and chances are they will lie to you....I have been in Thailand for 15 years and trust me there are some sweethearts who have to support their family and kids but most are in it only for the money. They do it only for the money ! They will tell you anything and most of us believe because we want to. I know young sweethearts who have computers, motorbikes, cell phones(all paid for) and money in the bank but are still in the game. They talk about sending money home to mama and papa but they never or nearly never do. They are in it for their own gain. They go out and party every night and treat their friend and Thai guys and act like they are rich...for what ??? Would a girl in the UK or America do the same to make 50 % or perhaps 150% more money in a month than they can normally, I think not ! Take off your rose color glasses...they are hookers and you should not get involved except for a one night stand. I know many guys who have been taken for a ride...including me....and it never turns out in our favor. At the end of the day we ( most) are understanding and let it slide but it hurts and they don't give a rats ass. Sorry but I speak true !!!! so as they say " Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes."

Would a girl in the UK Or America do the same I think not you say

try telling that to Wayne Rooneys missus ! £1200 a night he was paying and the girls parents were minted !

I can tell you it does happen in the Uk and America however its a lot less common

[MB1]

Many Farang only know Pattaya thu Walking Street, Beach Road at night, Soi 5-6 and Gogo, and these girls are very sweet speaking...red warning!

Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes. All have a sad story, and man you can have a lot of empathie for them, but they have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back.

Good luck with your marriage. Thai women are sweet and loving, not like most arrogant Western girls. They are also very crazy at time which make the life more fun.

Can you provide a link that proves "ALL" have a sad story, and as for that crap,

"They have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back"

<deleted> I nearly spit my coffee all over my PC when I read that crap, get a life <deleted>, try talking to some bar girls/prostitutes and ask them why they do it, you might get a suprise when you get the answers...Maybe your a troll or a missionary..

Speaking about bgs ( prostitutes)...Ask them why they do it and chances are they will lie to you....I have been in Thailand for 15 years and trust me there are some sweethearts who have to support their family and kids but most are in it only for the money. They do it only for the money ! They will tell you anything and most of us believe because we want to. I know young sweethearts who have computers, motorbikes, cell phones(all paid for) and money in the bank but are still in the game. They talk about sending money home to mama and papa but they never or nearly never do. They are in it for their own gain. They go out and party every night and treat their friend and Thai guys and act like they are rich...for what ??? Would a girl in the UK or America do the same to make 50 % or perhaps 150% more money in a month than they can normally, I think not ! Take off your rose color glasses...they are hookers and you should not get involved except for a one night stand. I know many guys who have been taken for a ride...including me....and it never turns out in our favor. At the end of the day we ( most) are understanding and let it slide but it hurts and they don't give a rats ass. Sorry but I speak true !!!! so as they say " Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes."

TThailand you make me laugh, you say you have been in Thailand for 15 years but need to start threads like the below...LMAO

And also I've read some of your other posts and threads you've made, it seems your not as clued up on Thailand as you like to think you are...I doubt very much you've lived in Thailand for 15 years and if by any chance you actually have, you have IMO a lot of growing up and learning to do, so put back on your rose tinted specs hey...

Wow the thread..

"What Is A Fair Amount To Give Your Lady How much when you are here and not here"

Certainly was a classic from someone who says he's lived in Thailand for 15 years..

Edited September 14, 2010 by MB1

[sarahsbloke]

HAha, I hope you are joking.

I am very good at knowing the persons and talking with girls, you cannot beat me at this.

I can tell that most of the girls (not bar girls) I know had 3 or 4 boyfriends in their 20's.

Most regular girls are looking for a husband, and they are very shy externally (which does not means they are shy in the bed!). Beautiful girls have an ego and won't go with a farang with a dick in the head, you can be sure of that, or an uneducated Thai...

I have a concrete example of one girl, she is 28 and got 3 boyfriends total. She is stunning, when we go disco everyone is looking at her, very pale skin, small nose, and an ass to get you a boner instantly, 1.75m by all standard she is considered like at top model for the Thai. She got her first boyfriend at 19 and they stayed 5 years together, then they broke up and she stayed with nobody one year, then another boyfriend 2 years and now her boyfriend is a network engenier.

How do you know?

Top model girl tells you, ooh I good girl 28 and only had 3 boyfriends

Get a grip!

Edited September 15, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[MEGALITHIC]

Many Farang only know Pattaya thu Walking Street, Beach Road at night, Soi 5-6 and Gogo, and these girls are very sweet speaking...red warning!

Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes. All have a sad story, and man you can have a lot of empathie for them, but they have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back.

Good luck with your marriage. Thai women are sweet and loving, not like most arrogant Western girls. They are also very crazy at time which make the life more fun.

Can you provide a link that proves "ALL" have a sad story, and as for that crap,

"They have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back"

<deleted> I nearly spit my coffee all over my PC when I read that crap, get a life <deleted>, try talking to some bar girls/prostitutes and ask them why they do it, you might get a suprise when you get the answers...Maybe your a troll or a missionary..

Well said. In nearly all cases, when I've asked a bar girl why they do it for a job, the reply I get is "Don't like it but have to". A lot of them are very conscious that they're looked down on by the rest of Thai society. I know one girl who, in the morning when she departs, covers herself up with a jacket, removes all her make up and changes into flat soled shoes for the trip home on the sky train. What does that tell you? It tells you that they're aware that what they're doing is no good but financial pressure from their families, mainly, pushes them into it. Does anyone seriously think that a poorly educated girl, from the Nth East, can get by, in this day and age in Thailand on the rubbish wages that factories and building sites pay? The answer of course is no. Before we codemn people as being evil for what they do let's open our narrow minds and look at the bigger picture <deleted>.

[BOlopez]

Well said. In nearly all cases, when I've asked a bar girl why they do it for a job, the reply I get is "Don't like it but have to". A lot of them are very conscious that they're looked down on by the rest of Thai society. I know one girl who, in the morning when she departs, covers herself up with a jacket, removes all her make up and changes into  flat soled shoes for the trip home on the sky train. What does that tell you? It tells you that they're aware that what they're doing is no good but financial pressure from their families, mainly, pushes them into it. Does ly 24 hours to hang out with them.anyone seriously think that a poorly educated girl, from the Nth East, can get by, in this day and age in Thailand on the rubbish wages that factories and building sites pay? The answer of course is no. Before we codemn people as being evil for what they do let's open our narrow minds and look at the bigger picture <deleted>.

udder hoggwash!

a lot of girls- maybe 50%- like or love their hooking ways.  if they didnt like it their performance would show and guys wouldnt fly hours and hours to be with them.

[MEGALITHIC]

I think it all depends on the type of lifestyle you have as well. The educated, white skinned hi so types are basically city, or urban, types anyway. If that's what floats your boat then so be it. If you're an outdoors type, like I am, then the urban, white skinned hi so's aren't going to be to keen on hanging out on the beach getting a sun tan, jumping into sea, in a bikini, for a swim or riding around on the back of a motor bike. I got a 23 year gal from Udon Thani (never asked what she did before I met her and no doubt she's probably spent time in a bar) who is comfortable with all of that. She likes the beach, doesn't mind getting a tan and jumps into the sea all the time for a swim. It's all about finding what what fits, or works, for each individual. It's all about compatibility. No point having someone that doesn't like doing the things you like doing, it just aint gonna work. Any Thai woman that likes Thai soapies is immediately on my shit list as well lol.

[tropo]

I think it all depends on the type of lifestyle you have as well. The educated, white skinned hi so types are basically city, or urban, types anyway. If that's what floats your boat then so be it. If you're an outdoors type, like I am, then the urban, white skinned hi so's aren't going to be to keen on hanging out on the beach getting a sun tan, jumping into sea, in a bikini, for a swim or riding around on the back of a motor bike. I got a 23 year gal from Udon Thani (never asked what she did before I met her and no doubt she's probably spent time in a bar) who is comfortable with all of that. She likes the beach, doesn't mind getting a tan and jumps into the sea all the time for a swim. It's all about finding what what fits, or works, for each individual. It's all about compatibility. No point having someone that doesn't like doing the things you like doing, it just aint gonna work. Any Thai woman that likes Thai soapies is immediately on my shit list as well lol.

You know what you want and go for it. Good on you!

In reality most Thai girls are incompatible with most foreigners due to cultural, religious and language barriers. Couple that with the reason most Thai girls shack up with foreigners and visa versa and the answer becomes clear - DON'T DO IT!

[MEGALITHIC]

I think it all depends on the type of lifestyle you have as well. The educated, white skinned hi so types are basically city, or urban, types anyway. If that's what floats your boat then so be it. If you're an outdoors type, like I am, then the urban, white skinned hi so's aren't going to be to keen on hanging out on the beach getting a sun tan, jumping into sea, in a bikini, for a swim or riding around on the back of a motor bike. I got a 23 year gal from Udon Thani (never asked what she did before I met her and no doubt she's probably spent time in a bar) who is comfortable with all of that. She likes the beach, doesn't mind getting a tan and jumps into the sea all the time for a swim. It's all about finding what what fits, or works, for each individual. It's all about compatibility. No point having someone that doesn't like doing the things you like doing, it just aint gonna work. Any Thai woman that likes Thai soapies is immediately on my shit list as well lol.

You know what you want and go for it. Good on you!

In reality most Thai girls are incompatible with most foreigners due to cultural, religious and language barriers. Couple that with the reason most Thai girls shack up with foreigners and visa versa and the answer becomes clear - DON'T DO IT!

Sadly, you're right. That's why I maintain that any foriegner that lives in the LOS is better off remaining single. Just do what you want to do (as I do) and usually you find someone that gets interested. I do a lot of surfing in Phuket and samui and I always find some beach babe to hang out with me. I think they get surprised cause I don't drink or hang out in bars very much at all. Just stay healthy, hang out on the beach, surf, eat seafood and sleep good every night. I don't get attached. I just tell them that I'm doing what I want to do and if you want to tag along then that's cool. It seems to work

[tropo]

Speaking about bgs ( prostitutes)...Ask them why they do it and chances are they will lie to you....I have been in Thailand for 15 years and trust me there are some sweethearts who have to support their family and kids but most are in it only for the money. They do it only for the money ! They will tell you anything and most of us believe because we want to. I know young sweethearts who have computers, motorbikes, cell phones(all paid for) and money in the bank but are still in the game. They talk about sending money home to mama and papa but they never or nearly never do. They are in it for their own gain. They go out and party every night and treat their friend and Thai guys and act like they are rich...for what ??? Would a girl in the UK or America do the same to make 50 % or perhaps 150% more money in a month than they can normally, I think not ! Take off your rose color glasses...they are hookers and you should not get involved except for a one night stand. I know many guys who have been taken for a ride...including me....and it never turns out in our favor. At the end of the day we ( most) are understanding and let it slide but it hurts and they don't give a rats ass. Sorry but I speak true !!!! so as they say " Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes."

TThailand you make me laugh, you say you have been in Thailand for 15 years but need to start threads like the below...LMAO

http://www.thaivisa....dy/page__st__25

And also I've read some of your other posts and threads you've made, it seems your not as clued up on Thailand as you like to think you are...I doubt very much you've lived in Thailand for 15 years and if by any chance you actually have, you have IMO a lot of growing up and learning to do, so put back on your rose tinted specs hey...

Wow the thread..

"What Is A Fair Amount To Give Your Lady How much when you are here and not here"

Certainly was a classic from someone who says he's lived in Thailand for 15 years..

I'm trying to figure out what "TThailand" said that's got you LMAO'ing.

He offered some very good advice and offered accurate information about the bargirl scene. What was so funny?

[rizla]

You can take the girl out of the bar ..but you cant take the bar out of the girl

Great news, that means we get the best of both worlds......grow up <deleted>, a very large amount of these uni and graduate godesses that you place so high in your moral preaching box.....pay for their schooling by selling, in most cases their only asset..

Dont try and belittle people when you dont know their past.....i`ve said it before on here and will say it again, learn to live with the fact that unless you grow up with these people , live in or near their circle while they are growing up, myself and you have know idea of their past.....so take it or leave it, they dont care and all they ask you to do is not care too, dont come to a country where sex is a sellable item and then moan about it.....My G/F said she hasn`t worked in a br..But to be perfectly frank how the <deleted> would i know or find out....Or try the UK with it`s weekend slappers that think they are liberated, because the shag for free on a fridaynight ...yuk, and they slag the asia girls for charging for it...who`s the loser?.....so the next time you climb into your silk lined sheets with your holyer than now teerak, spare a thought, or not IT`S UP TO YOU

[BOlopez]

I think it all depends on the type of lifestyle you have as well. The educated, white skinned hi so types are basically city, or urban, types anyway. If that's what floats your boat then so be it. If you're an outdoors type, like I am, then the urban, white skinned hi so's aren't going to be to keen on hanging out on the beach getting a sun tan, jumping into sea, in a bikini, for a swim or riding around on the back of a motor bike. I got a 23 year gal from Udon Thani (never asked what she did before I met her and no doubt she's probably spent time in a bar) who is comfortable with all of that. She likes the beach, doesn't mind getting a tan and jumps into the sea all the time for a swim. It's all about finding what what fits, or works, for each individual. It's all about compatibility. No point having someone that doesn't like doing the things you like doing, it just aint gonna work. Any Thai woman that likes Thai soapies is immediately on my shit list as well lol.

You know what you want and go for it. Good on you!

In reality most Thai girls are incompatible with most foreigners due to cultural, religious and language barriers. Couple that with the reason most Thai girls shack up with foreigners and visa versa and the answer becomes clear - DON'T DO IT!

Sadly, you're right. That's why I maintain that any foriegner that lives in the LOS is better off remaining single. Just do what you want to do (as I do) and usually you find someone that gets interested. I do a lot of surfing in Phuket and samui and I always find some beach babe to hang out with me. I think they get surprised cause I don't drink or hang out in bars very much at all. Just stay healthy, hang out on the beach, surf, eat seafood and sleep good every night. I don't get attached. I just tell them that I'm doing what I want to do and if you want to tag along then that's cool. It seems to work

sounds good to me.         seems too many are trying to save the proverbial farmers daughter.................IT DOESNT WORK.       they think if they give money and security to girl all is good, you just cant buy love!

[nikkoid66]

Get a grip!

Hihi, Sarah, are you a (real) girl?

you just cant buy love!

True. Lot of people in Pattaya see the old men with little girls, hand in hand and feel "I do not need to get emotionally involved".

But if you fall, you get sick, loose your job, are depressed because you loose someone in your life, the girl you pay will go with someone else at the worse time, she will not help and she will not care, it is just a comedy....

Thai woman (most of them) are dedicated and will clean your s.hit if you have surgery, if they love you. they can love very deep. It is in their culture, just go see some Thai movie, they are born in a Traditional country, where love is highly valuated and where if you change partners a lot, you are considered like a whore.

It is always complicated to be with someone and to surrender, give you heard and share everything. But if one day you need any help, where ever you live in the world, you realize that without love, the life is empty, and money cannot fill this emptyness.

(sigh: I am in a poetic mood this morning!)

Edited September 16, 2010 by nikkoid66

[nikkoid66]

Well said. In nearly all cases, when I've asked a bar girl why they do it for a job, the reply I get is "Don't like it but have to". A lot of them are very conscious that they're looked down on by the rest of Thai society. I know one girl who, in the morning when she departs, covers herself up with a jacket, removes all her make up and changes into flat soled shoes for the trip home on the sky train. What does that tell you? It tells you that they're aware that what they're doing is no good but financial pressure from their families, mainly, pushes them into it. Does anyone seriously think that a poorly educated girl, from the Nth East, can get by, in this day and age in Thailand on the rubbish wages that factories and building sites pay? The answer of course is no. Before we codemn people as being evil for what they do let's open our narrow minds and look at the bigger picture <deleted>.

There are jobs in Pattaya (Bangkok I suppose too). It is not like in Europe. If you look for a job you can find, 8k to 12k bath/month, working 12h/day with one day off / month in the worse case. It is not an easy life for sure.

Selling your body is a choice. A lazy choice. One year in the University for English lessons costs 5000 baths. iPhone 30 000 Baths... Life give you choices.

Edited September 16, 2010 by nikkoid66

[bermondburi]

Most farang and Thais assume that a farang's Thai wife is a bar girl because the probabilities are very high that she is, and the probability increases if she is attractive (and speaks good English). I expect that near 80% fall into that category (maybe more). You may not like it, but that is the reality, regardless of the happy couple's claims about how/where they met. We all use probability to evaluate people and their behaviour -- if you are an under 25 male you are assumed to be a reckless driver because most in that age category are (and their car insurance rates reflect it). Let people "assume" what they want (they will anyway), but you know the truth....

maybe it's eighty percent where you live but as a general rule I find that hard to believe.

[bermondburi]

Certainly not all bar girls are sleazy. Certainly a large number of normal Thai women at some point in their life supplement their wages by the pay for play business.

One would have to be very naive if one did not come up with a statistic that at least 50% of marriageable Thai women have at some time or another in one way or another been involved in some way with the P4P business.

There have been various reports on major universities in Thailand that put the percent around the figure I have mentioned. If you look hard you can find them.

So it is certainly not a habit confined to women who work in bars.

People who look down on wives or women in general because of their past associations or employment or proclivities are in my mind really missing the point.

Sex is not the same in Thailand as in the west. They are bringing their own values to another culture and judging that culture by Western standards.

Do a large percent of Thai women who have Falang husbands also have Thai husbands? Of course they do and any Thai can attest to this. But it is not the same as having two husbands in London or NY. This is Thailand.

50 percent of marriageable ( whatever that means) women have been involved in the P4P business. Where do you get figures like this ? That is absolute rubbish. Maybe 5 percent or 10 at the most.

[bermondburi]

As has been stated above since it is a matter of plain observation that most Farangs married to Thai women started their relationship with a financial transaction, then people will make that assumption on the basis of probability.

A farang married to a Thai has two options on this:

Dismiss the opinions of others

Don't introduce your Thai wife here on ThaiVisa

The latter is advisable anyway, but particularly so if you can't bring yourself to manage the former.

As for what Thais thnk - Keep in mind that they on the one hand can see traits of behaviour in other Thais that we Farangs are blind to - They read other Thais like an open book. So they might be making an observation that the Farang who's been with his partner for years has never been able to make.

They might also be a tad green with envy - Especially if a number of trinkets and designer handbags etc have been affixed to disguise the what they can plainly see.

Maybe if you live in Pattaya or other tourist areas but I think if you go to " normal " places in Thailand then you will find that most relationships do not start with a financial transaction. In normal areas you generally get normal people.

[tropo]

Maybe if you live in Pattaya or other tourist areas but I think if you go to " normal " places in Thailand then you will find that most relationships do not start with a financial transaction. In normal areas you generally get normal people.

Where do you think all the people (girls) in Pattaya come from? "Normal" places of course. "Normal" places where their parents are quite happy to send them off to find gold in the form of naive foreigners. This is quite acceptable "normal" behaviour amongst the poorer Thai communities. The whole dowry aspect of marrying in Thailand sets families up to think of marriage in terms of its dollar value i.e. What's their daughter worth? How could you possibly seperate the two?

[BOlopez]

As has been stated above since it is a matter of plain observation that most Farangs married to Thai women started their relationship with a financial transaction, then people will make that assumption on the basis of probability.

A farang married to a Thai has two options on this:

Dismiss the opinions of others

Don't introduce your Thai wife here on ThaiVisa

The latter is advisable anyway, but particularly so if you can't bring yourself to manage the former.

As for what Thais thnk - Keep in mind that they on the one hand can see traits of behaviour in other Thais that we Farangs are blind to - They read other Thais like an open book. So they might be making an observation that the Farang who's been with his partner for years has never been able to make.

They might also be a tad green with envy - Especially if a number of trinkets and designer handbags etc have been affixed to disguise the what they can plainly see.

Maybe if you live in Pattaya or other tourist areas but I think if you go to " normal " places in Thailand then you will find that most relationships do not start with a financial transaction. In normal areas you generally get normal people.

can you give examples of normal areas .   thailand is one big bar!

[travelmann]

My wife isnt from a good family and she'll be the first to tell you that , she thinks they are lazy and ting tong.

[maccaroni man]

imho opinion i think the thread would read better if it asked why are girls from issan assumed to be prostitutes.

[bermondburi]

Maybe if you live in Pattaya or other tourist areas but I think if you go to " normal " places in Thailand then you will find that most relationships do not start with a financial transaction. In normal areas you generally get normal people.

Where do you think all the people (girls) in Pattaya come from? "Normal" places of course. "Normal" places where their parents are quite happy to send them off to find gold in the form of naive foreigners. This is quite acceptable "normal" behaviour amongst the poorer Thai communities. The whole dowry aspect of marrying in Thailand sets families up to think of marriage in terms of its dollar value i.e. What's their daughter worth? How could you possibly seperate the two?

I'm talking about the areas where you will see most foreigners with Thais such as Pattaya and other tourist areas but if you went to other areas in Thailand where the relationship had not actually started in a tourist area ( bar area ) then I think you will find that most relatoinships did not start through a financial transaction and it was more likely through work or by being introduced through a friend or something like that. Admittedly most BGs in Pattaya come from normal areas in Isaan but how many foreigners with a wife from Isaan actually meet their partner in Isaan ? Do you see what I mean ?

[tropo]

Maybe if you live in Pattaya or other tourist areas but I think if you go to " normal " places in Thailand then you will find that most relationships do not start with a financial transaction. In normal areas you generally get normal people.

Where do you think all the people (girls) in Pattaya come from? "Normal" places of course. "Normal" places where their parents are quite happy to send them off to find gold in the form of naive foreigners. This is quite acceptable "normal" behaviour amongst the poorer Thai communities. The whole dowry aspect of marrying in Thailand sets families up to think of marriage in terms of its dollar value i.e. What's their daughter worth? How could you possibly seperate the two?

I'm talking about the areas where you will see most foreigners with Thais such as Pattaya and other tourist areas but if you went to other areas in Thailand where the relationship had not actually started in a tourist area ( bar area ) then I think you will find that most relatoinships did not start through a financial transaction and it was more likely through work or by being introduced through a friend or something like that. Admittedly most BGs in Pattaya come from normal areas in Isaan but how many foreigners with a wife from Isaan actually meet their partner in Isaan ? Do you see what I mean ?

Funny you should say that, considering most Thai marriages start off with a financial transaction.

Pattaya and other such areas have a very strong influence on these "normal" areas you speak of because a lot of foreigners, even though they may not always physically visit, send a lot of wealth there. Other families see this and try to follow the trend heavily favouring favouring female offspring.

[mark45y]

Certainly not all bar girls are sleazy. Certainly a large number of normal Thai women at some point in their life supplement their wages by the pay for play business.

One would have to be very naive if one did not come up with a statistic that at least 50% of marriageable Thai women have at some time or another in one way or another been involved in some way with the P4P business.

There have been various reports on major universities in Thailand that put the percent around the figure I have mentioned. If you look hard you can find them.

So it is certainly not a habit confined to women who work in bars.

People who look down on wives or women in general because of their past associations or employment or proclivities are in my mind really missing the point.

Sex is not the same in Thailand as in the west. They are bringing their own values to another culture and judging that culture by Western standards.

Do a large percent of Thai women who have Falang husbands also have Thai husbands? Of course they do and any Thai can attest to this. But it is not the same as having two husbands in London or NY. This is Thailand.

50 percent of marriageable ( whatever that means) women have been involved in the P4P business. Where do you get figures like this ? That is absolute rubbish. Maybe 5 percent or 10 at the most.

Ten years ago in Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai they did studies of young people attending University as opposed to people not attending university. The findings were quickly lost as they cast a negative image on the morality of Thai young people.

In one large Chiang Mai university it was found that 50 percent of the women were involved in the P4P business at one time or another.

Or you can find the Uni girls who are working as Mia nois and discuss their lifestyles with them. They seem to congregate in the same apartment buildings.

Or you can go to the higher caliber night life places designed for Thai and other Asian males and talk to the ladies and ask them what they do during the day.

Or you can ride a song tau on the way to university areas and dress like a business man and see what happens.

It has been three years since I have lived in a tourist area but I find the action at the local level in the industrial area where I live equal to or greater than Pattaya or Bangkok.

It helps if you are a business man, speak Thai and there is at least a 20 year age difference between you and the women. Then you begin to see the numbers of women who may be interested in some part time P4P.

When I first lived in Thailand 30 years ago I never discussed Pay for play and I would not have know so many women were available.

Because our experiences are different does not mean what I say is rubbish only the world seen from a different angle.

Personally I don’t know any women from Issan so I can’t speak to that issue.

[sarahsbloke]

50 percent of marriageable ( whatever that means) women have been involved in the P4P business. Where do you get figures like this ? That is absolute rubbish. Maybe 5 percent or 10 at the most.

I'm with Marky on this, you need to get out of the tourist areas, learn Thai and see for yourself what is really happening.

I would say 50% was quite a conservative estimate.

[bermondburi]

50 percent of marriageable ( whatever that means) women have been involved in the P4P business. Where do you get figures like this ? That is absolute rubbish. Maybe 5 percent or 10 at the most.

I'm with Marky on this, you need to get out of the tourist areas, learn Thai and see for yourself what is really happening.

I would say 50% was quite a conservative estimate.

Don't patronise me. I live in Nonthaburi, not exactly on the tourist trail ! I have lived in Thailand for twelve years. Four years in Surat Thani, two in Ranong, two in Isaan and four where I am now. I have two children here. I can speak Thai very well. I don't think I am particulary blinkered as to what goes on in this country.

So are you really saying that you think more than half of all Thai women have at some point or other in their life been a prostitute ?

I can only presume that to make these judgements you must spend your time in less salubrious surroundings than I am used to and surround yourself with some more than dubious company.

[bermondburi]

"Funny you should say that, considering most Thai marriages start off with a financial transaction.

Pattaya and other such areas have a very strong influence on these "normal" areas you speak of because a lot of foreigners, even though they may not always physically visit, send a lot of wealth there. Other families see this and try to follow the trend heavily favouring favouring female offspring."

I think you know the kind of financial transaction I mean, and there is a big difference to throwing a thousand baht over a bar to someone you haven't met and showing a lot of money to the family of someone you want to marry who you have known for a long time, often having grown up in the same place.

Do Pattaya and other areas have that strong an influence on " normal " areas in Isaan. I beg to differ. The population of Isaan is twenty-five million. The amount of money of foreign origin is very small compared to remittances sent back by normal means. I would say it is dwarfed in fact. Sure, there is a probably a " bahn ferrang"in most villages, sometimes more maybe but in a village of a thousand homes it doesn't make a lot of difference. I lived in Isaan once for a couple of years and that is my experience of the place.

As for families favouring female offspring. I think the vast majority of Thais ( granted some families are in the industry) only care about having a healthy baby with ten fingers and ten toes. Not sending their daughter out to be a prostitute.

[sarahsbloke]

Don't patronise me. I live in Nonthaburi, not exactly on the tourist trail ! I have lived in Thailand for twelve years. Four years in Surat Thani, two in Ranong, two in Isaan and four where I am now. I have two children here. I can speak Thai very well. I don't think I am particulary blinkered as to what goes on in this country.

So are you really saying that you think more than half of all Thai women have at some point or other in their life been a prostitute ?

I can only presume that to make these judgements you must spend your time in less salubrious surroundings than I am used to and surround yourself with some more than dubious company.

No, I'm saying you live a very sheltered life, as do many white men over here, house, air-con, wife takes care, no need to mix.

I live in a town with many universities and colleges packed with students, and I mingle.

When out of sight of their family, ladies get up to all sorts, if your family don't find out, it never happened.